The Reconnection Club Podcast

Tina Gilbertson
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The Reconnection Club Podcast

Helping parents heal from estrangement with their adult children. Hosted by psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson, author of "Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child."

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    185. How Not to Come Across As Critical

    Some estranged adult children go no contact because they say their parents are too critical. Has your adult child made this complaint? Are you frustrated because you just don't see what they're seeing? Does it seem like your adult child is too sensitive, and you're walking on eggshells because you never know what's going to make them feel criticized? Or do you recognize what they're talking about, but can't seem to change the dynamic? This episode is for anybody accused of being critical towards adult children, spouses or others. In an interesting thesis, Tina Gilbertson suggests what might be going on that's coming across as criticism, and what you can do about it. Changing relationship dynamics takes time. But if you know where to begin, you can get started today even if your adult child isn't currently in contact. For information on why adult children become estranged (or "go no-contact") and what parents can do about it, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

    9 min

  2. JUL 17

    Important announcement regarding episode expiration

    TRANSCRIPT: These are uncertain times for those of us who create and freely share content via the Internet. I mentioned on the podcast earlier this year that I needed some time to assess the impact of all the changes happening in the world of digital information, including the widespread, unregulated use of AI. At that time, I removed the show from a couple of the larger platforms, and stopped releasing new episodes to those platforms. Unfortunately, many smaller platforms were also affected. And that’s made it a lot harder for the show to be found by new listeners, which is a dilemma I’m still wrestling with.  Because it’s become clear that even more changes are necessary to protect the integrity of this podcast, even while making sure that you, the listener, can still access it. So here’s the current plan.  Starting with Episode 177, which will be released on July 29th, 2024, new episodes will appear in more places, but with certain exceptions, they will expire when the next episode is released. And beginning immediately, I’m going to start expiring some of the older episodes – again, with certain exceptions. Namely, the following:  - If you’re used to listening to the videos on our YouTube channel, or ... - If you listen on the Reconnection Club website... Nothing will change for you. There will be no expiration and you can disregard this entire announcement. (Again, that is if you listen on either our YouTube channel, or our website.) However, if you use a podcast player app like iHeartRadio or Pocket Casts, then new episodes starting with 177 will typically be available for only two weeks, and then they will expire.  There are ways to get around that two-week time limit. Within those first two weeks, you should still be able to download episodes and keep them for however long you want, depending on the app. Please check on that directly with your app. I don’t have that information. But if you ever lose an episode or can’t find one that you’re looking for, remember you can always find every single episode, old and new, on the Reconnection Club website, at reconnectionclub.com/podcast, or by episode number, for example, "reconnectionclub.com/130" for Episode 130. Or, subscribe to our YouTube channel for free and listen there. I know that episode expiration will not be a welcome change, and I thank you for your understanding and patience as I try to strike a balance between limiting unauthorized access by AI, and preserving your access to the podcast as a listener.  I also thank you for sharing the Reconnection Club Podcast with other parents experiencing unwanted estrangement from their adult children.  Thank you for your continued support in these challenging times.

    3 min

  3. FEB 5

    Important Announcement Regarding Access

    There are many more episodes to come! To find ALL episodes of the Reconnection Club Podcast, go to Reconnectionclub.com/podcast.

    2 min

  4. 10/18/2021

    Road Map to Reconnection, Part 3

    Episodes 97, 98 and 99 form a 3-part series outlining an overall stepwise approach to reconnecting with your estranged adult child. In the 3rd and final episode of this series, you'll find out why it's important to go through the steps in order, and not to enter Step 3 prematurely. By the time you get to this last step, you should already have completed 90% of the work of reconnection -- even without your adult child's participation. Tina cautions that many rejected parents go through the steps backwards, expending energy in fruitless efforts for which they haven't yet built a foundation. You'll also hear about three different traps that parents can fall into, in trying to repair an estrangement. Once you've spent constructive time in Steps 1 and 2, you'll be prepared for Step 3, which should be the easiest of the three, if approached in order.

    21 min

  5. 10/04/2021

    Road Map to Reconnection, Part 1

    Episodes 97, 98 and 99 form a 3-part series outlining an overall stepwise approach to reconnecting with your estranged adult child. In the first episode, Tina explains why it's important to slow down and avoid acting impulsively, from a place of desperation. This foundational episode provides a rationale for Step 1, and then lists specific tasks appropriate for this first phase of responding to your adult child's estrangement. You'll learn why it's necessary to pay attention to your nervous system, and how best to avoid unnecessary suffering. (According to Buddhism, pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional.) Reconnection Club members can find an annotated guide to the Road Map, with links to Tina's favorite resources, inside the Reconnection Club.

    16 min

  6. 09/20/2021

    The Deep Pain of the Rejected Parent

    This week’s episode begins with an assertion that neither pain nor compassion is a zero-sum commodity. Estranged adult child are in some ways wounded by the relationship they share with their parents. Most people in this position are in pain over the necessity of estrangement. Acknowledging that fact, we can still find compassion for the rejected parent who finds himself left behind. It’s usually the case that he did the best he knew how to do, and didn’t mean to hurt his child(ren). Estrangement involves pain on both sides. Tina talks about three separate types of parental pain, which she suggests exist at deeper and deeper levels in the parent. If you’re hurting over the relationship with your adult child or children, this episode is a must-listen.

    11 min

  7. 09/06/2021

    You're Both Adults, But Not Peers

    The parent-child relationship is not like any other. In so many ways, your role has always been a more demanding one than your child’s. If you were lucky, you had no responsibility for your parents when you were growing up; they took care of you, and not the other way around. Parents care for their children, and children are cared for by parents. There's something inherently asymmetrical about the relationship. That dynamic gets etched into both of your psyches as your child grows to maturity. And even though she’s now an adult, she’s never going to be exactly like your peers. Tina describes the ways and means that parents shoulder the burden of steering relationships with their children. It’s clear that although parents and children are not exactly peers, even in adulthood, parents trade the responsibilities of parenting for the honor of being irreplaceable. Most of us have just one of each parent. Never believe you’re interchangeable with anyone else in your adult child’s life.

    12 min

  8. 05/24/2021

    How to Let Them Know You've Changed

    Once you start learning, growing and healing through estrangement from an adult child, you might feel like sharing new insights with your child. Why wouldn’t s/he be interested in hearing what you’ve learned? And how exciting, to have new knowledge that can create a positive impact in your relationship. That’s why many parents ask, “How do I let my estranged adult child know I’ve changed, if we’re not currently in contact?” Tina’s answer is, “Don’t be in a hurry to do that.” Find out why you might want to wait on writing them a note about the work you've been doing, and what to do instead. For practical tips on how to repair an estranged relationship with your adult child(ren), see Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

    7 min
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4.6
out of 5
172 Ratings

About

Helping parents heal from estrangement with their adult children. Hosted by psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson, author of "Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child."

Information

  • Creator
    Tina Gilbertson
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2024
  • Episodes
    57
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024 The Reconnection Club
  • Show Website
    The Reconnection Club Podcast

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