Helping parents heal from estrangement with their adult sons and daughters. Hosted by psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson, author of "Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child."
Lack of Contact Is Not the Problem
Parents who seek solutions to the excruciating problem of adult child estrangement have probably tried reaching out to re-establish contact.
But there’s a problem with this common parental behavior. If a lack of contact is not the problem that led to estrangement, then contacting your child is not the solution.
Humility vs. Humiliation
It’s not uncommon for parents rejected by adult children to feel humiliated by the experience of estrangement.
But humility is not the same as feeling humiliated. Humility empowers, rather than disempowering, those who adopt it as an attitude.
In this thought-provoking episode, Tina breaks down the differences and offers a clear illustration of the power of humility.
Should You Lend Money to an Estranged Adult Child?
The short answer is no, don't lend them money. Give it as a gift instead, or avoid getting involved. If you already loaned your adult child money and now he's estranged and not paying you back, listen to the practical advice offered in this episode.
When You Don't Get a Response
With every lack of response, parents become more and more discouraged. They take their child’s silence as continued rejection, and they start to feel powerless.
While it’s true that adult children often don’t respond if they don’t like the message, there are other reasons why they might not reply, even if the messages lands well.
In this inspiring episode, Tina suggests that getting a response shouldn’t be considered the only measure of success.
"My Adult Child Dumped Me For My Ex"
Tina makes several observations about this surprisingly common scenario. Not only is it not rare, it’s likely not permanent.
Supportive, Yes. Doormat, No.
If your adult child estranged, you want to be supportive, to validate his thoughts and feelings, while you work on repairing the relationship. But how do you do that in the face of poor behavior, without feeling like a doormat? Tina tells you how in this episode.
Thank you Tina for leaving no stone unturned. Your words have been so helpful to me during this painful time in my life.
This episode gave me what i needed. My son is in a toxic relationship and now estranged. She told him to choose between us or them. He made his choice and is miserable. He keeps in touch with his brother and has been desperate to end the relationship but at the same time is i. So deep financially and will soon marry her. We weren't invited to the wedding and were told to our face by her that she hated us and had no respect for us. I feel our son is estranged because its just easier for him.
I’m about 10 months or so into this journey with my daughter. I started listening from the beginning. I haven’t caught up yet. However the tips have been extremely helpful. I appreciate getting a clear perspective from the adult child’s POV. I had a hard time believing she didn’t hate me but after your podcast I can believe it now. Thank you.