Therapy Works Julia Samuel

In this special episode, I’m delighted to be speaking with Caitlin Moran seeing as my daughters and I are huge fans of her writing. In this episode, she reflects on her tough upbringing and speaks about the power and joy she found with words. She also shares her opinions on masculinity and the challenges men face in society. With her characteristic humour and sharp wit, Caitlin discusses the cultural and personal implications of men's roles, offering a fresh perspective on what it means to navigate manhood in today's world.

Key Points Discussed:

The Power of Words: As Caitlin is a very skilled and prolific writer, she shares her love of writing, the power of writing, and how us finding the language to express ourselves can impact the world.
The Language We Use Around Children: Caitlin offers her thoughts on how younger generations are facing challenges, especially after hearing how the adults around them speak about the state of the world.
Masculinity in Crisis: Caitlin explores the crisis of masculinity, noting how societal expectations and traditional roles can lead to emotional suppression among men, resulting in a range of mental health issues.
Impact of Feminism on Men: She discusses the impact of feminism on men, arguing that while feminism has empowered women, it has also inadvertently highlighted the lack of emotional tools available to men, contributing to a generational disconnect.

I really enjoyed this conversation and found myself laughing a lot with Caitlin. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! 

Resources:
Get Caitlin’s new book, now in paperback: “What About Men?” - https://amzn.eu/d/cSlWgWt
American Institute for Boys and Men - https://aibm.org
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For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, a listener asks an important question: how can they be happy when someone in their family is deeply depressed? And so, to answer this, we’re not going to discuss what the listener can do to fix their family member’s problems, even though that might be the urge that arises in us instantly. Instead, we’ll talk about ideas of codependency, and highlight the importance of not anchoring our emotional wellbeing on the state of other’s. Finding ways to take care of ourselves is very important, so that we can be better resourced. We’re not going to help our depressed family member by getting depressed as well, and it can be very easy to catch the emotions of others. So,  please make sure that you’re finding ways to find your own happiness as well.
Resources mentioned:
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - https://www.thecalmzone.net
Mind - https://www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/
Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org
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In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, Heather shares the deeply emotional and challenging journey of raising her daughter, Lizzie, who has profound and multiple learning disabilities. Heather's story is one of love, loss, resilience, and the constant navigation of a life profoundly different from what she once envisioned. Through her journey with Lizzie, Heather illuminates the deep, often unspoken realities faced by families navigating similar paths.

Key Points Discussed:

Living with Profound Disabilities: Heather describes Lizzie's condition, underscoring the daily realities of caring for someone who is entirely dependent on others for their needs, coupled with the significant intellectual disabilities that shape their interactions with the world.

Grief and Acceptance: The conversation delves into the grief that accompanies the loss of the life Heather expected for Lizzie and herself, and how acceptance and acknowledgment of this grief have been crucial for moving forward.

Finding Meaning and Coping: Heather reflects on how acknowledging Lizzie's condition and the accompanying challenges have allowed her to find meaning, cope better, and thus provide better care.

Community and Representation: Highlighting the importance of representation and community support, Heather discusses the value of connecting with others who understand their family's experience and the ongoing battle for visibility and understanding in a broader societal context.


This episode stands as a powerful testament to the complexities of love, the weight of unfulfilled expectations, and the strength found in community and understanding. Heather's insights offer invaluable perspectives for anyone seeking to understand the nuances of caring for a loved one with profound disabilities.

Read Heather's letter to Lizzie: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QjCGIa85aS_8jBUQUbKCdi1F0aakf1RkwvIIZQQavH4/edit?usp=sharing
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In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re answering a viewer who is struggling with their 10-year-old daughter's dislike for their new partner. We’ll talk about how to empathise with the complexity of the situation, and we’ll offer some insights and advice on handling such family dynamics. The daughter’s resistance might stem from feelings of loss and change rather than a genuine dislike for the new partner.
Another important point is to ensure continued one-on-one time with the daughter, to maintain open and non-judgmental communication, and to slowly integrate the new partner without forcing acceptance. It’s important to allowing the daughter to express her feelings and fears about the new family dynamic, and for the parent to with manage their expectations for the transition period. Growth is non-linear, after all.
And on that note, if you’re interested in more discussions about blended family dynamics, here’s the podcast Emily mentioned - https://open.spotify.com/show/2olc42wsIsoLyGuqrAYQns
If you have any questions for the Agony Aunties then please do email them to jsamuelpod@gmail.com.
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In this week’s episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Dr. Rachel Clarke shares her journey through the peaks of the COVID-19 pandemic, her transition from journalism to palliative care medicine, and her ongoing advocacy for better end-of-life care. Reflecting on the paradox of human existence—the intertwining of love, death, and the essence of being—she discusses the daily challenges within the NHS, the psychological cost of providing care in an overburdened system, and the deeply personal impact of her father's passing.
Key Points Discussed:


Navigating NHS Challenges: Rachel details the struggle of providing compassionate care during Covid and emphasises the psychological toll it had on her and the healthcare professionals she knows.


Personal Growth Through Adversity: She reflects on her path from philosophy to medicine, highlighting how facing death and vulnerability has shaped her perspective on life and her practice in palliative care. For someone that’s confronted by death so often, hearing Rachel’s perspective on death, and outlook on life, is enlightening.


The Power of Human Connection: Rachel shares insights on the significance of sincerity and presence in the face of mortality, underscoring the importance of embracing life's dualities. When we are on our deathbeds, we don’t regret not sending more emails or earning more money. What matters to us most is the connections we have.


Legacy and Advocacy: Through her books and involvement in healthcare debates, she advocates for systemic change, particularly in palliative care, driven by her experiences and the profound lessons learned from the dying.


This episode underscores the importance of compassion, resilience, and the pursuit of meaning amidst life's greatest challenges. 
If you’d like to know more about Dr Rachel Clarke’s experience, you can find her book “Breath taking” on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breathtaking-UKs-human-story-Covid/dp/0349144567/
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In this week’s episode of "Agony Aunties," our discussion focuses on a parent finding their purpose as their children have grow up and left home. And so, we’ll talk about the importance of starting with self-awareness and exploration, and how mindfulness can help, along with small steps towards activities that bring joy or spark curiosity. On a broader scope, we’ll also talk about a concept that we’ve covered a few times already - the fertile void - where we transition from the end of one major undertaking to another. And we’ll also mention the importance of self-compassion at this time, and how it might be useful to look for inspiration from others' paths.
Resources:
Here’s more from Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org
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