139 episodes

A podcast for men who want to understand and improve themselves and their relationships, hosted by Dr. Matt Brown and Dr. Rob Porter and clinical therapist Mike Porter.

The Manspace Dr. Matt Brown

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 39 Ratings

A podcast for men who want to understand and improve themselves and their relationships, hosted by Dr. Matt Brown and Dr. Rob Porter and clinical therapist Mike Porter.

    Ep. 136 You’re Making Your Kids Anxious

    Ep. 136 You’re Making Your Kids Anxious

    SPACEMEN!!!! Did you know you’re screwing your kids up? You’re not. But what if you are? Well today, we’ll address that topic. We talk about clip from Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist known as the millennial parenting whisperer. We’ll talk about how focusing on making kids happy can actually make them fearful and less tolerant of other emotions. When parents try to rescue their kids from distress, they send the message that certain emotions are bad and should be avoided. This can lead to anxiety in adulthood. It is important to develop resilience in kids and allow them to experience a range of emotions. Society's emphasis on happiness and the avoidance of pain can be detrimental to emotional development. We even give you an activity to do at home to help develop your tolerance for emotional discomfort.
    Keywords
    Dr. Becky Kennedy, parenting, happiness, emotions, resilience, anxiety, distress, avoidance, societal pressure, pain, discomfort, emotions, emotional regulation, tolerance, resilience, validation, comparison, mindfulness, ice cube exercise
    Takeaways
    Avoiding distressful emotions can lead to anxiety in adulthood.It is important to allow kids to experience a range of emotions and not rescue them from distress.Society's emphasis on happiness and the avoidance of pain can hinder emotional development. Allowing children to experience and tolerate pain and discomfort is important for their emotional development and resilience.Validating children's emotions and avoiding comparisons or false reassurances is more helpful in supporting their emotional well-being.Emotional regulation involves regulating the influence of emotions on behavior and being intentional about how much influence emotions have in different situations.The ice cube exercise can be a helpful mindfulness practice to build resilience and learn to tolerate discomfort.Acknowledging and labeling emotions is important, but it is not always necessary to fully experience them.Sound Bites
    "Listening to music from your high school years can boost your mood""Homestar Runner, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, and Clone High are nostalgic favorites""Internet issues and frozen screens can be frustrating""If you have any poo, fling it now.""Anxiety actually isn't a feeling, it's the experience of wanting to run away from a feeling.""Our job is not to make our kid happy.""I think we have this idea that now you must go feel it. It's like, do I, or can I just say, no, it's there. I know it's there.""You're never going to find happiness through comparison.""The purpose of pain is to be resilient because life involves suffering and adversity."Chapters


    00:00
    Boost Your Mood with Music Nostalgia
    14:53
    Introducing Dr. Becky Kennedy, the Millennial Parenting Whisperer
    15:12
    The Role of Parents: Developing Resilience in Kids
    26:19
    Allowing Kids to Experience a Range of Emotions
    30:04
    Societal Pressure and Emotional Development
    38:34
    Allowing Children to Experience and Tolerate Pain
    40:41
    Validating Children's Emotions and Avoiding Comparisons
    46:26
    Emotional Regulation: Regulating the Influence of Emotions on Behavior
    56:25
    The Ice Cube Exercise: Building Resilience and Tolerating Discomfort
    01:03:48
    Acknowledging and Labeling Emotions without Fully Experiencing Them
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    • 54 min
    Ep. 135 What's a Guy To Do? Speak Up For Yourself

    Ep. 135 What's a Guy To Do? Speak Up For Yourself

    This is ground control to spacemen. Come in spacemen. And welcome to another exciting installment of The Manspace Podcast. On today's episode, AI is pretty sure we just talked about "understanding the drive behind emphasis." Come on AI. If you want to be my supreme overlord, you're gonna have to up your game a little.

    In actuality, in this episode, Matt shares a story about a dude making complaint at a Thai restaurant. Then Matt, Mike, and Rob explore what happened and how this complaint seemed to carry so much weight in this guys relationship. We talk about a bunch of stuff, including: the importance of expressing preferences and the impact of not speaking up for oneself, the common experience of feeling obligated to address issues, the role of a husband and the pressure to fix problems in a relationship, and the conversation concludes by highlighting the significance of understanding the drive behind emphasis and cultivating effective communication and preferences in relationships. So we do talk about the drive behind emphasis, but it's not like it's ALL we talk about. Sheesh AI. Calm down. 
    Takeaways
    It is important to speak up for oneself and express preferences in relationships.Feeling obligated to address issues can create tension and resentment in relationships.Open communication and understanding are key to resolving conflicts. A good husband is someone who can assert their preferences and communicate their needs in a relationship.Understanding the drive behind emphasis and passion in communication can lead to better understanding and collaboration.It is important to find a balance between deferring to your partner's preferences and asserting your own.Stating preferences and communicating needs can help avoid resentment and build healthier relationship dynamics.Chapters
    00:00
    Introduction 
    03:00
    The dynamics of speaking up in relationships
    14:54
    The importance of expressing preferences in relationships
    22:32
    The common experience of feeling obligated to address issues
    23:14
    The Role of a Husband
    24:17
    The Pressure to Fix Problems
    25:22
    Feminine and Masculine Energy
    26:37
    Taking Care of Relationship Dynamics
    28:28
    The Weight of Passion
    29:27
    Emphasis vs. Passion
    30:06
    Speaking Up with Emphasis
    31:09
    Understanding the Drive Behind Emphasis
    36:28
    Cultivating Communication and Preferences
    37:36
    Finding Balance in Relationship Dynamics
    38:36
    Understanding the Drive Behind Emphasis
    51:24
    Closing Remarks
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    • 52 min
    Ep. 134 What Do You Say When There's Nothing Left To Say?

    Ep. 134 What Do You Say When There's Nothing Left To Say?

    Summary
    SPACEMEN!!! GATHER! Join us as we talk about what to say when there's nothing left to say. Most of us have had conversations with people in which we have said everything there is to say, but it doesn't seem to help. Maybe your partner or spouse is really stuck on something and you've offered the obviously perfect solution, but they don't seem to be buying it. How dare they?! Don't they know how smart you think you are? 

    On today's episode, Matt, Mike, and Rob break down what to say when you've got nothing.  We talk about reaching a point of exhaustion, the challenge of finding solutions, seeking a feeling rather than an actual thing, being curious and asking questions, and developing tolerance and patience. Listen in. We've got LOTS of stuff to say. We would never run out of things to say. Not us. 
    Takeaways
    Helping others can be challenging when you feel like you have nothing left to say.It is important to be patient and curious when trying to help someone who is struggling.Understanding the underlying feelings and desired outcomes can lead to more effective solutions.Asking questions and being open to different ideas can help overcome stuckness and find new perspectives. Asking questions and going through a process of figuring things out is essential for finding solutions.Patience and curiosity are key in building strong relationships.Effective communication requires both listening and asking the right questions.Tolerance for discomfort is necessary for personal growth and problem-solving.Parents should allow their children to experience failure and learn from their mistakes.Behavior patterns are a result of the dynamics between individuals, and both parties share responsibility.Fear of failure and the irrational fear of ruining a child's life can hinder personal growth and learning.Chapters
    04:35
    Favorite Moments and Episode Titles
    06:15
    Clip Episodes Done Right
    08:36
    Watching Sports and MLB Pass
    09:10
    Understanding Soccer Rules
    10:08
    Evolution of Sports Rules
    11:03
    Basketball Rule Violations
    11:16
    March Madness and Basketball
    12:17
    Reaching a Point of Exhaustion
    15:39
    The Role of Therapists in Facilitating Change
    20:16
    The Challenge of Finding Solutions
    21:35
    Helping Others When You Have Nothing Left to Say
    25:30
    Seeking a Feeling, Not an Actual Thing
    26:55
    The Frustration of Feeling Stuck on an Idea
    27:53
    Being Curious and Asking Questions
    29:02
    The Importance of Patience
    30:34
    The Process of Asking Questions
    31:23
    The Importance of Figuring Things Out
    32:14
    The Need for Patience and Curiosity in Relationships
    33:39
    The Challenge of Effective Communication
    36:06
    The Need for Tolerance of Discomfort
    37:22
    The Dangers of Solving Problems for Others
    38:37
    The Fear of Failure in Parenting
    48:34
    The Importance of Allowing Failure and Learning
    50:28
    The Shared Responsibility in Behavior Patterns
    50:47
    The End of the Conversation
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    • 49 min
    Ep. 133 Debunking Myths About Therapy

    Ep. 133 Debunking Myths About Therapy

    Summary
    'Sup spacemen. I let AI do the shownotes today. The first thing it mentioned? I'll show you..."The conversation covers topics such as Mike's butt pain."  HA HA! To be clear, that's in reference to Mike not liking one of the chairs we sit on, but man, AI makes us look like dummies. Now, today's episode is really about the process of therapy and what to expect. We cover things like misunderstandings and confusion, asking for advice, broad questions and uncertainty, expectations of therapists, therapists' knowledge and expertise, disappointing answers, the fallibility of experts, therapists' lack of ready-made solutions, and the complexity of diagnoses. The conversation also highlights the value of boundaries and the experiential nature of knowledge in therapy and the slow and incremental process of change. 

    Thanks AI. 
    Takeaways


    Misunderstandings and confusion can arise in conversations, leading to humorous moments.People often have misconceptions about therapy and expect therapists to have ready-made solutions for all problems. Therapists should ask clients what is helpful in the therapy process to better understand their needs and tailor their approach.Insight alone is not enough for change; it must be accompanied by experiential learning and behavioral changes.Change occurs slowly and incrementally, and it requires ongoing maintenance and effort.Therapy is not about fixing someone else; it is about personal growth and self-discovery.Chapters
    01:00
    Misunderstandings and Confusion
    03:04
    Elon Musk's Tweet
    04:21
    Cleaning and Organization
    05:16
    Hoarder House Flippers
    06:15
    Extreme Hoarding
    07:43
    Parenting Challenges
    09:30
    Clutter and Organization
    10:02
    Asking for Advice
    11:38
    Broad Questions and Uncertainty
    12:35
    Expectations of Therapists
    13:11
    Therapists' Knowledge and Expertise
    14:15
    Disappointing Answers
    15:03
    The Fallibility of Experts
    16:36
    Common Misconceptions about Therapy
    20:16
    The Complexity of Diagnoses
    21:04
    Bureaucracy and Key Performance Indicators
    21:24
    Misconceptions about Therapy
    22:20
    Coaching and the Change Process
    24:13
    The Importance of Understanding Deeper Issues
    25:10
    Therapy and Managed Care
    26:07
    Misuse of Therapy
    27:03
    Boundaries and Therapy
    28:04
    The Role of Therapists
    29:39
    The Value of Therapy
    30:14
    The Unawareness of Therapists
    31:40
    The Importance of Asking Clients What's Helpful
    32:09
    The Experiential Nature of Knowledge
    33:31
    Change Requires Experience
    36:01
    The Addiction to Instantaneous Change
    37:12
    The Limitations of Insight
    38:40
    The Importance of Taking Action
    41:26
    The Slow Process of Change
    45:06
    The Slow Accumulation of Insight and Change
    46:05
    The Importance of Small Victories
    47:29
    Working with Teenagers and Parents
    48:22
    The Value of Understanding Mental Health
    49:17
    The Shift in Perception and Progress
    50:16
    Insight and Outside Perspective in Therapy
    51:37
    Desiring Change and Motivation
    53:48
    Celebrating Small Changes
    55:25
    The Importance of Transition and Rhythm in Life
    56:20
    The Impact of Learning About Mental Health
    58:05
    Using Tools and Timers for Productivity
    01:01:46
    Sharing Personal Experiences in Therapy
    01:05:11
    Normalizing Experiences and Feeling Less Isolated
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    • 1 hr 9 min
    Ep. 132 REPOST: Men and Depression

    Ep. 132 REPOST: Men and Depression

    Hey guys. We're all on spring break this week. We know that will disappoint some of you. So, we reposted one of our most listened to episodes, Men and Depression. It's a topic that's been coming up for us lately, so we figure it was a good time to repost. Give a listen. Again. Fall in love, all over again. 
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    • 1 hr 3 min
    Ep. 131 Are Men Narcissists?

    Ep. 131 Are Men Narcissists?

    On today's episode,  Matt, Mike, and Rob discuss the mislabeling of men as narcissists and the negative consequences of such labeling. They then explore various defensive behaviors that men often exhibit including compartmentalization, intellectualization, projection, emotional avoidance, and displacement. and provide insights into these defense mechanisms and their impact on relationships. This was written by AI. How cool are we? Well, this part wasn't, obviously. Or maybe it was and AI has become self aware enough to consider itself cool. As stated previously, I, for one, welcome our supreme overlords. 
    Episode Takeaways
    Mislabeling men as narcissists can lead to a misunderstanding of their behaviors and hinder personal growth.
    Men often exhibit defensive behaviors such as compartmentalization and intellectualization.
    Compartmentalization involves separating different aspects of one's life, while intellectualization involves analyzing situations from a detached perspective.
    Understanding these defense mechanisms can help improve communication and foster healthier relationships. Compartmentalization involves separating different aspects of one's life or emotions to manage them separately.
    Intellectualization is the process of focusing on facts and logic to avoid or minimize emotional responses.
    Projection occurs when individuals attribute their own thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to others.
    Emotional avoidance involves suppressing or denying one's emotions to avoid discomfort or conflict.
    Displacement is redirecting strong emotions or frustrations towards a person or object that feels less threatening.
    Chapters
    00:00 Introduction and Welcome
    03:02 Mislabeling Men as Narcissists
    09:16 Exploring Defensive Behaviors
    20:19 Intellectualization as a Defense Mechanism
    21:18 Compartmentalization
    22:30 Intellectualization
    23:35 Projection
    25:13 Emotional Avoidance
    26:38 Displacement
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    • 44 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
39 Ratings

39 Ratings

krbuley ,

Refreshing view for men’s mental health

I met Dr. Matt Brown about 10 years ago in League city Texas. From the get-go I liked him as a person and his conversations were insightful and interesting. When I learned of this podcast, I started listening and really appreciated the insights shared (from all three hosts) and their views on things. It really got me thinking about things I can improve or things that I’ve struggled with in my relationships.I’ve recommended that many people over the years. I’m not sure if anyone’s actually listens, but I still continue to follow.

Texas Red4 ,

This podcast is a gift

This podcast has your new best friends. It’s a gift to have these guys discuss topics they have deep expertise in but in such a relatable way.

Uncle Dallon ,

Love it!

I seldom listen to every episode of any podcast but have listened to all of these. I love the light, funny banter between the hosts that kind of loosens up the listener while working in some really important and helpful advice. I find it engaging, entertaining and instructive.

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