UNDERSTANDABLE

Robert Siegers
  • 4.8 (5)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

  1. 2d ago

    The First Thing to Say When an Avoidant Returns after Rejection (They Won't Expect This)

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In today's video I share with you what to say first when they return. ► Links and Resources: Deactivation Strategies Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:05 Why Avoidants Reject You 05:04 You Have the Power 06:08 Reaction 1: The Avoidant Response 08:38 Reaction 2: The Anxious Response 10:55 Reaction 3: The Secure Response 13:16 Step 1: Define Your Standards 14:17 Step 2: Reconnect With Yourself 15:43 Step 3: Rebuild Your Life 18:53 How to Respond When They Return 20:53 The One Question to Ask ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  2. 4d ago

    Come Back So Strong After No Contact, Your Ex Won't Know Who They Left

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video, I share the one core principle that lets you come back from no contact so strong that your avoidant ex will barely recognize you. I explain why you still hope they will change, and how that hope traces back to a childhood pattern where holding on gave you a sense of control. The hard but freeing truth is that this hope has to die, and that what they did says nothing about your worth. Then I walk through the steps: process the grief, come home to yourself, rebuild the other areas of your life, and reach the point where you give love instead of seeking it.► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction01:08 How the Breakup Happened03:42 Why Hope Keeps You Attached08:02 The Foundation to Come Back Strong10:58 Practical Steps to Come Back Strong► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  3. 6d ago

    When You Both Stop Contacting Each Other... THIS Happens

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video, I walk you through the five stages of what happens during no contact, when both you and the person who pulled away stop reaching out. As a former avoidant, I explain how the whole power dynamic shifts: the avoidant, who always controlled closeness and distance, slowly becomes the one who feels something is missing, while you reconnect with yourself, rebuild your life, and become the secure one. In the end I show how to use that new power position, so you either move on to someone who treats you right or only take them back if they have truly changed. ► Links and Resources: Avoidant Attachment Explained Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vs3gDlmS18&pp=0gcJCS8MAYcqIYzv What a Relationship With an Avoidant Feels Like Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=79s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 00:55 Who Controls the Relationship 05:37 The Decision to Go No Contact 06:42 Stage 1: Grief and Silence 09:07 Stage 2: Reconnecting With Yourself 12:05 Stage 3: Rebuilding Your Life 14:30 Stage 4: The Tables Turn 16:41 Stage 5: You Rise, They Return 18:22 How to Use Your New Power ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  4. Sep 27

    THIS Makes an Avoidant Start Chasing You (Obsessed With You for Good)

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share with you from first hand experience as an avoidant myself what makes an avoidant chase you and obsessed with you. ► Links and Resources: The Avoidant’s Idea of a Healthy Relationship Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bFFqAAWobU&t=2274s Deactivation Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s My Rock Bottom Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=79s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:24 Disclaimer: "Getting Your Ex Back" 05:40 The Gottman Question 07:33 #1: Understand Their Core Wounds 11:02 #2: Go Full No Contact 15:47 #3: Build a Life Without Them 19:12 #4: When They Come Back 20:39 The Power of Compassion 24:41 #5: What You Can Change 28:42 What You Should Never Accept 31:31 Summary ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  5. Sep 25

    Recovered Avoidant Explains Why Avoidants Always Come Back To You

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain from my perspective as a recovered, healed avoidant, why avoidants always come back to you. ► Links and Resources: Limerence vs Love Video: https://youtu.be/mmNjDwdPwOA?si=5kwKwhP2ljk_ie8s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:08 The Recovery Timeline 01:55 Group 1: The Unaware Avoidant 08:11 Group 2: Coming Back for Regulation 11:48 Group 3: They Come Back Because They Love You 18:26 While You Wait for Them 19:18 When They Come Back ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  6. Sep 23

    What an Avoidant Secretly Thinks During No Contact (They'll Never Tell You)

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about what an avoidant secretly thinks during no contact. They will never tell you that... But I do as a recovered avoidant myself. ► Links and Resources: The Avoidant’s Idea of a Healthy Relationship Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bFFqAAWobU&t=2274s The Moment I Decided to Change Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=79s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:52 Group 1: The Unaware Avoidant 14:28 Group 2: The Self-Aware Avoidant 19:50 What the Aware Avoidant Hopes For 21:06 If They Come Back ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  7. Sep 20

    This Is What Losing You Really Feels Like to an Avoidant

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain in brutally honest detail how losing you really feels to an actual avoidant. ► Links and Resources: The Moment They're Afraid of Losing You Video: https://youtu.be/uVcVsS6UZvY My Rock Bottom Video: https://youtu.be/NkVmvMkZUI4?si=89L0sNvEjEGS0tZO Limerence vs Real Love Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmNjDwdPwOA&t=2s Shadow Work Video: https://youtu.be/xPSEl9sOd9I?si=qLGm14wMSPoCOPC1 ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 03:21 How Losing You Feels to an Avoidant 04:38 When The Longing Comes Back 05:38 Panic and Rock Bottom 06:44 Crawling Back During No Contact 08:11 What They Actually Lose: The Illusion 12:53 Your Perspective as a Partner 15:50 What You Can Do ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  8. Sep 18

    THIS Eventually Happens to an Avoidant Who Refuses to Heal

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about what eventually happens to an avoidant who refuses to heal. ► Links and Resources: Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx P*rn Addiction Video: https://youtu.be/zNfV-U7lxkg My Rock Bottom Moment Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=79s&pp=0gcJCRsMAYcqIYzv ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to Avoidance 01:01 Why Avoidance Works 04:27 Personal Patterns and Breakups 12:30 Decreasing Effectiveness 20:13 The Avoidant Midlife Crisis 25:15 Hitting Rock Bottom ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

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Ratings & Reviews

4.8
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

Information

  • Creator
    Robert Siegers
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    424
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Robert Siegers
  • Show Website
    UNDERSTANDABLE

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