Living WOW Out Loud: Thriving With Autoimmune Diseases CallyRae Stone

Last week I promised you that I would introduce you to some interpreters for Body Language. The crazy thing is that you are innately equipped to speak fluent Body Language but just like any language you need to learn, practice, and refine your communication skills.

Living in the modern world with access to information and technology on a continual basis has in many ways stunted our development and understanding of Body Language. Continuous and often loud or conflicting messages can be overwhelming to tune out and go within to hear and feel what your body is speaking to you.

The conversation starter questions I introduced last week can be paired with these interpreters to plug in, practice, and develop fluency in Body Language.

Recognize that this is an ongoing process and resist the urge to get frustrated or feel like you are not “doing it right”. Remember that you are innately designed for this language. Just like you learned your native language in your home rapidly in the first 5 years of your life you have continued to refine and learn throughout your life.

If you don’t understand all of the nuances of Body Language immediately that’s normal. It’s not that you can’t. Find the modality that works best for you and build on it. You will likely find that as you become more fluent, opportunities will present themselves for you to go deeper and learn more and heal more. Life has a funny way of providing opportunities for you to learn Body Language. Recognizing and showing up in class to learn is the hard part.

I guarantee if you show up, your body will reciprocate and you will thrive as the expert in your body.

Although this list is not comprehensive, it is foundational and powerful. I specifically chose the modalities that are powerful, easy, accessible, and possibly already familiar to you. Again, don’t feel like you have to use all of them. Start with one or two and explore to see how it connects for you. Just like you had a favorite teacher in school you will likely find that you will find a favorite interpreter. As your skills or communication needs change you may choose a different interpreter that you aren’t ready for today.

Here are my top 8 Body Language Interpreters!

1~Breathwork

2~Meditation

3~Tapping/EFT

4~Massage

5~Yoga

6~Qigong/Tai Chi

7~Energy Work

8~Ama Bodywork/Reflexology

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One of the most obvious ways your body communicates with you is what you may recognize as a symptom. Your body speaks to you both negatively and positively but because of our human negativity bias for survival, you will likely focus on the pain in your back rather than the strength in your back. There is a natural tendency to focus on what is wrong rather than what is right.

Last week's episode introduced the concept that wholeness, health, and optimal vitality are the natural condition of the body. It is from that state of ease and flow that the body seeks to communicate. In other words, you are innately designed to thrive, seeking to maintain that natural state of health that has been sabotaged by the physical environment and human experience that the body navigates on a daily basis. You are also uniquely equipped to understand your Body Language as you remember the simplicity and truth that your body speaks.

Questions can be a powerful way to initiate communication and can help you maintain and deepen a conversation. Questions are essential to understanding and building a relationship. When you meet someone for the first time you may ask information-seeking questions such as "How are you?" or "How can I help you?". You likely ask and answer those questions throughout your day giving it little thought or effort because it allows for a superficial answer of "fine" or "I'm good".

If you have a relationship with your communication partner you may ask a deeper question such as "How was work/school?" "What would you like to eat for dinner?" The truth is that the time you spend asking questions and the depth of those questions is a direct reflection of your investment in the relationship.

Why is it so important to ask and not assume? Because everyone wants to be heard and know that they matter. Assuming automatically devalues the relationship putting it back to the superficial level of exchanges that you automatically sift through all day, every day without attention. Asking maintains and deepens the conversation, which in turn will maintain and deepen the relationship.

If you elevate this communication from an informal interaction to an intimate exchange it quickly moves from exchanging verbalizations to recognizing emotions and feelings. The door slammed with a longer than usual pause behind a locked bathroom door will surely lead to a different question and tone of compassion and concern. In contrast, when you notice the smile and spark in her eye and know exactly why she is glowing and can ask the question of how she wants to celebrate.

Here are 8 questions that you can start with. You may notice that each question correlates with one of the systems in the Framework to Becoming the Expert in Your Body. You'll also notice that the way that system speaks to you will be different and what you understand may develop as your relationship with that system within your body deepens and trust grows. Isn't that true in every relationship? The more you ask, the more you learn. The more time you invest, the more connection you create. The more you understand, the more you trust.



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In today's episode let's take a look, or really a listen, at what Body Language sounds like. You likely already have some familiarity just like you do when you see someone speaking sign language or hear a foreign language that you have familiarity with but not necessarily a personal understanding or use. You recognize some aspects but they don't carry any meaning for you because you don't have the pronunciation, vocabulary, or grammar to interpret them.

The amount you tune in to one of these foreign conversations is likely dependent upon your level of knowledge and interest. When you begin to study a language you begin to recognize the pronunciation or vocabulary and suddenly begin to listen or watch more intently to see if you can understand anything.

Body Language is interesting because it is not a language you hear or see but more accurately described as the voice you feel. Your body speaks through energy, emotion, feelings, thoughts, intuition, and sensations. The degree to which you tune in or recognize the language will increase as you develop more awareness and training with vocabulary and interpretation.

Another unique characteristic of Body Language is its innate nature. Unlike a native language that is learned based on where you were born and the language spoken in your family and community. You were born to speak Body Language which is universal to all humankind. Your Body Language is unique to you but it is a matter of remembering and understanding it, rather than learning the sounds, characters, and rules such as spoken and written languages.

Recognizing the simplicity rather than getting bogged down in the complexity of Body Language is refreshing as you learn this foundational skill for becoming the expert in your body. Starting from the understanding that health is the natural condition of the body, let's call it  "ease". Any kind of situation, behavior, or experience that moves your body away from the natural condition could be called "dis-ease".

Because your body is constantly trying to maintain the natural condition of ease, it speaks to you and within you continually to monitor and adjust for circumstances. Your physical experience is the outward manifestation of what is happening with that internal dialogue and as a result can be simply adjusted by tuning in and being a good listener.

In a very noisy world, the question is who are you listening to? Referencing back to the 8 Systems Framework you'll recall that there is a driver who usually gets all of the attention because she is in your driver's seat on this journey but the navigation system is actually the smarts of the operation because it is programmed with a perfect knowledge of your specific journey.

The driver is your mind that is constantly surveying the situation and your surroundings to keep you safe so that you make it to your destination. It is programmed with a negativity bias that focuses on survival at all costs. This is the mental tape running based on your beliefs, knowledge, and the messages of the world around you. The driver is skilled at keeping you safe but is not necessarily using all of the information available to you.

The navigation system is your spirit that is programmed not only with your destination but also the entirety of the journey and all of the specifications of your specific unique vehicle, aka your body. Your navigation system is able to see beyond the conscious and unconscious communications of the mind. This is the intuition you feel when something is right for you and it resonates with joy or peace or when something is not right for you and you feel unsettled or confused.

Tuning in to the conversation within, between the driver and navigation system, is where you begin to remember your Body Language and recognize the language as communication that has been drowned out by the noise of life.

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Last episode I introduced you to Body Language and invited you to take on learning the language that your body speaks to you. Did you do your homework? Did you learn to count to 8 in Body Language? If so you have a foundational knowledge of the communication environment of your body! Your binge listening and review of the 8 Lessons and the 8 Systems has created a communication-rich environment for learning.

If you haven't done your homework, you can still listen to today's language lesson but don't expect to become fluent if you don't practice. You must create an environment for learning and practice or you will never learn a new language. This Body Language series will build as we go so if you haven't yet, go back and binge a few hours of listening to get your learning environment primed for communication. 8 Lessons Lupus Taught Me can be found in the Bonus Episode series and the 8 System Framework to Becoming the Expert in Your Body summer series is found in episodes 13-21.

So just like your Spanish teacher starts speaking to you in Spanish when you enter the classroom, I'm going to immerse you in Body Language terminology as I teach you how to understand and communicate with your body.

Before we begin to learn vocabulary and translation it's important to first learn the foundational skills of communication. Namely joint attention, turn-taking, and topic maintenance.

These foundational skills are required in any communication exchange and may include both verbal and non-verbal components. A breakdown in any of these areas will result in a communication breakdown and either a misunderstanding or the abandonment of the communication exchange altogether. Because they are an essential foundation let's break them down a little to make sure you are able and willing to be an active and willing communication partner.

Is it any wonder that as a culture of SAD (Standard American Diet and Lifestyle) the communication dyad with our bodies has been ignored and lost resulting in the loss of Body Language that was widely recognized and understood by ancient civilizations?

Your body is innately designed to heal. Health is the natural state of the body. The communication of your Body Language is the outward physical manifestation of what is happening inward that you cannot see or touch but you can feel and experience.

Now that you have the basics of communication it's time to start translating. Join me next week as we begin to introduce some core vocabulary of Body Language so that you can regain the relationship you were born to have with your body.

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Are you ready to learn a new language in 2023? Learning a new language is proven to stimulate new neural pathways and keep the mind sharp. While it is true that the younger you are, the easier it is to learn a new language, it is possible to learn a new language at any age.

The language I would like to introduce you to is Body Language. This is not the body language you probably already speak fluently which we professionally refer to as nonverbal and pragmatic language. Rather, I am referring to the language of your body. How your body speaks to you and how you respond to those messages.

Becoming fluent in your Body Language is the secret to becoming the expert in your body and that is the mission of Living WOW. I have spent the past 30 years studying and teaching the brain and oral mechanisms of speech and language development and rehabilitation. I have also spent the past 15 years studying and teaching nutritional healing and lifestyle medicine. So is it any wonder that I recognize this unique communication we have within us and recognize the need for a universal teaching of Body Language?

I’m going to wager that you are completely unaware of your Body’s Language and that this concept is probably as unfamiliar to you as any foreign language you could learn in school or with an app. As a result, I’m going to break down the process of learning Body Language in a new series here on the podcast throughout the month of December. Over the next 5 weeks, I will introduce you to your Body Language and give you the tools to translate while you learn to listen, understand, and eventually speak fluent Body Language.

So first some basics. You cannot learn any language without a model. You cannot learn a language without rules or some sort of universal understanding. You cannot learn any language without practice. While it is true that language acquisition is an innately wired skill, it is still something you were taught either informally (your native language) or formally (additional languages) and likely a little of both. Meaning that you likely learned the languages you speak both informally through your family and community as well as formally through education and training.

Along those lines, you probably are adept at the language of your generation, profession, and culture. Examples of these language nuances are demonstrated in what is known as code-switching. An example is the difference in how we speak to our parents versus our friends. The way professionals speak universal jargon such as technology, medical, and financial terminology with ease and understanding but persons outside the profession need to have it “interpreted” into common language. Even within our culture and communities, language is used differently creating an understanding between some and disconnection with others. Don’t believe me? Would you be at all uncomfortable if the same language was used in church that is used at the bar?

So why do I bother to go into all of these details? Because you need to understand why you don’t speak Body Language when everything in your mind is telling you that you do. At best, you have what is known as “functional communication” which is basic survival communication. Think of the vocabulary and understanding of a 1-year-old. I have functional communication in American Sign Language (ASL), German, and Spanish with formal and informal training in each of them but I am in no way fluent in any of them. Why? Because I did not regularly practice and communicate with others using those languages so I forgot much of the vocabulary that was beyond the primitive basics like counting, personal needs, and greetings.

This weeks Homework: Learn to count to 8 in Body Language

8 Lessons Lupus Taught Me: From Surviving to Thriving with Autoimmune Diseases (Bonus Episodes) 

8 Systems Framework to Become the Expert In Your Body (Episodes 13-21)

As I record this podcast episode the house is brimming with the  sounds and smells of Thanksgiving. The 3rd Thursday of November is celebrated in the United States as a national holiday of Thanksgiving. A traditional feast to celebrate harvest and friendship creates an opportunity for family and friends to gather around a table and reflect and give thanks.

Since Living WOW Out Loud airs on Thursday mornings, if you are  listening in real time (maybe while the turkey is in the oven), then let me wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I pray you are surrounded by those you love this holiday and if the miles or circumstances separate may you be connected in your heart.

The topics of this month's podcasts have led us to this day. First, with the need for community and connection which is becoming more and more fragmented in our modern culture. Last week's topic was food for thought.  No holiday centers around food quite like Thanksgiving. So today we bring it all together with gratitude, the heart of Thanksgiving.

It is no secret that a thankful heart is good for you. Like the power of connection and the power of food, the power of gratitude is often underestimated. Don’t believe me? What was your go to behavior when you couldn’t sleep the other night because your monkey mind was busy worrying about work, family, and finances. Common responses to sleepless nights are turning on the TV, scrolling social media, or taking a sleeping pill.

What about this alternative? A powerful antidote for a sleepless night could be to write a note of gratitude to someone you appreciate.  The power of a paper thank you note has gotten lost in our modern society as emails and text correspondence have become the norm. There is something about a paper thank you that has permanence and uplifts. I personally cannot throw away a thank you note. 

When was the last time you personally wrote a thank you note? Reflect for a minute about how you felt when you were writing it. Were you overcome with worry? Nope. You were overcome with gratitude and the process of writing, addressing, and giving consumed your attention squeezing out whatever monkey mind could have been busy worrying about.

This is a simple example of contrast, but the reality is that it takes awareness and intentional choice to change automatic habitual behaviors. This is a great opportunity to exercise the Living WOW philosophy of “filling it so full of the good stuff that there’s no room for the bad”. What I mean by that is that by creating a series of intentional choices the neural programming is actively reprogramming and crowding out the old habitual behaviors that are SAD.

Like connection and food, gratitude has been shown to have positive health effects including better sleep, less depression, and general well-being. Links between gratitude and brain structures were also tied to social bonding, reward and stress relief. Maybe that's why it is so easy for me to see the relationship between connection, food, and gratitude. They each feel inextricably linked.

So my invitation to you today is to take this annual ritual of Thanksgiving and extend it beyond today. What exercise of gratitude works for you? Can you make it a part of your daily routine? Is it part of power up in the morning as you set your intention for the day? Or is it a part of power down as you reflect on your day? What areas of your life can be a bit healthier by replacing overwhelm, stress, or burnout by implementing gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation?

 For more ideas come visit livingwowcenter.com or Supercharge!