Grief Out Loud The Dougy Center
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- Health & Fitness
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Remember the last time you tried to talk about grief and suddenly everyone left the room? Grief Out Loud is opening up this often avoided conversation because grief is hard enough without having to go through it alone. We bring you a mix of personal stories, tips for supporting children, teens, and yourself, and interviews with bereavement professionals. Platitude and cliché-free, we promise! Grief Out Loud is hosted by Jana DeCristofaro and produced by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families in Portland, Oregon.
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It's A Loss That's Hard To Talk About - Grieving A Friend
Whenever Annette & Mel connect, there's always a third person in the mix. That third person is Amy, their friend and chosen family member who died in 2012 of pulmonary fibrosis. While they each had a unique friendship with her, both connections were formative and deep. When Amy died, Annette and Mel's friendship grew stronger, because of their shared grief.
This episode is part of a series focused on grieving the death of a friend. As much as we decry there being a hierarchy of grief, most people still assume the death of a family member is harder than the death of a friend. In reality though, the death of a friend or chosen family member can be absolutely devastating, in ways that catch us, and others, off guard.
We discuss:
Amy's magnetic personality - and what she meant to each of them What they both learned from being friends with her The different friendships Mel & Annette had with Amy, while still being part of the same circle How Annette & Mel got closer through Amy's illness and death Witnessing Amy's rapid deterioration How she tried to have end of life conversations with both of them When they each realized that Amy was going to die What grief has been like for both of them Annette being diagnosed with the same illness that Amy had The "Amy objects" they keep close Navigating new relationships with people who never met Amy Learn more about Annette Leonard and listen to her podcast, Chronic Wellness. -
Creating A Home For Grief - Laura Green
What if there was a place you could go in your grief and be both perfect and broken? That's the kind of place Laura Green dreamed up with her friend and co-founder, Sascha Demerjian. Together they created The Grief House, a community space for people to explore grief through movement, conversation, creativity, and care. Since she was very young, Laura can remember being afraid of death. Afraid of losing everyone and everything she cared about, especially her mother. Three years after starting The Grief House, Laura had to face that biggest fear when her mother, Grace, died in the summer of 2023.
We discuss:
Laura's current grief expression - clay Why she feels so lucky to be her mother's daughter The fear of death she's had as long as she can remember How her mother's death story has influenced Laura's grief story Why it was so important for Laura to spend time with her mother's body The physicality of death and grief The Grief House's origin story What Laura and her co-founder are dreaming up next for The Grief House Listen to Laura and co-founder Sascha on their podcast, Portals.
Follow The Grief House on IG. -
“I Felt Like Half A Person” – On Becoming A Widow
In an instant, Leslie went from sharing every aspect of life with her husband Ryan to feeling like half a person. Leslie, Ryan, their two young children, and their extended family were on vacation in California when Ryan told Leslie that something didn't feel right. He was rushed to the hospital where he died of a stroke and an aneurysym, leaving Leslie to figure out how to live their life without him. The people Leslie most wanted to talk to in her grief were other widows. This inspired her to start Vids for Wids - a project to capture the stories of widows in the hopes of helping others feel less alone.
We discuss:
How Leslie and Ryan met as co-workers
The day Ryan died while they were on vacation
Suddenly feeling like half a person without Ryan
Telling her very young children about his death
The early days and weeks of widowhood
How her kids’ grief is changing over time
The power of talking to other widows
What Leslie learned about grief from Ryan
Dating and becoming a remarried widow
Leslie’s Vids for Wids project to support other widows -
Putting Grief On Hold - Channing Frye
What happens when you put your grief on hold? In the summer of 2016, Channing Frye was riding high. After over a decade in the NBA, his team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, had won the Championship. Then, in the fall, he hit one of the lowest lows. His mother Karen died of cancer. Just a month later his father, Thomas, also died. Channing put his grief on hold to deal with the logistics of planning two funerals, supporting his family, and going back to work as a professional athlete. Eventually, with the help of his wife, his friends, and a therapist, Channing started to talk about and explore grief in ways that worked better for him. Doing this allowed him to get more present in his life and explore new passions like podcasting and starting a wine label, Chosen Family Wines.
We discuss:
Channing’s parents and how they supported him in his basketball career What it was like when his parents died Being with his mom as she was dying Putting his grief on hold to take care of business How his grief intensified after his dad’s death Going back to the NBA soon after his parents’ deaths The role alcohol played in his early grief How he got into therapy and started working with his grief Reclaiming significant days like birthdays, Father’s Day, and other holidays How he stays grounded & connected to his parents The connection between grief and the name of his wine label, Chosen Family Follow Channing on IG
Listen to his podcast, Road Trippin' -
The Dangers Of Pathologizing Grief - Dr. Donna Schuurman, EdD, FT
Dr. Donna Schuurman is back - this time talking about the dangers of pathologizing grief. While the term "complicated grief" has been used in various grief settings for years, it wasn't until March of 2022 that Prolonged Grief Disorder made it into the DSM-5-TR - the Diagnostical & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - as an official diagnosis. This conversation explores the concerns Donna and others in the field share about the move to pathologize grief.
We discuss:
What Donna’s learned about grief working in the field for over 30 years
How that work experience shapes her personal grief
Why she is so passionate about this topic
The history of how Prolonged Grief Disorder came to be in the DSM How diagnoses are social constructs - and who often gets left out of the studies behind these constructs
The dangers of pathologizing grief as a mental disorder
The (short list) of positives of Prolonged Grief Disorder being available as a diagnosis
Other trends in the field to pathologize or "do away" with grief What Donna is optimistic about in the field of bereavement
Register for Donna’s upcoming webinar:
Flawed Foundations, Deconstructing Three Contemporary Grief Constructs
Thursday, February 8, 2024.
Donna L. Schuurman, EdD, FT, is the Senior Director of Advocacy & Education at Dougy Center. Dr. Schuurman was the Executive Director of Dougy Center from 1991–2015. Dr. Schuurman is an internationally recognized authority on grief and bereaved children, teens, and families, and the author of Never the Same: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent (St. Martin’s Press, 2003), among other publications.
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Can They Even Understand? - Preschoolers & Grief
When Sat Kaur Khalsa, MSW, was three, her older brother died in a drowning accident. After his death, he continued to disappear - his photos were taken down and no one talked about him. As she grew up, she learned the implicit lesson to be a good kid because her parents were already dealing with enough. She also learned that grief wasn't something you talked about or shared with others. Now, as an adult, she's working to make sure kids her age get to have a different experience. Sat Kaur is the Family Services Coordinator at Dougy Center where she supports children of all ages and their families after a death. In that role she has a special love for working the youngest kids - those who are 3-5 years old - and helping them have the chance to do what she didn't: talk about their people, express their emotions, and be with others who get what they are going through.
We discuss:
Sat Kaur's role at Dougy Center & personal connection to the work What she remembers about being three when her older brother died How his death changed her family and their dynamic Learning the implicit lesson to be a good kid to not make things harder for her parents Her commitment to being more open about grief with her own child Why she loves working with preschoolers who are grieving How preschoolers grieve similarly and differently to older kids and teens Suggestions for age appropriate ways to talk about grief and loss What adults can do to support preschoolers who are grieving a death Be sure to check out our Youngest Grievers Toolkit for books, Tip Sheets, activities, and more.
Customer Reviews
A podcast that allows you to learn, and reflect on the grief experience and your own grief story
Grief Out Loud is a podcast that honesty surprised me. Like so many, I have a complicated history with grief, and being able to listen to individuals, community members, and professions in the field of bereavement has left me feeling much more connected to others and much more forgiving of myself. The host Jana navigates each episode, with so much compassion and understanding. And the variety of topics is outstanding! Informative. Heart felt. Vulnerable. Sad. Memorable. Important. Relatable. Yes, even funny at times. And ultimately leaves me feeling more connected. Would highly recommend.
Changing the Stigma
The best podcast out there for grievers and those interested in death and dying or working in that field. The hosts are so compassionate and ask the perfect questions. The guests are always very mindful and knowledgeable. I get something new out of every episode I listen to. Would highly recommend to anyone grieving as a tool towards resiliency through a really tough time.
Simply the best
There are so many podcasts out there on grief but Grief Out Loud is one of only a few that focus on kids and families and strengthening those bonds after a loss. Jana DeCristofaro stands out as a smart, compassionate host who gets to the point of the story and goes deep with her guests. A great podcast for anyone dealing with loss.