Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

Brenda Zane
  • 5.0 (229)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

When your teen or young adult is misusing drugs or alcohol, you need more than just tactics—you need hope, healing, and a path forward for your entire family. Hopestream delivers expert guidance and emotional support for parents navigating their child's substance use and mental health struggles. Hosted by Brenda Zane, Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained Parent Coach who nearly lost her son to addiction, this podcast goes beyond "how to get them into treatment" to address the full ecosystem of this journey. Episodes features: Leading addiction, prevention, and treatment expertsReal stories from families who've been thereEvidence-based strategies for helping your childSelf-care and coping tools for parentsDeeper conversations about finding meaning, joy, and even unexpected blessings through the hardest times Whether you're dealing with a teen or young adult's drug use, alcohol misuse, or co-occurring mental health challenges, Hopestream offers the comprehensive support other parenting and addiction podcasts miss. This is your safe space to heal, learn, and discover you're not alone. New episodes weekly. Join us between the episodes at hopestreamcommunity.org.

  1. 5d ago

    Substance Use Isn't the Whole Story, with Dr. Graham Husick

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Your kid has been to a program. Maybe two. Maybe four. Each one handed back a diagnosis list a little longer than the last, and none of it ever explained why nothing is sticking. My guest uses a comparison in this one that stopped me cold. If your child had stomach pain, no surgeon would just open them up and look around. They would scan first. And yet with our kids we tend to go straight to treatment, treatment, treatment, without asking who this person actually is underneath the substance use. He calls it treating the problem inside the person instead of the person with the problem, and once you hear it you cannot unhear it. Dr. Graham Husick is a clinical psychologist in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, and the director of clinical assessment at the Lakeside Independence Program, which works with severe and complex mental health cases. Part of his job is reading the evaluations other people wrote about kids like ours, and he can tell you precisely what keeps getting left out of them. We get into why he includes IQ testing in every evaluation, what your child's preferred substance choice tells him that they could never say out loud, and why he will usually steer a family toward paying out of pocket rather than running a psych eval through insurance. He also names something I had never heard put into words: why a kid who is finally doing well will sometimes walk straight back into the thing that nearly took them out. I did not have any of this intelligence when my son was in it, and I have thought about that a lot since. If your child has cycled through program after program and you still cannot answer the question "but what is actually going on with them," start here. YOU'LL LEARN: Why Dr. Husick recommends not testing in active addiction, and the window he actually wantsWhat a diagnosis list eight items long tells you, and what it can never tell youWhy he includes IQ testing every time, even when nobody asked for itWhat the substance your child reaches for most says about what they may be needingThe recommendation he sometimes has to put in writing that parents least want to readEPISODE RESOURCES: Dr. Husick’s websiteLakeside Independence Program websiteThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    Substance Use Isn't the Whole Story, with Dr. Graham Husick

  2. Aug 6

    Becoming Emotionally Sturdy When Your Child Struggles, with Cathy Cioth

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: There is a version of a house where everyone moves quietly. You time your questions. You read the door slam before you read the room. You have gotten so good at it that you barely notice you are doing it anymore, and somewhere in there, one person's mood started running the whole place. Cathy and I both lived there. I matched my son's emotional state toe to toe and had no skills to separate the two. Cathy handed so much authority over to her kids that her husband walked in the door every night and had to be the heavy, which put a wedge between them that added to their home’s dysfunction. What we talk about in this episode is what pulled us out, and the term ‘emotional regulation’doesn’t adequately cover it. I made a decision while I was outlining this episode not to use that phrase, because I think it gets thrown around in a way that misses what you’re up against in the real world. Regulating is one thing. Planting your feet while a young person rages at you - and not picking up the rope - that takes something closer to durability. Stamina. Sturdiness. Here is why we chose this topic: it is one of the most powerful things in this entire experience you are completely in charge of. You can’t control whether they show up for work, school or court. But this one is yours, and you can start on it today and feel something shift by the end of the week. I also tell a story involving ten dollars and a vacuum, as a real world example of why emotional durability is crucial for your sanity and your child’s growth. If you’re exhausted and need something to change this week, this is for you. YOU'LL LEARN: Why I stopped using the phrase emotional regulation, and what Cathy and I use in its placeThe moment Cathy realized she had handed her parental authority over, and what it cost at homeThe ten dollar story with the vacuum that I still cringe aboutWhere dysregulation shows up in your body first, and why that is the signal to work withWhy the low stakes moments are where this can start growing in youEPISODE RESOURCES: Self coaching questions, Hopestream podcast Episode 333Self coaching questions, Hopestream podcast Episode 328Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People ChangeBeyond Addiction WorkbookFree e-book, Worried Sick: hopestreamcommunity.org/worried Free two-week trial of The Stream: hopestreamcommunity.org/try This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    Becoming Emotionally Sturdy When Your Child Struggles, with Cathy Cioth

  3. Jul 30

    The Guilt That Helps You and The Guilt That Just Hurts, with Brenda Zane

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: You have probably rehearsed the apology. I'm sorry I didn't catch this sooner. I'm sorry I wasn't a better parent. I'm sorry this is happening to you. If some version of that speech runs on a loop in your head, this quick solo episode is me asking you to put it down. Real accountability matters. If there is something you actually did that caused harm, owning it is valid and important. But that is not the same as taking responsibility for your kid's choices, their biology, a disease you didn't cause, or life's timing. Most of the guilt I hear from parents lives in that second category, and it is quietly stealing the energy you need for what's sitting right in front of you. In this episode I talk about why so much of what we call guilt is actually something else wearing a disguise, and I give you a litmus test that tells you in one question whether you're making a real apology or doing something else entirely. I also take you back to one of the heaviest seasons of my own life, when my son was transported to wilderness therapy at 16 and I spent months buried under a mountain of shame. What I was doing during that time, and what I wasn't doing, taught me the difference between guilt that sharpens how you show up and guilt that just corrodes. I close with a short pen and paper exercise that might leave you staring at a nearly empty page, in the best possible way. There is no award for the most guilt-ridden parent on the planet. If there were, I would have already won it. Consider this your permission slip. YOU'LL LEARN: Why "I'm sorry I didn't catch it sooner" is not the apology you think it isThe difference between real accountability and misdirected responsibility, and why collapsing the two keeps you stuckThe two emotions parents often carry that get mistaken for guiltA one-question litmus test that separates a real apology from self punishmentA five minute writing exercise that shows you how much of your self blame is actually yoursEPISODE RESOURCES: Free e-book, Worried SickTry The Stream free for two weeksAnger Solo - Podcast Episode 335 This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    The Guilt That Helps You and The Guilt That Just Hurts, with Brenda Zane

  4. Jul 23

    Anger: The Emotion You're Not Supposed To Feel But Definitely Do

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: There's an emotion most of us are carrying that we don't talk about, because we're pretty sure we're not allowed to feel it. Anger. Anger at where our kid's choices have led our family. Anger at what they're doing to themselves. And underneath it, a heavy layer of guilt for feeling any of it at all. In this solo episode, I'm getting honest about it, starting with a distinction that changes everything: anger at your child is not the same as anger at the situation. One of them usually isn't anger at all. It's grief wearing a really convincing mask, and it needs a completely different response. There's a cultural script that says good parents don't get angry at a struggling kid. We're supposed to be endlessly patient, compassionate, calm. I have yet to meet one person who pulls that off all the time. So the anger goes underground, and it leaks out sideways: sarcasm, silence, blowups over nothing, or shame that quietly eats at you while you look perfectly fine on the outside. I'm also telling you my McDonald's parking lot story, the day my anger completely took the wheel and I said things to my son I never meant. I'm not exempt from any of this. Nobody is. Then I'll walk you through a different way to see anger entirely, one that turns it from something that owns you into something that informs you, plus real things you can do with it starting today. If you've been carrying anger and beating yourself up for feeling it, come listen. You are so.not.alone. YOU'LL LEARN The one distinction that determines whether your anger needs a boundary or something much softerWhere buried anger actually goes, and who ends up paying the price for itA reframe that turns anger from a character flaw into useful informationWhat happened in a McDonald's parking lot that taught me how emotional reactivity can wreck a moment (or longer)How to tell the difference between releasing your anger and just avoiding itEPISODE RESOURCES: The Dance of Anger, Harriet LernerHopestream ResourcesEpisode 174This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    Anger: The Emotion You're Not Supposed To Feel But Definitely Do

  5. Jul 16

    THC-Induced Psychosis: What Parents Need to Know Now

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: This episode is long overdue, and I know many of you have been waiting for it. Over the past two to three years, the conversations in our community have shifted. It used to be all about opiates and fentanyl. Now a huge number of our moms are watching their kids change right in front of them because of high-potency THC products, and it is happening fast. So I brought together three people with very different vantage points on THC-induced psychosis and what it is doing to developing brains. First you'll hear from Lynne, a battle-tested mom from The Stream who is living this right now with her son. She shares what the early signs looked like in her home, what she wishes she had known, and the one shift that changed her conversations with him. Then I sat down with Dr. David Rowe, Director of Neuropsychology at United Assessment. He explains what psychosis actually looks like (it is rarely what you see in the movies), when it becomes a medical emergency, and how a solid psychological evaluation can finally answer the question every parent asks: what is driving the bus? Finally, Stefan Bate, co-CEO of Jaywalker Lodge, returns to the show. He has spent almost two decades in this field, and what he is seeing in treatment today stopped me in my tracks. The product your kid is using is not the marijuana you remember. Not even close. This is a heavy topic, but you will leave with real information and real hope, because recovery is possible. My guests see it happen every day. If you have ever looked at your child and wondered, what am I actually seeing right now, this episode is for you. YOU'LL LEARN Why “it’s just weed” no longer means what it did a generation agoThe subtle signs of psychosis that are easy to explain away as something elseWhat a psychological evaluation can reveal, and the sobriety myth that stops families from getting oneThe reason THC-related psychosis is catching even seasoned treatment providers off guardA reframe that could change how urgently you respond to your child’s useEPISODE RESOURCES: Dave Rowe, Ph.D., United Assessment websiteStefan Bate, Jaywalker Lodge websiteDownload our THC Guide For ParentsFree e-book, Worried SickTry The Stream free for two weeksHopestream episode 259 with Stefan Bate on recovery captialThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    THC-Induced Psychosis: What Parents Need to Know Now

  6. Jul 9

    Practical Ways To Coach Yourself When Your Child Struggles With Alcohol or Drugs, With Cathy Cioth

    You find the vape pen, or the pills, or the empty bottle at the bottom of the laundry basket. You take it, because that was the boundary. Within minutes your house goes from zero to two hundred: threats, slammed doors, a kid you barely recognize. Every instinct says respond right now, and if you are like Cathy and me, you do. Then you spend the next day trying to undo everything you said. This episode is the practical companion to the self-coaching questions I shared in episode 328. Cathy and I walk through what we are calling Stream Vignettes, composite scenarios pulled from years of coaching calls, community posts, and our own homes. The confiscation that explodes. The natural consequence you have to sit through with your heart in your throat. The suicide threat that arrives attached to a demand for money. The family vacation you keep hoping will fix things. For each one, we get into the questions that slow you down before you react, starting with the one we ask first every single time. We also cover what these questions are not for, which is a conversation I clearly needed about fifteen years ago. What stayed with me most is something we kept circling back to: there is no expiration date on your response. Nothing requires you to handle the worst moment of your week at three in the morning. Cathy and I both have stories about what happens when you try. If your home has a moment like this coming, and most of ours do, keep this one where you can find it. YOU'LL LEARN: The question Cathy and I ask first in every single scenario, before anything elseWhat your child's explosion over a confiscated substance is actually telling youThe advice therapists gave us about suicide threats, even when you’re pretty sure it’s a negotiation tacticWho you are really rescuing when you cannot let a natural consequence play outWhy there is no expiration date on your response, and what to say while you figure it outEPISODE RESOURCES: Hopestream podcast ep. 328 - 10 Self-Coaching Questions - Part 1Rawly Glass on Hopestream podcast 324 - consequences don’t workThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    Practical Ways To Coach Yourself When Your Child Struggles With Alcohol or Drugs, With Cathy Cioth

  7. Jul 2

    Hard Conversations: Have Them Today, with Cathy Cioth

    Trigger Warning: this episode discusses loss of a child due to substance use. Please decide if this is the right time to listen.  A few weeks before this episode was recorded, one of the moms in our community lost her son. He had been through treatment, through sober living and had the most supportive family. His parents had done everything possible, with grace and with love, and he still lost his battle with addiction. Cathy and I went back and forth about whether to talk about it - because we never want to add to the fear that already lives in your chest every single day. But we’re asking you to do hard things, and that means we have to do the same. This is the reality of what our kids are facing. High-potency THC is not the weed of twenty years ago, and we are talking to parents every week whose kids are in crisis from it, not from fentanyl, not from meth, but from what many still consider the ‘safe one’.  We also talk about something we haven’t directly addressed on this show: vicarious trauma in our kids. The bullying on their phones where we can’t see it. The friend who overdosed in front of them. The violence at school they never mention. These are often the invisible fire under the behaviors that make no sense to you. One thing stayed with me after we finished recording: the idea of speaking to your child as if every word might be the last they ever hear from you. Not in a morbid way, but as a filter. As a way back to what matters most. If you have been putting something off because it feels too hard, or not quite urgent enough yet, this one is for you. YOU’LL LEARN: Why Cathy and I almost did not share what happened, and what changed our mindsWhat high-potency THC is doing to adolescent brains and why parents shouldn’t dismiss it as ‘safer’ than other substancesThe invisible traumas your kid may be carrying that explain the behaviors you can’t make sense ofHow to not pick up the rope when every instinct tells you toWhat one parent said about speaking to your child that might change your next interaction with themEPISODE RESOURCES: Stages of Addiction: Hopestream podcast episode 322This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    Hard Conversations: Have Them Today, with Cathy Cioth

  8. Jun 25

    After Treatment: What the First 90 Days Really Look Like, with Beth Hillman

    When Beth Hillman's son came home from wilderness treatment, the first crisis didn’t come from him. It came from her. Standing in the driveway, anxious and spiraling, she watched her teenage son look at her calmly and say, "Mom, look at me. I'm gonna be okay." Her first thought was not relief. It was, oh! I’m in big trouble. Her son had come home with more access to his thinking brain than she had. He also came home to a mother who had not yet done her own work and was carrying expectations she could not even name. When he finally told her, "Mom, your expectations of how this is gonna go are going to wreck me," Beth had to get honest about what she was really asking of him. Today Beth is a double certified life and parent coach, host of the Parenting Post-Wilderness podcast, and a familiar voice in our community, where she leads sessions and groups for parents in the fragile season after treatment. In this conversation, we get real about the first 90 days after a child comes home, from both sides. Why kids may agree to everything just to get home, why pushback on a home plan might be the best sign you can get, and what your child is actually walking back into when they return to the house where the holes in the doors are. Beth names the piece most home plans are missing, and I think it will change how you prepare. If your child is coming home from treatment soon, or is already home and wobbling, this episode was made for you. YOU’LL LEARN: The driveway moment that convinced Beth she was the one in troubleWhy kids check every box to get home, and why that is not manipulationWhat her son said about her expectations that stopped Beth coldThe green flag most parents mistake for defianceThe almost too simple practice Beth reached for when her brain went offlineEPISODE RESOURCES: Beth’s website - www.bethhillmancoaching.comBeth’s podcast, Parenting Post WildernessBeth on Hopestream podcast episode 279Information on PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    After Treatment: What the First 90 Days Really Look Like, with Beth Hillman
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When your teen or young adult is misusing drugs or alcohol, you need more than just tactics—you need hope, healing, and a path forward for your entire family. Hopestream delivers expert guidance and emotional support for parents navigating their child's substance use and mental health struggles. Hosted by Brenda Zane, Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained Parent Coach who nearly lost her son to addiction, this podcast goes beyond "how to get them into treatment" to address the full ecosystem of this journey. Episodes features: Leading addiction, prevention, and treatment expertsReal stories from families who've been thereEvidence-based strategies for helping your childSelf-care and coping tools for parentsDeeper conversations about finding meaning, joy, and even unexpected blessings through the hardest times Whether you're dealing with a teen or young adult's drug use, alcohol misuse, or co-occurring mental health challenges, Hopestream offers the comprehensive support other parenting and addiction podcasts miss. This is your safe space to heal, learn, and discover you're not alone. New episodes weekly. Join us between the episodes at hopestreamcommunity.org.

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