Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman Cultivating H.E.R. Space

Hey lady! Are you ready to expand your perspective? This week Terri and Dr. Dom welcome Esther Ikoro and Darren Calhoun, hosts of the podcast Second Sunday, an Ambie-nominated podcast about Black queer people finding, keeping, and sometimes losing faith in the Black church. The hosts gather to dive deep into all of the issues that Queer folk have as they navigate their relationship with faith, religion, and building community. Esther and Darren tackle nuanced conversations with depth and skill while also managing to keep it fun and sexy. Not sure what we mean by that? You’ll have to wait until the OhYouBlatchet! segment to find out.

The two hosts offer strategies for overcoming church hurt, insight as to why finding community in church is as important an issue as ever, and possible solutions on how churches can energize their offerings to attract a younger crowd. Can we get an Amen? Tap in and find out how you can grow your faith community or support someone who is looking to find more like-hearted people with whom to fellowship! 

Quote of the Day:
"The saints ain't ready for this...but we're still gonna talk about it." 
– Second Sunday  

Where to find Second Sunday:
Podcast: Second Sunday
Instagram: @secondsundaypod
Instagram: @estheralready
Instagram: @heydarren  

Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary  

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC  

Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com

Hey lady! Have you ever been gaslit and traumatized by a toxic, narcissistic so-and-so who abused your trust, violated your boundaries, and caused you to doubt yourself? Does that sentence trigger you? Well, if it does then tune in to this week’s episode so Dr. Dom and Terri can help take the sting out of those words and give you the context around what certain terms mean so you can accurately assess and process events in your life.

The Internet is a wonderful tool, but certain words and phrases can catch on and become buzzy and slowly their meaning can become distorted. This week, Terri and Dr. Dom identify terms that are trendy and provide accurate definitions and examples so that you don’t confuse lovebombing with something more benign. And, if you want to dive deeper into some of these concepts check out these previous episodes: 

✓ S10E2: Is Your Partner a Narcissist? Diving into Dr. Ramani Durvasula's Narcissism Quiz
✓ S10E3: How to Finally Leave Your Narcissistic Partner with Dr. Ramani Durvasula
✓ S11E1: Getting Back to Dating After a Toxic Relationship
✓ S17E3: What Gaslighting, Red Flags, and, Manipulation Sound Like
✓ S17E4: How to Stand Your Ground and Hold Gaslighters Accountable
✓ S23E1: Trauma Bonding: Protecting Yourself From Unhealthy Relationships


Words to Use Instead:
1. Gaslighting→ Manipulating, lying
2. Toxic→ Unhealthy, difficult
3. Traumatized→ Upset, embarrassed
4. Triggered→ Activated, reminded
5. Narcissist→ Selfish, self-centered
6. Boundaries → Limit, rule, guideline

Quote of the Day:
“Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.” 
– Rita Mae Brown  

Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary  

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC  

Where to find us:
Twitter:a href="https://twitter.com/herspacepodcast/"...

Hey lady! Doesn’t it seem like 2024 took off in a full sprint? This year has moved rather quickly, which is why this week Terri and Dr. Dom invite Ashley Menzies Babatunde, host of the No Straight Path podcast, to discuss the power of the pause, and why honoring the moments when life slows you down can be your biggest asset and opportunity to find and strengthen your authentic self. Ashley shares her inspirational story of advocating for herself after a major life event showed her the beauty in her present, albeit difficult, circumstance so that she could create a life rich with meaning. Her decision to embrace where her life took her next with curiosity and wonder opened possibilities that were better than she could have imagined. Join Dr. Dom and Terri for a motivating conversation about finding the blessings and beauty in your life stage.

Quote of the Day:
"The pauses in life taught me how to live." – Ashley Menzies Babatunde  

Where to find Ashley Menzies Babatunde:
Website: ashleymenzies.com
Podcast: No Straight Path
Instagram: @ms_menzies
Instagram: @no_straight_path
LinkedIn: Ashley Menzies  

Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary  

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC  

Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com

Hey lady! This week, Dr. Dom and Terri step in their bag and talk about the tender topic of trauma bonding and why it can cause serious harm to you if you let it go unchecked. What is trauma bonding? Social media has a way of amplifying new trends and concepts, but sometimes those new concepts are buzzy but inaccurate. Dr. Dom and Terri delve into what trauma bonding actually is so that you have a framework of how to navigate situations where the potential for harm is high. Break out your Cultivating H.E.R. Space journal, located in the Cultivating H.E.R. Space shop, and create a safe space for you to identify the areas where you can heal so that those who aim to trauma bond with you have nowhere to hook into you. And, remember take care and go at a pace that feels supportive while you listen – we love you, lady!

Quote of the Day:
"Our virtues are wrapped inside of our limitations. It is only when we are in close proximity to others that we begin to intimately explore the boundaries of our virtues by slamming into our limitations."
– Resmaa Menakem  

Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary  

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC  

Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com

Hey lady! Have you ever heard the saying you are who you say you are? Well, this week Terri and Dr. Dom dive deep into the power of our thoughts and what we say and why having a healthy relationship with both is the key to living the life of your wildest dreams. Dr. Dom and Terri have tips on how to get to the root of what’s blocking you from living your most fulfilled life. Rewiring your brain through positive self-talk is a major undertaking, but the reward is a clear vision of who you are authentically and worth the work involved. Grab your Cultivating H.E.R. Space journal and join in this interactive episode. Tap in with us on Instagram and let us know how you're doing the work to manifest your best life!

Techniques to Change Beliefs 
1. Cognitive restructuring: Identifying negative thoughts, challenging their validity, and replacing them with positive, realistic thoughts.
2. Affirmations and positive self-talk: Affirmations are powerful in reprogramming the subconscious mind and provide examples of effective affirmations.
3. Visualization and mental rehearsal: Visualizing desired outcomes can reinforce new beliefs and increase motivation.

Practical Tips and Exercises: Daily practices to reinforce new, empowering beliefs
1. Start each day with positive affirmations.
2. Keep a gratitude journal to focus on positive aspects of life. 
3. Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences.
4. Practice patience and be persistent as changing deeply held beliefs takes time and effort.

Quote of the Day:
“Life is about the management of energy, where you place your attention, is where you place your energy." 
– Dr. Joe Dispenza  

Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary  

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC  

Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com

Hey lady! This week it’s game time! That’s right, this week Dr. Dom and Terri play the classic game “Never Have I Ever” as a way to discuss their decision-making processes and how they keep a growth mindset in their self-development toolbelt. Life is full of lessons and can be a beautiful adventure if you allow yourself to apply them. So, how are you adding dimension and color to your story? And, how can you expand your point-of-view in a way that removes judgment and expands your capacity to have a psychologically rich experience?

Terri and Dr. Dom offer powerful insights for increasing your ability to make solid decisions, but they spill hot tea in the Aftershow about where some of those decisions have taken them. Check them out on Patreon! 

1. Embrace New Experiences     
"Never have I ever" moments often highlight things we've never tried. Step out of your comfort zones and try new activities. 
Lesson: Life is enriched by new experiences. Don’t be afraid to try something new, even if it seems daunting at first.

2. Learn from Missed Opportunities 
Reflect on things you haven’t done and consider why. Was it fear, lack of opportunity, or something else?    
Lesson: Understanding the reasons behind your "never" moments can provide insight and help you overcome barriers in the future.

3. Value of Shared Experiences     
Sharing “Never Have I Ever” stories can foster connections and understanding. It can be surprising to see how much you have in common with others. 
Lesson: Shared experiences, even those you haven't had yet, can bring people together and create a sense of community.

4. Growth Through Challenges 
Identify times when trying something new led to personal growth or overcoming a challenge. 
Lesson: Challenging yourself to try new things, even if they’re outside your comfort zone, can lead to significant personal growth.

5. Appreciate Individual Journeys 
Everyone's list of "Never Have I Ever" will be different. Appreciate and respect each person's unique journey.     
Lesson: Everyone’s life path is unique, and that's what makes our stories rich and diverse.

6. Reflect on the Past, Plan for the Future 
Reflect on things you’ve never done and consider making a list of things you’d like to try in the future.    
Lesson: Reflecting on the past can help set meaningful goals for the future.

Quote of the Day:
"I don't have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect, and beautiful journey of my life." 
— Kerry Washington  

Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary  

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC  

Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcastbr...