Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Cathy Chen
  • 4.5 (10)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

If you’re the parent of a teen, you know first-hand that your teenager isn’t telling you everything...uh, make that...anything about their life. We interview teens (and other non-teen experts on teens) to help you gain valuable insight into your teenager’s world. Because parenting is hard AF. Your hosts, the dynamic duo of Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera are teen experts (yes, that’s a thing!). We have worked as college admissions officers, prep school administrators, and have coached and mentored thousands of teens in our lifetimes.

  1. 2 HR. AGO

    Can You Really F-Up Your Kids? Parenting Myths, Mistakes, and the Truth About Raising Teens

    All parents worry about traumatizing their children. The truth is, if you’re a present parent who makes your child feel loved, screwing them up isn’t very likely! Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we discuss whether or not you can f-up your kids. In this conversation, you’ll find out why we believe it’s quite difficult to f-up your children, the complex combination of factors that typically cause dysfunction, how to ensure your child feels loved, accepted, important, and prioritized, and much more! We delve into finding a balance between over-parenting and under-parenting and why you can’t expect your teens to think and act like adults. We also explore why making mistakes won’t damage your children, important reasons to stay curious as a parent, and why constantly criticizing your children is probably the only thing that will actually screw them up. Thanks for tuning in! Key Points From This Episode: [0:03:24] Today’s topic of discussion: how not to f-up your kids! [0:04:24] Why traumatizing your children is quite unlikely.  [0:06:39] How a combination of factors causes dysfunction in youth, not a single thing.  [0:07:54] Why it’s imperative that your child feels love and acceptance to develop healthily.  [0:10:28] Finding the happy medium between over-parenting and under-parenting.  [0:14:59] The dangers of expecting your teenager to think and act like an adult.  [0:19:09] Why you don’t need to get everything right all the time as a parent.  [0:20:47] The importance of staying curious in parenting and including teens in decisions.  [0:24:50] Defining what high expectations and high support mean to us.  [0:27:15] One surefire way to make your child feel unloved: criticize them.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    32 min

  2. 6 DAYS AGO

    Teen Stress and Anxiety: Expert Tips from Jenn Gaskin, Educator, Mom, and Yoga Teacher

    Today's generation of children has a remarkable knack for deconstructing the world around them. They reject judgment, advocate for inclusivity, and go to great lengths to ensure every disenfranchised voice has a seat at the table. And let’s be honest—no one calls out hypocrisy quite like a teenager! Joining Cathy and Meredith to dive into an insightful discussion, is their friend, Jenn Gaskin. Tune in to learn more about Jenn, the challenges she’s observed with today’s generation, and the positives and negatives of their approach to life. The discussion touches on adolescent distress tolerance, managing teenagers, and supporting their nervous system and anxiety. Jenn also shares practical tools to help kids navigate stress and anxiety, along with advice for parents to help their children thrive through adolescence. Don’t miss this insightful conversation—start listening now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:00] How Cathy met their guest, Jenn Gaskin. [0:04:30] More incredible details about our guest, Jenn Gaskin. [0:06:30] The changes Jenn’s noticed, for better or worse, with our kids today. [0:07:55 The primary no-no with today’s generation. [0:09:47] The things that worry her about this generation. [0:12:20] They delve into a discussion about the level of adolescent distress tolerance. [0:16:15] The [not] “cliff notes version” Jenn wants parents to know about managing teenagers, their nervous systems, and anxiety. [0:24:50] Coping with anxiety: Jenn unpacks practical tools to help kids navigate anxiety. [0:30:15] How Jenn helped her own five children manage their anxiety. [0:34:00] Advice to parents navigating their children through adolescence. [0:36:15] A story of how the home atmosphere influences the thinking capability of students. [0:41:20] Sign up for the Village Mailing list to hear about upcoming workshops. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Jenn Gaskin on LinkedIn Jenn Gaskin Jenn Gaskin Email Gaskin Tutoring The Price of Privilege The Irreducible Needs Of Children Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    42 min

  3. 12/18/2024

    Debunking the Myths: The Power of a Liberal Arts Education

    Most kids have no idea what a liberal arts education really is, or why it might be a great choice!  Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we discuss a liberal arts education, why it’s beneficial, and so much more! We delve into what makes a liberal arts college unique, how it differs from a traditional university, the benefits of this kind of education, and what a liberal arts degree can be used for. We go on to discuss Meredith’s experience of being a liberal arts major and how it gave her an exploratory mindset before sharing our take on how kids can create relatively ordinary careers after studying abstract liberal arts degrees. We even tell you about 3+2/4+1 programs and how they work. Lastly, we remind you of the benefits of choosing a liberal arts program for your studies and encourage you not to ignore that as an option. Thanks for tuning in! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:50] Today’s topic of discussion: defending liberal arts majors.  [0:02:54] We explain what a liberal arts education actually is.  [0:07:52] Some examples of liberal arts colleges in the USA.  [0:09:57] What a liberal arts degree can be used for career-wise.  [0:13:19] The benefits of having a liberal arts education (according to Meredith). [0:22:56] How to make a ‘normal’ career from an abstract liberal arts degree.  [0:31:01] A breakdown of what the 3+2/4+1 programs are and how they work.  [0:33:14] We encourage you not to discount liberal arts programs as options for studies.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    36 min

  4. 12/11/2024

    The Real Talk on Teen Substance Use: Bella’s Story and What Parents Need to Know

    Have you equipped your teen to make informed choices about substance use? During this episode, Bella, a Senior at a Boarding School back East, joins us to share the inside scoop of what’s really going on at teen parties. Since the start of her high school career, she has been involved in advocating for teens with substance abuse issues. Join us for a look behind the scenes at what motivates kids to use substances at a young age including social pressure and the problem of mental health. We discuss the age-old belief that it’s safer to allow your kids to drink at home, and Bella offers her perspective on how easy it is for adults to tell if a young person is abusing substances. You’ll also hear about the level of access that suburban teens have to illegal substances, and Bella’s opinion on what it might look like to nurture an open and honest relationship with your child from a young age. This conversation also emphasizes the importance of educating your kids rather than punishing them. Thanks for tuning in.

    36 min

  5. 12/11/2024

    Mastering Letters of Recommendation: How to Stand Out in College Applications

    Letters of recommendation are so important in college applications, especially in the more selective colleges, and today, we are delving into why they need to be prioritized, the mistakes we see kids make, who to ask for letters, and more. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the role of letters of recommendation in college applications, the dangers of focusing on the number of letters you have over the quality of them, how it can become the determining factor for whether or not you get into a college, and so much more! We delve into the intricacies of the questionnaire the recommender will have to ask you before discussing the kinds of people teenagers should ask for letters of recommendation from. We even talk about why building relationships with teachers is imperative in building communication skills and how that will help future letters of recommendation and even make learning more fun. Finally, we pinpoint which kids get the best letters of recommendation and explain why they’re always the hardest workers. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:30] Today’s topic of discussion: letters of recommendation.  [0:03:23] The role of letters of recommendation in college applications.  [0:03:58] Why letters of recommendation are so important in applications.  [0:09:48] Where things go off the rails when it comes to these letters.  [0:13:53] All about the questionnaires that you have to fill out with the letter.  [0:15:32] The logistics surrounding asking for letters of recommendation. [0:17:25] The importance of developing relationships with your teachers.  [0:22:15] Why the kids who work hard get the best letters.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    25 min

  6. 11/27/2024

    Purpose-Driven Parenting: Helping Your Teen Find Their Path & Boost Their Well-Being

    Having a sense of purpose has been scientifically proven to increase your overall quality of life! So many college application essays are based on identity and most kids who find writing those essays easier have a sense of purpose already! Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are discussing the importance of developing a sense of purpose in teenagers. In this discussion, you’ll hear what purpose actually is, why having purpose is imperative, how you can help kids find their own, and how your own identity as a parent can affect your child’s sense of self. We talk about how your purpose will contribute to your overall wellness before delving into how you can find your purpose by identifying your values and getting out of your comfort zone. We even tell you why creating boundaries can inspire your kids into action! Finally, we encourage you to try a values exercise with your children. Thanks for listening! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:59] Today’s topic: helping seniors prepare essays about their identities.  [0:03:11] We define what purpose actually is and why it’s so important to have.  [0:06:30] How to help kids figure out what their purpose could be.  [0:10:07] Understanding how having a sense of purpose increases your overall quality of life.  [0:14:30] How your sense of purpose as a parent will affect your child’s own identity.  [0:20:06] Why purpose contributes to overall wellness and happiness.  [0:24:30] Getting out of your comfort zone and identifying your values to find your purpose.  [0:27:41] How to help your kids past procrastination, anxiety, and fear of essay writing.  [0:31:01] Purpose changing through life and something we’ve done that ties to our purpose.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Every Move You Make, I’ll Be Watching You: Why Modeling is Your Parenting Secret Weapon Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    39 min

  7. 11/20/2024

    Navigating Teen Love: What Parents Need to Know About Dating, Boundaries, and Healthy Relationships

    When adolescents start dating, it can be far more intense, serious, and potentially unhealthy than parents may be aware of. Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are discussing all things teen love and relationships and sharing advice for parents who may not know how to handle it. In this conversation, we dig into why relationship talks with your teen might feel uncomfortable but are crucial to start before the need becomes urgent. We cover what to keep in mind when your child becomes interested in dating, then walk parents through 10 signs of both healthy and unhealthy relationships, discuss how modeling good relationships can impact your kids, go over common mistakes in teen dating, and explain how a strong sense of self can empower teens in their romantic relationships. We also discuss why boundaries are imperative, why you need to meet your child’s boyfriend/girlfriend and their family, and the danger of too much permissiveness. Finally, we touch on the extra layer of complexity LGBTQIA dating adds to teenage relationships. You don’t want to miss this one, so be sure to tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Today’s topic: love and dating in teens.  [0:02:50] Why having relationship conversations with your teen can be uncomfortable.  [0:03:40] What to consider as your children become interested in dating.  [0:08:30] 10 Signs of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship to teach your teenagers about.  [0:09:46] The importance of modeling healthy relationships for your kids.  [0:11:58] Some of the mistakes we see teenagers make when it comes to dating.  [0:16:30] The kids that are the most successful and most problematic in relationships.  [0:18:00] Meeting to meet your kid’s partner and be aware of each family’s rules.  [0:22:31] Why the permissiveness around relationships is a slippery slope.  [0:24:56] The layer of complexity that having an LGBTQ+ child adds to teen dating.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    28 min

  8. 11/13/2024

    More Ways Independent College Counselors Annoy Us

    So many parents and teenagers fall into the traps independent college counselors set to sell their business as a foolproof way to get into good colleges. Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are here to discuss why that simply isn’t possible! There are no guarantees when it comes to college applications and focusing on what you think colleges may want instead of placing emphasis on the individual and what is best for them is hugely problematic. In this conversation, you’ll hear all about what irritates us about independent college counselors, what is missing in the college admission profession, and how we do things differently. We break down some of the problematic messaging these companies use before reminding listeners that families and teenagers have a choice when it comes to how they handle the college admissions process. We also discuss why candidacy building and having an application persona is simply marketing. Finally, we stress the importance of values and authenticity when helping adolescents develop into their adult selves. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to hear more!    Key Points From This Episode:   [0:01:25] Our irritation with companies taking advantage of the college admissions process.  [0:04:20] The dangers of ignoring the individual and focusing on what colleges want alone.  [0:08:12] What is missing in the college admission profession and why it’s problematic.  [0:10:34] A breakdown of some of the problematic college admission messaging.  [0:10:42] The benefits of competitive environments, even if you do not win.  [0:13:14] How to make room for time-consuming sports that you love and other activities.  [0:18:48] Why we shouldn’t expect teenagers to do meaningful research.  [0:21:34] A reminder that families have a choice in how they approach this process.  [0:26:00] Why candidacy building and creating an application persona is just marketing.  [0:26:42] Dangers of approaching college applications like this and the importance of values.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

    31 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.5
out of 5
10 Ratings

About

If you’re the parent of a teen, you know first-hand that your teenager isn’t telling you everything...uh, make that...anything about their life. We interview teens (and other non-teen experts on teens) to help you gain valuable insight into your teenager’s world. Because parenting is hard AF. Your hosts, the dynamic duo of Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera are teen experts (yes, that’s a thing!). We have worked as college admissions officers, prep school administrators, and have coached and mentored thousands of teens in our lifetimes.

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