Robert Cialdini went undercover at used car lots, telemarketing rooms, and fundraising offices, taking notes on how compliance professionals move a person from no to yes, and he did it because he kept getting talked into buying things he did not want and wanted to know how it was being done to him. The book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion was the result. He wrote it as a self-defense manual for regular people against manipulative sales tactics. It barely sold. Then marketers and salespeople found it. An entire industry picked up a book written to protect buyers and turned it into the field guide for converting them, which is how reciprocity, social proof, authority, scarcity and the rest ended up in a sales training I sat through years ago, handed over as a set of tools with the promise that once you understood them you would never struggle to sell anything again. Nobody in that room mentioned where any of it came from or the original intent Chialdini had with his work. Understanding these principles is important for small business owners because this is how people making buying decisions. It’s still important to share deadlines. It’s important to let people know when something is almost sold out. And we all use marketing to build that know, like, and trust with potential clients. This episode is about where the line sits between that and the manipulative marketing tactics taught right alongside it, and about the one question I run on any tactic to work out which side of the line it is on. If you have ever sat in a training, been handed a script, and felt the ICK about a tactic, that was not a money block or a mindset issue. That was data. And by the end of this episode, you’l have more clarity on how you can use these principles in a more aligned, honest, and authentic way for your business. What You’ll Learn in This Episode → The book that was originally written as a consumer protection guide to help regular foks protect themselves against manipulative sales and marketing tactics – that got used against us the moment marketing and sales professionals started using it as a playbook. → The #1 question I use to determine how to use a principle of persuasion in an ethical and honest way. → Why getting the ICK over a marketing or sales tactic isn’t a money block or mindset issue – it’s essential information about how you actually want to use these tactics. → Why manufactured authority can be dangerous and how just being ‘a couple steps ahead’ has launched an entire industry of fake experts. → How I think about using real, honest urgency and scarcity (including thinking about internal vs external urgency and scarcity) within my own sales and marketing. → Why I don’t just focus on testimonials and case studies that are the biggest revenue wins (in fact – focusing only on revenue misses so many other incredible wins and results that my clients experience). → Understanding what an honest approach to using the principles of persuasion costs you up front and the long-term benefits of putting PEOPLE and relationships over short term profits. Key Concepts from the Episode The Self-Defense Manual, Resold as a Weapon. Cialdini wrote Influence so that regular people could recognize persuasion tactics while they were being run on them. It sold badly until marketers and salespeople found it, at which point it became the bible of the exact thing it was written to defend against. A book meant to hand people their power back got resold as the system for taking it. Information or Interference. Every principle in the book can be run honestly or run to shut down critical thinking, and the tactic itself will never tell you which one is happening. The question does. Is this giving me what I need to decide, or is it making it harder to think? The Ick Is Information. A woman says a script does not feel right to her and gets told the feeling is a money block, a mindset issue, a lack of commitment. The feeling is reading something real about the tactic, and training her out of it is the point. Your discomfort is the only thing in that sales training nobody is being paid to sell you. Manufactured Authority. Looking three steps ahead of someone and calling it expertise, then creating a Mess to Success entrepreneur origin story is not real authority on the subject. True expertise requires deep work and study, education, and hands on experience. Being just 2 steps ahead is not real expertise. Who Absorbs the Cost of a Wrong Yes. When the tactics shut down critical thinking, the buyer carries the entire cost of the bad decision, the money and the time and a little more of her own self-trust. When they do not, the seller carries part of it, in the form of the sales she turned down on purpose. The difference between a transaction and a relationship is who is holding the bill when the decision turns out wrong. Resources Mentioned The CEO Ceiling Assessment. Free live diagnostic on Tuesday, October 20 at 12pm ET, with a replay for anyone who cannot make it. Five areas where your capacity is quietly maxed out, scored green, yellow, or red, so you leave knowing which constraint is actually in your way. theceocollective.com/ceo-ceiling-assessment Influence, by Robert Cialdini.The book at the center of this episode, written as a psychological self-defense manual for buyers and adopted by the people it was warning them about. The principles of persuasion, explained in about ten minutes.The video Racheal promises on air as a plain-English walk through all seven. The CEO Supper Club.Racheal’s quarterly restaurant takeover in Richmond, Virginia with a local chef, thirty women entrepreneurs, and conversation that goes further than “so what do you do?” The thirty two seats are the legitimate scarcity example in this episode. The CEO Collective®. The membership where service-based, relational business owners install the 90 Day CEO Operating System® and learn to sell without borrowing anybody’s pressure tactics. The Matriarchy Would Never: Assume You Are The Safety Net.Episode 1 of the series, on the invisible labor built into almost every piece of business advice in circulation. The Matriarchy Would Never: Sell You Patriarchy in Pink. Episode 2, on who is selling to you and the personas engineered to make you trust them faster. This episode is the companion piece on how. FTC Endorsement Guides. The federal rules on testimonials and typical results that Racheal references in the social proof section. Connect with Me: Instagram: @racheal.cookTikTok: @rachealcookmbaLinkedIn: @rachealcookYouTube: @the_ceo_collectiveWebsite: The CEO CollectiveSubscribe & Review: If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! 🎤 Thanks for listening! I'll see you next week!