The Territory and the Map Andrea Buchanan and Dr. John Reiman for the Spinal CSF Leak Foundation

Dr. John Reiman walks Spinal CSF Leak Foundation executive director Andi Buchanan through four steps of assertive communication to learn about its importance for those living with spinal CSF leaks.

The four-step process Dr. Reiman shares involves a genuine expression of appreciation, articulation of feelings, explaining your needs clearly, and specifying a required course of action. It's not a method meant to guarantee that one’s needs are met, but rather an approach to expressing them in a meaningful manner that is able to be capably heard.  




“Four Steps of Assertive Communication” document
Episode transcript

 

Episode time codes:

00:00 Introduction and Warm-up

00:43 Welcome to Episode 4: Assertive Communication in
Leakland

02:08 Understanding the Importance of Assertive
Communication

04:22 Challenges of Assertive Communication in Leakland

06:42 Understanding Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive
Communication

09:52 The Four-Step Process for Assertive Communication

19:14 Applying the Four-Step Process: A Personal Example

34:24 Applying the Four-Step Process: A Medical Scenario

47:52 Conclusion and Contact Information



Have an idea for a show topic? Let us know! Send us your thoughts on topics you’d like to hear on the podcast by emailing us at podcast@spinalcsfleak.org.

What do World War II–era pianos have to do with self-compassion? Tune in to this episode to find out!

Mentioned in this episode:


Kristen Neff, PhD: The Three Elements of Self-Compassion
Neff, K. D., Pisitsungkagarn, K., & Hsieh, Y.-P. (2008). Self-Compassion and Self-Construal in the United States, Thailand, and Taiwan. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 39(3), 267-285. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022022108314544
Hall, Alexandra. “During World War II Steinway pianos were parachuted onto battlefields to provide relaxation.” Classic FM.
Lee, Winnie. “When the Pianos Went to War.” Atlas Obscura.
Wise, Brian. “Victory Verticals.” Steinway & Sons.
Wodehouse, Artis. "At The Piano Exchange hear a 1943 WWII Steinway Victory upright." YouTube, uploaded by Artis Wodehouse, 19 December 2021.

Episode transcript.



Episode Time Codes:

00:00 Introduction to the episode

00:24 What on earth is a military piano?

02:41 The importance of joy in difficult times

06:03 Understanding self-compassion

07:13 The role self-compassion in healing

15:18 Challenges in practicing self-compassion

30:49 Practical exercise for cultivating self-compassion

42:22 What about those military pianos?

43:35 Closing remarks

In this episode, we discuss some strategies and practices for navigating life in—as Dr. Reiman calls it—Leak Land.



MENTIONED IN TODAY'S SHOW:

Dr. Reiman covered several tools for navigating pain and anxiety:


An invitation to consider an act of self-compassion
Four steps to chill unhelpful recycling thoughts
Finding refuge in the breath
Crying/shaking/yawning



Here are links to the two books mentioned about acceptance and commitment therapy, both by Russ Harris:


The Happiness Trap
ACT Made Simple: An Easy-To-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

 

More about Byron Katie’s “The Work” and those four fundamental questions—Is it true? Can you absolutely know it’s true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without that thought?—may be found online at The Work.

 

And here is Jodi Ettenberg’s Patreon post about what she calls “four-lung breathing,” and a general link to her Patreon, where she shares tips and resources about spinal CSF leak and chronic pain.



For more info about spinal CSF leak, visit spinalcsfleak.org.

New York Times bestselling author Andrea J. Buchanan and trauma therapist Dr. John Reiman—both of whom have experienced spinal CSF leak—talk about the ways we tell ourselves stories to understand and survive the challenging things that happen to us.