Alchemy For Life

Author Mark Bradford
  • 4.8 (18)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY
Alchemy For Life

This podcast is for anyone wanting more control of their life, having too much stress, not feeling in control, not having the time, energy or resources to do what they want. It will help you get you more time, energy and resources, allow you to do what you want, reduce your stress. The podcast is a series of how to's, observations, and information that provides tangible doable solutions to your lack of time, your out of control schedule and your scrambling to find the energy to cope with your day to day life. Unlike standard "life coaching" and self help stuff,this podcast will actually give you tangible action items you can do that will give you what you want - time energy and resources, and reduce stress. Based on the http://www.AlchemyFor.Life concept. Articles at http://www.Alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/ If you'd like to be part of the call in podcast, send an email to podcasts@alchemyfor.life, with your full name and a short description of your question regarding balance. Subscribe for regular episodes.

  1. 6 DAYS AGO

    Deferred Gratitude and Exotic Cars

    Exotic Cars When people purchase exotic cars, they are sometimes hit with something called deferred maintenance. As with many car buyers, they see the value of purchasing a car used. The positive of that is that they get a car they want at a dramatically reduced price. The downside is sometimes that they hadn’t considered there might be deferred maintenance. Oops! There’s Deferred Maintenance With really expensive cars comes really expensive maintenance even down to just something as simple as oil changes and tire rotations can be shockingly expensive for those who have never owned an exotic car. And sometimes people own exotic cars, and realize they’ve spent the majority of their money on the car itself and don’t have a lot left over for the really expensive maintenance. So they skip it. And when they do that, the maintenance is deferred to the next person, which of course is the person purchasing it. All that time and they didn’t do it… 👀 Gratitude As I’ve mentioned in other episodes, gratitude is one of those rare things in life that really access an antidote to a lot of negativity. It’s the last thing you would think would work and yet it does. When you have times of sadness or hopelessness or things aren’t going your way or you feel that life is unfair, the last thing you think you should do is just become grateful for what you do have. It seems like a copout, but it’s not. It’s exactly what acts as a remedy in those cases. I rarely use this word because so many people do, but I find it to be quite powerful. A tree falling… If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one there to hear it does it still make a sound? Well yeah that’s not how sound works. If you feel gratitude for someone does it still count?Of course it does. However, it has even more meaning if you share that gratitude with the person you have it for. A license to be grateful As I said in a number of episodes, you need to give yourself a license to write and be creative, instead of preventing yourself from doing so. The same applies to gratitude. We feel we have to wait for birthdays, Christmas Thanksgiving, or… worse. We don’t. We shouldn’t. I’m grateful for you—the person reading this or listening to my podcast. You spend your valuable time doing so. I’m grateful for those that give me feedback—whether its a review, or a comment, or a shoutout here or there. I’m grateful for a lot of things that I could share with you here but instead, you probably want to think of what you’re grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate, wherever you are! Cheers!

    8 min

  2. NOV 17

    Time and energy = space

    A new formula Here’s an interesting concept for you, just when you thought you understood that life is made of three things: Time, Energy and Resources. But after ll, this is alchemy. Time, Energy and Resources Alchemy for Life™ has always been about life being three things. And we spend those three things on five facets. it’s the basis for the podcast, the coaching system, and a way to map your life out by a method tht nothing else can. It’s energy, not time We’ve talked about how often I’ve encountered someone who thought they didn’t have time to do something when almost invariably they don’t have the energy. But there’s more to it than that. Even if you have the time and the energy to do something, if you don’t make the space you’re going to find it difficult at best and impossible at worst. That’s where the new formula comes in. If you’re trying to accomplish something, there are really two ways to give yourself a means to do so: You can just carve out the time you think you need, or you can give yourself the space for it. Let’s talk about that concept in this week’s podcast. References multitasking and the forgotten glue

    11 min

  3. NOV 10

    Is Positivity just oblivious contentment?

    What is Positivity? You may think that ‘positivity’ doesn’t belong with such states of being as OCD, Anxiety, ADHD and the others featured in this 13-part series, but I think it does because it is markedly different than the average person. Positivity isn’t just being nice. Positivity isn’t being positive blindly. It is a state of being in which your base level is high positivity. You tend to see the big picture and your scale is set properly (see below). The Reality of Positivity The reality is that this state isn’t just being cheery, but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and not sweating the proverbial small stuff. People tend to be suspicious of people who are very positive. We think they are so nice to us because they must want something. They don’t. We think they aren’t listening or taking something to heart. They are. My Experience with Positivity It can get a bit daunting when you don’t know a lot of people who are also positive. When everyone else is down most of the time, and seem to always seek out the negatives you can feel a bit left out. Strangely enough, being the positive one can really make you feel like the odd duck when something doesn’t bother you as much as it bothers other people. When you speak up about it they tend to think you are taking the side of the opposition when in fact, you are simply expressing your perception of what’s happening on the whole. People like commiseration and they will view your positivity sometimes as condescension, lack of empathy and lack of interest. Sometimes with positivity, no good deed goes unpunished. It of course is part of the human condition to have ups and downs—by design. I have often said that without fail people who seem the happiest and kindest are the people who have gone through the most difficult of times. I have said that their scale is set properly and they actually know what zero feels like. (listen to the story demonstrating this on this episode) Coping with Positivity It might sound odd to ‘cope’ with something good, but there are downsides to this. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the silent one gets nothing. So, being positive and not complaining, and not speaking up when something isn’t perfect can mean that you get less attention, less forgiveness and, understanding. Sometimes you have to remember to ‘let something get to you’ so that you have an equal and opposite reaction to things in your life—instead of sitting idly by and envying those that always speak up and are treated with more respect. It’s a delicate balance. The Positivity Charm I designed the icon for this one simply as an up arrow. Because the charms have a loop and actually have an up and down, this arrow always points up. Alternative uses and meaning for this charm: ...

    13 min

  4. NOV 3

    Forced to be an Emergency Responder and Love Bombing

    Forced Emergency Responders and “Love Bombing.” Emergency Responders and the 2:00am call for a wooden spoon When we think of emergency responders, we think of paramedics and ambulances and firefighters and police. If you make widgets, no one is going to call you at three in the morning to tell you they desperately need a new stapler or a wooden spoon or any number of things that aren’t considered an emergency item. That goes for services as well. Other businesses and services may have a little bit of an emergency aspect to them, but for the most part are still handled proactively. Is this emergency aspect optimal? No. You should of course, be as proactive and not reactive as you can. If you have a client that has been one for a while, and an emergency—perceived or otherwise—crops up, I’m fairly confident you would handle it as an emergency and help them as best you can. Emergency Responders and being forced to be one When you call the fire department in the tragic event you have a fire, you may not have ever dealt with them before, but they answer the call with maximum effort because it’s their job. If someone contacts you with no previous experience or connection to you, has never paid you, and also doesn’t know you from Adam, and expects you to respond to an emergency without any kind of established relationship, they are making you an emergency responder In an almost-perfect world, there’s a chance that you can ride up on your metaphorical, big white horse and come to their rescue and save the day and this is now the moment they have you produce all of their spoons, handle all of their technology needs, or be their sole provider of napkins for their catering business. But do people who want to establish a relationship with you, who have the forethought of being proactive, and aren’t the type to patch together things with bandages typically introduce themselves by forcing you to be an emergency responder? Let’s go with “probably not.” Love Bombing Love Bombing in a relationship is when one party absolutely showers the other with affection, gifts, promises and the like. I have often said that the amount of attention one gets in the very early stages of a relationship is inversely proportional to how much they’ll get for the rest. My anecdotal evidence has been discussed with four separate women who have told me the exact story of a man who did exactly that—showered them with affection, flowers, etc. and then soon after marriage became neglectful, jealous, and worse. Instead, it’s the low, realistic, burn and build that makes for a solid relationship. Love Bombing in Business if you connect with someone who is going to hook you up with contract work or hire you as a consultant, refer you, or even hire you directly, and they not only paint a near perfect picture of your relationship and what you’re going to get out of it, but also continue to add bonus after bonus and all of the other things they can probably do for you—the proverbial carrots… The same phrase applies. If they want to connect with you—and they start selling past the sale, and start promising all those extra things they can bring to bear, with their metaphorical dozen roses… The same phrase applies.

    11 min

  5. OCT 27

    What is OCD? Do I have OCD? The Reality of coping with OCD.

    What is OCD? Do I have OCD? OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. It shares a symptom with ADHD in which you can be caught in a repetitive loop because of anxiety and stimulus.  But it is different than ADHD. The reality of OCD  The reality of OCD often involves constant, intrusive thoughts and the need to perform specific rituals to reduce anxiety. Day-to-day life can feel consumed by repetitive behaviors like checking, counting, or cleaning, making even simple tasks take much longer. This can lead to exhaustion, frustration, and difficulty focusing on other responsibilities. If you have to make sure all of the stove top burners are off, and you have to do it from right to left, and you have to do it three times before leaving your house you can be a bit… delayed.  It is interesting to know that there is something very ritualistic about this behavior. I tend to find a lot of value in both rituals and ceremonies, and you can learn more about that in the episode called become ceremonious. But become ceremonious is talking about giving more meaning to something and taking your time. On the other hand, OCD is creating a repetitious ceremony for other reasons. My Experience with OCD As always I’m giving my experience, from my perspective on a particular state of being and this is no different. I’m not giving perspective from a clinical evaluation, and I think most people are in that same place. Most joke that they have ADHD or OCD or Autism, and are pretty convinced that they experience Anxiety. Your mileage may vary. Having said that, I never really thought I was OCD. The exception being this: I have two coffee warmers—one in my home office, and one where I have coffee and wake up in the living room in the first hour. When I leave the house, even if I’m convinced that I’ve turned them off, I’l go back in and check all the while mumbling under my breath that this is dumb. But I do it because it takes 30 seconds to prevent a fire while I’m gone. Nothing really has to be in a particular order—I don’t care if the food on my plate touches, I don’t arrange my many mugs a certain way. My office is a bit messy at times. I do like to fold my towels a certain way but that’s because I learned how to make them look pretty (I was having house guests and thought that would make them feel more welcome) and it just sort of stuck. True, if I have cheese, sausage and crackers at the end there’s almost always a bit of cheese, sausage and crackers cuz I like to eat them in parallel because they complement each other. But that’s it. I tell you this in case you can relate. I tell you because it’s really easy for people to fall into the trap of pointing a finger at a specific affliction, or state of being. It’s OK to be quirky. It’s OK to have a personality. And it’s also OK if you have OCD. Do you? Do you think you have OCD? Coping with OCD, and yay acronyms! CBT and ERT are used quite a bit to help those with OCD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is commonly used to treat depressio...

    13 min

  6. OCT 20

    Don’t speak that into existence!

    Toddlers with chainsaws Are chainsaws bad? No. Should toddlers use them? No. We use chainsaws to perform a task, we don’t give them to toddlers because it is dangerous to do so and the toddlers don’t understand the balance of danger and functionality. Airbags, insurance and fire extinguishers, oh my! Does your car have airbags? Do you own fire extinguishers? Do you have insurance? All of these things are in place because you had to think the negative thoughts of contingency plans in case something negative happened. Entire departments exist within businesses for just such a purpose. Thinking and speaking negative thoughts We have to think and speak negative thoughts. As I said in the The Holy grail of Positivity Bias and Just Be Positive, thoughts are just thoughts, and being afraid to think certain thoughts does not help you get to your goal. You can talk about the negatives all you want as long as you’re not creating barriers for yourself that don’t exist. if you have been through a system for years, and you explain to someone the ins and outs of it and why you’re making the choices you are not being negative, you are explaining how things work. Beating your head against the wall repeatedly because someone tells you that to not do so is being negative is not realistic. Let’s talk about the incredible waste of energy of avoiding negative thoughts.

    11 min

  7. OCT 13

    Psych Charm: ADHD

    ADHD – Also known as Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. What is ADHD? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. People with ADHD typically struggle with finding it difficult to focus. They are easily distracted in pursuit of stimulus. Sometimes the stimulus leads them to hyper-focus.  The reality of ADHD  The reality for many people is that ADHD is a constant challenge for them to focus. You’ll see often online that people joke about their ADHD I myself have joked about somehow ‘harnessing it.’  If you have ADHD, you may be very frustrated with your seemingly paradoxical ability to hyper-focus on something one moment and then have no focus for the things you really want to do another moment.  The hyper-focus is almost never the thing you’re trying to accomplish. But it does stimulate you. My experience  As I said, I would often joke about weaponizing my ADHD to get an awful lot of things done. It seemed to be the likely explanation for all of the disparate disconnected things I was not only completing rather thoroughly but also in record time. Case in point all of the books that I wrote in a short period along with podcast episodes such as this one in addition to the pilots license I earned a year ago. But I don’t believe I have ADHD. Though I am able to hyper focus on something. It is not because of a have a Pavlovian quest for stimulus. Instead, I have just learned to understand how to focus and how to pursue something to completion. It’s a mental stamina that I’ve developed. In the podcast episode called in the zone. I talk about being in the zone. Though being in the zone share some similarities with hyperfocus, it is rather different. Hyper focus of ADHD can be so intense and all encompassing that the person loses track of time. Being in the zone does speed up time, but you still have an awareness of time passage, and in fact it is this awareness that sometimes makes you feel like you are just playing around when you’re actually getting work done since you are enjoying it so darn much. As I am writing this, I am sitting outside. And Across The Street they are cutting down a tree. The constant chainsaws is very annoying, but I’ve decided that I’m going to push through it. It would be an easy excuse to just either move inside or put this off to a later date. How do you cope with ADHD? It is common, and almost a bit too common, that doctors will prescribe ADHD medicine. I had my own encounter indirectly when I mentioned to my doctor that when I took or used to take sinus medication it allowed me to focus without distraction. she said that one of the ingredients was also in ADHD medicine.  I’m often surprised to find that people who suffer from ADHD have an absolutely terrible diet riddled with bizarre modern chemicals. They tend to stare at the TV and spent very little time physically moving. I would surprise that people should really try doing some involved exercises. Even walking Can change your state of being as I talked about in the parasympathetic nervous system episode. No, I am not dissuading you from taking meds if you need them, but I think it’s important to have a baseline of healthy eating healthy outlets and healthy exercise. I think putting those things in place may give some a little reprieve if not a dramatic change in what they call ADHD. But By all means consult the doctor. ADHD Psych Charm This charm uses the infinity symbol to represent the infinite thoughts that one can experience w...

    10 min

  8. OCT 9

    Psych Charm: Anxiety

    Anxiety – The feeling of stress, the activation of a fight-or-flight mode. Anxiety for some can be a fairly dull but constant sensation of having to attend to a problem—a nagging feeling that you need to take care of something. This can be from the demands of your job, your responsibilities as a parent, a spouse, a parent or a combination of all of the above. For some, however, it can be an instant-on attack of intense feelings of fight or flight complete with rapid heart beat, and even sweats. It is the activation of the sympathetic nervous system over something you are aware of, or something you are not. The reality of… Anxiety The reality of anxiety is that everyone experiences it in some form. The problem is that sopme people get activated by things they are not even aware of (this is addressed in the upcoming book BeCAUSE!) and because of that, like many things, they can be going through a very intense experience alone. Some people get overwhelmed easily. Others are reminded of their past and how they failed at similar tasks (this is addressed in the book Three Voices). My personal experience with Anxiety For a very long time I was of the mind set that people who experienced it were just…well, stressed. Being self employed, going through a diovoce and raising two kids on my own 100% responsibility had it’s moments of stress. But I never really thought I experienced anxiety. I tried to keep ducks in a row, and sort of knew where all the stress was coming from. It was fairly predictable some days, some days not so much. If anything I would experience what felt like a biological fight or flight, but no accompanying thoughts. This attack of panic would make me go hmm at best, and sometimes I’d check and say “Nope, all good.” Sort of like just having too much coffee—the effects are felt, but there was no fighting or fleeing. But my stress could be your anxiety. How do you cope with Anxiety? As I mention in BeCAUSE!, there is an underlying foundation of directives that have helped you and hindered you. These directives can certainly cause you to avoid something like the plague or move towards things that make you happy. And if you don’t lknow what’s causing it, then it just “happens out of nowhere.” The first step is getting to the root, and interestingly, the root can be a smell from your childhood, the tone of voice someone uses, or an unfortunate avoidance of something most people would not—because you never developed the resiliency to deal with it. Something as simple as reframing a thought can help. Things like yoga, meditation or the over-used buzzword of “mindfulness” can actually help. Breaking things down into smaller componets (which is a lot of what the AFL coaching is about) can allow things to be in digestable bites. You can listen to this episode on the book Three Voices and this one about how our Second Voices talk to us and others. The Anxiety Psych Charm Anxiety is represented by a lightning bolt because it can appear sudde...

    14 min
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4.8
out of 5
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About

This podcast is for anyone wanting more control of their life, having too much stress, not feeling in control, not having the time, energy or resources to do what they want. It will help you get you more time, energy and resources, allow you to do what you want, reduce your stress. The podcast is a series of how to's, observations, and information that provides tangible doable solutions to your lack of time, your out of control schedule and your scrambling to find the energy to cope with your day to day life. Unlike standard "life coaching" and self help stuff,this podcast will actually give you tangible action items you can do that will give you what you want - time energy and resources, and reduce stress. Based on the http://www.AlchemyFor.Life concept. Articles at http://www.Alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/ If you'd like to be part of the call in podcast, send an email to podcasts@alchemyfor.life, with your full name and a short description of your question regarding balance. Subscribe for regular episodes.

Information

  • Creator
    Author Mark Bradford
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2024
  • Episodes
    250
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Show Website
    Alchemy For Life

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