Grief Out Loud The Dougy Center

Sometimes we can't really begin to understand grief - ours or anyone else's - if we don't have space to talk about the death. The context surrounding how someone died matters and can shape our grief in meaningful ways. This was true for Kari Lyons-Price, MSW, who was a caregiver for her parents, Hal and Sylvia, for many years. They died three years apart, her dad in 2019 and her mom in 2022, and the circumstances of their deaths greatly impacted Kari and her grief. 
We discuss:
How her parents lived - and how they each died Why their death stories matter when it comes to grief The anger and resentment in the immediate aftermath of her father's death What she's done to come to terms with the circumstances of each of their deaths The role advocacy and education in the realm of care facilities played in that process Making decisions about her mother's care in light of how her father died and the pandemic The ongoing, slow nature of grief when someone has a long-term degenerative illness What it's meant to no longer be a caregiver for her parents Overcoming her family's narrative of autonomy and learning to accept support in grief Where Kari finds her foundation now  

In May of 2023, Sweta Vikram was overwhelmed with grief. In the span of three days, her father died, her father-in-law died, and it was the  9-year anniversary of her mother’s death. When she looked for information on how to survive the maelstrom of emotions, she found reassurances that she would eventually get to the other side, but nothing that showed her how to do that. So, Sweta set out to create the resource she was looking for and recently published, The Loss That Binds Us, a manual with 108 practical tips to survive and navigate grief.  

We discuss:
The overwhelm of multiple losses  Turning to writing for solace and support Lessons she learned from each of her parents The impact of sudden vs. expected death Becoming a protector & caregiver for her dad - and the comfort that brought after he died How grief shaped Sweta's values The meaning behind the number 108 across multiple cultures How she managed to finish her PhD in Ayurvedic Medicine so early in her grief Which of Sweta's tips are the easiest and hardest for her to follow Her relationship to forgiveness in the context of grief How she approaches the anniversary season Sweta's self-care practices Sweta Srivastava Vikram is an international speaker, author, and Ayurvedic Doctor who also teaches yoga and meditation.

Camille Sapara Barton is a social imagineer who is reimagining how we define and relate to grief. As a writer, artist, and somatic practitioner, Camille is looking to create a new grief narrative expansive enough to include multiple forms of individual and collective grief, especially for queer, trans, and BIPOC communities. In Camille's book, Tending Grief, they offer rituals and embodied practices for feeling into and metabolizing grief. 
Camille's lived experience with grieving death & non-death losses Support for grief that falls outside the traditional box Grief as a generative process Camille's learning from Dagara spiritual traditions and Sobonfu Somé Collective grief that comes out of displacement, colonization, and threats to queer & trans people around the world How we numb our grief and the cost of doing so The narrative Camille is hoping to create around grief Examples of embodied practices to tend grief  Be sure to check out Camille's new book, Tending Grief - Embodied Rituals for Holding Our Sorrow and Growing Cultures of Care in Community. 

Cody Delistraty is a journalist and he's also a son whose mother died of cancer. These two identities intersect in his new book, The Grief Cure, which chronicles his quest to find a way to eliminate the pain of grief. After exploring Laughter Therapy, silent meditation, Breakup Bootcamp, and others avenues for grief expression, Cody landed where so many others do: realizing the "cure" for grief is allowing it to exist, while still engaging with life. 
We discuss: 
Who Cody was when his mom died How he used to define "successful" grief The secondary losses connected to his mother's death How his relationship to the 5 Stages of Grief evolved over time The quest to "cure" grief and the options he explored Which grief memory Cody most wished he could erase How important community can be Learning to embrace both grief and an ongoing connection with his mother Cody Delistraty is a journalist and speechwriter in New York City. As a journalist, he has written stories, profiles and essays for The New York Times, The New Yorker and The Atlantic, among many others. He has served as culture editor at The Wall Street Journal‘s magazine and as features editor of the Paris-based magazine Mastermind.

It's impossible to speak for an entire community, especially when it comes to grief, but Sharice Burnett, LCSW, knows a lot about the ripple effect of loss in the Black and African American community in Portland, OR. Born and raised in the community, Sharice is a clinical mental health therapist and consultant dedicated to naming and dismantling the larger systemic barriers that stand in the way of Black children and families having access to culturally relevant support, particularly mental health and grief support. 
We discuss:
Grieving the loss of an entire generation of elders during the Covid-19 pandemic The grief and displacement from the Vanport Flood of 1948 The cultural nuances of grief Historic, intergenerational, and collective grief The unacknowledged grief of racism How each death & loss ripples out to the larger Black/African American Portland community How safety from racial harm is critical to accessing grief support services Sharice's hopes and dreams for creating more culturally relevant grief support Creative grief support & healing spaces for Portland's Black community (Black Rose Wellness)  This episode is the third and final in our 2024 three-part series highlighting the voices of communities who have historically been underrepresented in the grief world. The series is part of an ongoing collaboration between Dougy Center and The New York Life Foundation. We are deeply grateful for New York Life Foundation's tireless support and advocacy for children and teens who are grieving.

Lisa Keefauver is a lot of things - she's a writer, speaker, educator, social worker, podcast host, mother, widow, and grief activist. She came to the last two titles when her personal experience of grieving for her husband Eric, who died of a brain tumor in 2011, intersected with her professional life as a clinician. At this intersection, Lisa realized just how grief illiterate the world is and how that illiteracy creates unnecessary suffering for those who are grieving. Lisa hosts the acclaimed podcast, Grief is a Sneaky Bitch and recently published her book, Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss.   
We discuss:
The gift of love from her husband Eric Living in the both/and of grief and life Being a mental health professional while grieving Navigating a breast cancer diagnosis in a medical system that failed her husband How we bring our full history into each new loss The "shoulds" that hassled Lisa The grief time warp Grief thieves - including the one in the mirror Lisa's go-to skill in her own grief The power of observation & being with grief as it is Lisa Keefauver is a grief activist, speaker and author. She began her career as a social worker and narrative therapist in 2004. She expanded her activism in a variety of roles: clinical director, non-profit co-founder, clinical supervisor, facilitator of personal and professional growth and healing, and mentor. Lisa's wisdom and insights on grief are also embodied from her personal losses, including the death of her husband Eric in 2011.