Grief Out Loud

The Dougy Center
  • 4.4 (36)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Remember the last time you tried to talk about grief and suddenly everyone left the room? Grief Out Loud is opening up this often avoided conversation because grief is hard enough without having to go through it alone. We bring you a mix of personal stories, tips for supporting children, teens, and yourself, and interviews with bereavement professionals. Platitude and cliché-free, we promise! Grief Out Loud is hosted by Jana DeCristofaro and produced by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families in Portland, Oregon.

  1. The Million Stages Of Grief - Michael Reed On Finding His Way After Catastrophic Loss

    MAR 5

    The Million Stages Of Grief - Michael Reed On Finding His Way After Catastrophic Loss

    What does grief look like when you lose your wife, two daughters, your home, and nearly everything you own - all in a single night? In this episode we talk with Michael Reed, a husband, father, and author whose life was forever changed when a wildfire swept through his community, taking the lives of his wife Constance, his older daughter Chloe, his youngest, Lily, their pets, and reducing their home to ashes. Nearly a decade later, Michael shares about the darkness he fell into, who was there to hold him and his son up, the ways he stays connected to his wife and daughters, and how he's re-engaged with life through writing and helping others.   Michael Reed is the author of The Million Stages of Grief, a self-published book born from years of middle-of-the-night writing as he tried to make sense of catastrophic loss. He also became an unexpected public face of his community's tragedy - a role he has since transformed into a mission of talking openly about grief, faith, and learning to live again.  In this episode: Michael shares vivid memories of his daughters: Chloe's extraordinary compassion and Lily's unforgettable sass and spirit.  What it's like to lose not only the people you love but every physical trace of them - and how Michael keeps their memory close without tangible reminders.  How his son Nicholas became a teacher for Michael in how to grieve.   His experience with EMDR therapy and what acceptance means to him.   The origin of The Million Stages of Grief: how raw, unedited Facebook posts led to a blog, then to a self-published book.  Why the five stages of grief didn't work for Michael - and how he came to understand that grief can move through a million stages in a single day.  A raw, honest account of his anger at God after the fire.  What it was like to become the unwilling public spokesperson for a community's tragedy, and how he has reclaimed that platform on his own terms.  His core message: loss is loss, no matter who or what you've lost — and using your own hurt to help others is how we change the world.  Connect with Michael:  Website - https://themillionstages.com/  Books - https://themillionstages.com/books  IG - https://www.instagram.com/reedstrong2020  Transcript Want to learn more about supporting children and teens who are grieving? Sign up for our online courses here: https://classes.dougy.org/

    41 min
  2. Tending To The Roots Of Ritual With Joél Simone, The Grave Woman

    FEB 20

    Tending To The Roots Of Ritual With Joél Simone, The Grave Woman

    In this episode of Grief Out Loud, we talk with death & grief care professional, educator, and cultural advocate Joél Simone, also known as The Grave Woman.  Joél shares the story behind a childhood drawing that declared her future as "the grave woman," and how that early curiosity about death grew into a lifelong vocation in funeral service, grief education, and cultural competency. Drawing from decades of experience, Joél reflects on the spiritual, cultural, and embodied dimensions of grief, including what she's learned by listening closely to families, children, and traditions that are too often overlooked.   Joél also talks about her work as founder of the Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy, including immersive learning experiences that center history, ritual, land, and lineage. Throughout the conversation, she invites us to rethink what ritual looks like and how tending to culture can provide grounding and support for grief.  We discuss: How rituals - inherited and improvised - can be a form of medicine  What the funeral industry still needs to understand about serving Black and African American families  The importance of cultural humility, proactive learning, and not treating communities as monoliths  How children experience death and mourning from their literal, physical perspective and what adults often miss  The role of land, ancestry, and cultural preservation in grief, particularly within Gullah Geechee communities  Why culture itself can be a powerful container for grief and remembrance  Connect with Joél Simone: Website: www.thegravewoman.com The Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy Workshops & Classes The Death & Grief Talk Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/thegravewoman Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegravewoman/

    42 min
  3. Restrung: Music, Grief, And Fatherhood With Matt Fogelson

    FEB 13

    Restrung: Music, Grief, And Fatherhood With Matt Fogelson

    When Matt Fogelson's father died of lung cancer during his senior year of college, he turned to music to express what words couldn't - rage, self-loathing, and grief so profound he didn't know where to put it.  In this conversation, Matt - author of the new memoir Restrung - talks about the silence that surrounded his father's terminal illness, the vacuum left by an absent but beloved parent, and how grunge music (especially Soundgarden and Pearl Jam) created space for him to feel what was hard to put into words.  Matt shares how his Aunt Wendy became his unlikely guide, why he wore his father's suits to work for years trying to feel close to him, and the breakthrough moment when Pearl Jam's "Release" helped him shift his relationship with his father's memory and his grief.  We also discuss how grief shaped his approach to parenting, why he sang a Grateful Dead song to his son every night for 14 years, and the three songs he wishes he could share with his father now.  Resources Matt's memoir Restrung (released February 3, 2026)  Matt's Substack and music blog (Fine Tuning)  More at dougy.org  Grief Out Loud is a production of Dougy Center, the National Grief Center for Children and Families.

    44 min
  4. When Grief and Trauma Collide – Christina Babich, MA

    FEB 3

    When Grief and Trauma Collide – Christina Babich, MA

    When Christina Babich's partner, Alex, died suddenly from a brain aneurysm while they were visiting his family in Italy, her world shattered in more ways than one. In addition to the grief of losing the person she loved and the future they were building together, Christina was also left to navigate the aftermath of a deeply traumatic event - one that profoundly impacted her nervous system, sense of safety, and identity.  In this episode, Christina shares what it was like to grieve a sudden, "out-of-order" death while also navigating the derealization, hypervigilance, and other ways the trauma of his death affected her. She talks about how being a "quasi widow" shaped the care and recognition she received and why platitudes about resilience and post-traumatic growth can sometimes feel alienating rather than supportive.  Christina also reflects on how her personal experience shaped her work as a psychologist specializing in grief and trauma, including the role of Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), the pressure placed on people who are grieving to "transform" their pain, and the importance of being witnessed by someone who truly understands.  We discuss The difference between grief and trauma - and how they often coexist Derealization, PTSD, and nervous system responses after a sudden death What Christina means by "quasi-widow"  Why platitudes about strength and growth can feel harmful How Cognitive Processing Therapy was helpful for her Grieving lost identities, futures, and imagined lives  Finding connection with others who can relate  Living day-to-day when the future feels overwhelming  Connect with Christina  Website: https://www.christinababich.com/  Substack: christinababich.substack.com

    51 min
  5. Echoes Of Her - Adell Coleman On Grieving Her Mother & Finding Community

    JAN 26

    Echoes Of Her - Adell Coleman On Grieving Her Mother & Finding Community

    In this episode of Grief Out Loud, we talk with Adell Coleman about her mother who was killed when Adell was just 24 years old. Adell reflects on the closeness of their relationship and how her mom's death radically shifted her sense of safety in the world. She shares how the circumstances around her mother's death, including being the person who found her, has made it difficult to remember how her mom lived, without reliving how she died.  Adell also talks about what it's been like raising two daughters who never met their grandmother, but somehow carry her presence in surprising and meaningful ways. She reflects on anniversaries 14 years later, the exhaustion of grief, and how becoming the family "grief expert" interrupted her capacity to engage with her own grief.  The conversation closes with Adell describing how community, therapy, boundaries, and creative work - including her documentary and podcast, Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love - have helped her find language, connection, and space for her grief.   We discuss Losing a mother in young adulthood and feeling "not ready" to be an adult How violent death and trauma impact grief and memory  The challenge of accessing good memories when you are dealing with traumatic imagery  Parenting while grieving and helping children connect with a grandparent they never met  Anniversaries, emotional exhaustion, and grief over time  Becoming the family "grief expert" and having to put off personal grief  Finding community after loss and why the right support can take time  Creating meaning through storytelling, connection, and creative projects Adell's documentary and her new podcast, Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love  Connect with Adell Instagram: @iamadellcoleman  Podcast: Echoes of Her Threads: @iamadellcoleman Documentary: Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love Substack: On My Momma

    41 min
  6. Why Grief Isn't A Journey (And What It Is Instead) - John Onwuchekwa

    JAN 8

    Why Grief Isn't A Journey (And What It Is Instead) - John Onwuchekwa

    What if grief isn't a journey for us to eventually finish, but more a language we become fluent in? In this first episode of 2026, we talk with writer, storyteller, and social entrepreneur, John Onwuchekwa, whose life was profoundly shaped by the death of his brother Sam in 2015. John shares how Sam's death altered not just his relationships and priorities, but his understanding of grief itself.  Rather than framing grief as a journey with an endpoint, John offers a different metaphor: grief as a language that we learn over time, one with past, present, and future tenses. He explores how grief comes through not just in our words, but our bodies, our reflexes, and our relationships, showing up in ways we often don't consciously choose.  We discuss: The limitations - and harm - of common grief metaphors The shifts in John's priorities and perspective that occurred after Sam died  How loneliness often sits at the center of grief  The ways grief can show up in our bodies, before our minds understand what's happening Holding grief and hope at the same time  Connect with John  Website: https://www.johno.co/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jawn_o/?hl=en  We Go On: https://www.andwegoon.com/  Blog: https://www.johno.blog/   Podcast: Four In The Morning https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...   Portrait Coffee: https://www.johno.co/ventures#portrait

    44 min
  7. Time Keeps Moving, But She Doesn't: Mackenzie Galloway-Cole On Grief And New Year's

    2025-12-22

    Time Keeps Moving, But She Doesn't: Mackenzie Galloway-Cole On Grief And New Year's

    In the fall of 2023, Mackenzie Galloway-Cole was living out her rom-com-worthy love story with her wife Megan in New York City. Then, on an ordinary night in November, Megan collapsed and died a few hours later from a sudden cardiac event. In the aftermath, Mackenzie had to find her way in this newly shattered world without Megan, her anchor and biggest cheerleader.  Mackenzie reflects on the shock of becoming a young widow, the added layers of grief that come with queer partner loss, and the painful realities of navigating death care systems that often default to heteronormative assumptions. Together, Jana and Mackenzie talk about the isolating nature of sudden and unexplained death, the importance of finding people who "get it," and the ways time itself becomes a particularly painful aspect of grief. Mackenzie also shares why New Year's can feel like a uniquely brutal grief milestone, how absence accumulates as life continues, and how Megan's love still shapes the way she takes care of herself today. This conversation holds space for heartbreak, dark humor, love stories, and the not-so-quiet ways grief rewires daily life - especially when the person you most want to turn to is the one who died. In this episode, we discuss: The story of how Megan and Mackenzie met and fell in love Sudden death and the trauma of an ordinary day turning catastrophic The intersection of being a young, gay widow Navigating hospitals, funeral homes, and death administration as a queer spouse Why the small, everyday moments can hurt more than the big ones How the second Christmas can feel even harder than the first New Year's as a "sneaky" grief holiday How the choices you make in life can reflect and honor your person who died Mackenzie Galloway-Cole writes about grief at Good Gay Grief on Substack and can also be found on Instagram at @deadwifeclub

    50 min
  8. Brennan Wood On How Grief Is To Feel, Not Fix - Even At The Holidays

    2025-12-11

    Brennan Wood On How Grief Is To Feel, Not Fix - Even At The Holidays

    It's our annual holiday episode, this time with Dougy Center Executive Director and TEDx speaker Brennan Wood. Brennan first encountered Dougy Center after her mom, Doris, died of breast cancer three days after Brennan's 12th birthday. She has since navigated almost four decades of holiday seasons with grief along for the ride. She shares about the early years that were awful; the young-adult years she spent volunteering away from family; and how, as an adult, she's learned to hold both grief and joy while creating new traditions for her own family. Whether this is your first or 41st holiday season with grief, this conversation offers validation, tangible suggestions, and new ways to think about this time of year.   We discuss:  How attending a peer grief support group as a teen introduced Brennan to the idea that grief is to feel, not fix. Accepting that not everything has to be bright and shiny, especially during the holidays.   Recalling the first Christmas after her mom died and why it felt awful.  New traditions she's created as an adult with her own family.  Grounding rituals Brennan uses, especially during the holidays.   Why it's okay to be mad at holiday traditions you used to love.  Need additional tips and suggestions for this time of year? Check out our past episodes and our Holiday Grief Tip Sheet & Worksheet  It's Okay That It's Not the Same: Grief at the Holidays  It Can Be So Awkward: Holidays & Grief  The Not- Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Holidays & Grief  Grief And The Holidays   Under Pressure – Grief & December Holidays  Watch Brennan's TEDxPortland Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN4zP5baJrg Read her A Kid's Book About Grief - https://dougybookstore.org/products/a-kids-book-about-grief Learn more about Brennan - https://www.dougy.org/about/team-dougy/executive-director

    44 min
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4.4
out of 5
36 Ratings

About

Remember the last time you tried to talk about grief and suddenly everyone left the room? Grief Out Loud is opening up this often avoided conversation because grief is hard enough without having to go through it alone. We bring you a mix of personal stories, tips for supporting children, teens, and yourself, and interviews with bereavement professionals. Platitude and cliché-free, we promise! Grief Out Loud is hosted by Jana DeCristofaro and produced by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families in Portland, Oregon.

Information

  • Creator
    The Dougy Center
  • Years Active
    2015 - 2026
  • Episodes
    350
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    Grief Out Loud

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