Shrink For The Shy Guy

Dr. Aziz: Social Anxiety And Confidence Expert, Author and Coach
Shrink For The Shy Guy

Everyone has some level of fear in social situations. For you it might be meeting someone new, networking, dating, sales conversations, presenting, public speaking, or business meetings. In order to get to the next level in your life, create better relationships, find love, earn more money, or advance in your career, you must overcome fear, social anxiety, and self-doubt. In order to be outstanding, you must have confidence. That's where Dr. Aziz comes in. After struggling with shyness and social anxiety for 9 years, he decided to take life into his own hands and master confidence. A decade later, he is the world's leading expert on social anxiety and social confidence. He received a doctorate in clinical psychology from Stanford and Palo Alto Universities and now works as a confidence and success coach with people from all over the world. This show contains the profound and immediately life-changing information he teaches high-paying clients every day. Learn from the best about how to overcome social fear, gain confidence in dating, public speaking, sales presentations, business meetings, and all of life.

  1. The Hidden Dangers of People Pleasing

    2D AGO

    The Hidden Dangers of People Pleasing

    Are you caught in the gentle current of people-pleasing? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down the hidden dangers of being “too nice”—how it shows up in everyday decisions, subtly steers your life off course, and costs you more than you realize. With real-life stories (including a surprising run-in with a John Deere salesman), Dr. Aziz shows how saying “yes” when you mean “no” drains your power—and how to reclaim it. 🎧 Listen now to stop living for others’ approval and start living as the real you. ------------------------------------------------------- People-pleasing—sounds harmless, right? After all, isn't it just about being a nice person, accommodating others, and making sure no one gets upset? But here's the reality: people-pleasing is a dangerous game that subtly chips away at your confidence and can lead to big, negative consequences over time. Whether it's in your personal relationships, your career, or even your finances, playing nice can backfire, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected. In today’s episode, I’m going to break down the hidden dangers of people-pleasing and share powerful insights on how to start stepping into your authentic self, without the need to please others at the expense of your own well-being. If you’ve ever found yourself overcommitting or avoiding necessary conflicts just to keep others happy, this episode is for you. The Cost of People-Pleasing We all know that one person—maybe it’s you—who just can’t say no. Whether it’s lending money to friends and family, accommodating people’s demands at work, or giving up your personal time to make someone else happy, these behaviors seem harmless at first but can lead to resentment, burnout, and feeling like you’re not truly living for yourself. A big part of this people-pleasing pattern is avoiding conflict. The idea is to keep everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing your own needs. But this constant accommodation keeps you from making decisions that are right for you. Over time, this gives rise to feelings of frustration, unfulfillment, and even emotional exhaustion. The Hidden Signs of Low Confidence People-pleasing doesn’t just affect how you feel about yourself—it also impacts how others see you. One of the first signs of low confidence is subtle body language: avoiding eye contact, slouching, or adopting a posture that makes you appear smaller. These small actions communicate a lack of self-assurance, and while they may seem harmless, they reinforce the idea that you’re not worthy of standing tall in your own life. Another hidden sign is hesitancy in your voice tone. When you’re uncertain of yourself, you might end your sentences with a rising tone, almost as if you’re asking a question instead of making a statement. This lack of certainty can make others feel uncertain about you too, undermining your confidence and credibility. The Freedom of Saying “No” What if you could embrace the power of saying “no” without guilt or fear? That’s right—by breaking free from the need to please everyone, you start to reclaim your personal power. Imagine not having to justify yourself every time you set a boundary or choose to do what’s best for you. Setting boundaries is not only healthy but necessary for building real confidence. For example, when I tell my kids they can only play on their iPad for an hour, they might protest. They may call me “mean,” but it’s my responsibility as a parent to set limits for their benefit. It’s the same in all areas of life: saying “no” when needed shows you’re taking ownership of your decisions, and that is what builds true confidence. Step into Your True Power People-pleasing may feel safe and familiar, but it ultimately holds you back from becoming the confident, authentic person you’re meant to be. The key to breaking free from this cycle is to start saying no, setting boundaries, and practicing direct communication—even when it feels uncomfortable. Your confidence will grow as you take ownership of your life, make decisions based on your values, and stop trying to please everyone around you. The more you practice being authentic, the more you will step into the powerful version of yourself that’s always been waiting to emerge. Take Action Now So, what’s the first step? Start by reflecting on the costs of people-pleasing in your life. Think about the situations where you’ve sacrificed your needs to make someone else happy. What impact has this had on you? The more you see the true cost of constantly trying to please others, the more you’ll realize that this is not the life you want to lead. Remember, saying “no” isn’t just about rejecting others—it’s about choosing yourself. And when you start making choices that honor your needs, your confidence will naturally follow. You are worthy of being your true self, and it's time to stop letting people-pleasing stand in the way of your authentic, powerful life. As always, until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you truly are, and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.

    21 min
  2. Confidence Lessons From 2,000 Rejections

    JUN 25

    Confidence Lessons From 2,000 Rejections

    In this empowering episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz sits down with sales expert Colin Yearwood, who helps coaches and entrepreneurs grow their businesses by mastering the skill of sales—without manipulation or pressure. Colin shares his powerful journey from avoiding sales entirely to embracing it as a vehicle for freedom, purpose, and service. You’ll hear how he overcame the fear of rejection, stopped giving his services away for free, and discovered how sales can be one of the most selfless things you do when done with heart.Whether you’re a coach, creative, or just someone who wants to feel more empowered asking for what you want in life, this conversation will give you the tools to stop fearing sales—and start seeing it as a way to help others. Listen now and discover how changing your mindset around selling can transform your business, your confidence, and your life. ------------------------------------------------------------- In this engaging episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz is joined by Colin Yearwood, a sales expert who helps coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs grow their businesses by mastering the skill of sales. Colin shares his fascinating journey from hating sales to embracing it as one of the most important tools for helping others—and for creating a life of freedom and purpose. Are You Afraid of Selling? You're Not Alone For many, the thought of selling is fraught with fear and discomfort. Colin confesses that he used to despise selling, even going so far as to give away his services for free. But that changed when a mentor pushed him to confront his resistance. He learned that selling isn't about convincing or manipulating others—it's about serving and guiding people to the resources they need to improve their lives. Why Selling Can Be a Force for Good Colin explains that selling isn't about pushing products or services on people who don't need them. Instead, it’s about helping others get the solutions they’re looking for—solutions that could make a meaningful difference in their lives. He says, "Selling is one of the best things you can do if you want to make a difference in the world." Through sales, you can reframe people’s thinking, offer them clarity, and help them bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be. The Key to Sales: Confidence and Detachment One of the core lessons Colin teaches is the importance of being unattached to the outcome of a sales conversation. He encourages people to shift from a place of neediness—where the focus is all on getting the sale—to a place of serving, where the focus is on genuinely helping the person you're talking to. This mindset shift not only makes you more confident, but it also makes the sales process more authentic and less stressful. The Real Story Behind Rejection A common fear in sales (and life) is the fear of rejection. Many people take it personally when someone says no. Colin dispels this myth by reminding us that rejection isn't about you—it's about the offer. He explains, "They’re not saying no to you. They’re saying no to the offer, not the person." This shift in perspective can make a huge difference in how you approach sales conversations and navigate the inevitable no's. What Mindset Helps You Succeed in Sales? Colin shares that his mindset going into any sales conversation is one of curiosity, empathy, and openness. Instead of focusing solely on closing the deal, he focuses on understanding the person he's talking to—what their needs are, what their challenges are, and how he can help them overcome them. This approach leads to better sales outcomes and deeper connections with potential clients. Sales Is Just Another Way to Build Connections At the heart of sales is connection. Colin points out that the best salespeople are those who approach every conversation with an open heart and a genuine interest in helping others. This means showing up authentically, being willing to listen, and not getting caught up in the fear of rejection or the need to make a sale. When you focus on connection, the sales process becomes much more natural—and far less intimidating. Takeaways: The Power of Sales and Service For anyone struggling with the fear of selling or worrying that they’re being “too pushy,” Colin’s advice is simple but profound: "Selling is about service. It's about helping people get what they need." By embracing this mindset, you can shift your approach to sales—and life—away from fear and manipulation, and towards authenticity, connection, and genuine support. Get Out of Your Own Way Colin reminds us that the key to success in sales (and life) is showing up as the best version of yourself. The more you invest in your personal growth, the more naturally your sales skills will improve. And even if you're not a natural-born salesperson, with the right mindset and the willingness to learn, you can succeed and make a meaningful impact on others. Listen Now for More Sales Wisdom This episode is packed with invaluable insights for anyone looking to overcome their fear of selling and build a successful business based on serving others. Whether you're in sales, entrepreneurship, or just looking to improve your confidence in life, Colin’s story and expertise will inspire you to shift your mindset, embrace the process, and start showing up with confidence. Final Thought: Selling doesn’t have to be about manipulation or pushiness. It can be about connection, service, and helping people make a positive change in their lives. By embracing this mindset, you’ll not only improve your sales skills—you’ll also create deeper, more authentic relationships and open doors to greater success and fulfillment. Listen to the full episode for more practical tips and powerful advice on overcoming fear and rejection in sales and turning your fear into confidence.

    48 min
  3. Confidence Lessons From 2,000 Rejections with Colin Yearwood

    JUN 24

    Confidence Lessons From 2,000 Rejections with Colin Yearwood

    In this revealing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz takes you deep beneath the surface of people-pleasing to uncover the root cause of "nice" behavior—and how to break free from it once and for all. Whether it’s avoiding conflict, constantly agreeing, or feeling guilty for asserting yourself, these behaviors are all symptoms of one deeper fear. Dr. Aziz shows you how to stop managing a dozen surface habits and instead zero in on the core emotional driver that keeps you stuck in patterns of approval-seeking and guilt. You’ll learn why the real path to confidence and freedom isn’t about “trying harder” to be assertive—it’s about upgrading your internal rules and learning how to handle the uncomfortable feelings you’re trying to avoid. 🎧 If you’ve ever felt trapped by niceness or frustrated by your inability to speak up, this episode is your roadmap out. Tune in now and start stepping into your bold, authentic self.----------------------------- Sales often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as manipulative, transactional, and something that “pushy” people do. But what if sales could be a tool for good? What if it was about helping others, building real connections, and empowering them to make decisions that could transform their lives? In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with Colin Yearwood, a sales expert who has helped countless coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs navigate the world of sales with confidence and integrity. Colin’s journey into sales wasn’t a straightforward one—he was a self-described “late bloomer.” For years, he hated selling and avoided it, offering discounted work and even giving away services for free. But when he realized that in order to grow his business and help people, he had to get comfortable with selling, everything shifted. Through a combination of personal development and sales strategy, Colin transformed his mindset and his approach. Now, he sees selling as one of the most powerful tools for creating meaningful change in people’s lives. The Heart of Sales: Serving, Not Manipulating A common fear many people have when it comes to sales is that it’s manipulative. The idea of convincing someone to buy something they don’t need feels icky. But Colin explains that the problem isn’t selling—it’s how you sell. If you approach sales with the mindset of serving others, listening to their concerns, and finding the best solution for them, then you’re not manipulating, you’re helping. One of the biggest shifts Colin experienced was moving away from desperation. When you need the sale to feel worthy or successful, your energy will shift, and people will sense that. Instead, Colin encourages focusing on what’s best for the person you’re speaking with. Being unattached to the outcome of the sale frees you up to show up authentically and let the conversation unfold naturally. Stand-out Quote: “When you show up centered and focused on the other person, not on making the sale, that’s when the magic happens.” The Fear of Rejection: How to Embrace ‘No’ Sales, like dating, involves rejection. And let’s be honest—nobody likes it. But rejection doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Colin explains that a “no” from someone doesn’t mean you’re unworthy—it simply means your offer wasn’t the right fit for them at that time. The key is not to take rejection personally. When you stop seeing rejection as a reflection of your worth, it becomes easier to navigate and move forward. To get better at handling rejection, Colin recommends focusing on learning from the conversation rather than obsessing over what went wrong. After every sales call or interaction, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. This practice allows you to build on your successes and grow from your mistakes, creating a continuous cycle of improvement and confidence. Stand-out Quote: “When you get a ‘no,’ see it as an opportunity to learn and refine your approach, not a sign of failure.” The Power of Curiosity and Energy in Sales Conversations Sales isn’t about talking someone into something they don’t need; it’s about listening to their needs, understanding their challenges, and offering a solution. Colin emphasizes the importance of curiosity. Instead of just following a script, be genuinely curious about the person you’re talking to. Ask questions that dig deeper, and truly listen to their responses. This allows you to align your offer with what they truly need. One of the most powerful things Colin does before a sales call is get himself into the right mindset. He spends time grounding himself, setting intentions, and reminding himself that the conversation is about serving, not just closing a deal. This preparation helps him show up with confidence and clarity, and it shifts the energy of the conversation. Stand-out Quote: “The more curious you are, the more connected you’ll be to the person on the other side of the conversation.” Turning Sales into a Personal Growth Journey Colin’s approach to sales is more than just a strategy—it’s a mindset shift. By focusing on personal development, emotional intelligence, and being present in each conversation, you can transform the sales process into a tool for personal growth and meaningful connection. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Action Step: Reflect on your own mindset around sales. Do you fear rejection? Do you feel like selling is manipulative? Shift your focus to the person you’re serving. What do they need? What can you offer that would genuinely improve their life or business? By approaching sales as an act of service, you’ll start to feel more confident and less attached to the outcome. If you want to learn more about Colin’s approach to sales and personal growth, be sure to check out his website ColinYearwood.com and explore the resources available to help you master the art of selling with authenticity and confidence. In Conclusion: Embrace the Journey Sales is a journey of self-discovery, vulnerability, and growth. The more you show up with authenticity, curiosity, and a servant’s heart, the more you’ll connect with others and create opportunities for meaningful success. Remember, it’s not about making the sale—it’s about making a difference. Are you ready to stop fearing rejection and start selling with confidence?

    47 min
  4. Remove People-Pleasing At It's Roots

    JUN 17

    Remove People-Pleasing At It's Roots

    Why do you avoid conflict, over-apologize, or say “yes” when you really mean “no”? In this powerful episode, Dr. Aziz unpacks the deeper reasons behind people-pleasing and “nice” behavior—and reveals what’s really driving it. You’ll discover that these habits aren’t just random quirks—they’re part of a system designed to keep you “safe” by earning approval and avoiding disapproval. But this comes at a huge cost: your authenticity, your confidence, and your freedom. Dr. Aziz shares key signs of hidden people-pleasing and offers a compelling invitation to look at what you’re really afraid to feel. Once you understand the emotional root of these patterns, you can start breaking free—not by fixing a dozen behaviors, but by going straight to the source. 🎧 Ready to reclaim your voice and stop living by invisible rules? Listen now to start your journey toward greater confidence and true self-expression.-------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever found yourself bending over backward to please others, saying yes when you really wanted to say no, or avoiding confrontation because you’re scared of what might happen if you speak your truth? If so, you’re not alone. People-pleasing behaviors can show up in many areas of life—from romantic relationships to work and even friendships. The good news? You don’t need to fix every single behavior. Instead, we’re going to dig into what’s really at the root of these patterns and how you can change them from the inside out. The Hidden Costs of People-Pleasing We often think of people-pleasing as just being “nice,” but the truth is, there’s a huge difference between being kind and being overly accommodating to the point where it harms your emotional well-being. People-pleasing behaviors are typically driven by an intense fear of rejection, disapproval, or conflict. You might find yourself avoiding conflict at all costs, smiling when you're upset, or agreeing with everything someone says—even if you don’t believe it. Stand-out Quote: “People-pleasing isn't about kindness—it's about seeking approval to feel safe and accepted.” Some of the most common signs of people-pleasing include: Avoiding conflict: You might avoid difficult conversations or disagreeing with others because you fear their reaction. Smiling when upset: Masking your true feelings with a smile or laugh, even when you’re uncomfortable. Excessive agreeing: You nod or say “yes” to everything, even when it’s not what you truly want, just to keep the peace. These behaviors might seem harmless at first, but over time, they can lead to a sense of being disconnected from your true self. You start to feel as though you're living for others and not for yourself, which can be emotionally exhausting and even leave you feeling resentful or invisible. What’s at the Root of People-Pleasing? When you break down the people-pleasing behaviors, you’ll find one thing at the core: fear. Fear of rejection, fear of upsetting someone, fear of being judged, and ultimately, fear that you won’t be good enough. It’s the fear that if you don’t follow the unspoken rules—like always agreeing with others or avoiding conflict—you won’t be loved, accepted, or valued. But here’s the key realization: You don’t need to keep playing by these rules. The rules are simply a collection of beliefs that you’ve internalized over the years. You don’t have to keep following them if they aren’t serving you. The Power of Feeling Your Feelings One of the most effective ways to break free from people-pleasing is to stop avoiding uncomfortable feelings. When you’re constantly trying to avoid upsetting people or making them feel uncomfortable, you’re also avoiding your own discomfort. This avoidance keeps the cycle going. Instead of running from the fear of rejection or conflict, feel it. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but here’s the game-changer: Your ability to feel and tolerate discomfort is the key to breaking free. When you can sit with those emotions and still act authentically, you’ll find that you are not only stronger but also more aligned with your true self. Stand-out Quote: “When you break the rules of people-pleasing, you’re breaking free to become your true, authentic self.” The Path to Freedom: A Practical Step Here’s your action step for today: Pick one rule you’ve been living by—maybe it’s always saying yes when you mean no, or avoiding difficult conversations—and imagine breaking that rule. Picture yourself saying “no” when you usually say yes, or speaking up when you usually stay quiet. Ask yourself: What do you fear will happen? What’s the worst-case scenario? More often than not, the fear is exaggerated, and you’ll realize that you can handle the discomfort that comes with it. Take a moment to feel that discomfort fully. It’s not as bad as it seems, and the more you practice this, the easier it becomes. Remember, breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey, not a destination. With each step, you’ll feel more empowered, more authentic, and more connected to your true self. Embrace Your True Self People-pleasing doesn’t make you a good person—it makes you a person who is disconnected from their own truth. By starting to challenge the rules you’ve been following, you can begin the process of reclaiming your power. You can stop living for others and start living for yourself. You are worthy of love, respect, and connection just as you are. It’s time to embrace your authentic self—without the fear, the guilt, or the need to please anyone else. You are enough. Remember, it’s not about being “good” according to someone else’s standards—it’s about being true to yourself.

    21 min
  5. How To Tell If You're Too Desperate

    JUN 10

    How To Tell If You're Too Desperate

    Do you worry you're coming off as too needy—in dating, friendships, or business? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down what “neediness” really is, why it’s often just fear in disguise, and how to shift from anxious grasping to calm confidence. You’ll learn how to spot the difference between healthy desire and emotional urgency—and what to do when you feel that panicky “I need this to go right” energy. 🎧 Tune in now and discover how to feel more secure, grounded, and powerful—no matter the outcome.--------------------------------------- We’ve all experienced moments of feeling needy or desperate, whether in our romantic lives, friendships, or even at work. It’s uncomfortable, and the fear of being seen as desperate can be overwhelming. But is feeling needy always a bad thing? How can we distinguish between legitimate wants and a destructive need that can repel others? In today’s episode, we're diving deep into the question: Are you too needy? We’ll explore why you might feel desperate, how it shows up in your life, and, most importantly, how to break free from the cycle. Get ready for some powerful insights that will change the way you see your own behavior and give you the tools to navigate this tricky emotion with confidence. The Fine Line Between Wanting and Needing Have you ever felt like you absolutely needed someone or something to make you feel okay? Whether it’s a person responding to a text, a job offer coming through, or your partner’s approval, that shift from "I want" to "I need" can bring a lot of tension and anxiety. The moment you start thinking, “I need this,” you’re attaching your emotional well-being to something outside of yourself, which can lead to feelings of desperation. The key distinction here is that need often comes from a place of fear. It’s no longer just a passing desire; it’s become something that feels essential to your survival—emotionally speaking. That fear of not getting what you “need” creates a sense of urgency and tension, which can manifest in all areas of your life, from your personal relationships to your career. Stand-out Quote: “It’s not about what you want—it’s about how you’re attached to the outcome that makes all the difference.” The Real Danger of Neediness The issue with acting out neediness isn’t just that it feels uncomfortable for you—it can also push people away. Whether you’re desperately trying to make a sale or forcing a romantic connection, others can feel that desperation. No one likes to feel like they’re being used as a means to an emotional end. People can sense that kind of energy, even if it’s unspoken, and it can create resistance in the other person. As much as you may want to avoid being perceived as needy, the key is not to repress or ignore the feeling, but to understand it. It’s about getting to the root of why you feel the need for validation or approval, and ultimately learning to find that validation within yourself. The Power of Perspective and Detachment The first step in overcoming feelings of desperation is gaining perspective. Ask yourself, “What would happen if I didn’t get what I wanted?” In most cases, you’d be okay. You’d survive, and the world would keep turning. The difference lies in how much weight you put on the outcome. If you're feeling desperate, it’s crucial to step back and examine the root cause. Are you attaching your worth to someone else’s approval? Or are you relying on an external outcome to validate your emotions? By shifting your focus inward and recognizing your intrinsic value, you can begin to break free from the need for external validation. Instead of approaching the situation from a place of fear, approach it with confidence in who you are, regardless of the outcome. Practical Tips to Break Free from Desperation Here’s a powerful practice to help you navigate moments of neediness or desperation: Identify Your Emotional Urgency Take a moment to notice when you’re feeling desperate. On a scale from 1 to 10, how strongly do you feel the need for something external to happen in order for you to feel okay? Recognizing this urgency is the first step to loosening its grip on you. Create Space Around the Feeling Instead of acting on the impulse to “do something” about the situation, take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to feel the emotion fully. Give yourself the space to soften the intensity of the urgency. Shift Your Focus Reconnect with your values and your internal sense of worth. What is important to you? What do you value most in life? By focusing on what truly matters to you, rather than on the external outcome, you can release the pressure and operate from a place of strength. Embrace Freedom and Self-Worth It’s okay to feel needy at times—it’s a natural human emotion. But it’s crucial to recognize when neediness is coming from a place of fear or scarcity. When you learn to detach your emotional well-being from the external, you can build a deeper sense of confidence and freedom. Remember, the most powerful thing you can do is come from a place of want, not need. When you live with a clear sense of self-worth and confidence, you won’t be desperate for anyone else’s approval. You’ll be free to go after what you want without fear, and you’ll attract the right people and opportunities into your life. So, are you ready to let go of the desperation? Your confidence and authenticity are your greatest strengths. Start living from that place today and watch how your relationships and experiences shift.

    20 min
  6. Your Personal Confidence Goldmine

    JUN 3

    Your Personal Confidence Goldmine

    In this episode, we explore a truth that can completely transform your life: when you know who you are, everything changes. Confidence deepens. Fear fades. And your decisions start coming from clarity—not self-doubt. You'll discover how most people unknowingly build their lives around trying to prove, please, or avoid. But when you shift from chasing validation to standing in who you truly are, you unlock real confidence, peace, and power. This isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about remembering who you already are. The real you is calm, capable, and more than enough. 🎧 If you’ve ever felt like you have to earn your worth or constantly win others’ approval, this episode is for you. Tune in now and take a bold step toward freedom.       -----------------------------       Are you tired of feeling anxious, disconnected, or like you’re not living up to your full potential? If so, there’s a simple but powerful solution that can help you break free from the grip of fear and self-doubt: your values. In today’s episode, I’ll show you how reconnecting to your true essence and living in alignment with your values can unlock a goldmine of confidence, resilience, and personal power. "The Fear Isn’t Coming from the Outside, It’s Coming from Inside" Many of us believe that our fear comes from external situations—like a challenging meeting, an upcoming date, or a new career opportunity. But what if the real cause of your anxiety isn’t the outside world at all? What if it’s a disconnection from yourself and your true potential? When we’re disconnected from our values—what truly matters to us—our confidence takes a hit. We become anxious, unsure, and easily influenced by external pressures. But when we reconnect to our core values, everything changes. The same circumstances no longer feel as threatening because we’re grounded in who we truly are. How to Find the Root of Your Confidence The secret to overcoming fear and anxiety isn’t in changing the world around you—it’s in aligning your actions with your values. Here’s how to get started: Identify What Truly Matters to You Your values are the compass that guides your life. It’s not about what others expect from you or what you “should” care about—it’s about what drives you at your core. For some, it’s family. For others, it’s personal growth or adventure. When you identify your core values, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and what makes you tick. Clarify Your Top Values Your values provide a solid foundation in a constantly shifting world. Whether it’s love, contribution, achievement, or courage, knowing what matters most to you can help you make confident decisions and navigate challenges with greater ease. "The more you live by your values, the more confident you’ll feel, because your strength lies in living your truth." Align Your Actions with Your Values Living your values isn’t just a mental exercise—it’s about taking action. Each time you make a decision that aligns with your values, you reinforce your sense of self and build your confidence. This could mean taking bold steps in your career, standing up for yourself in relationships, or making time for self-care. Every action that reflects your values strengthens your resilience and reduces anxiety. Why This Matters for You Living your values is the key to unlocking your personal confidence goldmine. When you get clear on what matters to you and consistently live in alignment with those values, you build an unshakable foundation of confidence. This isn’t just about achieving goals or pleasing others—it’s about embracing who you are and living with purpose. Your Path to Confidence Starts Today The journey to lasting confidence starts with living in alignment with your values. What truly matters to you? What do you value most in life? Take a moment to identify your core values, and start living them every day. The more you do this, the more your confidence will grow. Remember, your values are your superpower. When you embrace them and live authentically, you unlock a limitless source of strength. So take that first step today, and watch how living your values transforms your life. You’ve got this—your personal confidence goldmine is waiting

    24 min
  7. MAY 28

    Knowing Who You Are Changes Everything with Dr. Dave Tuck

    In this powerful episode, Dr. Aziz is joined by Dr. Dave Tuck for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about identity, healing, and confidence. Together, they explore what happens when you truly know who you are—and how that clarity can radically shift your relationships, decisions, and sense of peace. You’ll hear how Dr. Tuck’s personal journey led him from people-pleasing and performance-based self-worth to a deeper connection with his true self. Through candid stories and practical wisdom, this episode invites you to question old roles and step into a more grounded, authentic version of yourself. 🎧 Ready for a breakthrough in how you see yourself and show up in the world? Tune in now.-----------------------------  Change can feel overwhelming, right? Whether it’s a new job, a breakup, a move, or the beginning of a new chapter, transitions stir up uncertainty, fear, and often, confusion. But what if you could see transitions not as roadblocks, but as opportunities to grow, evolve, and become more confident in yourself? In today’s post, we’re diving into why transitions are an inevitable part of life—and how embracing them can lead to profound personal growth. Dr. Dave Tucker, a chiropractor and self-mastery coach with over 30 years of experience, offers valuable insights on how to navigate life’s transitions effectively. The Inevitable Nature of Transitions Let’s face it—change is going to happen. From our first breath to our last, we’re constantly going through transitions. Some are big—graduating, changing careers, getting married—while others are more subtle, like shifting perspectives in relationships or facing health challenges. These transitions, while often uncomfortable, are vital to our personal evolution. Stand-out Quote: "Every transition is an opportunity for growth and wisdom." – Dr. Dave Tucker The real challenge isn’t the transition itself, but our resistance to it. Most of us tend to fight change, fearing the unknown, or fearing what we might lose. But it’s important to realize that fighting change only makes the transition harder and more painful. Instead, by learning how to embrace transitions, we allow ourselves to grow stronger and more resilient. Embrace Change to Overcome Fear As Dr. Dave explains, transitions often require us to shift our identity. This could mean letting go of an old way of thinking or confronting parts of ourselves that we’ve been avoiding. But instead of retreating or avoiding the discomfort, it’s crucial to embrace it. Stand-out Quote: "Embracing change isn’t about avoiding discomfort, it’s about learning to face it with confidence." This is where many people get stuck. When change comes, they panic, thinking it’s a sign that something is wrong. They try to avoid the discomfort by holding onto old patterns or identities. But what if we stopped resisting and, instead, saw discomfort as a sign that we are evolving into the next version of ourselves? The Power of Your Identity in Transitions One of the most important aspects of navigating transitions is understanding your identity. Dr. Dave shares that our identity is made up of three core elements: values, vision, and voice. These elements help guide us through life’s transitions, ensuring we stay aligned with who we are, no matter what changes come our way. Values: What’s most important to you in life? Your values act as the compass that keeps you grounded, especially in times of uncertainty. Vision: Where do you want to go in life? Having a clear vision helps you navigate transitions with purpose, ensuring that you are working toward something meaningful. Voice: Your voice is your authentic expression. When you’re clear on who you are and what you want, speaking your truth becomes easier, even in difficult situations. Stand-out Quote: "When you’re clear about your identity, decisions become much easier, and life flows with more confidence." – Dr. Dave Tucker Take Action: Build Confidence Through Transitions Embracing change and expanding your capacity to handle discomfort is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. Each transition is a chance to reinforce your identity, grow in confidence, and step into your true power. So, what action can you take today to start embracing transitions in your life? Whether it’s starting a new project, having a difficult conversation, or facing a fear that’s been holding you back, remember that discomfort is a sign of growth. Final Thought: As you navigate life’s transitions, don’t fear the discomfort. Lean into it, and you’ll discover new levels of strength and confidence. The key is to embrace each change as an opportunity for growth and transformation.

    52 min
  8. This Will Totally Change How You See Confidence

    MAY 21

    This Will Totally Change How You See Confidence

    In this eye-opening episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz introduces what might be the most underrated yet transformational key to building confidence and reducing social anxiety: expanding your capacity. It might not sound glamorous, but this principle is the real “magic juice” for lasting confidence. Dr. Aziz explains that every person has an emotional and psychological threshold for discomfort—whether it’s rejection, conflict, criticism, or awkwardness—and those with social anxiety often have a lower capacity in these areas. The breakthrough? Confidence grows not by avoiding discomfort, but by intentionally leaning into it. By reframing your experiences as opportunities to expand your capacity rather than threats to avoid, you open the door to extraordinary growth. Whether it’s speaking up at work, handling rejection in dating, or saying what you really think in a group—these are not scary “failures” to avoid but moments to train your emotional muscles. Dr. Aziz shares stories from real client breakthroughs, including one man who concluded after a single awkward phone call that he should “never talk to a woman on the phone again.” Through humor and insight, Dr. Aziz reveals how easily we draw limiting conclusions and how much power we reclaim when we choose to stay in the discomfort zone just long enough to grow. 🚀 Ready to build true inner strength and shatter the limits of what you think you can handle? Tune in now and discover how to expand your capacity—and your confidence—with every step you take outside your comfort zone.--------------------------------     Do you feel anxious or uncomfortable when you’re asked to speak in front of a group, or when someone rejects you or doesn’t respond to your message? Do you find yourself holding back in social situations, worried about disapproval or judgment? If so, you’re not alone. Social anxiety and people-pleasing are patterns many people experience, but there is a powerful way out. And it’s simpler than you think: expand your capacity. The Truth About Your Capacity When I say expand your capacity, it may not sound like an exciting breakthrough at first. But trust me, it's the key to overcoming your social anxiety and living the confident, authentic life you’ve always wanted. Here’s what I mean: we all have a certain threshold for what we can handle. This can apply to physical tasks (like lifting weights) or emotional experiences (like handling rejection or failure). Stand-out Quote: "The more you expand your capacity to handle difficult situations, the less power they have over you." The problem for many people struggling with social anxiety is that their capacity for handling discomfort—like conflict, rejection, or disapproval—is very low. This leads to avoidance, which only perpetuates the cycle of anxiety. But the good news is, you can expand your capacity. It’s not set in stone, and it’s not determined by your DNA. It’s a skill you can develop. Why We Avoid Discomfort Here’s the catch: when we feel discomfort—whether it’s someone disagreeing with us or receiving rejection—we naturally want to avoid it. We’re wired to seek safety, and discomfort feels like a threat. But the more you avoid these feelings, the more they control you. The way out is to gradually expose yourself to these discomforts in manageable doses, which allows you to build emotional resilience. Stand-out Quote: "The key to overcoming social anxiety is not avoiding discomfort, but learning to face it with confidence." For example, let’s say you’re scared of conflict. You avoid confrontation, even if it’s necessary for a healthy relationship. This avoidance keeps you trapped. But when you start practicing handling conflict—starting small, like speaking up in a meeting or expressing your true feelings to a friend—you expand your capacity to tolerate discomfort. Over time, the fear that once felt paralyzing will lose its power. How to Expand Your Capacity: The Steps Start Small: Identify the areas of your life where your capacity is stretched—whether it’s speaking up for yourself, handling rejection, or dealing with conflict—and start small. Practice speaking your truth, even in low-stakes situations, like with a friend or coworker. Embrace Discomfort: Instead of running from the discomfort of being judged or disliked, lean into it. Let yourself feel uncomfortable without panicking. When you experience disapproval, remind yourself that it’s temporary. It’s just part of life, not a reflection of your worth. Challenge Your Beliefs: Often, we avoid things because we think we can’t handle them. But the truth is, you can. The more you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, the more you’ll prove to yourself that you can handle discomfort. This builds your confidence in your ability to handle anything life throws at you. The Power of Gradual Exposure I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this strategy is for my clients. Take, for example, a client who once couldn’t talk to women without feeling overwhelmed with fear. After gradually building his confidence—starting with small conversations, then escalating to asking for phone numbers—he went from avoiding social situations to thriving in them. And you can do the same in your life. Stand-out Quote: "Expanding your capacity is the most effective way to break free from the shackles of social anxiety and people-pleasing." Action Step: What Will You Do to Expand Your Capacity? So, here’s your action step: Find something that stretches your capacity today. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, asking for what you need in a relationship, or handling rejection with grace, start expanding your limits. And remember, as you expand your capacity, the discomfort becomes manageable. With time, your confidence will grow, and you’ll feel more comfortable being your authentic self. The key to confidence isn’t avoiding discomfort—it’s embracing it. Final Thought: You’re not stuck in your current state. You can grow, change, and expand your capacity for handling life's challenges. Start small, be consistent, and soon you’ll notice a massive shift in your confidence and overall well-being. Take Action Now: What’s one thing you’re going to do today to expand your capacity? Share it in the comments below, and let’s support each other on this journey.

    18 min
4.8
out of 5
576 Ratings

About

Everyone has some level of fear in social situations. For you it might be meeting someone new, networking, dating, sales conversations, presenting, public speaking, or business meetings. In order to get to the next level in your life, create better relationships, find love, earn more money, or advance in your career, you must overcome fear, social anxiety, and self-doubt. In order to be outstanding, you must have confidence. That's where Dr. Aziz comes in. After struggling with shyness and social anxiety for 9 years, he decided to take life into his own hands and master confidence. A decade later, he is the world's leading expert on social anxiety and social confidence. He received a doctorate in clinical psychology from Stanford and Palo Alto Universities and now works as a confidence and success coach with people from all over the world. This show contains the profound and immediately life-changing information he teaches high-paying clients every day. Learn from the best about how to overcome social fear, gain confidence in dating, public speaking, sales presentations, business meetings, and all of life.

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