Are you struggling to get your wife back? Marriage on the brink of divorce? The only one trying to save the relationship and keep the family together? Stephen Waldo from Husband Help Haven shares powerful insights based on his experiences with over 2,500 men going through separation. Advising men going through separation since 2011, he has seen marriages saved from a wife wanting separation, wife having a physical affair (or emotional affair), wife going through a midlife crisis, facing divorce, husband struggling with pornography addiction, depression, childhood trauma, and more. Through a mix of solo shows, interviews, reader Q&A, direct advice and a sprinkle of marriage philosophy, he says, "My goal is always to help you be the best husband, father and man you can be, no matter what your marriage is like right now - even if your wife wants out." Subscribe today and start moving forward.
How Much Longer Until She Comes Back?
"Stephen, I know you can't tell me an exact timeframe, but based on your experience, how much longer do you think this separation will last? How long 'til she comes back? How long til she pushes through the divorce?"
I get this sort of question a lot, and I understand why. Separation is hard. Being able to have some reasonable expectation of how much road you have left to travel would help you set realistic expectations.
Obviously I can't predict the future, but today I'm going to walk you through seven questions that you can ask yourself to help figure out how much longer your separation might last.
The factors we address in these questions each affect the duration of a separation, so knowing where you stand in these areas will help you predict if you'll end up on the long side of an average separation, or not. Plus, I'll tell you how long the average separation lasts so you have a sort of baseline to work from.
If you want to see a sort of "cheat sheet" for these factors, head on over to https://husbandhelphaven.com/how-much-longer/
Marcus Farris Shares His Journey Through Separation, Infidelity & Divorce
Show notes for this episode at https://husbandhelphaven.com/marcus-interview/
Not every story has a happy ending.
Or maybe, the happy ending isn't always what we believe it will be.
That's exactly the case for Marcus Farris, a former Peace & Control student who is now living on the other side of divorce. In today's episode, we sit down to talk honestly about what happened in his marriage, separation and divorce. He bares his heart and shares all his struggles and successes that he experienced on his journey through marriage crisis.
Even though Marcus didn't end up saving his marriage, he is still every bit a success story in my book. As you listen to his story, you'll see what I mean - he learned the hard way that you can't put your full worth and happiness in the hands of another person. But what came out the other side of that hard lesson is a man who is loving, confident and impactful.
In addition to generally sharing his story, a few specific topics we hit on in our extended conversation include...
How did he handle his wife's infidelity? Did he confront the other man? What most helped him survive his marriage crisis? How does he reconcile the reality of his divorce with his belief as a Christian that God is good and hates divorce? It was a privilege of the highest order to host Marcus on today's podcast. If you like hearing his insights, be sure to check out his new book that goes deep on his journey through divorce. It's called No Less Faithful and you can get his free Love-Loss-Recovery one-week plan at https://www.nolessfaithfulbook.com/
From Friendship To Attraction Once She's Started Coming Back
In the last episode, we talked about how to get out of your wife's friend zone when you're early in the separation... But what about when you're beginning to rebuild the marriage on the other side of separation?
What do you do when your wife is starting to come back, but can't seem to get those pesky "feelings" back?
That's the subject of this week's episode. We'll talk about developing an effective mindset to survive this phase of separation, and what you can do to lead the way from a genuinely renewed friendship with your wife back to a loving, happy marriage.
How To Get Out Of Your Wife's "Friend Zone" During Separation
"Stephen, my wife and I get along great, but she has no attraction to me. I think I'm stuck in her friend zone. What should I do?"
This is the question we'll be answering on today's episode of the Husband Help Haven Podcast. I'll tell you right now, I don't particularly like the term "friend zone", but it's one that many separated men use when describing their current relationship with their wife.
In this episode, I'll tell you why I don't like the term, what I think the actual problem is, and what you should do if you're in this position. Here are some of the topics we'll cover:
When does this friend zone question come up? Why I don't like using the term in separation? What the friend zone problem actually describes? What are some solutions to your wife's awareness of mismatched attraction? If you'd like insight into any of these questions, grab a cup of coffee and start listening!
Thankfulness During Separation - The Key To Waiting For Your Wife
Thankfulness and marital separation seem like they'd go together about as well as oil and water...
What could you possibly have to be thankful for when your life as you knew it has been thrown into upheaval?
In this episode, we're going to talk about three things:
Why thankfulness is important and how it will help you navigate separation better Specific things you can be thankful for, even when you're separated What you should do when gratitude feels impossible Whether you're celebrating Thanksgiving this week or not, gratitude is timeless and it has a direct relationship with how much confidence you retain as you navigate through your separation.
Because when you seek gratitude in no man's land, you refuse to let yourself be dominated by negativity - despite the discouraging, seemingly impossible obstacles that may lie in front of you, you can still determine yourself to seek humble thankfulness to combat your pride and keep your motives where they need to be.
I'm not saying this is the silver bullet that's going to transform your marriage overnight. But when you set an example of thankfulness to your family and perhaps even to your wife, even when life is difficult, that has very real value - and that's why we're talking about it today.
Holidays During Separation - 7 Tips To Make The Most Of Christmas and Thanksgiving When Your Wife Wants Out
The holidays can be tricky when you're separated. Made worse by the fact that the new year is often a time where a separated wife may choose to move forward with divorce.
How do you make the most of this holiday season if you're already separated? What can you do to get the best possible chance of positively impacting your wife's decision about the marriage? What if your wife has already come out and told you she plans to file after Christmas? In this episode, I'll share the 7 most common pieces of advice that I give men at this time of year. These are tips intended to help you stay stable, focused and confident as you navigate the last weeks of the year.
Listening to the podcasts and they are very helpful. I’m currently going through my first separation and is very hard to deal with but learning what he is talking about is helpful.
Stay on the Path!
I found the Haven back in October 2019 about 2 weeks after discovering my wife’s 10month long affair. On the beginning the Haven really helped me. I began to focus on WHATBI COULD CONTROL and the things I couldn’t. After about 5weeks my wife says she noticed a difference in me but that she didn’t want to give me false hope. This was her questioning whether what she saw was real or not. A couple months later I lost focus around the holidays and her affair partner was pushing her to move out. We have 3 young kids and she chose the AP and moved out. I wish I hadn’t lost focus because I think things would be different today. Nevertheless I’m refocused today and I listen to these podcasts to remind me of my path to focus only on what I can control. I’m starting from scratch but these hiccups can happen and I’ve learned from it and I’m gonna be the best person I can be when all is said and done and maybe just maybe I’ll be the best husband as well and my wife will see that one day.
Thanks Stephen for the literature and Podcats!
There when I needed it.
I came to this show in desperation after coming home to an empty apartment. I was angry and bitter but I did whatever this guy said. Soon my relationship with my wife went from hostile to calm/serious. From there I could see way a forward. Be humble and be the best dad you can be. The rest will work itself out. Good luck to everyone out there and it doesn’t hurt to take this podcast seriously.