Ending Physician Overwhelm

Megan Melo, Physician and Life Coach
  • 4.9 (40)
  • MEDICINE
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

I'm Megan Melo, board-certified Family and Obesity Medicine Physician and Physician Coach. In this podcast we talk about the many ways that burnout shows up in our lives, and what we can do about it. I'm on a mission to help Physicians take steps towards to heal burnout by unlearning the habits of perfectionism, people-pleasing and limiting beliefs so that we can lead healthier, happier lives.  The healthcare system is broken; but you don't have to wait until it's fixed to feel better. I'm here to help. Thank you for tuning in! Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review. Until next time, take care. Connect with me: Website: www.healthierforgood.comInstagram: @MeganMeloMDEmail: megan@healthierforgood.comBookshop.org Book Shop: https://bookshop.org/shop/meganmelo

  1. 19H AGO

    Stop Waiting to Feel Better

    Send a text How many times have you held your own happiness hostage? “I’ll feel better when my notes are closed.”  “I can rest when the work is done.”  “I’ll finally feel confident when I’m an attending.” We’ve all done it. We tie positive emotions to achievement and convince ourselves that relief, joy, or rest are rewards we earn later. But here’s the problem: later keeps moving. In this episode, we’re talking about the subtle but powerful habit of postponing positive emotions — and why it’s quietly keeping you stuck, even when you’re accomplishing incredible things. We Were Trained to Live in “When/Then” Medicine conditions us early: I’ll feel smart when I pass this exam.I’ll feel competent when residency is over.I’ll feel secure when I’m established.And every time we hit the milestone, there’s a brief lift… then we adapt. Psychologists call this hedonic adaptation — our nervous system returns to baseline after positive changes. The “arrival fallacy” tells us happiness lives in the next achievement. It doesn’t. If we keep believing we’ll feel better when, we spend our lives postponing joy. And here’s the kicker: we lose the skill of feeling good in the present. Three Ways This Shows Up 1️⃣ We Postpone Positive Emotion You finally close your notes. You go on vacation. Your inbox is covered. And you still can’t relax. Why? Because we’ve practiced vigilance far more than we’ve practiced ease. We know how to be hyper-alert. We don’t always know how to feel delight. Joy feels foreign. Rest feels suspicious. So we must relearn how to experience positive emotion now — not as a reward, but as a human capacity. 2️⃣ We Tie Moral Worth to Productivity This one is dangerous. Somewhere along the way, we absorbed the idea that: If I achieve more, I am more worthy.If I’m behind, I’m failing.If I’m not exceptional, I’m not enough.Your moral worth is not determined by whether you finished residency, got promoted, or became famous. It is determined by your values and how you live them. You are not more virtuous because you’re productive. And you are not less worthy because you’re tired. 3️⃣ The Goalpost Always Moves Medical training is hierarchical by design. Every stage has another “next.” Intern → senior resident → fellow → attending → faculty → leadership. If we keep waiting for the next level to allow happiness, we will wait forever. There is always another win. So we must learn to uncouple: “I want to become an attending.” AND “I can practice joy and steadiness now.” Both can be true. What Changes When We Stop Waiting? Imagine: You enjoy the smell of your baby’s head even while exhausted.You feel pride in your work even while growing.You take a moment of rest without earning it.We don’t deny reality. Hard seasons exist. But we stop tellin Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    24 min

  2. FEB 17

    Letting Go of Vicarious Shame

    Send a text Raise your hand if the last couple of weeks have felt… heavy. Not just busy. Not just frustrating. Heavy. As more information comes out about the Epstein files and the physicians connected to them, many of us are noticing something uncomfortable stirring beneath the surface. And today, we’re naming it. Vicarious shame. Not guilt. Not embarrassment. Not even anger—though that may be there too. Shame. And here’s the important distinction: Guilt says: I did something bad.Shame says: I am bad.Vicarious shame is when we feel shame on behalf of someone else and their actions.You haven’t done anything wrong. And yet you may feel the weight of it. Because we are physicians. Because we identify deeply with our profession. Because we carry responsibility seriously. Because we are highly empathic women who have been socialized to hold things together. And medicine? Medicine has trained us in shame. We trained in environments where missteps equaled inadequacy. Where not knowing something meant being exposed. Where performance and worth blurred into one. So when we see male physicians—powerful, wealthy, prominent—implicated in abuses of power, something hits close to home. Not because we are like them. But because we share the title. And if you’ve noticed: A heaviness in your chestA compulsive urge to scroll and read moreA sense of disgust that somehow turns inwardA quiet questioning of the professionYou are not alone. But here is what we will not do: We will not carry their shame. They deserve to experience shame for their actions. Shame is an appropriate human response to wrongdoing. If they do not feel it, that is their pathology—not your burden. We do not atone for abuses we did not commit. We do not hold shame for the profession. We do not absorb the moral weight of other people’s misconduct. What do we do instead? 1️⃣ We name it. Naming vicarious shame immediately loosens its grip. When you say, “Oh. That’s what this is,” your nervous system settles. 2️⃣ We speak it. Shame thrives in silence. When we talk about what we’re feeling—with trusted colleagues, friends, or within supportive spaces—we metabolize it. 3️⃣ We give it back. There are practices for this. Writing a letter and burning it. Speaking aloud that you are releasing what isn’t yours. Sitting in witness with another human and choosing to let it go. You are allowed to release shame that does not belong to you. 4️⃣ We practice critical awareness. You may notice how quickly you internalize responsibility. How readily you identify with the profession. How often you hustle to represent medicine “well.” You are not the bad actor. You provide care. You carry responsibility with integrity. You have not abused your privilege. We will not confuse ourselves with them. This is heavy work. But it is human work. And it is especially Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    25 min

  3. FEB 10

    You’re Not Doing It Wrong—You’re Doing It Alone

    Send a text You listen. You nod. You try to apply what you’re learning. And still—something isn’t quite moving. If that’s you, pause with me for a moment, because here’s the truth we don’t say out loud enough: You are not doing anything wrong. Most of what you’re trying to change—burnout, boundaries, habits, presence, sustainability—was never meant to be done in isolation. Not squeezed between patient visits, portal messages, and bedtime routines. Not silently. Not perfectly. In this episode, we talk about what actually changes when women physicians stop trying to do this work alone and start doing it in community. We explore three powerful shifts that happen when you’re supported instead of self-managing everything: 1. Community changes what feels possible When you hear someone name your thought out loud, shame loosens its grip. You realize your struggle is patterned—not personal. And suddenly, you’re not wasting energy on self-judgment. You’re solving the real problem. 2. Accountability becomes support, not pressure This isn’t about being pushed harder. It’s about being witnessed. About having your intentions held with you when your energy is depleted—and celebrating the small, meaningful wins that actually move the needle. 3. Self-kindness grows faster in relationship Most of us didn’t learn compassion alone—we learned it by being treated kindly. In supportive spaces, we borrow that voice at first… until it becomes our own. And that voice is what sustains real change. This episode also introduces The Practice—a connected community for women physicians who are done trying to “fix themselves” and ready to practice a more sustainable way of living and working. Inside The Practice, you’ll find: Twice-monthly themed group sessionsOpen office hours for real-time problem-solvingMonthly 1:1 coaching with meA space where your intelligence is assumed, your exhaustion makes sense, and your humanity is not treated as a problemYou don’t need more discipline. You don’t need to try harder. You don’t need to do this alone. 🎧 Listen to the episode, and if something in you whispers “this is what I’ve been missing,” that voice is worth trusting. 👉 Learn more about The Practice. Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    24 min

  4. FEB 3

    Your Emotions Aren’t the Problem

    Send a text Without overthinking it (yes, I know—that’s a tall order), I asked you to name one difficult emotion you’ve felt in the last few days. Anger. Frustration. Disgust. Resentment. If your immediate instinct was to judge yourself for it—or to shove it down and keep functioning—this episode is for you. As women physicians, we’ve been trained to override our internal signals. Push through. Stay professional. Don’t be “too emotional.” And yet, here we are—exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering why everything feels so heavy. In this episode, we slow it way down and start with the basics: What emotions actually are (and no, they’re not weaknesses)Why naming an emotion matters more than “fixing” itHow emotions show up in the body—and why that’s information, not a flawThe simple (but powerful) process of connecting feelings → thoughts → actionsHow to stop judging yourself for having very normal human responses to very real circumstancesWe talk about why staying stuck in unexamined emotions often leads to actions we regret—and how creating even a little space lets you choose differently. Not from suppression. Not from explosion. But from clarity. This is about digesting emotions instead of drowning in them or pretending they don’t exist. It’s about honoring what your feelings are telling you—especially in a world (and a medical system) that benefits when you don’t. And yes, I also share a bit about a new group experience I’m opening for women physicians who are craving connection, clarity, and a place where they don’t have to hold it all alone anymore. You are not broken. Your emotions are not wrong. They might actually be pointing you back to who you are. 🎧 Listen in and let’s practice being human—on purpose. Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    22 min

  5. JAN 27

    Get More Out of Your Tools

    Send a text You already work hard.  The question is: why are you still making it harder than it needs to be? In this episode, we’re talking about tools—and not just scalpels and stethoscopes. We’re talking about AI scribes, support teams, GLP-1 medications, Epic features, macros, automation… all the things that are supposed to help—but somehow end up wrapped in guilt, resistance, or overwhelm. If you’ve ever thought: “I shouldn’t need this.”“Using that feels like cheating.”“I’m too overwhelmed to learn one more thing.”This conversation is for you. We break down three places physicians get stuck with tools and how to shift out of each one—without abandoning your values or your integrity. In this episode, we explore: Why physicians are trained to “just get it done” with dull tools—and how that backfires outside of emergenciesThe difference between being the master of a tool and being controlled by itLearned helplessness: when you technically have support, but aren’t using it wellResistance and resentment toward tools (AI, Epic chat, GLP-1s)—and how it quietly drains your energyOverwhelm as a signal, not a failure—and how support can actually reduce itReal examples of using AI scribes beyond charting: coaching, expert witness work, summaries, timelinesWhy using the right tools doesn’t make you less competent—it makes you more masterfulYou are not a resident. You are not a student. You already know how to do this work well. The invitation here is simple but powerful: What would change if you let your tools actually support you? 🎧 Listen in, then ask yourself: What’s one tool in my world that I could start using better—starting this week? Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    22 min

  6. JAN 20

    The ONE Skill to Practice For a Better 2026

    Send a text January has a very specific way of messing with people-pleasing perfectionists. We start the year with big intentions—this will be the year we exercise, sleep, get our notes done, take better care of ourselves. And then… reality hits. Clinic runs late. Staffing falls apart. The inbox explodes. And somehow, we decide we are the problem. In this episode, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not failing. You’re just missing one skill—and it’s a skill you can absolutely learn. Today, we talk about the one practice that quietly changes everything: learning to delight yourself, and tolerating the discomfort that comes with not meeting everyone else’s needs. We break this down in a very physician-appropriate way (yes, there’s a 2×2 matrix), and we name the trap so many of us are stuck in: delighting everyone else while constantly disappointing ourselves. In this episode, we explore: Why people-pleasing perfectionists feel ambushed every JanuaryHow medical training wires us for struggle, sacrifice, and self-criticismThe hidden cost of constantly trying to undo other people’s disappointmentThe 2×2 “delight vs. disappoint” matrix—and where physicians get stuckWhy delighting yourself feels like disappointing others (even when it isn’t)How practicing delight expands your bandwidth, generosity, and effectivenessSimple, everyday ways to practice savoring—not scrollingWhy leaving a job or changing circumstances isn’t enough without this skillThis is not about indulgence. It’s not about checking out or caring less. It’s about learning to take care of yourself without abandoning the people you care about—and without abandoning yourself. Your invitation this week: Choose five small sources of delight already in your life. Notice them. Savor them. Practice letting them count. That’s the skill. And it changes far more than you think. Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    25 min

  7. JAN 13

    Tweaks for 2026

    Send a text You don’t need a brand-new personality this year. You don’t need kale, CrossFit, or a personality transplant on January 1st. What you do need are a few small, intentional tweaks—decisions that actually respect the life you’re living and the woman you already are. In this episode, we’re officially past the “New Year, New You” nonsense and back in real life. And from that grounded place, I’m sharing 10 tweaks I’m committing to for 2026—not as rules, not as resolutions, but as lived practices that protect energy, reclaim time, and make space for delight. This list is personal. It’s also wildly transferable. As you listen, I want you asking: “Which one of these is mine?” In this episode, we talk about: Why protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s survival (and leadership)How taking care of yourself is taking care of others (yes, even in medicine)Why waiting to meet your own needs is a fast track to burnoutHow to master your time without doing everything yourselfKnowing when and where to speak your mind (and where not to)Saying no without over-explaining or apologizingWhy delight is not frivolous—it’s fuelHow questioning your assumptions quietly changes everythingThe power of retiring unnecessary apologiesWhat it really means to detach from medicine—mentally and physicallyThis is not about becoming someone else in 2026. It’s about becoming more you, with better boundaries, more joy, and fewer open tabs in your brain. Your invitation: Steal this list.Adapt it.Make your own.Choose one tweak and practice it this week.If you want support doing this work—figuring out how to protect your energy, reclaim your time, and show up as yourself again—I’d love to help. You can reach me at megan@healthierforgood.com, check out my website (www.healthierforgood.com) or schedule at https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-call And if this episode resonated, please: Leave a rating and a written review (both matter)Share this episode with a physician who needs itWe don’t make change alone. We pass it on. Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    33 min

  8. JAN 6

    Rewriting the “New Year, New You” Narrative

    Send a text Rewriting the “New Year, New You” Narrative New Year’s can be a surprisingly difficult  time, especially for women physicians who already carry a heavy load of responsibility, perfectionism, and self-judgment. In this episode, I explore why the familiar “New Year, New You” energy so often leaves us feeling discouraged rather than renewed, and offer a more compassionate, sustainable way to reflect and move forward. Instead of trying to wipe the slate clean or fix what feels broken, I invite you to think about your life as a story told in chapters; with you as the hero. In this episode, we talk about: Why New Year’s resolutions often amplify feelings of lack and failureHow “magical thinking” keeps us stuck instead of supportedAn alternative framework to reflect: viewing your life as a novel with chaptersCommon chapters many women physicians move through (training, parenting, burnout, transition, diagnosis, change)What shifts when you see yourself as the hero of your own storyA simple reflective exercise to reframe the past year with more compassionWhy it’s okay, and often necessary, to ask for support in the chapter you’re inAs Jeff Moore reminds us: “You wouldn’t quit a show or a book just because the character hit a low point. You’d lean in to see how they rise.” This episode is an invitation to do the same for yourself. Ready for support? If you’re tired of doing this reflection work alone and want help navigating the chapter you’re in with more clarity, self-compassion, and intention, I’d love to talk with you. Learn more about 1:1 coaching: www.healthierforgood.comOr email me directly: megan@healthierforgood.com Support the show To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me. Want to contact me directly? Email: megan@healthierforgood.com Follow me on Instagram! @MeganMeloMD

    21 min
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About

I'm Megan Melo, board-certified Family and Obesity Medicine Physician and Physician Coach. In this podcast we talk about the many ways that burnout shows up in our lives, and what we can do about it. I'm on a mission to help Physicians take steps towards to heal burnout by unlearning the habits of perfectionism, people-pleasing and limiting beliefs so that we can lead healthier, happier lives.  The healthcare system is broken; but you don't have to wait until it's fixed to feel better. I'm here to help. Thank you for tuning in! Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review. Until next time, take care. Connect with me: Website: www.healthierforgood.comInstagram: @MeganMeloMDEmail: megan@healthierforgood.comBookshop.org Book Shop: https://bookshop.org/shop/meganmelo

Information

  • Creator
    Megan Melo, Physician and Life Coach
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    217
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Ending Physician Overwhelm
  • Show Website
    Ending Physician Overwhelm