200 episodes

Learn the secrets of saving a troubled marriage, and the methods to improve any marriage. Join Dr. Lee Baucom as he explores practical ways to save a marriage. Gain the understanding and tools you need in order to successfully solve your relationship problems with love and respect.

The Save The Marriage Podcast Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.5 • 251 Ratings

Learn the secrets of saving a troubled marriage, and the methods to improve any marriage. Join Dr. Lee Baucom as he explores practical ways to save a marriage. Gain the understanding and tools you need in order to successfully solve your relationship problems with love and respect.

    Dealing with Negativity

    Dealing with Negativity

    It happens.  In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity.  A spouse negative about the marriage.  Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage.  You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt).



    Negativity comes from several sources:  fear, protectiveness, anger, resentment, lack of understanding, and lack of clarity.



    Regardless of the source, you may find yourself reacting poorly -- negatively impacting your capacity to save and improve your marriage.



    Is there another alternative?



    You bet there is!



    I would suggest four ways to respond that can change the outcome.  Listen to the podcast for the four ways you can respond differently to the negativity, making sure that you don't catch it yourself.  Listen below.



    RELATED RESOURCES:

    You Need A Plan

    Dealing With Your Resentment

    Dealing With Your Spouse's Resentment

    Grab The Save The Marriage System

    The Anger/Blame/Shame Dance

    The Anger/Blame/Shame Dance

    Do you ever feel like you are dancing with your spouse... and not a fun dance??



    Most of the time, couples get into habits. They both know the steps, and they just keep going through them, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3....



    No, the dances aren't particularly helpful. And yes, we keep dancing them, anyway!



    One dance that many couples fall into is the Anger-Blame-Shame 3-step. And that particular dance? It keeps on repeating. Except that the anger grows. So does the blaming.



    And so does the feeling of shame! "Why can't I/we figure this out?", they wonder.



    And then, they dance it again.



    How can you stop the dance? How can you find better steps? Better ways of moving through life?



    That is the topic of this podcast episode (listen below). I tell you about those dance steps and why we do them... along with how to make a shift.



    RELATED RESOURCES

    Show Up

    Anger and Resentment (Yours)

    Anger and Resentment (Your Spouse's)

    Stepping Up

    The Save The Marriage System

    Why Your Spouse Doesn't See A Change

    Why Your Spouse Doesn't See A Change

    You've been working hard. You've been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yourself. You've been trying to build a connection with your spouse, slowly and steadily.



    You feel good about what you are doing. You believe you are gaining grown.



    But then, your spouse doesn't notice any change at all!



    What happened? Why can't your spouse see the changes?



    It can be challenging, frustrating, hurtful, and downright defeating. But there is a reason your spouse isn't noticing (or admitting to noticing) the changes.



    In fact, there are 3 reasons why your spouse doesn't see the changes.



    Let's take a look at the 3 reasons, and start creating a strategy to make those changes visible.



    Listen below.



    RELATED RESOURCES:

    "Can Every Marriage Be Saved?"

    "Can MY Marriage Be Saved?"

    How One Person Did It!

    Save The Marriage System

    Limiting Beliefs Limiting Your Marriage

    Limiting Beliefs Limiting Your Marriage

    It almost seems redundant, doesn't it? If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something -- say, for example, your marriage.



    I say IF you have limited beliefs.



    Full disclosure: We ALL have limited beliefs that are limiting us. We ALL have blind spots, assumptions, even untrue beliefs. We just don't notice them. And we pay a price for that.



    Especially since we usually fail to notice or address these limiting beliefs.



    Do you think your limiting beliefs MIGHT be limiting your life and your marriage?



    I'm betting that is the case, since it is true for all of us.



    Here's the good news: you can change your limiting beliefs. Once you know what they are. And decide to change them



    Listen below for this week's podcast.



    RELATED RESOURCES

    Myths About Marriage (And Saving It)

    Fears That Hold You Back

    Is Your Spouse Stuck?

    Grab The Save The Marriage System

    Are You Dissing Your Marriage? 3 Ways....

    Are You Dissing Your Marriage? 3 Ways....

    I am way too uncool to ever use "Diss" in a conversation.



    That said, I will drop it into a headline, because I see too many couples "dissing" their relationship, without even meaning to.



    Distraction, Disinterest, and Disconnection lead to Disrespect of your relationship.



    And it often becomes habit, usually without you meaning to.



    The bad news is, these 3 ways you "diss" a relationship eat away at the foundations.



    The good news is that once you know what you are doing, you can change it. Even turn it around.



    Learn how you are dissing your marriage, and how to stop in this week's podcast.



    Listen below.



    RESOURCES:

    Power of Connection

    Marriage Crisis Mistakes to Avoid

    Why Your Efforts May Be Failing

    Save The Marriage System

    The Danger of the Shortcut

    The Danger of the Shortcut

    I admit it.  The phone call got under my skin.  We were traveling and I answered the call.  The person asked if I was the "save the marriage guy."  I told him I was.  He told me he didn't want my System.  Just the secret, the "short-cut."



    When I told him he needed the whole System, he said he didn't want to go through all of that.  He just needed the "trick," the short-cut.



    We went round and round for a couple more minutes.



    I realized I was not going to convince him, but all the "short-cuts" he had been trying is what got him to here.



    He hung up, likely still looking for the "short-cut."



    And I was left thinking.  Wondering.  Pondering.



    And realizing that there is a distinct difference between being efficient and trying to find the "trick."  Those "tricks" are all the things on the internet about "hypnosis," "reverse psychology," "spells," or any of those other manipulations.



    You can be efficient in your efforts.  You can be effective in your plan.  But not by taking the "short-cuts" that are really just tricks.



    Can I tell you more about this?  Listen to the podcast below.



    RELATED RESOURCES

    Reverse Psychology is Dangerous

    No-Contact is Crap

    Don’t Choose Manipulation

    Grab My Save The Marriage System

    • 16 min

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5
251 Ratings

251 Ratings

Jkvanderford ,

So helpful

Absolutely wonderful. I have listened to >100 episodes so far. My spouse isn’t listening yet, but still praying. Very practical and helpful.

hair62 ,

Thank you June 2022

I have just listened to my first podcast.. it was on connection. It was a good session! Thank you!

Dr. GZ ,

Every married couple should listen to this podcast

In 2017, I found out my wife was having an affair. I was devastated and searched numerous sources for information trying to discover why and how this happened. Dr. Baucom delves into infidelity but focuses primarily on the relationship. Focusing on the marriage was the change that I needed to help me get past the affair. The marriage was the one thing that we could change. I continue to listen routinely to Lee and continue to learn. Our marriage is in a good place right now. “Your marriage can be healed and saved with the right information”.

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