The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

Danielle Black

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast Hosted by Danielle Black A no-fluff, evidence-based podcast for parents navigating post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, and high-conflict separation and divorce - with a relentless focus on protecting children in a system that too often fails them. Hosted by Danielle Black, Australia’s leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, this podcast is not about "amicable co-parenting at all costs", outdated ideologies, or adult notions of fairness. It is about understanding how abuse frequently continues through parenting arrangements after separation - and what genuinely child-centred decision-making looks like when risk, fear, or power imbalance is present. Each episode challenges the myths that place children in harm’s way, including Australia’s dangerous obsession with 50/50 shared care, the misapplication of "friendly parent" ideals, and the expectation that protective parents should endlessly compromise to keep the peace. Drawing on developmental science, research-based evidence, trauma-informed practice, and lived experience, Danielle breaks down: How post-separation abuse actually operatesWhy many standard parenting frameworks fail children in high-conflict casesWhat evidence-based, defensible, child-focused parenting really requiresHow to move from confusion and self-doubt to clarity and confidence This podcast is for parents who are done minimising risk, done being gaslit by systems and professionals, and done prioritising adult comfort over children’s safety and development. Expect direct language, research-backed insight, practical guidance and a few cuss words here and there - not platitudes, false balance, or pressure to accept arrangements that don’t sit right - because children’s wellbeing matters more than adult fairness. Always. To go deeper, explore The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, Danielle’s flagship program supporting parents to make informed, protective decisions after separation. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au Keywords: post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, high-conflict parenting, separation, divorce, family court, Australian family law.

  1. 3H AGO

    101. AI tools for protective parents: Claude.ai, ChatGPT and AI Danielle - the 24/7 digital coach inside the Blueprint

    What if you had access to a specialist coaching resource trained in coercive control, the Australian family law system, attachment science, and nervous system regulation - any time of day or night, at no additional cost? In this episode, Danielle Black introduces AI Danielle - the digital coaching resource built for the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ - and does something she's never done before on this podcast: has a live, unscripted conversation with her on air. This is not a demo. This is a real interaction - Danielle asking questions, AI Danielle responding in real time. You'll hear how she handles the question of her own limitations, how she responds to a real scenario a protective parent might bring, and what it actually feels like to interact with a resource that understands your specific context. In this episode: Why Danielle was sceptical about AI - and what changedWhat AI Danielle actually is, and what she isn'tHow she differs from general AI tools like Claude.ai and ChatGPTThe live conversation: Danielle and AI Danielle in real timeWhat AI Danielle can do for you at 3am before a family report interviewModule 22 of the Blueprint: AI in Your Corner - including the one-of-a-kind affidavit preparation resourceBlueprint members and those working with Danielle Black Coaching via a coaching package have unlimited access to AI Danielle - any time, any question, no additional cost. For everyone else, she's available free on the website with limited messaging. If you've been curious about AI tools for your post-separation journey - or if you've tried general AI and found it doesn't understand your context - this episode will change how you think about what's possible. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    37 min

  2. 6D AGO

    100. The game is the same - 17 Years, 100 Episodes, and the debut of 'Stronger, Braver, Together'

    One hundred episodes. In this milestone episode, Danielle Black does something she has never quite done before - she tells the full truth about where this work came from, what it has cost, and why she hasn't walked away. More than seventeen years ago, Danielle was a young mother with a 12-month-old son. She was told by a family lawyer to agree to the 50/50 care arrangements that her abusive ex was demanding. She developed C-PTSD. She kept her phone on silent for a decade because the sound of a message arriving triggered a full panic response. And through all of it, she performed 'reasonableness' - because that was what the professionals, and the system, rewarded. This episode is honest about what has changed in the Australian family law system since then. And equally honest about what hasn't. In this episode Danielle covers: What the family law system was like 17 years ago - and what it looks like nowWhy legislative change and practice change are not the same thingThe invisible architecture of what Danielle has built - and why boundaries are not a failure of dedicationWhy she didn't burn it down when she wanted toA direct message to the parent who is where she was seventeen years agoThis is not a highlight reel. It is a reckoning - and a declaration. This episode also marks the debut of Stronger, Braver, Together - the second original anthem created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching. Written for every parent who has carried more than they should, who has learned to move with clarity rather than chaos, and who is choosing to build rather than burn - this song closes Episode 100 as it should be closed. Not with noise, but with quiet strength. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    34 min

  3. APR 8

    99. Why your family lawyer can't do what you actually need - and what only you can do

    Your lawyer is not trying to find the truth. And once you understand why - once you really understand how the adversarial legal system is designed and what it is and isn't built to deliver - everything changes. In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black explores one of the most misunderstood dynamics in family law: the gap between what parents expect from their legal team and what lawyers are actually trained and tasked to do. It's not a failing of your lawyer. It's the design of the system. And knowing the difference is one of the most clarifying - and empowering - shifts a protective parent can make. Danielle covers: How the adversarial legal system actually works - and why "finding the truth" isn't the pointWhat your family lawyer's job is, and what it isn'tWhy the other side's lawyer will never educate their client about what your children need (and why that's not a moral failure)Why the family report is not the last word - and what happens at final trialWhat "becoming the expert in your own case" actually looks like in practiceWhy no one else is going to do this work - and why you are the only person in these proceedings specifically motivated to do itThis is not an episode that criticises lawyers. It's an episode that tells you the truth about what the system is designed to do - so you can stop expecting the wrong things from the wrong people, and start directing your energy toward what you can actually build and control. If you have ever felt bewildered that your lawyer "doesn't get it," frustrated that the other side's legal team isn't advocating for your children, or unsure why the system seems so disconnected from what your kids actually need — this episode will reframe everything. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    25 min

  4. APR 1

    98. How I did it - Dating after abuse, self-trust, and deciding you're not too broken

    Dating after domestic violence, coercive control, or post-separation abuse is one of the most under-discussed topics in the survivor space. Most people are somewhere between terrified and convinced it's simply not possible for them. In this honest, personal episode, Danielle Black shares what dating after abuse actually looked like from the inside - not a glossy highlight reel, but the real experience of venturing back into connection while still afraid. This episode explores: Why "my picker is broken" is one of the most common fears after abusive relationships - and what to do with itThe difference between waiting until you're not afraid, and doing it afraid anywayWhy safety is not the absence of threat - it is the presence of safe connectionHow self-trust, not trust in another person, is the foundation of healthy relationships after abuseWhat Danielle looked for, paid attention to, and would have walked away fromThe role of nervous system capacity in building new relationships after traumaWhy "not fully healed" is not the same as "not ready"What it means to love fully while trusting yourself to have your own backThis episode follows on from Episode 97, in which Danielle's husband Drew joined the podcast for the first time. It does not require you to have listened to that episode first - but listeners who have will find it deepens what was raised there. If you have wondered whether healthy relationships after abuse are possible for you - or whether you are simply too damaged, too cautious, or too far from ready - this episode is for you. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    25 min

  5. MAR 25

    97. Can you find a healthy relationship after abuse? A conversation with my husband - plus the debut of 'Calm is Credible'

    Healthy relationships after family violence, and in the midst of post-separation abuse, are possible - but they are rarely talked about honestly in survivor spaces. In this special anniversary episode, Danielle Black is joined by her husband Drew for a candid conversation about what it actually looks like to build a safe, equal partnership after coercive control, trauma, and years of family court proceedings. This episode does not offer a fairy tale. It offers something more useful: evidence. Danielle and Drew explore: What it was like for a partner to step into a post-separation abuse situation they didn't fully understandThe reality of loving someone with C-PTSD and ongoing coercive controlWhat helplessness feels like for the supporting partner - and what actually helpedWhy healthy relationships after abuse require both people to do their own workWhat equal, non-performative partnership looks like in daily family lifeRaising sons and daughters while actively dismantling gender stereotypes at homeWhy "not all me" can be said from a place of hope rather than minimisationThis episode also marks the debut of Calm is Credible - the first brand anthem created for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching - releasing today for the first time. If you have wondered whether safety and love are still possible after surviving family violence, coercive control, or post-separation abuse, this episode is for you. If you are the partner of a survivor who doesn't know how to help, this episode is also for you. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    43 min

  6. MAR 18

    96. Family reports are not the verdict: What protective parents must know

    Family Reports can be influential pieces of evidence in Australian family court proceedings - but they are widely misunderstood. In this episode, Danielle Black explains what Family Report Writers are actually assessing, why protective parents can be misread and mischaracterised, and how nervous system responses to trauma can impact presentation in interviews. Drawing on lived experience and years of supporting parents through the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, Danielle explores: • What a Family Report is - and what it is not • The training gaps that can affect coercive-control cases • The core parenting qualities report writers assess • How trauma and threat responses affect communication • Common credibility mistakes parents make without realising • Why a Family Report is not the final word in court • How legal professionals may treat reports as a “fait accompli” • What protective parents can do strategically if recommendations are unfavourable This episode accompanies the Preparing for Your Family Report Assessment guide inside the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™. If you are facing a Family Report interview - or have already received a report that does not reflect your lived reality - this episode will help you understand the system, prepare strategically, and make informed decisions about next steps. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    39 min

  7. MAR 11

    95. The collaboration question: When it works, and when it doesn't

    Collaboration is often presented as the gold standard after separation. Parents are encouraged to communicate openly, compromise, and "work together". In the right circumstances, a collaborative approach can indeed produce faster, less adversarial, and more sustainable outcomes. But what happens when the conditions for genuine collaboration don’t exist? In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, Danielle Black explores the realities behind collaborative approaches, including mediation, and family dispute resolution in the Australian family law system. Drawing on research into post-separation conflict and child wellbeing, she explains why collaboration is not always the safest or most appropriate pathway for families navigating high-conflict dynamics. You’ll learn: What research actually says children need after parental separationWhen collaborative processes like mediation or FDR can work wellThe four conditions required for genuine collaborationHow collaborative processes can be misused in high-conflict separationsWhy pressure to "just co-parent better" can place vulnerable parents at greater riskHow to assess whether collaboration is truly viable in your situationFor some families, collaboration creates stability and reduces conflict. For others - particularly where coercive control, manipulation, or power imbalances are present - it can become another arena where harmful dynamics continue. Understanding the difference is one of the most important decisions a parent can make when navigating separation. This episode offers a clear framework to help parents assess their situation honestly and choose a path that protects both themselves and their children. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    35 min

  8. MAR 7

    94. The invisible architecture of childhood: What primary caregivers carry - and why it matters

    International Women’s Day bonus episode In this special episode, Danielle Black explores something rarely named in conversations about parenting after separation: the invisible architecture of childhood. The planning. The anticipating. The emotional holding. The daily mental load of raising children that rarely appears in legal documents, mediation rooms, or parenting orders. Across decades of research, we know that primary caregivers - most often mothers - carry the majority of this invisible labour. Yet when families separate, the systems designed to determine parenting arrangements often struggle to see it. In this episode, Danielle explores: • The invisible labour that holds children’s lives together • Why the "proximity illusion" can make non-primary caregivers appear equally involved • What the research actually says about caregiving and unpaid labour • Why 'equal parenting time' is NOT the same as 'equal parenting' • How post-separation economic abuse often shows up through child-related costs • The emotional reality of being the parent who provides the secure base children return to This episode is for women at every stage of the journey: those still in difficult relationships, those navigating separation, those in family court proceedings, those with final orders who are still managing chaos, and those carrying the grief of children being turned against them. On International Women’s Day, this conversation honours the work that primary caregivers do every day - even when the world fails to see it. Because the invisible architecture of childhood may be unseen by systems, but it is never invisible to the children living inside it. As always, this episode is not legal advice and not therapy. Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1 AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle 1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen and download this track via the Danielle Black Coaching website, in our 'free resources' area. About Danielle Black Coaching: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems. Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

    42 min
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About

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast Hosted by Danielle Black A no-fluff, evidence-based podcast for parents navigating post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, and high-conflict separation and divorce - with a relentless focus on protecting children in a system that too often fails them. Hosted by Danielle Black, Australia’s leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, this podcast is not about "amicable co-parenting at all costs", outdated ideologies, or adult notions of fairness. It is about understanding how abuse frequently continues through parenting arrangements after separation - and what genuinely child-centred decision-making looks like when risk, fear, or power imbalance is present. Each episode challenges the myths that place children in harm’s way, including Australia’s dangerous obsession with 50/50 shared care, the misapplication of "friendly parent" ideals, and the expectation that protective parents should endlessly compromise to keep the peace. Drawing on developmental science, research-based evidence, trauma-informed practice, and lived experience, Danielle breaks down: How post-separation abuse actually operatesWhy many standard parenting frameworks fail children in high-conflict casesWhat evidence-based, defensible, child-focused parenting really requiresHow to move from confusion and self-doubt to clarity and confidence This podcast is for parents who are done minimising risk, done being gaslit by systems and professionals, and done prioritising adult comfort over children’s safety and development. Expect direct language, research-backed insight, practical guidance and a few cuss words here and there - not platitudes, false balance, or pressure to accept arrangements that don’t sit right - because children’s wellbeing matters more than adult fairness. Always. To go deeper, explore The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, Danielle’s flagship program supporting parents to make informed, protective decisions after separation. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au Keywords: post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, high-conflict parenting, separation, divorce, family court, Australian family law.

Information

  • Creator
    Danielle Black
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    103
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
  • Show Website
    The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

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