Divorce Dialogues Katherine Miller

In the early days of her family law practice, Heather Quick noticed a troubling pattern among the women she represented.

Women often undervalued what they brought to the marriage and failed to stand up for themselves in the divorce process.

So, what can women do to change their mindset around divorce and fight for what they deserve?

Heather Quick is Founder and CEO of Florida Women’s Law Group, the only divorce and family law firm in Northeast Florida that serves women exclusively.

Consistent with her message of women's empowerment, Heather has published several books on divorce and business, including Women’s Guide to Divorce in Florida and Women’s Guide to Becoming a Successful Entrepreneur.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Heather joins Katherine to discuss the unique challenges facing women in divorce, from stay-at-home moms to female breadwinners.

Heather explains how women compromise on finances to protect their children and why that’s a bad idea, challenging couples to stop using their children as a negotiating tool in divorce.

Listen in to understand how entrepreneurship can help women own their financial destiny and learn how FWLG advocates for women before, during and after divorce.

Topics Covered

What inspired Heather to focus on helping women stand up for themselves in divorce
Why women tend to undervalue what they bring to a marriage
What issues affect women in particular during the divorce process
How women compromise on finances in divorce to protect their children (and why they shouldn’t)
The danger in using your children as a negotiating tool in divorce
Common issues facing female breadwinners in divorce, e.g.: custody, alimony, etc.
How Heather’s books educate and empower women before, during and after divorce
Heather’s experience working with a team of all women at Florida Women’s Law Group
How Heather benefits from having a divorce coach on her team
What motivated Heather to expand her focus to helping women excel as entrepreneurs

Connect with Heather Quick

Florida Women’s Law Group: https://www.floridawomenslawgroup.com/
Women Winning Divorce Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/685277376560289
Women Winning Divorce Podcast: https://womenwinningdivorce.com/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Email: katherine@miller-law.com 
Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Women’s Guide to Divorce in Florida by Heather Brooke Quick, Esq.: https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Guide-Divorce-Florida-Advantage/dp/150323326X
Is Divorce Right for You? by Heather B. Quick, Esq.: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Right-You-Guide-Determine-ebook/dp/B00NH2QK1G/
Women’s Guide to Becoming a Successful Entrepreneur by Heather B. Quick, Esq.: https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Guide-Becoming-Successful-Entrepreneur/dp/1511734655/
Julie Rountree on Divorce Dialogues: https://miller-law.com/podcast/the-missing-professional-from-a-divorce-litigation-team/
Changes to Florida’s Divorce Law: https://www.attorneylauraolson.com/an-overview-of-floridas-new-alimony-law-elimination-of-permanent-alimony/

If you’re going through a divorce, writing a love letter is probably the last thing on your mind.

But Jennifer Lee, AWMA, AIF, suggests that sharing your values and hopes for the future in a family love letter to your children is a good first step for financial planning in divorce.

So, how does a love letter help you set meaningful financial goals and make better money decisions?

Jennifer is the founder of Modern Wealth, a Sarasota-based financial firm with a focus on helping individuals in transition, and author of Squeeze the Juice: Live with Purpose, Then Leave a Legacy.

Jennifer brings a fresh perspective on the financial planning process by digging deep to understand her clients’ values and helping them use money as a tool to accomplish their dreams.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Jennifer joins Katherine to share the personal experience that inspired her idea for a family love letter in the financial planning process.

Jennifer explains why financial anxiety is such a common issue in the divorce process and challenges us to see money as a tool to reach our goals—not the goal itself.

Listen in to understand how Jennifer supports the ‘non-moneyed’ spouse in settlement negotiations and learn how Squeeze the Juice can help you make informed financial decisions in divorce.

Topics Covered

Why Jennifer includes writing a family love letter in the financial planning process
Thinking of money as a tool to accomplish our dreams vs. the goal itself
What drove Jennifer’s father to communicate his values in a kind of family love letter
Why anxiety around money is such a common issue in the divorce process
How Jennifer helps the non-moneyed spouse in a divorce make financial decisions
The danger in rushing through divorce negotiations because you want it to be done
What experiences inspired Jennifer to write her book, Squeeze the Juice
How your money story impacts the way you navigate financial decisions
The 2 most important chapters in Squeeze the Juice for people going through divorce
What it means to be the non-moneyed spouse in divorce (and what it doesn’t mean)
Why there’s a power imbalance in divorce negotiations for the non-moneyed spouse

Connect with Jennifer Lee

Modern Wealth: https://modern-wealth.com/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Email: katherine@miller-law.com 
Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Squeeze the Juice by Jennifer Lee: https://squeezethejuicebook.com/

Asking your partner for a divorce is challenging under any circumstances. But the conversation can be downright dangerous if you’re leaving an abusive spouse.

In fact, upwards of 70% of women who leave an abusive spouse are murdered.

So, what resources are available to victims of intimate partner violence? How do you mitigate the risks associated with divorcing an abuser?

Beverly Price is the driving force behind Her Empowered Divorce, a coaching practice that has supported thousands of women facing the most challenging aspects of divorce.

Beverly is also the visionary behind the Divorce Coalition, a network of divorce professionals and survivor advocates united to transform the landscape of domestic abuse.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Beverly joins Katherine to explore the impact of domestic abuse in divorce and explain why you shouldn’t leave an abuser without a safety plan.

Beverly discusses the benefit of having a divorce coach, describing how she offers clients education and preparation around the process to reduce their anxiety.

Listen in for Beverly’s insight into the many forms of abuse and learn how survivors of domestic partner violence can work through the divorce process safely and with adequate support.

Topics Covered

The benefit of divorce coaching that goes beyond emotional management
How education and preparation for divorce reduces the anxiety associated with the process
Why Beverly suggests hiring an attorney, financial professional and divorce coach
How Beverly’s personal experiences inform her work as a divorce coach
Divorce Coalition’s work to improve abuse survivors’ experiences in the court process
The many forms of domestic abuse, i.e.: physical, financial, sexual, legal, emotional, etc.
Why you shouldn’t leave an abuser until you have support and a safety plan
How Beverly coaches people through the conversation of asking for a divorce
The statistics re: the number of men and women who experience intimate partner violence
Beverly’s advice on documenting abuse to prepare for divorce litigation

Connect with Beverly Price

Her Empowered Divorce: https://herempowereddivorce.com/
Her Empowered Divorce Podcast: https://herempowereddivorce.com/podcast

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Email: katherine@miller-law.com 
Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/

Is your relationship causing you a great deal of stress? Do you suspect that your partner has a diagnosable mental illness?

In such a challenging situation, it’s human nature to blame the other person in the relationship. To label their behavior as wrong and ask, ‘Why won’t they change?’

But if their mental health is in question, they may not be able to change. And the better question is, ‘What is YOUR next right step?’

Judy Herman is a mental health professional and relationship wellness advocate dedicated to equipping high-achieving women in the helping professions go from trauma drama into vibrant karma.

Judy is also the host of Better Relationships, Better Life: The Podcast and author of Beyond Messy Relationships and Relationships with Purpose.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Judy joins Katherine to explain how her personal experience as a twice-divorced relationship therapist inspired her to write Relationships with Purpose.

Judy discusses what differentiates someone with self-centered characteristics from a diagnosable narcissist and shares questions to ask yourself if you’re married to someone with mental illness.

Listen in for Judy’s insight on shifting your attitude toward your partner from judgement to curiosity and learn strategies for staying grounded during challenging interactions in any relationship.

Topics Covered

How Judy’s own challenging relationships inspired her to write her first book
The identity crisis Judy faced as a twice-divorced relationship therapist
What differentiates someone with self-centered characteristics from a diagnosable narcissist
What questions to ask yourself if you’re married to someone with mental illness
How to shift your attitude toward your partner from judgement to curiosity
Judy’s strategies for staying grounded in challenging interactions with your partner
Why Judy suggests getting professional help if you’re feeling shame around your relationship
Judy’s deep breathing exercises for navigating intense interpersonal situations

Connect with Judy Herman

Judy’s Website: https://www.judycounselor.com/
Better Relationships, Better Life: The Podcast: https://www.judycounselor.com/podcast/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Email: katherine@miller-law.com 
Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Beyond Messy Relationships by Judy K. Herman: https://www.judycounselor.com/product/premier-author-signed-single-book/
Relationships with Purpose by Judy K. Herman: https://www.judycounselor.com/relationships-with-purpose/
Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/
My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward by Mark Lukach: https://www.marklukach.com/book
Judy’s Relationship Stress Quiz: https://www.judycounselor.com/
Judy’s From Chaos to Calm Online Course: https://www.judycounselor.com/jumpstart-emotionally-safe-conversations/

If you aren’t fully informed about your finances in marriage, you can’t negotiate from a level playing field in divorce.

That’s why Adrienne Grace is committed to helping women with what she calls holistic financial planning.

So, what is holistic financial planning? How can it help you negotiate a realistic divorce settlement and build a plan for the future?

Adrienne is the Women’s Wealth Advocate and Holistic Financial Planner behind Transitioning Finances, a platform where she guides women and couples to successfully negotiate divorce settlements, survive financial transitions and rebuild afterward.

Adrienne has 30-plus years of experience working in every area of the financial world, and she is passionate about helping you overcome your financial challenges and move empowered into the next phase of your life.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Adrienne joins Katherine to discuss why the inability to communicate about money is often the cause of divorce.

Adrienne explains how she helps people understand the relative value of their assets and empowers them with the confidence to negotiate a divorce settlement.

Listen in for Adrienne’s advice on ‘talking to your honey about money’ early in the relationship and learn how to design a holistic spending and savings plan to ensure your financial security in divorce.

Topics Covered

The personal experiences that led to Adrienne’s work helping people through transitions
How Adrienne defines holistic financial planning as looking at money as it relates to your life
Why the inability to communicate about money is often the cause of divorce
Adrienne’s advice around talking to your honey about money before you get married
Why Adrienne suggests setting aside private time to talk with your partner about money
How women who are not fully informed about their finances struggle to negotiate a divorce settlement
How Adrienne helps people understand the relative value of their assets
Why it’s crucial to design a spending + savings plan with a realist view of what it costs to live
How Adrienne empowers people with the confidence to negotiate their divorce settlement
Adrienne’s experiences helping people find hidden assets in the divorce process

Connect with Adrienne Grace

Transitioning Finances: https://adriennegrace.com/
Adrienne on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenswealthadvocate/
Adrienne on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adrienne-rothstein-grace-cdfa/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Email: katherine@miller-law.com 
Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

From We to Me: A Financial Guide to Divorce by Adrienne Grace: https://adriennegrace.com/adriennes-books/
I’m Divorced. Now What? by Adrienne Grace: https://www.amazon.com/Im-Divorced-Now-What-Guide/dp/B0C6W6HX5Y
Adrienne’s Blog on Talking to Your Honey About Money: https://adriennegrace.com/remarriage-living-together-second-time-around/
Adrienne’s Divorce Academy Online Course:https://adriennegrace.com/classes_and_courses/

What do you need to know about filing your taxes during or after divorce?

Are asset transfers taxable? What about alimony and child support? Who claims the children?

And what if your ex mishandled the finances and there’s tax debt you knew nothing about?

Tax Attorney Hubert Johnson is Founder of Guardian Tax Law, where he has assisted thousands of individuals and businesses dealing with IRS and state tax issues.

Hubert lectures to tax professionals in seminars and training sessions across the country and has cowritten two books on tax debt resolution.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Hubert joins Katherine to answer your questions around tax issues in divorce, explaining where to go for tax information if your soon-to-be-ex handled the finances.

Hubert walks us through the pros and cons of delaying divorce to file taxes jointly and discusses when asset transfers are a taxable event—and when they’re not.

Listen in for Hubert’s insight on the tax rules around alimony and child support and learn where to go for help settling tax debt in the aftermath of divorce.

Topics Covered

The pros and cons of delaying divorce to file your taxes jointly
Where to go for tax information if your ex-spouse handled the finances
How to qualify as an ‘innocent spouse’ if your partner fails to pay taxes
Why the IRS pursues both parties equally for tax debt (filing jointly)
When asset transfers are a taxable event and when they’re not
How to avoid capital gains on the sale of an asset in divorce
When the IRS respects a marital settlement agreement
Who should consider applying for ‘offer in compromise’ with the IRS
The state and federal tax rules re: alimony and child support
What to do if your ex claims the children on their taxes but shouldn’t

Connect with Hubert Johnson

Guardian Tax Law: https://guardiantaxlaw.com/
Guardian on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@guardiantaxlaw
Guardian on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/guardian-tax-law/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Email: katherine@miller-law.com 
Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

IRS.gov