Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon

Heather Shannon

Ask a Sex Therapist is for you if you are ready to spice up your sex life. You are ready to learn all the things you were never taught about sex, intimacy and great communication in the bedroom. You are excited to explore your own body and feel more connected to your partner. You want to feel body confident, allow yourself to experience greater sexual pleasure and feel accepted for your fantasies and desires. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, get rid of the shame and stigma around sex and create happier, more fulfilling love life, this is the show for you. Hosted by Heather Shannon, Certified Sex Therapist, you'll be taken on a journey to release your sexual inhibitions and embrace your authentic sexual identity. Because it's time for you to Ask a Sex Therapist. Find out more about Heather's work and ask her your (anonymous) sex questions at https://HeatherShannon.co. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  1. 4D AGO

    Sex After 50: Why It Can Actually Get Better With Age

    Sex After 50 doesn’t have to decline — in fact, for many people, it gets better. In this episode of Ask a Sex Therapist, Heather is joined by Karen Bigman, a sex and relationship coach specializing in midlife and sex after 50, for an honest, funny, and deeply validating conversation about aging, desire, body changes, and intimacy. They explore why so many couples assume that low libido, painful sex, or loss of desire is just “part of getting older” — and why that belief is often what actually harms a sex life the most. From menopause and perimenopause to body image, shame, communication, and emotional intimacy, this episode reframes sex after 50 as something that can be playful, connected, and deeply satisfying. You’ll hear practical insights about: Why sex drive changes with age — and why that doesn’t mean sex is overHow menopause, hormones, and vaginal health affect desire and pleasureWhy mental foreplay, laughter, and connection matter more than performanceHow to talk about sex with a partner when it feels awkward or intimidatingLetting go of obligatory sex and rebuilding pleasure without pressure Why kissing, novelty, and communication are essential for long-term intimacy This conversation is especially helpful for: People navigating midlife, perimenopause, or menopauseCouples wondering how to keep sex fun and connected after 50Anyone struggling with desire discrepancy, body confidence, or sexual shamePeople curious about sex and agingPartners who want to better support each other through aging and change If you’ve ever wondered whether great sex is still possible later in life, this episode offers reassurance, science-backed insight, and permission to stop forcing what doesn’t work — and start enjoying what does. Find out more about Karen Bigman, her podcast, courses and ARYA discount at: https://www.taboototruth.com/podcast Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Sex and Aging 04:03 Debunking Myths About Sex After 50 08:33 The Role of Hormones in Sexual Health 11:56 The Importance of Self-Compassion 14:21 Body Image and Self-Perception 17:16 Common Struggles in Sexuality After 50 21:13 The Necessity of Sex for Health 22:54 Dating and Communication in Later Life 23:33 Navigating Aging and Intimacy 24:28 Emotional Intimacy and Communication 25:48 The Art of Kissing 27:21 Exploring Playfulness in Relationships 28:32 Mental Foreplay and Connection 29:00 Kissing Techniques for Better Connection 31:17 Addressing Kissing Preferences 32:50 Overcoming Communication Barriers 34:29 Small Steps to Enhance Intimacy 36:00 The Importance of Novelty in Relationships 37:28 Quality Over Quantity in Sexual Relationships 39:12 Resources for Enhancing Intimacy This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    46 min
  2. JAN 12

    How to Discover Your Sexual Desires Using 1,000 Self-Inquiry Questions

    Want to get personalized coaching to improve your sex life? Book a free consultation with Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon or her team. Booking A Consultation With The Right Person Summary In this conversation, Heather Shannon and Laura Alyn explore the journey of self-discovery in sexuality through self-inquiry and writing. Laura shares insights from her book, 'A Thousand Questions and Activities to Embrace Your Sexuality,' discussing the importance of understanding one's desires, the role of writing in processing thoughts, and the significance of open communication in relationships. They delve into the connection between body and mind, the exploration of kinks, and the necessity of creating a safe space for sexual expression. The discussion emphasizes the ongoing nature of personal growth and the importance of embracing one's sexuality without shame. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Sexual Self-Discovery 02:47 The Journey of Self-Inquiry 05:44 The Importance of Writing in Self-Discovery 08:48 Exploring Sexual Questions and Preferences 11:05 Diving Deeper into Kinks and Desires 13:46 Understanding Safety in Sexual Exploration 17:40 Connecting the Layers of Self 18:59 The Body-Mind Connection in Sexual Desire 20:31 Overriding Body Signals and Hustle Culture 21:37 Self-Inquiry and Personal Growth 22:28 The Ornelian Framework: A Path to Self-Discovery 23:55 Understanding Soul and Spirit in Intimacy 25:33 Navigating the Anxiety of Self-Inquiry 28:50 Complaints as Indicators of Deeper Desires 31:31 Responsibility in Relationships 32:40 Exploring Intimacy and Connection 34:34 Embracing Adventure in Sexual Exploration Visit Laura Alyn's website and check out her framework here: https://theornelian.com/2025/08/27/framework/ Video Episode Check out the video version of this episode on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/GbUngjPy1nQ Keywords sexuality, self-inquiry, communication, desire, intimacy, kinks, writing, personal growth, relationships, self-discovery This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    38 min
  3. JAN 5

    5 Emotional Mistakes That Are Quietly Destroying Your Sex Life

    Sex doesn’t usually disappear because people stop loving each other. It disappears because of emotional mistakes no one teaches us to recognize. In this episode, I’m breaking down five patterns that quietly destroy sex — and what to understand instead Work With Heather Feeling frustrated with your sex life or lack thereof? Book a free consultation with Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon or someone from her team! Click here to start. Episode Summary Heather discusses the 5 common emotional mistakes that can negatively impact a couple's sex life. She emphasizes the importance of understanding emotional dynamics rather than focusing solely on physical aspects of intimacy. The conversation covers common pitfalls such as taking a partner's lack of desire personally, moralizing around sex, recognizing emotional wounds, and the expectations surrounding sex in relationships. Heather encourages couples to foster empathy, curiosity, and open communication to enhance their emotional and sexual connection. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Emotional Mistakes in Sex Life 02:05 Taking Desire Personally: A Common Misconception 05:35 Blaming and Moralizing: The Impact on Relationships 10:46 Lack of Empathy for Sexual Wounds 15:11 Expecting Sex as an Obligation 20:35 The Honeymoon Phase: Unmasking Real Issues Keywords emotional mistakes, sex life, relationship advice, intimacy, sexual desire, communication, emotional wounds, libido, sexual health, couples therapy This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    25 min
  4. 12/29/2025

    Why BDSM Can Be Therapeutic When Done the Right Way

    Looking to improve sex and intimacy? Find the right coach or therapist for you here - Book A Free Consultation In this episode, Heather Shannon and Doc Yu Roc (Dr. Yulinda Rahman) explore the therapeutic use of BDSM, discussing how trauma is stored in the body and the importance of intersectionality in healing. They delve into the power dynamics present in everyday life and how understanding these can aid in personal growth. Doc Yu Roc shares insights on the Kink Professional Standards Alliance and the therapeutic potential of kink, emphasizing the need for intentionality and awareness in BDSM practices. Heather and Yulinda also discuss the importance of knowing and expressing your personal boundaries for feeling safe in your body and having positive kink experiences. Find Out More About Dr. Rahman (DocYuRoc) and her programs! General Website: https://docyuroc.org/ Ecosystem Of Excellence: https://ecosystemofexcellence.org/ Chapters 0:00 Intro 2:53 Therapeutic Use Of BDSM 6:03 Understanding Body Based Trauma 9:02 Reconnecting With The Body 12:00 Exploring Kink & Sensation 15:03 Therapeutic Benefits 18:02 Healing Through Touch And Sensation 21:54 Understanding Power Dynamics 25:22 The Importance Of Awareness In Power Dynamics 28:39 Exploring Intersectionality 31:59 A New Approach To Healing 38:56 Resources For Learning More View the video version of this episode at https://youtu.be/avOmaFbntg0 KeywordsBDSM, trauma, intersectionality, power dynamics, therapeutic kink, King Professional Standards Alliance, healing, intentionality, awareness, body-based trauma This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    45 min
  5. 12/22/2025

    Why High-Achieving Women Lose Desire (It’s Not Hormones)

    Looking to get out of your sex rut? Book a free consultation with a member of the Ask A Sex Therapist coaching team! https://form.jotform.com/253156356665060 AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host Heather Shannon speaks with Naturopathic Doctor Jordin Wiggins about the challenges faced by high achieving women in their intimate relationships. In particular, Jordin share how women's "supertraits" can lead to burnout and hinder their ability to connect emotionally. The discussion covers the importance of understanding emotional needs, setting boundaries, and recognizing coercive control in relationships. Jordin emphasizes the need for self-care and the prioritization of pleasure in both personal and sexual life, offering insights into how women can learn to receive and create fulfilling relationships. Find out more about Dr. Jordin Wiggins and her work with Supertraits here: https://www.thepleasurecollective.com/education Follow Dr. Jordin Wiggins on IG - https://www.instagram.com/drjordinwiggins/ Chapters 00:00 Introduction to High Achieving Women and Pleasure 02:34 Understanding Burnout and the Pleasure Problem 05:27 Super Traits and Their Impact on Relationships 08:08 The Connection Between Childhood and Adult Relationships 10:43 Navigating Boundaries and Emotional Safety 13:27 The Role of Sensitivity and Empathy 16:05 The Importance of Emotional Needs in Relationships 18:42 The Messy Middle of Change 21:15 Learning to Receive and Shift Dynamics 23:37 Creating a Pleasure-Centered Life 31:44 Navigating Life's Pleasures and Challenges 33:38 The Cultural Disconnect from Pleasure 35:46 The Shift Towards a Pleasure-Centered Life 37:42 Understanding Power Dynamics in Relationships 39:55 The Impact of Coercive Control 45:54 Transforming Sexual Relationships 53:44 Finding Support and Resources 58:32 Embracing Change and Vulnerability Check out the video version of this episode on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/bWUnwluNffI Keywords pleasure, high achieving women, super traits, burnout, intimacy, relationships, emotional needs, coercive control, self-care, sexual health This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    1h 12m
  6. 12/15/2025

    How to Have Incredible Sex Without a Perfect Erection

    If sex is feeling stressful, book a free Unlock Your Passion call with Heather to find out about her Pathway to Passion coaching program. https://HeatherShannon.co. In this episode, Heather introduces Kristin Vyas, a sex and intimacy coach who has joined the Ask A Sex Therapist team. Kristen shares the top sex issues she sees with clients including erectile dysfunction, mismatched libidos and shame around kinks. Heather and Kristen discuss the impact of societal pressures on masculinity. They talk about the importance of open communication about kinks and desires, the role of anxiety in sexual performance, and the necessity of ongoing sex education. The conversation emphasizes the importance of viewing yourself and your partner as a whole person. Learn why curiosity and understanding in relationships can be your secret weapon to a great sex life and start redefining sexual experiences beyond traditional norms. Chapters 00:00 Introduction of Kristin Vyas 01:00 Understanding Erectile Dysfunction 02:41 Redefining Pleasure and Connection 05:47 The Role of Anxiety in Sexual Performance 06:51 The Power of Thoughts in Sexual Experiences 09:18 The Impact of Adult Content on Sexual Expectations 11:56 The Importance of Ongoing Sex Education 15:28 Exploring Kinks and Shame 19:04 The Need for Acceptance in Kink 20:38 Common Kinks and Societal Pressures 23:02 The Pressure on Men in Sexual Relationships 26:11 Exploring Sexuality Beyond Labels 27:38 The Evolution of Sex Education 29:47 The Importance of Communication in Relationships 32:50 Understanding Boundaries and Safety 35:56 Navigating Kinks and Preferences 41:13 The Complexity of Desire 45:53 Rediscovering Core Desires 48:34 Curiosity and Empathy in Relationships Keywords erectile dysfunction, sex therapy, intimacy coaching, sexual health, kink, communication, consent, masculinity, sexual desire, sex education This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    58 min

Trailer

4.9
out of 5
165 Ratings

About

Ask a Sex Therapist is for you if you are ready to spice up your sex life. You are ready to learn all the things you were never taught about sex, intimacy and great communication in the bedroom. You are excited to explore your own body and feel more connected to your partner. You want to feel body confident, allow yourself to experience greater sexual pleasure and feel accepted for your fantasies and desires. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, get rid of the shame and stigma around sex and create happier, more fulfilling love life, this is the show for you. Hosted by Heather Shannon, Certified Sex Therapist, you'll be taken on a journey to release your sexual inhibitions and embrace your authentic sexual identity. Because it's time for you to Ask a Sex Therapist. Find out more about Heather's work and ask her your (anonymous) sex questions at https://HeatherShannon.co. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

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