Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

Brenda Zane
  • 5.0 (225)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

When your teen or young adult is misusing drugs or alcohol, you need more than just tactics—you need hope, healing, and a path forward for your entire family. Hopestream delivers expert guidance and emotional support for parents navigating their child's substance use and mental health struggles. Hosted by Brenda Zane, Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained Parent Coach who nearly lost her son to addiction, this podcast goes beyond "how to get them into treatment" to address the full ecosystem of this journey. Episodes features: Leading addiction, prevention, and treatment expertsReal stories from families who've been thereEvidence-based strategies for helping your childSelf-care and coping tools for parentsDeeper conversations about finding meaning, joy, and even unexpected blessings through the hardest times Whether you're dealing with a teen or young adult's drug use, alcohol misuse, or co-occurring mental health challenges, Hopestream offers the comprehensive support other parenting and addiction podcasts miss. This is your safe space to heal, learn, and discover you're not alone. New episodes weekly. Join us between the episodes at hopestreamcommunity.org.

  1. Stuck After Treatment: Real Options Parents Overlook, with Will White

    5D AGO

    Stuck After Treatment: Real Options Parents Overlook, with Will White

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Will White has been doing this work since last century, and he means that literally. Licensed since 1989, he has worked in group homes, boarding schools, mental health centers, and in 1996, co-founded Summit Achievement, a wilderness therapy program he ran for nearly 27 years. When he tells you the landscape of behavioral health for young people has shifted more in the last five years than in the previous three decades combined, he knows what he’s talking about.  The externalizers of a generation ago, the kids who broke things, slammed doors, and announced their pain loudly, have largely given way to a different kind of struggling young person. One who is anxious, inward, and frozen. Who won’t leave the room, won’t leave the house, and whose parents keep quietly rearranging life around them in an effort to keep the peace. Will has watched this pattern closely, including at Mountain Valley Treatment Center, where young residents had become so overwhelmed by anxiety that the outside world felt completely out of reach. The treatment models that worked before are not always the ones that work now, and the gap between what young people need and what is actually available to them is widening. That gap is exactly what Will set out to address when he helped launch The Trade, a new nonprofit program in rural New Hampshire for young adults (all genders) ages 18 to 30. It’s not a therapy program in the traditional sense and if you have a young person stuck in that uncomfortable in-between of not ready for college, not ready for independence, but also not well-served by just being home, it may be exactly what you did not know to look for. I wanted Will back on the show (he appears way back in episode 14) because his view of the bigger picture is one I trust. In this conversation, we talk about the seismic shifts in behavioral health, what is driving the rise in anxiety, and why less talk and more doing might be what this generation actually needs. If your young person is stuck and none of the usual paths seem to fit, this one is for you. YOU'LL LEARN: The shift Will has watched from externalizing kids to anxious, frozen ones, and what he believes is behind itWhat The Trade is and who it’s built forWhy apprentices get paid from day one, and what receiving a first paycheck does to a young personThe over-accommodation pattern Will kept seeing in parents, and when caring starts to make things worseWhat Will leaves exhausted parents with, from someone who has been doing this work for four decadesEPISODE RESOURCES: The Trade websiteWill White on Hopestream episode #14Trish Ruggles, Therapeutic Consultant at Pathfinder ConsultingMountain Valley Treatment Center websiteThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    54 min
  2. Misreading Your Child's Substance Use: What Parents Get Wrong with Brenda Zane

    APR 23

    Misreading Your Child's Substance Use: What Parents Get Wrong with Brenda Zane

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: I have sat with hundreds of moms who came to me at completely different points in their child's substance use, and the gap between them has always struck me. One mom is barely breathing, convinced the worst is already happening. Another is quietly telling herself it might just be a phase. Neither one is wrong, exactly. What they both share is that they are navigating one of the most consequential situations of their lives without a real map. That gap, between what parents fear and what is actually happening, is exactly what this episode is about. Medicine has always used staging to give patients and families a language for urgency, for appropriate response, for what comes next. Parents of kids with substance use issues have never been handed anything like that. We are expected to assess, decide, and respond without the framework that clinicians spend years building. So in this episode, I am borrowing that idea because staging is one of the most useful concepts in medicine. It tells you where you are, how serious things actually are, and what kind of response fits the moment. I walk through four stages of substance use, what you might see on the surface, what is happening underneath, and how your role as a parent shifts at each one. What I want you to hear in this conversation is that you have more influence than you have probably been told. There is a 94% chance your child does not believe they have a problem yet. That is not a reason to give up. It is actually the case that makes you, the parent, the most important factor in whether they ever get help. This framework is not meant to frighten you into action. It is meant to give you the kind of clear-eyed picture that lets you stop reacting and start responding strategically. If you have been operating without a map, this one is for you.  YOU'LL LEARN: The four stages of substance use and what each one actually looks like from the outsideWhy a quiet kid at home can be at a higher risk level than you thinkHow today's substances change the risk math at every stageWhat your role as a parent is, and why it matters more than you have probably been toldThe shift that moves you from reacting to responding strategicallyEPISODE RESOURCES: Dr. Anna Lembke episode Dr. Gabor Maté episodeWorried Sick free ebookThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    49 min
  3. 4 Things You’re Probably Googling if Your Child Struggles With Substances, with Cathy Cioth

    APR 16

    4 Things You’re Probably Googling if Your Child Struggles With Substances, with Cathy Cioth

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: There is a specific kind of searching that happens at 2am when you are a parent in the thick of it, typing symptoms and half-formed fears into a search bar because you cannot say them out loud to anyone in your life. My cofounder Cathy Cioth knows exactly what that feels like, and in this conversation, we sit down to answer the questions we hear most from parents in our community, including the ones that tend to arrive with a quiet residue of shame just for asking. We start with one that stops many parents cold: does your child actually have to go to formal treatment to get better? The answer is more nuanced than most of us were told, and the data behind it may genuinely surprise you. From there, we get into PAWS, post-acute withdrawal syndrome, the thing nobody warned you about when your child finally got sober and you expected life to start looking better, and it did not. Cathy and I are nine and ten years out from the hardest seasons of our own journeys, both trained in CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training), and nothing in this conversation comes from a textbook. This episode is the conversation you may wish you could have had years ago, before you knew what you did not know yet. You'll learn: Why formal treatment is not the only path to recovery, and what the research actually saysWhat PAWS is, why it blindsides so many families, and how to recognize it in your childHow to reward non-using behavior in a way that feels genuine rather than transactionalWhy natural consequences belong to your child, not to you, and what it costs to keep carrying themWhen doing nothing is the most potent intervention available to you EPISODE RESOURCES: Jo Collete EpisodeRecovery Research InstituteDina Cannizzaro Episodes: 297, 288, 173, 138This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    1 hr
  4. Is Your Anxiety Making Your Kid's Addiction Worse?, with Maya Kruger

    APR 9

    Is Your Anxiety Making Your Kid's Addiction Worse?, with Maya Kruger

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Maya Kruger grew up knowing, in a way children simply know things, that mothers die. Her own mother had lost her mother suddenly at 26, and the shadow of that loss shaped everything, including the fierce, almost desperate closeness Maya and her mother shared. She was so convinced that by leaving nothing unsaid, she could somehow protect what they had. Then, the evening after a morning hike together, her mother was killed in a car accident. Maya was 18, not yet fully formed, and suddenly on her own in a way she had spent her whole childhood bracing for and still could not have prepared for. What followed was not a clean grief. It was the kind that gets woven into everything, into the acting conservatory she attended in Tel Aviv, into the plays she wrote for the national theater, into a one-woman show called Hand Me Downs where she played her grandmother, her mother, and herself all at once. She got into Juilliard and could not go. She got into drama programs in the States and found herself, over and over, cast as other people's mothers, which she describes as both a wound and a doorway. It was not until she was sitting alone for three days on an Outward Bound solo in the Utah desert, nine crackers a day and a whistle around her neck, that something cracked open. She is now a psychotherapist, trauma specialist, and founder of Overture Therapy in New York, where she works with anxious moms navigating the ways that a child's crisis can bring every old wound roaring back to the surface. This conversation goes somewhere I was not entirely prepared for. Maya reframes anxiety in a way that stopped me cold, and she has a way of talking about the guilt and shame that lives in a mother's body when her child is struggling that made me feel genuinely seen. She says something about what anxiety is actually asking for that I keep returning to. If you have ever felt like your child's struggle has cracked open something in you that you did not know was still there, this one is for you. You'll learn: Why Maya grew up believing mothers disappear, and what she tried to do about itWhat maladaptive behavior actually is, and why context changes everythingThe reframe she offers for anxiety that makes it something other than the enemyWhat she means by parking next to yourself, and why it is so hard to doThe message an anxious mom is actually passing to her kids, and how to change itEPISODE RESOURCES: Free, 15-minute consultation with Overture TherapyOverture Therapy websiteHear Brenda Zane on Maya’s podcast, “How Did You Get Here?” episode 22This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    1h 3m
  5. Your Calm Is Your Child's Best Drug, with Hunter Clarke-Fields

    APR 2

    Your Calm Is Your Child's Best Drug, with Hunter Clarke-Fields

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Hunter Clarke-Fields was a painter. She had a graduate degree in art education, a high school teaching job, and what looked from the outside like a creative life. What nobody could see was that she was white-knuckling her way through it, cycling between intense highs and pits of despair she could not explain, having panic attacks in the hallways before she had any tools to handle them. She reached for yoga, then for books on mindfulness, and read about it for years before she finally, at 27, sat down and actually tried. She set a timer for 10 minutes and sat there thinking the whole time. She was certain she was doing it wrong. But two months in, she looked back and realized she had not fallen into a single pit. Not one. For someone who had been cycling into darkness every couple of weeks for most of her adult life, that was not a small thing. It was everything. And it sent her down a path she never expected, one that eventually turned her into the Mindful Mama Mentor, a podcast host, a mindfulness teacher, and the bestselling author of Raising Good Humans. Hunter now teaches mindfulness to parents all over the world, with over 20 years of meditation practice behind her and two daughters who, she will freely admit, grew up slightly allergic to the whole thing.  I wanted to have this conversation because I think mindfulness gets written off as vague or soft, and Hunter makes it anything but. She explains what is actually happening in your brain when you blow up at your kid, why longer exhales are not just a cliche, and what she calls the Three R's, a framework so simple you will remember it in the worst moment. She also says something about feelings being like toddlers that I keep coming back to.  If you have ever thought that mindfulness is not for you, or that you are too far gone to start, this one is for you. You'll learn: Why Hunter spent two months certain she was meditating wrong.The part of mindfulness most people skip that changes everything.Her Three R's for the moments you most want to lose it.What she says feelings are like, and why it reframes everything.The one thing she would tell a struggling parent to try today.EPISODE RESOURCES: Hunter Clarke-Fields websiteRaising Good Humans BookMindful Mama PodcastThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    53 min
  6. Using CRAFT, Getting Results, Still Questioning: Coaching Episode

    MAR 26

    Using CRAFT, Getting Results, Still Questioning: Coaching Episode

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: When Marie's son was diagnosed with ADHD at eight, she did what devoted parents do. She learned everything and got to work. By the time weed entered the picture in his teens, she had already lined up CRAFT counselors, drug and alcohol specialists, an at-risk youth petition, even a street artist mentor. She is a school psychologist. She had the frameworks, the language. None of it stopped what was coming. What followed were years of watching him cycle through residential treatment, partial hospitalization, therapeutic boarding school, sober living, and inpatient care, all before nineteen. When he came home and relapsed within days, Marie and her husband made the call she'd been bracing for: he couldn't live with them anymore. And something unexpected happened inside her. Today, her son has a job. He calls. He showed up to his dad's birthday and ate cake with relatives he hadn't seen in years. Marie listens without lecturing. She is only now learning what it means to help herself. This is one of the most honest accounts I've heard of doing everything right and still feeling unsure. If you've done everything you can think of and you're still waiting, this one's for you. You’ll learn: The moment Marie felt a significant shift inside her after her son relapsed and had to leave homeWhat “active waiting” looks like in practice, and how that doesn’t mean ‘letting go’The specific kind of change talk Marie started hearing from her son, and what it signals about where he is in his processHow Marie and her husband are thinking through the next housing crisis before it happens, including a practical tool for staying grounded when everything hits at onceThe shift from parenting mode to consulting mode, and what it looks like to give your child a voice in solutions without solving everything for themEPISODE RESOURCES: Clear30 App - helps people take a 30 day break from weedJessica Lahey’s “The Gift of Failure”This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    1h 1m
  7. Why Kids Get Estranged From Loving Families, with Sally Harris

    MAR 19

    Why Kids Get Estranged From Loving Families, with Sally Harris

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: When Sally Harris’s middle daughter started down a dangerous path at 14, she did what most devoted mothers do. She fought hard to fix it. Boarding school. Rehab. Anything and everything she could think of. What she did not expect was that the hardest decade of her life was still ahead, or that the coping mechanism she reached for would quietly become a crisis of its own. Her daughter’s story wound through some of the darkest places a mother can imagine, and Sally will tell you she did not handle it with grace. She handled it the way most of us do: imperfectly, desperately, and often in ways that made things worse. What turned everything around was not something she did for her daughter. It was something she finally did for herself. Ten years later, her daughter is back. They speak together publicly. They laugh about things that were anything but funny at the time. Sally now coaches moms who are somewhere in the middle of their own version of this, and she brings the kind of clarity you can only get from having actually lived it. This conversation goes to places I do not hear enough people talking about honestly: what it does to a mother when her child goes silent, the ways we unknowingly push them further, and what it actually looks like to do the work on yourself while your child is still out there struggling. Sally asks one question of every mom she works with, and I think it will stay with you. If your child has asked for space, cut contact, or simply drifted somewhere you cannot reach, this one is for you. You’ll learn: The coping mechanism Sally reached for and what finally made her put it down for goodWhy honoring a requested pause is harder than it sounds, and what happens when we do notWhat Sally means by "father wounds" and how often they show up in the families she works withThe one question she asks every mom she coaches, and why the answer changes everythingA practical tool she calls a personal board of directors, and why your friends probably should not be on it. EPISODE RESOURCES: Sally Harris YouTube ChannelSally Harris websiteThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    48 min
  8. What’s Tough Love and Does It Work For Addiction? With Cathy Cioth

    MAR 12

    What’s Tough Love and Does It Work For Addiction? With Cathy Cioth

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Tough love. Two words that get thrown around constantly in the addiction world, and yet nobody can quite agree on what they mean. Kick them out. Cut them off. Save yourself. That’s the version I heard early on, and I couldn’t do it. Not because I was too soft, but because something about it felt fundamentally wrong - especially with a teenager. In this episode, Cathy and I get practical on the topic of this illusive thing called “tough love.” We walk through the nine actual actions we took with our own kids, in order, from the very first steps all the way to the hardest ones (ones we call “strong love”) as a way of demonstrating action, not theories. Just two moms who were figuring it out as we went, without the language, community or support we needed at the time. YOU’LL LEARN: What Dr. Gabor Maté said about tough love that stopped me coldWhy I stopped using the phrase “tough love” and what I call it insteadNine “strong love” actions Cathy and I took with our own kids, and what we wish we had done differentlyThe thing every person in recovery has told me about what finally changed things for themThe two books I recommend to every parent, no matter where you are in thisEPISODE RESOURCES: Heather Hayes on Hopestream episode 111Mary Crocker Cook on Hopestream episode 223Jessica Lahey on Hopestream episode 163Trish Ruggles on Hopestream episode 313Safe Enough To Change course in Hopestream Community’s Limited MembershipThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    56 min
See All (322)

Trailer

5
out of 5
225 Ratings

About

When your teen or young adult is misusing drugs or alcohol, you need more than just tactics—you need hope, healing, and a path forward for your entire family. Hopestream delivers expert guidance and emotional support for parents navigating their child's substance use and mental health struggles. Hosted by Brenda Zane, Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained Parent Coach who nearly lost her son to addiction, this podcast goes beyond "how to get them into treatment" to address the full ecosystem of this journey. Episodes features: Leading addiction, prevention, and treatment expertsReal stories from families who've been thereEvidence-based strategies for helping your childSelf-care and coping tools for parentsDeeper conversations about finding meaning, joy, and even unexpected blessings through the hardest times Whether you're dealing with a teen or young adult's drug use, alcohol misuse, or co-occurring mental health challenges, Hopestream offers the comprehensive support other parenting and addiction podcasts miss. This is your safe space to heal, learn, and discover you're not alone. New episodes weekly. Join us between the episodes at hopestreamcommunity.org.

Information

You Might Also Like