UNDERSTANDABLE

Robert Siegers
  • 4.8 (4)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

  1. 7 Habits That Saved My Anxious-Avoidant Relationship

    18H AGO

    7 Habits That Saved My Anxious-Avoidant Relationship

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) For most of my life, I deeply longed for a warm, stable, loving relationship. But instead of feeling safe and connected, I was constantly triggered in my relationships. First being needy in the beginning, then panicking when things got too close. In fact, I broke up five times, leaving behind a lot of heartbreak. And I didn’t understand back then that I wasn’t “just needing space.” I was avoidantly attached and scared of commitment. But after working with four different therapists…after years of uncomfortable self-work… Today, I finally live together with my current partner, and I feel like I've arrived in a safe relationship where I don’t want to run away anymore for the first time in my life. And if I could move from attachment wounds… to building real emotional safety… Then I want to show you exactly how. ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:16 Habit 1: Make Emotions And Needs Visible 05:26 Habit 2: Stop Trying To Fix Each Other 07:53 Habit 3: Name Patterns In Real Time 10:38: Habit 4: Listen And Pause During Conflict 14:02 Habit 5: Practice Vulnerability Instead Of Protest 16:34 Habit 6: Stay True to Yourself, Even If It Feels Wrong 19:42 Habit 7: Prioritize Love Over Perfection ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    22 min
  2. E322 - Why You're So Sensitive To Criticism: 5 Reasons No One Talks About

    4D AGO

    E322 - Why You're So Sensitive To Criticism: 5 Reasons No One Talks About

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) Why does criticism hurt so much? I bet you know situations like these: You’re having dinner with the person you love. Everything seems great, but then they say: "You didn’t ask me how my day was. It felt like you don’t care." A solid statement, that kicked you out of you calm mind. In your ears that sounded like an accusation. Even worse, like a judgement. You feel criticized, at the same time hurt and offended. Your thoughts start spiraling. Why didn’t you ask, idiot? Why did you FAIL this one. You feel ashamed. Anxiety kicks in. What if they now think I don’t love them, because I forgot to ask? But then your inner guard raises it’s voice: You heat up and feel irritated. Why do they even expect me to ask how their day was? Mine was exhausting and I just forgot to ask.. Why do they always expect things from me? It’s unfair. When you can identify with this example, first of all, I’m not here to expose you. If you react like this, it’s totally understandable, because there are good reasons for it. Therefore today, in this video, I’m going to share 5 surprising reasons, why the smallest comment or criticism completely breaks you. ► Links and Resources: Self-Care Habits for HSPs / Neurodivergents: https://youtu.be/LdWEM_ZTZYM?si=15FaXVGsEMXC4hyp 10 Signs of CPTSD: https://youtu.be/nH6mOBoqCsc?si=lQiDt7xNmbtjpfpD ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:23 Reason 1: You’re Overwhelmed From Work And Life 02:46 Reason 2: Emotional Burnout 04:19 Reason 3: You’re Highly Sensitive /Neurodivergent 05:31 Reason 4: Childhood Trauma 07:32 Reason 5: Unstable Sense of Self ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    11 min
  3. E321 - Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most

    MAR 2

    E321 - Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) Why does the person you love the most also trigger you the most?‘Shouldn’t love with this person be easy?’Well, I’ll give you the answer straight away: It’s not a coincidence. It’s how love actually works.Your partner isn’t there just to make you happy, they’re in your life to mirror your insecurities and vulnerable parts and make you grow through them. But knowing that, reveals the true underlying question: What’s below these painful triggers?What do they reveal about us?And how can we grow through them so we don’t feel so angry, hurt, upset and ashamed anymore?► Links and Resources: Signs of an HSP: https://youtu.be/DPrgxLzFnxI?si=NsuitgFJiHkZkgo9 The Highly Sensitive Man: https://youtu.be/8LbQhAVXE3U?si=oJ43rcTt0k5W_nyq ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:58 Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most 02:48 What’s Below These Painful Triggers? 03:03 1. High Sensitivity 05:39 2. Painful Patterns From The Past 10:46 3. Insecurities & Vulnerabilities 12:59 How Can We Grow Through Our Triggers ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    15 min
  4. E320 - 11 Love Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Before I Broke Up

    FEB 22

    E320 - 11 Love Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Before I Broke Up

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠ ⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠ (Ad) Over the past 13 years, I ended five long-term relationships — all from my side. But did these relationships really have to end like that? Or did I push myself — and the people I loved — into unnecessary suffering and heartbreak? If you’re watching this right now, you might be in a similar place. Being in a relationship that feels overwhelming or Exhausting, asking yourself the same question: Could this relationship be saved… if I just understood the right things? In this video, I’m sharing 11 things I deeply wish I had known about love and relationships before I walked away five times. And this isn’t about telling you to stay or to leave. It’s about helping you pause — and see more clearly — before making a decision you can’t easily undo. If you’re on the edge right now, this video might change how you see your relationship. ► Links and Resources: You Can’t Change Them Video: https://youtu.be/JUu4MkLvrK4?si=v_LlvgwYC6DfTuSI Stop Conflict in Your Relationship: https://youtu.be/dF2QYyxqJjM?si=-AbNzIXXBP85O91e ⁠ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:37 Lesson 1: You’re Not Struggling Because “You Didn’t Meet The Perfect Partner Yet” 04:36 Lesson 2: Trying To Change Your Partner Is Already Part of The Problem 07:10 Lesson 3: Chemistry & Hobbies Won’t Save Your Relationship 09:43 Lesson 4: You Can’t “Win” A Fight 11:39 Lesson 5: A Challenging Partner Is A Good Partner 15:52 Lesson 6: Your Relationship Pain Is Trying To Tell You Something 19:37 Lesson 7: Most Relationships Don’t End Because “They’re Broken” 21:56 Lesson 8: It’s Often Not Your Partner, It’s Your Patterns 25:17 Lesson 9: But What If Your Values Were Built on Emotional Survival? 28:45 Lesson 10: Unconditional Love Isn’t How Adult Relationships Work 30:43 Lesson 11: Why You Will Choose The Wrong Person ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    33 min
  5. E319 - Why Your Partner Can’t Read Your Mind (But You Think They Should)

    FEB 15

    E319 - Why Your Partner Can’t Read Your Mind (But You Think They Should)

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass ⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠ (Ad) Do you sometimes feel disappointed because your partner doesn’t just know how you feel? You expect them to sense your mood, your needs, or what’s wrong, but without you saying a word. But when they don’t, it hurts… and creates pressure on both sides. In this episode, we talk about why empathy is not mind-reading, how this expectation silently damages relationships, and what actually helps partners understand each other better. ► Links and Resources: Why You Don’t Feel Seen Episode https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=dzP-tm70BkvJGPLV ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro - The Invisible Test 02:08 Silent Expectations 05:58 Solutions: From Being Guessed To Being Known ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    9 min
  6. E318 - Why You Keep Ruining Great Relationships (And Don't See It)

    FEB 8

    E318 - Why You Keep Ruining Great Relationships (And Don't See It)

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad) Why do you keep ruining great relationships? Every. Single. Time. The problem is not that you can’t find good people. It’s that every time a relationship starts to feel good… something goes wrong. You want a stable, long-term relationship. But instead you find yourself in heartbreak, frustration and anger about yourself. And the most confusing part is this: it’s not the toxic relationships that fall apart. It’s the ones that actually had potential, where you felt: this time, it’s different! ► Links and Resources: Conflict Resolution Video: https://youtu.be/PxiDnxXC2p8?si=g69xLC_ZXLgVRo4r Avoidant Attachment Style Video: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8 Relationship Anxiety Video: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY?si=gNSR9w1DpkVv7QTg How I Overcame My Commitment Issues Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUECZtfGkEM Trauma Bond Video: https://youtu.be/J70RwIER2BQ?si=-Qxp_lwNVYMD9sgo ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:19 Why You Keep Ruining Great Relationships 03:11 1. You’re Not Ready for a Real Relationship Yet 11:05 2. Closeness Feels Like a Trap (Avoidant Attachment) 16:19 3. Your Anxiety Runs the Relationship (Anxious Attachment) 20:51 4. Pain Was Your First Language of Connection ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    26 min
  7. E317 - Why This Attraction Feels Right — But Will Hurt You

    FEB 1

    E317 - Why This Attraction Feels Right — But Will Hurt You

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad) Attraction is a beautiful thing. We all desire it. We all want to feel pulled toward someone. Attraction is often what brings people together in the first place. It gives relationships energy. Yet, there are moments, where attraction suddenly becomes… dangerous. Maybe you’re already in a relationship. Maybe you’ve built a life with someone toxic. And yet there is this pull toward a person you'd be better off not being attracted to. ► Links and Resources: Limerence Video: https://youtu.be/cZ344b-d7DA?si=zE93uPeP9YjIRcSW Anxious Attachment Video: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY?si=vTxyvwzQS-xfYEXZ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠ https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Sirens and Sailors 02:20 Why We’re Hearing The Call 05:00 Solution: How To Not Fall For The Temptation 06:10 Final Thoughts ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    7 min
  8. E316 - Why Small Fights Feel Like Big Breakups

    JAN 25

    E316 - Why Small Fights Feel Like Big Breakups

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad) Sometimes, there’s a wild dragon in our mind. It makes our head turn small problems into something that feels threatening. Creating a big disaster and making our thoughts catastrophizing. The dragon can awaken at any time. When we get triggered — by our partner, our boss, or even by ourselves — our calm state gets hijacked. And suddenly, it feels like a fire-breathing dragon takes over our thoughts. It twists how we see things. It exaggerates danger. And if we’re not careful, we don’t just have the dragon in our mind — we become it. We say things we don’t mean. We assume the worst. We hurt other people — and ourselves — often without even realizing it. ► Links and Resources: Negativity Bias Article: https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/negativity-bias ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠ https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 The Inner Dragon 04:25 Why The Dragon Exists 07:50 How To Tame The Dragon 10:46 Final Thoughts ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    12 min
See All (338)

Ratings & Reviews

4.8
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

Information

  • Creator
    Robert Siegers
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    338
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Robert Siegers
  • Show Website
    UNDERSTANDABLE

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