A Blessing in Divorce Elisabeth Joy

Grief after a divorce can be particularly intense and persistent, and many people find themselves stuck in their grief and ruminating on the past for several reasons.


Loss of Identity
Emotional Attachment
Unresolved Issues
Fear of the Future
Habitual Thinking Patterns
Societal and Cultural Influences

 

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE


The Healing Heart: https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching 
Download the free Separation Checklist with all the important first steps as you embark on this journey https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444 

Last week I talked about understanding and healing our pain story. This week I am talking about the inward journey mentioned last week. It’s a journey that is crucial to our healing and self-discovery journey available to us during and after a divorce.

Healing after a divorce is a deeply personal and multifaceted journey that involves emotional, mental, and sometimes physical and spiritual practices. Here are several strategies and practices to help you turn inward and find healing:

Emotional healing and mental/cognitive healing are closely related but distinct aspects of overall psychological well-being. Understanding the differences between the two can help in addressing each area more effectively.

Emotional healing deals with processing and releasing emotional pain, while mental/cognitive healing focuses on reshaping thought patterns and improving mental clarity. Both are essential for overall psychological well-being, and integrating practices from both areas can lead to more effective and holistic healing.

 

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE


Sign up to be the first to know about the August 1st re-launch of the Rising Free divorce support community happening this summer www.theseparationclub.com/rfwaitlist
The Healing Heart: https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching 
Download the free Separation Checklist with all the important first steps as you embark on this journey https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444 

We all carry a painstory, a personal narrative shaped by our experiences of trauma, loss, and hardship. Understanding and acknowledging this painstory is crucial for healing after significant life events such as divorce, loss, or abuse. By exploring the origins and impact of our pain, we can begin to unravel the emotional knots that bind us to the past. This process of self-awareness allows us to identify patterns of suffering, recognize triggers, and gradually disempower the pain that has accumulated over time. Through compassionate self-reflection and acceptance, we can transform our painstory from a source of ongoing distress into a catalyst for growth and resilience, fostering a deeper sense of inner peace and emotional freedom.

Triggers of the Pain-Body:


Negative Thoughts and Emotions: Negative thoughts and emotions can feed the pain-body, causing it to grow stronger and more influential over an individual's state of mind and behavior.
Relationships: Close relationships, particularly those involving conflict or intense emotional interactions, can activate the pain-body.
Stressful Situations: High-stress circumstances or situations can trigger the pain-body, bringing old emotional wounds to the surface.

Healing the Pain-Body:


Awareness and Presence: The first step to healing is to become aware of the pain-body's presence. Recognizing when it is active allows an individual to disidentify from it. Practicing presence and staying in the "now" reduces the pain-body's power.
Observation Without Judgment: Observing the pain-body without judgment or reaction can weaken it. By acknowledging its presence without engaging with it emotionally, an individual can prevent it from gaining more energy.
Acceptance: Accepting the pain and understanding it as a part of the human experience can help in the healing process. This acceptance involves not resisting or trying to escape the pain, but rather allowing it to be without feeding it further.
Inner Body Awareness: Focusing on the physical sensations in the body can help in grounding and staying present. This practice can diminish the influence of the pain-body.

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE


Sign up to be the first to know about the August 1st re-launch of the Rising Free divorce support community happening this summer www.theseparationclub.com/rfwaitlist
The Healing Heart: https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching 
Download the free Separation Checklist with all the important first steps as you embark on this journey https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444 

**INTRODUCTION TO SUMMER HEALING SERIES**

I am really excited to bring you this healing series. I will be talking about what holds your healing back and what can make it happen faster. It's kind of the same thing. A true lesson in perspective.

So, join me for this illuminating, healing and potentially transformational summer series. 

Today is the introduction to the series and I will be touching on the following six areas of discussion that are coming up.


Identifying with the pain story 
Grief/loss and ruminating on memories
Inward focus - A self-discovery journey
Unrealistic and unmet Expectations
Your fear story
Lack of planning for the future

I am also relaunching the Rising Free membership community. I took a hiatus and restructured to meet your needs better. I'm so excited to bring you a whole new experience and support opportunity as you navigate your separation and divorce.

The launch date is July 1st, but make sure to sign up for the waitlist (see below) so you will be the first to know about launch specials, discounts and other exciting events. 

Also make sure to check out our upcoming retreats that also provide an opportunity to do this work in person with me and other women exactly like you. Something so powerful happens when women gather to do this work.

Upcoming retreats:


Umbria, Italy, June 22-29th, 2024 - https://www.theseparationclub.com/italy2024 
Ontario, Canada, Sept. 12-15th, 2024 - https://theseparationclub.com/lake-retreat 
Nosara, Costa Rica - Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025 - https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 

Upcoming retreats: 


🇮🇹 Umbria, Italy, June 22-29th, 2024 - https://www.theseparationclub.com/italy2024   
🇨🇦 Ontario, Canada, Sept. 12-15th, 2024 - https://theseparationclub.com/lake-retreat   
🇨🇷 Nosara, Costa Rica - Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025 - https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 

*JOIN THE RISING FREE WAITLIST* : https://www.theseparationclub.com/rfwaitlist

OTHER RESOURCES:


BUY THE BRAND NEW JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
Work with me - https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching


Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 and @thejoyjournal444 

Getting through divorce without feeling like you’re losing your mind, sanity and self-respect


Stop caring what others think
Stop caring about whether others think you are right or justified

First - We need to get solid with our core values.


What are our values?
Are we making decisions that are aligned with them? 

Second - If you don’t feel good then you are out of alignment with your values, beliefs or boundaries


Values - example: integrity, kindness
Beliefs - What you have been taught to believe vs. what is real and what is fear
Boundaries - what are your boundaries? Why are you reacting to this in this way? What feels wrong? DO NOT PLAY THIS DOWN AND MINIMIZE

Then we need to stop caring what others think


Everyone walks through life with their own set of beliefs, values, issues, wounds, fears etc - we will call it our bag of goods.
And then they impose their opinion based on this foundation or framework. The advise is always what “they would do” in your shoes. But first, they don’t know unless they have walked the same path. And second, they are giving advise based on their own personal bag of goods.
When I became a parent which is often the first time we really start reaching out for advice - I made sure to ask someone who parented the way I would like to. Who had similar values and who cared about me from an unselfish place.
The other thing to be mindful of is how you ask questions or what questions you ask.

What would you do?

Instead: What are some things you would suggest I consider?
Knowing what you know about me and the situation, what stands out that I might not be seeing.
In this way you are asking more general opinion questions that can help you with your decision instead of asking them “what you should do”.



I found it the most helpful when I had friends who would let me unload my mind and vomit my thoughts and then maybe ask a few questions while I was still ruminating. Very often, more often than not, I would answer my own question by the time I was done talking or venting.

And finally - stop caring about being right


 Being right or wrong lives inside our ego identity. It’s us wanting the world to know the truth. We want to scream from the roof tops, yell on social media and tell everyone
Ask yourself why? Why does it matter that they “know the truth”? What is the real benefit in that? Who stands to gain from this knowledge?

 

LIKS MENTIONED AND MORE


I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching
DON’T MISS THE ITALY RETREAT: Step into a dream and join us in Italy June 22-29th for a week of sisterhood, Italian wine and ancient towns with cobblestones and beautiful shops selling olive oil and pottery. It's the ultimate girls' trip https://www.theseparationclub.com/italy2024 
EARLY BIRD PRICING IN EFFECT. Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE BRAND NEW JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal


Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444  

Anger is a massive emotion that can take us over and make us do and say things we later regret. Most of us have also been subjected to other's angry outbursts. But anger can also be a productive and constructive emotion that can move your healing forward, empower you and help you gain confidence. Join this conversation to learn how.

You will also hear me talking about the upcoming group coaching experience that starts on May 13th. I am so excited to be running a course again as it has been almost a couple of years since the last one. This is different and has been created to embrace the new times that are present since the grip of Covid ended. 

It's called THE HEALING HEART:

https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart

During the 6 weeks we will:


Understand the source of your pain - it might not be as obvious as it seems
Connect with your inner story and being honest about what we are saying to ourselves
The biggest thing that holds us back is fear. We will work on letting go of fear and empower ourselves and each other to let go of our inner victim. We all have one.
Now you are ready to let go of your inner victim and to release your old pain story.
It’s time to rewrite the story
And then we celebrate and make plans.

HOW?

Mindfulness practices like meditation, visualization and pranayama (breathwork).
Group conversations, Q&A and relevant exercises.
Worksheets and other suggested "homework" activities.

You will walk away from this experience feeling stronger, happier and more confident as you continue to navigate your divorce and life in general.

WHY GROUP COACHING?
Some might feel hesitant to put themselves out in a group, but it is exactly the group dynamic that is so powerful. Knowing you are not alone, and having the support and friendship of others who are on the same journey is incredibly powerful.

We will put the techniques you learn into practice during group coaching sessions. This is a safe place where everyone is working on their own self-love journey.

AND JUST FOR THE NEXT 48 HOURS: Enhance your experience by having a coaching session with me before we get started (May 13th) so I can help set you up for success and hit the floor running.

 

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE:


The Healing Heart: https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart
DON’T MISS THE ITALY RETREAT: Step into a dream and join us in Italy June 22-29th for a week of sisterhood, Italian wine and ancient towns with cobblestones and beautiful shops selling olive oil and pottery. It's the ultimate girls' trip https://www.theseparationclub.com/italy2024 
EARLY BIRD PRICING IN EFFECT. Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE BRAND NEW JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching


Receive our new and free Monthly Moon Journey Calendar showing you how to work with the phases of the moon and each phase’s unique energies to create the life you want. https://www.theseparationclub.com/moon


Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444