20 episodes
Michael Paul Michael Paul
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- Health & Fitness
My name is Michael, and I’m the author of the upcoming book Cornerstone the King. This book was a labor of love, and I’m eternally grateful for those who walked with me as I journeyed through the lands of deep depression, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, suicidal ideation, homicidal thoughts, and post-traumatic stress for over two years.
I describe my mental illness and healing journey in short blog chapters on my website and in this podcast.
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Chapter 20 - We Love You
Before writing this story, I reviewed my journal entries, therapy notes, and doctor notes. Tears brimmed occasionally as I remembered the raw and visceral emotions I had experienced on a roller-coaster ride that lasted about three years.
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Chapter 19 - Prayer - Part Three
We spoke pleasantries for a few minutes in the kitchen, then walked into their living room. The woman asked me to sit down on the chair as she and her friend opened their notebooks. She reviewed the steps of Unbound Prayer, then asked me to tell my story.
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Chapter 18 - Prayer - Part Two
This hour of prayer became my refuge and defense, and I looked forward to it each night. My mind was sticky, however, and I continued to worry about my heart.
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Chapter 17 - Prayer - Part One
Like much of this journey, I wasn’t expecting this prayer experience, but I accepted it as a gift. I didn’t expect the revelation I had on a slow walk before dawn the next morning on the beach. Nor did I expect the invitation from a retreatant to participate in…
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Chapter 16 - Military
I took the annual health assessment and told the nurse I was having homicidal and suicidal thoughts. The nurse told me to go to the base hospital. I met with a psychologist and went through the half-day suicidal protocols.
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Chapter 15 - Fall - Part Two
I couldn’t fall asleep. I couldn’t sleep on my back, and if I tried to sleep on either side, I heard my heartbeat. I knew what being scared to death meant. I was in Edgar Allen Poe’s A Tell-Tale Heart.
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