117 episodes

My name is Dr. Michelle Choi, and I'm an Internal Medicine doctor in Santa Cruz, CA. I left my medical career in September, 2020, to become a podcaster. I practiced medicine in the inpatient and outpatient settings for over 10 years, before making the major life decision to leave my traditional career as a doctor. I do not believe that we're doing enough to get to the underlying causes of what is causing illness. And the way in which healthcare is structured in our nation, if doctors simply don't have the time to talk with our patients, or if it's much easier to get insurance coverage for a pill for depression rather than counseling, whom are we really helping? Why not do more than just putting a band-aid on the issue?

After years of frustration, I decided to leave the career I'd worked my whole life for, in search of what may contribute to our feeling whole. I believe that we all have the capacity to be who we really are, not just a whiff of who we are. And perhaps by being honest with ourselves, can we unlock the key to our own healing, and find our path to a meaningful life. Join me on the Lost or Found podcast, as we contemplate the components of true health. Be your true advocate! Dare to be inspired!!

Lost or Found Dr. Michelle Choi

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 90 Ratings

My name is Dr. Michelle Choi, and I'm an Internal Medicine doctor in Santa Cruz, CA. I left my medical career in September, 2020, to become a podcaster. I practiced medicine in the inpatient and outpatient settings for over 10 years, before making the major life decision to leave my traditional career as a doctor. I do not believe that we're doing enough to get to the underlying causes of what is causing illness. And the way in which healthcare is structured in our nation, if doctors simply don't have the time to talk with our patients, or if it's much easier to get insurance coverage for a pill for depression rather than counseling, whom are we really helping? Why not do more than just putting a band-aid on the issue?

After years of frustration, I decided to leave the career I'd worked my whole life for, in search of what may contribute to our feeling whole. I believe that we all have the capacity to be who we really are, not just a whiff of who we are. And perhaps by being honest with ourselves, can we unlock the key to our own healing, and find our path to a meaningful life. Join me on the Lost or Found podcast, as we contemplate the components of true health. Be your true advocate! Dare to be inspired!!

    Ep. 116: Cultural Trauma with Jordan Thorpe

    Ep. 116: Cultural Trauma with Jordan Thorpe

    Generational trauma is trauma that extends from one generation to the next and can sometimes include cultural trauma. Cultural trauma begins when a group experiences a traumatic event that causes economic, cultural, and familial distress.  In response, people belonging to that group develop physical or psychological symptoms.  



    Today, we have Jordan Thorpe on the show to get the conversation started on cultural trauma, as he brings up his Native American heritage and the ethnic cleansing that occurred in America's past. The marginalization and violence imposed upon Native Americans is unfortunately one of many aspects of American history where populations have been suppressed and demoralized. Our legacy of injustice has created populations of very hurt people, such that they've carried the pain and anger for generations. But is the answer "an eye for an eye?" Or are there other ways in which we can heal our past wounds with compassion and understanding, and remember fully- so that we stop repeating past mistakes- and don't become like "them."



    Jordan Thorpe is a Santa Cruz native and entrepreneur, is a dedicated Real Estate Broker known for his local expertise and client-focused approach. Outside of work, he treasures spending quality time with his family, indulging in his passion for cooking, and diving into captivating books, embodying a balanced lifestyle of professional success and personal fulfillment.

    • 58 min
    Ep. 115: Colleen Murphy on Communicating with Teens

    Ep. 115: Colleen Murphy on Communicating with Teens

    The reality of having a teenager in the household has hit us hard, and to be honest with you, I feel like I am practicing restraint by not automatically being an ass back. I thought my daughter was gonna cause me more problems because she’s a girl, but I have to say, my teenage boy is much more irritating that I anticipated.  You see the surges of testosterone in his behavior, and I realize it’s hard to maneuver something new, but man, I often remind him to check himself.  Cute during certain moments, a raging maniac others, and then always horney.  O, M, God.  



    Here today to help us is the amazing Colleen Murphy! She is a Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator as well as Parent Coach, and now teaching parenting classes and workshops at the Live Oak Family Resource center,  You can find her at fromtheheadtotheheart.com.

    • 1 hr 13 min
    Ep. 114: Difficult Moms with Dr. Esther An, MD

    Ep. 114: Difficult Moms with Dr. Esther An, MD

    We are doing it!  Today on the podcast, we are discussing difficult moms. One of the ways in which I've been able to find purpose in, and add some reason to, my difficult relationship with my mom has been by talking with others with less than idyllic mom relationships. The mother-child relationship is a difficult one to begin with, don’t you think?  And sometimes, it can be even more messed up!?!  And I like speaking with my friend, Dr. Esther An, because well, we are both mostly past the angry phase and we see the relationship for what it is, as women, as daughters, and as moms. Let’s breathe together.



    Dr. Esther An was born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, and she still considers herself a Midwest person at heart.  She moved out to California in 2006 and has been enjoying the sun and fun ever since.  She is a Pediatric Critical care doctor here in Northern California and she is married with one child and two quirky cats.

    • 1 hr 12 min
    Ep. 113: First 2 Chapters of Untangling

    Ep. 113: First 2 Chapters of Untangling

    Hello friends! For this episode I'm going to share the first two chapters of my upcoming book Untangling: Liberating Myself from an Enmeshed Family and Impossible Medical Career. 



    It's really been a long ass journey, but I'm still standing! And I'm super excited that this book is close! And if you're enjoying the podcast, don't forget to rate the podcast, however you get your podcasts!



    I had been working as a doctor for almost 15 years when I had a full blown midlife crisis. I was supposed to have reached the promise land of success, and yet I found myself so unhappy, angry, and becoming someone that I was not. And then I threw it all away to become a podcaster. It was during this time that I thought about the reoccurring pattern in my life. I was enmeshed. At my corporate medicine job, I smiled, never complained about the increasingly impossible workload, didn’t cause any problems, and was becoming the kind of doctor I never wanted to be. 



    But my enmeshment didn’t start at work, I also had been enmeshed with my family of origin. Enmeshment happens when parents are unable to see their children as separate entities, when being “too close” can lead to a form of trauma. So much of my energy as a child was spent on making my dysfunctional parents feel better, being the only friend to my mentally struggling mother. I became a doctor for their approval! And for too long, I did not have a strong sense of who I was. 



    And well, like Humpty Dumpty on the wall, I fell hard but I decided to look at all the pieces.

    • 26 min
    Ep. 112: Generational Trauma with Ken Robins

    Ep. 112: Generational Trauma with Ken Robins

    Today, we talk about generational trauma with Ken Robins!



    Dr. Bruce Lipton, the author of The Biology of Belief, notes that we are programmed to live a certain way by those who take care of us. In turn, this affects how we live, a lifestyle we may not have knowingly chosen for ourselves. Glennon Doyle, in her book Untamed, calls it an unnecessary burden that is passed on. Some people call this family karma or family patterns. Others call it generational trauma. Because of the issues of the parents, siblings, or generational forefathers, there’s a certain energetic pattern that develops within the family at large as pain continues to get passed on.



    It’s remarkable how this traumatic bundle is unknowingly passed down for lifetimes. It could have started with one person, but others subsequently continue to follow the pattern and forget its origin. We are still connected to past generations and generations of people we never knew through dysfunction. Really kind of crazy if you think about it. Not only are we physically related to our distant and immediate family members, but we can still be living with their learned patterns and pain. 



    What sucked in their lives could be what sucks in our lives. 



    Ken Robins was born on 9/11/1944 during a bombing raid in London and grew up in extreme poverty and violence and has been seeking the safety and healing of healthy relationships ever since.



    He is fascinated by the potential for suffering to become a blessing and specializes in the healing of trauma and the promotion of ”safe attachment” in intimate partnerships.



    Ken was a group, couples and individual process leader at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur for 30 years and continues his private practice in Carmel Valley California.

    • 1 hr 28 min
    Ep. 111: Morally Injured with Dr. Tara Sood

    Ep. 111: Morally Injured with Dr. Tara Sood

    Moral injury exists in the practice of medicine, and it's not discussed. 



    It was originally coined by a psychiatrist to describe the wounds that form when a person's sense of what is right is betrayed by leaders of high status. Whether or not we think about it, we all hold a moral compass and sometimes we see this being jeopardized by what we partake in, witness, or fail to prevent. This is especially true in the practice of medicine, as people's health and lives are at stake.



    Some doctors call it burnout, and some may really be burned out, but unfortunately in medical practice, it's not just the doctor's problem. As healthcare has become corporatized, and the majority of doctors work for corporate, there is a bigger problem at large. When Dr. Wendy Dean noticed that the rate of suicide in doctors were higher than active military members, she surveyed docs to see how they were doing.  And she found that many were not unhappy due to burnout and working too hard, but because the healthcare system made it so difficult for them to care for their patients. 



    If you know a doctor or nurse, if you are a doctor or nurse, if you know a doctor who committed suicide, if you are a little or a lot unhappy, please consider listening to this episode. You may realize that you are not alone.  And, unfortunately, it's a topic that doctors cannot openly talk about at work. They're still calling it Burnout. 



    Dr. Tara Sood is a seasoned physician holding dual board certifications in Emergency Medicine and Lifestyle Medicine, boasting 18 years of experience in high-volume Emergency Departments. Complementing her clinical work, Dr. Sood extends her passion for healing to international humanitarian aid. With 7 years of hands-on experience in disaster relief and refugee care, she serves as a technical consultant for the International Medical Corps (IMC), leveraging her skills to enhance healthcare access for vulnerable communities worldwide. Outside of her medical practice, she finds joy in fostering dogs from a local rescue organization. Specializing in rehabilitating psychologically withdrawn dogs who have endured abuse and neglect, she provides them with care and attention, helping them heal and rebuild trust in humans.

    • 1 hr 7 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
90 Ratings

90 Ratings

Always Wanting to Learn ,

Great podcast!

I love listening to your shows and especially loved your latest episode where you read the first two chapters of Untangling. What a story, and so well written. I can’t wait for your book to come out!!

Your friend the nurse ,

Pain no more !

Dr. Michelle ! So great to hear of your podcast and listen to a few of your inspiring episodes. I was especially struck by the courage and humility from the last couple episodes with Alex Soto. It was so comforting to hear another person speak whole heartedly about pain. The body can be the landing place from past experiences both physical and emotional. So wonderful to hear about his skill and expertise and that we don’t have to live our lives in discomfort and can find a way to heal .I appreciate this topic on so many levels .

Lariwood ,

Very resourceful

Thank you, Michelle, for bringing in so much good, hands on wellness information into the podcasting sphere. I’m loving your podcast!

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