Mindfulness Mode Bruce Langford

Atomic Habits For Transformation – the topic of today’s episode. I’ve decided to share with you thoughts and ideas from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. The subtitle is, An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. This book has been recommended by dozens of guests who have been featured on Mindfulness Mode. Do you find yourself being challenged with unproductive habits? Do you set out to cultivate positive habits that promise to transform your life, only to find them slipping away? In Atomic Habits, James Clear illuminates the profound impact the right habits can have on your life. To truly harness this power, you need to delve into the mechanics of how habits work and how to reshape them. When you read this book, you’ll realize that James deeply understands habits and how they work.
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Website: www.MindfulnessMode.com
Atomic Habits, the book, will help you uncover the critical importance of habits and the three mindsets essential for cultivating them. You'll also learn about the formation of habits and the four crucial strategies for altering them. Moreover, you'll find strategies to refine and enhance the habits you've already established continuously. If you read this book, you’ll learn about insights from other psychologists and experts on habit formation, exploring how Clear’s ideas resonate with or differ from theirs.
 
Law 1 – Make It Obvious
To build and break habits effectively, awareness is crucial. Human minds respond to cues, leading to automatic behaviors. For example, museum curators can identify authentic art due to repeated exposure and subtle cues. Harness this by using habit scorecards, checklists of daily activities categorized as positive, negative, or neutral. This helps identify patterns that aid or hinder progress. By listing and rating your habits, you can understand how your behaviors impact productivity and become more aware of their triggers. This awareness is the first step to making your desired habits obvious and actionable.
Law 2 – Make It Attractive
In his second law, James Clear explains that habits operate on a dopamine-driven feedback loop, where increased dopamine levels enhance the urge to act due to reward anticipation. He suggests using temptation bundling, pairing a desired activity with a necessary one. For example, designate work blocks and reward yourself with a favorite podcast during breaks. Combine this with habit stacking for greater effect: after completing a current habit, follow with a necessary task, then a desired reward. Surround yourself with positive influences to boost motivation. To break bad habits, shift your mindset from “have to” to “get to,” associating difficult habits with positive experiences.
Law 3 – Make It Easy
“The most effective form of learning is practice, not planning.” Repeating a habit solidifies it in your brain, leading to physical changes and increased efficiency. Clear emphasizes that frequency matters more than duration in habit formation. Humans prefer the path of least effort, making environmental shifts crucial. For example, when introducing new software, ease the transition with training and support. The two-minute rule suggests starting new habits with tasks under two minutes, like reading a page daily. To break bad habits, make them impractical; use tools like app blockers to limit distractions. These strategies simplify habit formation and disruption.
Law 4 – Make It Satisfying
You are more likely to repeat a behavior if it is satisfying. Clear explains that humans prioritize immediate rewards over delayed ones. The key to behavior change is that “what is immediately rewarded is repeated; what is immediately punished is avoided.” To make habits stick, you must feel an immediate sense of success. Applying Clear’s laws—making habits obvious, appealing, and effortless—increases your

Danielle Lindner is an author who has released a new book revealing preschool parenting secrets. As a distinguished educator, she is renowned for her innovative contributions to early childhood education and literature. With a Master’s in Teaching and Elementary Education from Fairleigh Dickinson University, Danielle has over 18 years of experience in both public and private educational institutions. She founded the London Day School®, a leading preschool recognized for its innovation. Danielle's books, such as “Sofia the Snail,” “Arabelle,” and “Rupert,” feature enchanting characters and rhyming narratives that address everyday challenges faced by children. Her stories, inspired by real-life issues, provide valuable social lessons in an entertaining format. Danielle’s holistic approach to education emphasizes academic, social, and emotional development.  Her new book is entitled Parent's Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years: One Challenge at a Time






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Website: www.DanielleLindner.com
Book: Parent's Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years: One Challenge at a Time by Danielle Lindner
How Did You Get Started?
I always loved writing poetry. I actually did it. For my last three credits in college, I did an independent study on poetry, and I had to write 40 poems. And I just really enjoyed that. But I also really loved kids and working with kids.
When I started having my own kids, you know, they were always afraid of the dark, and I thought about how I could explain to them in a really simple, easy, and fun way that they're safe and that the things they're seeing are not scary.
So I wrote this poem, basically about Sophia, this little snail who's afraid to go into her shell because it's dark in there, so she doesn't want to go to sleep. Then, after I opened my preschool and realized that, wow, there are a lot of kids who are struggling with this, I thought, let me try and self-publish it and get a book and use it as part of a curriculum in our school.























What is Socratic Questioning?
















































I encourage kids to be divergent thinkers by asking questions without yes or no answers, opening their minds. For example, I might have a brown bag with a rubber band inside during circle time. I’ll ask the kids to suggest uses for the rubber band other than holding things together.
Their creative responses, like making a fishing line, are amazing. I then ask them to explain how they would do that, prompting deeper thinking.
This method helps develop their creative thinking and problem-solving skills. The best innovators think outside the box, so I love fostering this in young kids.




Bullying Story
I believe that bullies are often kids who don't feel good about themselves. Feeling good about yourself includes feeling comfortable in your own skin and being able to self-regulate and calm down.
If more schools practiced mindfulness from an early age through high school, kids would manage their feelings better, and much of the bullying would decrease.
My daughter attended a public high school before switching to a private one, where meditation and mindfulness were required courses. This changed the entire school day and improved conflict resolution skills.
We incorporate mindfulness into our preschool gym program starting at 18 months. Waiting until adulthood to discover mindfulness, as I did in my 40s, is a disservice. It should be part of the curriculum.





















Suggested Resources
Book: Parent's Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years: One Challenge at a Time by Danielle Lindner
App: Headspace
Related Episodes
Mindful School Leadership; Daniel Bauer
Learn Mindfulness From Children
Autism Wellbeing; Christian Yordanov
Offer From Bruce
Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you co

Marijke McCandless, author of the newly released book Naked In The Now, is a playfulness instigator and award-winning writer. She is recognized by prestigious outlets, including Spirituality and Health Magazine, Best Self, and Thrive Global. Through her dynamic online writing practice group, Write Now Mind, and a range of personal growth workshops, she empowers individuals to embrace the present moment with joy and authenticity. Her book, with the subtitle Juicy Practices for Getting Present, invites readers on an inner striptease journey towards self-discovery. With a passion for adventure, especially rock climbing, Marijke encourages others to step out of their comfort zones and live fully.






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Website: www.MarijkeMcCandless.com
Most Influential Person
Joel Morwood (author of the book called The Way of Selflessness)
Effect On Emotions
























Mindfulness taught me that emotions can be separated into physical sensations and stories. Once I was willing to focus on the physical sensations and allow the story to go away, I could transmute the experience of a very strong emotion into its native, more pure energy.
So, for instance, more anger is actually a form of clarity, but we experience it as anger, and it's an afflicted emotion. So I would say coming back into the body and learning to uncouple the story that I had told.
Like, you know, the typical thing, a racing heart, maybe means I'm scared, or maybe it means I'm excited. So, I'm really uncoupling the physical sensations from the stories.

Thoughts On Breathing












































After 30 years of coaching, I now love breathing meditation. It took me a long time to get there. I always slightly controlled my breath. One of the tricks I used to begin uncoupling the technique was secretly matching my breath to my husband's.
I didn't know what the rhythm of my breathing would be, so I had to pay close attention to another person's breath.
Also, I have done this with a pet. It taught me not to be in control of my breath. Then I started doing breathing meditation as if I were that other person. I had to completely follow the breath, and I couldn't be even a tiny bit ahead of it.
Bullying Story
I wasn't bullied myself, but I experienced childhood abuse at a very young age. My journey of healing has been alongside my husband, who was bullied. He often says that mindfulness saved his life.
Bullying can be an isolated incident, a weekly occurrence, or even a daily ordeal. The real challenge lies in how we internalize it—sometimes we take on inappropriate shame or hatred for the bully.
We often replay these painful stories in our minds.
While society must address bullying, it's also crucial for individuals to move beyond the victim identity. Focusing our thoughts and attention away from the negative energy—whether self-hate or hatred for others—can be liberating.
My husband, bullied for years, began to hate others and himself. Mindfulness taught him to sit with his feelings, no matter how difficult, and find peace in the present moment.
This practice helped him recognize that he also experienced love and kindness.
By bringing his attention back to the present, he could accept his past and choose to grow from it rather than remain trapped in a victim identity.





















Suggested Resources
Book: There Is Nothing Wrong With You: Going Beyond Self-Hate by Cheri Huber
Book: The Direct Way: Thirty Practices to Evoke Awakening by Adyashanti
Book: The Way of Selflessness: A Practical Guide to Enlightenment Based on the Teachings of the World's Great Mystics by Joel Morwood
Book: The Way of Liberation: A Practical Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Adyashanti
App: Insight Timer
App: Project Joy by Sheri Huber
Related Episodes
Improve Your Sex Life With Meditation; Dr. Cheryl Fraser
Sex and Consciousness; Heather Shannon

Joel Bouchard will discuss the topic of getting in the flow with me today. Joel Bouchard is a doctoral student in psychology at Liberty University in Virginia, a multi-instrumentalist record producer, author, painter, Army veteran, business leader, local government official, and host of the philosophy podcast From Nowhere to Nothing. His podcast explores complex themes such as the messy, misapplied, and contradictive nature of tribalism, commitment as a concept through ontological and ethical paradigms, and the life-encompassing yet nuanced concept of work.Joel’s diverse background includes discussions on shadow from the perspectives of physics, mythology, psychology, and cultural tradition, as well as debates on substantivalism and relationalism in defining locations. His intellectual curiosity extends to examining Donald Hoffman's ideas on reality and consciousness from “The Case Against Reality,” and exploring metaphysical, epistemological, and ontological aspects of consciousness through documentary scenes. Joel also engages in abstract discussions on the ontological impact of the present and delves into the past from both metaphysical and historical perspectives. His multifaceted experiences and deep philosophical inquiries make him a dynamic and insightful voice in contemporary philosophical discourse.






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Website: https://jbouchard.podbean.com/
Most Influential Person
My mom
Effect On Emotions
























I would say that I've become better at expressing my emotions. My friends refer to me as the robot because I generally tend to be pretty unemotional. And, you know, that's good. It's good to be even-keeled, but it can also be negative if you freeze or shut down when in negative circumstances.
So, the biggest impact for me is that it's helped me express happiness and joy and also to be able to identify with emotions without getting caught up in them without being angry.
I can identify that this is an angry emotion and a justified emotion. Then I can decide how I should act with this information.

Thoughts On Breathing












































As someone who's pretty new to meditation, breathing is something that I still struggle with a little bit. They tell you that you're not supposed to breathe loud, but I always find myself breathing loud because I'm using that to focus my attention.
In Zen meditation, this is a subject of controversy. Some Zen masters say you can count your breaths, while others say don't.
So I mix the two. You know, for the first 10, I count the in-breath and the out-breath, one, two, and then for the next 10, I only count the out-breath. So in one in two, then after that, I go to not counting.
But I find myself still breathing very deeply. I think it helps with relaxation and focus. Sometimes, it can steal attention away from the internal focus on what's happening in the mind.
Bullying Story
I believe bullying is a problem rooted in a lack of mindfulness on the bully’s part. I have a story about being mindful from the other side.
During my time in the army, we had an exercise in basic training where we used pugil sticks, like on American Gladiators, to fight each other. The drill sergeant insisted everyone participate, but I didn't volunteer because I didn't want to fight.
At the end, the drill sergeant singled me out to fight the biggest guy, nicknamed the Widowmaker, who was six foot five and 280 pounds.
Though I didn’t want to fight, I had been mindful and observed the fights closely. When it was my turn, I pretended to cower, turned to the side, and ducked down. As he came close, I jammed the end of my stick into his helmet, causing him to fall.
I won the fight. This experience taught me that mindfulness can help you navigate difficult situations, even when facing a bigger, more imposing opponent.





















Suggested Resources
Book: Th

Elaine Lin Hering is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully. A facilitator, author, and speaker, Elaine helps organizations and individuals develop communication, collaboration, and conflict management skills. Her global experience spans six continents, and she has facilitated executive education at prestigious institutions such as Harvard, Dartmouth, Tufts, UC Berkeley, and UCLA. Formerly the Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program and a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, Elaine has worked with diverse groups, from BHP Billiton coal miners to senior leaders at the US Department of Commerce. Her clients include American Express, Chevron, Google, Nike, Novartis, PayPal, Pixar, and the Red Cross. Her upcoming book is set for release by Penguin in 2024.[show-notes-bio]






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Contact Info
Website: www.ElaineLinHering.com[show-notes-contact]
Most Influential Person
Sora Kim (Mindfulness Coach)
[show-notes-influence]
Effect On Emotions
























I learned a very expensive lesson at Harvard Law School: Emotions are valid. I did not know this from my family of origin.
Mindfulness is the awareness of how I am feeling. What emotions are coming up? Can I give them names? Can I label them? Can I interact with them?
But any of that action first requires awareness.
[show-notes-emotions]

Thoughts On Breathing












































We should breathe regularly. Yeah. And deeply. And intentionally, right, the breathing exercises I've learned from my own therapist have helped me. It's nothing novel; four counts in, four counts out. As a singer, we always talked about breathing from the diaphragm rather than the shallow breath. And that's really similar to mindfulness breathing exercises.
Again, the question to me is, why don't we do this more often, even if we know it is good for us? Even if we have experienced the positive impacts of the habit of breathing right, according to the pace around us.
And that's the opportunity for each of us to choose.
Bullying Story
As a parent, I've had conversations about whether my kindergartener is being bullied or is the bully. Bullying is all about impact, regardless of intention. Take the kid who took a pencil to my son's head; the narrative was he wanted to play but didn't know how to approach safely.
Bullying fascinates me because it's a disconnect between intention and impact. We often focus on our good intentions, saying, "That's not what I meant." But that doesn't absolve the negative impact or damage done to the recipient.
Mindfulness, to me, is aligning good intentions with awareness of their impact on others. Are you receptive to feedback, whether it’s someone saying "I'm hurt" or being silent? How do you reconcile your intentions with the actual impact? This intentionality is deeply interconnected with mindfulness.[show-notes-breathing]





















Suggested Resources
Book: Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully
Book: Micro Activism: How You Can Make a Difference in the World without a Bullhorn by Omkari L. Williams and Layla F. Saad
App: The note-taking app on my phone[show-notes-resources]
Related Episodes
Nourishing Your Truth and Finding Your Voice; Shauna Reiter
Intuition, Spirituality, and Our Inner Voice; Mary Ann Bohrer
Exploring AI-Enhanced Storytelling; Richard Rosser
Offer From Bruce
Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with 'I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

Colin Sanburg helps business owners discover an effective financial playbook for change in their business. Colin is a multi-business owner and Founder of FinElevate, a strategic finance firm that transforms numbers into profitable insights rather than mere expense categorization. As CEO and owner of manufacturing, distribution, and service businesses, Colin developed a passion for simplifying small business finance and empowering fellow entrepreneurs to achieve their dreams. He launched several mastermind groups, dedicating countless hours to providing advice and support. Over time, Colin became the trusted advisor for financial strategy within his network.






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Website: www.finelevate.com
Most Influential Person
My CPA (A Mentor)
Effect On Emotions
























I can be an intense and critical person. The best thing about mindfulness, for me, is similar to when a speaker doesn't hear themselves say “um.” The first step is to hear yourself say it, so you can eventually remove it from your vocabulary.
Mindfulness works the same way with emotions. The first step is recognizing in the moment that you're being intense. Once you master that, you can hopefully catch it right before it happens.
The real breakthrough comes when you start to experience the emotion and recognize that it doesn't have to be that way. I'm not there all the time, but when I am, it changes my life.
I can decide not to get worked up, accept things as they are, and move on without wasting energy on it.

Thoughts On Breathing












































I don't know if you're familiar with it, but my favorite breathing technique is the four-sided box breathing. It might have been developed by the military or popularized through their use, but I find it really impactful.
When I go on stage, I feel this overwhelming burst of energy. If I don't express it physically, I can't calm down, which is strange because I'm an introvert and don't usually feel this way. It's the best way I can describe the nerves of getting up there.
What I found is that using the four-sided box breathing helps. You count a set number of seconds—four, three, five, whatever you're comfortable with—for each part of the breath. You take that time to inhale, hold the breath in, exhale, and then hold the breath out. If you take the same amount of time for each of those four sides and go through a number of cycles, it really helps.
It gets tough when you have to hold the breath with your lungs empty. If you can't do that, it's a sign you're breathing too shallow and not getting good enough breaths.
For me, it's both a diagnostic tool and a way to force myself to slow down and calm my breathing.
Bullying Story
The best example of bullying I've experienced is with a former business partner, a family member whose business I bought into and ultimately bought out. This happened later in my career when I had mindfulness, but I could have handled it better. It was a controlling situation. I ran the business for several years but wasn't the majority owner at the time.
Everyone knew it was time for me to buy the company, which both sides believed. However, there was this element of bullying because they knew how much I had invested in making the company successful and how much progress I'd made.
The approach was bizarre and unprofessional, with talks about me buying the company but them still controlling it.
Mindfulness has taught me a lot. Now, thanks to Chris Voss's book “Never Split the Difference,” I understand things better and don't get upset as easily.
The biggest shift would have been to anticipate such situations, not let them visibly upset me, and instead process, plan, and work my way out of it calmly.





















Suggested Resources
Book: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss
Book: The Obstacle