The Jar Podcast | Dignity, Restored, Marriage, Healing, Forgiveness Lydia Santos - Christian Wife Coach, Marriage Ministry Leader, Boymom

You may or may not have noticed there wasn’t a new episode last week.

Maybe you’ve been around long enough to know I haven’t missed a week in over 2.5 years, really, 3 years at least if you count the FB lives I did each Saturday before the podcast came along.

There’s been a shift in my heart, and I wanna talk about that today and what that means for The Jar Podcast, for you, and for me.





Resources mentioned by Dr. Carol:

Sexpectations course: Learn how to address your sexual story with honesty and compassion and write the next chapter with hope.

Having the Sex Talk with Your Spouse



Find a local Re|engage group near you!



Loads of Love, Lydia

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I don’t think anybody goes through a painful experience in their life and thinks, “Wow, this is a good thing I”m going through right now” or “Wow, this pain is really serving a purpose.” 



I don’t think that perspective is often a first instinct, but it doesn’t mean that the pain that you’re going through right now in your marriage or in your heart is for no reason.



In fact, pain can be a gift that we can actually use to start healing.

Loads of Love, Lydia

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Have you felt like you’ve worked really hard to be a good wife?

You take care of all the things. 

You keep up the house. 

You read marriage books.

You listen to podcasts.

You check the boxes and set more goals.



But you feel like all your hard work is for nothing, like a deficit or you've overdrawn your relationship bank account. And it’s left you feeling pretty discouraged… 



Piggy backing off of last week’s episode about how to cultivate contentment, this episode will get a little bit deeper, to more of the the root behind WHY there may be discontentment and offer 3 biblical lessons to apply to your marriage and battle your discouragement.



Loads of Love, Lydia

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Last week I went mountain biking for the first time. I was visiting my boss for a midyear work retreat and after a full morning of working, we put the bikes on the back of the car and headed to the trail.

In between some iffy moments, some bumps and scrapes and pauses to catch our breath, she’d say at every sharp turn or near any ledge “where you look is where you steer, so look ahead, not right in front of you.”Which got me thinking… where is your focus in your marriage and where is it steering you?

When things get rocky or steep, sometimes it’s easy to focus on each obstacle, get discouraged by each slip, get impatient when you have to slow down, wish you were already to the downhill portion.

Discontentment can begin to creep in and skew the beauty around us. It’s hard to be content when things are precarious, when circumstances or behaviors are disruptive, or our relationships are rocky. But it’s possible.

Here are 4 ways to cultivate contentment in your marriage.



Loads of Love, Lydia

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Some call it sassy. Some say it’s strong-willed. Others call it normal. When a wife purses her lips and puts her hands on her hips and corrects, finger shakes, eye-rolls, bites back with a comeback, or gives “the look.” The husband appeases, sits back, gives in, or avoids. She throws her hands up and exasperation. 



Society can take this behavior and even create comedy routines out of it. Social media pokes fun with Reels and calls it #relatable. But is it excusable? If something is so normal… is it wrong? Don’t all wives get upset, get a little snippy, or sassy? 



How’s that workin' for you, friend? Are these attitudes and angry moments making your marriage stronger? Are you ok with your words, thoughts, and actions in those moments or do you often feel guilty or wish you knew a better way to communicate? 



Take a deep breath– let’s talk about where your anger’s really coming from, understand it, and then learn how to regulate your emotions so you can calmly communicate with your husband.



Loads of Love, Lydia

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Does Your Husband Expect Sex Even When You Don’t Want It?

Have you experienced trauma in you past that makes intimacy difficult for you?

You want him to feel fulfilled but you just don’t enjoy it?



You WANT this area of your marriage to be healthy, strong and comfortable, but there’s a lot to unpack. You WANT to open up to your husband about it, but you also don’t want to make him feel bad… plus, it’s just plain embarrassing sometimes!



Whether it’s a phase of life, low libido, damage or baggage from past relationships, or your own past sin, this is NOT what you expected for your sex life in marriage. Whether you’re an exhausted mom of littles just trying to make it to bedtime with nothing left over, a newlywed just trying to figure this out, or a busy mom of teens chauffering everyone all over the place and managing all the schedules… this is for you.



Let’s hear from Dr. Carol Tanksley today on this one super important factor that can lead to healing and a healthier intimacy with your husband. 



Resources mentioned by Dr. Carol:

Sexpectations course: Learn how to address your sexual story with honesty and compassion and write the next chapter with hope.

Having the Sex Talk with Your Spouse

Loads of Love, Lydia

--> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show!

--> Leave a 5-star rating & written review

--> Leave me a ⁠SpeakPipe⁠ question!

--> Join the ⁠Christian Wife and Marriage ⁠Facebook community