Hello Postpartum Hello Postpartum

 Throughout her pregnancy and postpartum, Maria noticed a huge lack of postpartum care, especially for those with less access to support and resources. So, she started In Kind Boxes. Listen in to hear her story.
What is In Kind Boxes?
In Kind Boxes is a non-profit organization aiming to reduce the gaps and disparities in postpartum care through its curated, high-quality postpartum and baby care boxes.
How can I order a box?
Boxes are available online at their website inkindboxes.org. You have the option to submit a family to have a box donated to them or purchase. All boxes carry the same quality of goods because no family should be excluded from getting quality products to help in the postpartum journey.

How can I support In Kind Boxes?
You can support In Kind Boxes by donating on their website or social media platforms. Every dollar matters, even just the price of a cup of coffee, goes a long way in suppor the women and products that make In Kind Boxes an essential to postpartum care.
Topics Covered:
The story behind In Kind Boxes (1:33)
How to access and support (6:39)
What's in the box? (9:04)
Postpartum care in the US (13:34)
Packed by volunteers (22:21)
Making it happen (25:35)
Resources:
Check out In Kind Boxes website and on instagram to purchase, nominate or donate.

 Lauren A. Tetenbaum is an advocate and therapist certified in perinatal mental health who specializes in life transitions affecting millennial and young women.

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With an approach grounded in empathy and emotional intelligence, Lauren counsels clients on romantic relationships, career choices, pregnancy and parenting, anxiety, and family dynamics. She offers cognitive behavioral and feminist-based psychotherapy to individuals and couples.

 

A mother of two with over a decade of experience in the legal industry, Lauren also facilitates support groups for working, new, and aspiring parents and provides consulting and mental health coaching to support parents in corporate settings. She is passionate about building connections and giving back to her community.

What is the Invisible Load?
The invisible load is the behind the scenes work that goes into being a parent. It can be logistical, physical, emotional or mental. It's the moms usually that are doing this kind of work in the household.

Since they are conditioned from an early age to be the caretakers in a family dynamic, it can be hard to let go of control.

Sometimes we think it is easier to do it yourself, but negative feelings can arise from this.


The damage of cultural expectations
Mom as the primary parent is still very much expected in today's society. Dad's are usually only does the bare minimum. This can lead to an increase in anxiety, burnout, resentment and can sometimes trigger unwanted anger toward both your partner and your children.

Even full time working moms are expected to do all the things. Even when your partner reaches out to help, relinquishing control is easier said than done because of how society has influenced the role of mothers to be.

 

“Change happens when we are the squeaky wheel, as hard as it may be.”
 

Getting the conversation started
The best way forward in changing this is to start small. Being self aware of your role and your responsibilities is the first step. Communicating with your partner how you are feeling and why brings awareness to them as to how they can possibly approach things differently and offer you support.

Making a list and having open conversations is a great place to start. And remembering that you are not relinquishing control but rather sharing the load, working as a team, is a great way to put things in perspective for your family to support each other in the ever fluctuating world of parenting.


Topics covered
The invisible load (2:37)

Real life examples (7:51)

Anxiety (13:22)

The route not chosen (24:03)

The idea of maintaining boundaries (28:52)

Strategies to get the conversation started (32:20)

Additional resources
Book: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky Feeling Resentment Towards Your Partner After Birth? Here’s Why Maternal Gatekeeping and The Dark Side of “Doing It All” New Baby? Six Tips for Setting Boundaries with Family Done with Being the Default: How Moms Can Advocate for Change & Improve their Mental Health

038 | Nicole Alfred, C-Section Recovery Coach
Nicole Alfred is a cesarean recovery coach, registered massage therapist, and mother of two. She has given birth two times by C-section: one emergent and traumatic, the other empowered and planned. Her different experiences opened her eyes to the abject lack of support mothers receive post-operatively. Nicole sees a need for much more emotional and physical attention.

Nicole believes there are important steps that new mothers need to take beginning immediately after surgery and through the first 12 weeks postpartum for optimizing their recovery. These steps include restoring normal function with every day movements, wound & scar healing, core muscle system recovery, and connecting with the incision scar to facilitate emotional processing and healing.


How c-section recovery looks today
C-sections are the 2nd most popular surgery done daily. With healthcare based in a man's world, women's care is not prioritized, or often understood, as to what we need after having a baby, whether natural or by c-section.

Being responsible for a child in recovery is a lot different from recovering from any other surgery or hospital stay. A lot of mother's fall into survival mode and can never turn that switch off. Lack of knowledge and support, from either our doctors or others, effects women's' recovery greatly when we don't know what to focus on or have the ability to do so.


What we should know in the first 2 weeks
C-section recovery requires a lot of rest. Practicing basic functional movements and listening to your body is essential in the first 2 weeks of recovery. Having support in those movements can help make the process less frustrating in teaching your muscles how to turn back on.

As time move forward in your recovery, resting as often as possible between movements is important. Doing anything that requires intense movement, like trips to the store or walking long distances, can drastically effect your recovery in a negative way.

 

“C-section recovery can be easy and feel empowering.”
 

Ways to Support Your Body
Mothers are so good at not prioritizing themselves. By taking care of our bodies and our minds in recovery, we are creating a better environment for our children to learn and understand from.

There is a sequential order of things that need to be worked on when it comes to c-section recovery. Focusing on key areas like posture, breathing exercises, pelvic floor support, core system exercises, and scar massage are some of the ways you can support yourself.  


Topics covered
What got Nicole started as a c-section recovery coach (1:41)

3 misconceptions around cesarian recovery (8:19)

What you should and should not do in the first 2 weeks (12:37)

Looking at the layers (19:26)

We should prioritize recovery (24:10)

Getting back to the basics (30:47)

Healing the c-section shelf (33:40)

Ignoring yourself (44:02)

Join author and podcaster Anna Cusack as she shares her views on why the traditional structure of our society makes parenting - and mothering - that much more challenging. Layer on a global pandemic, and it's no wonder most mothers are feeling stress and burnout.

037 | Anna Cusack, Postpartum Doula & Author
Anna Cusack is a postpartum doula and motherhood support mentor, guiding new and experienced parents through pregnancy, the fourth trimester and beyond.

Anna combines her knowledge in areas such as traditional postpartum care, breastfeeding support, motherhood studies and exercise physiology to help mothers and parents feel heard, seen and supported through the highs, lows and sticking points of their child-raising journeys.


How society is constantly at war with mothers
There is no realistic training for parents to break away from traditional parenting. There is a biological factor that is set in stone from previous generations. The gender nature gets locked in, making it difficult to step away from.

So many factors come into play for mothers, including workload, both inside and outside the home, lack of time, sleep and mental capacity. A mothers workload doubles with each child and usually is unsupported throughout her day to day if the partner is working outside the home.

As much as this can feel isolating and personal, it is a social norm and everyone is effected by it.


Why do I feel like a bad mom?
Harder things, higher intensity. Mothers often experience an increase in sleep deprivation, which can result in irrational or irritable behavior. When this happens, we lash out at the ones we feel comfortable with, meaning our partners and our children.

Having these feelings or anger and resentment and reflecting on your actions can cause incredible guilt for a mother, resulting in feeling inadequate and believing that you are an unfit or unworthy parent.


What do you do when you feel like a bad mother?
Create opportunities to discuss how both you and your partner can support each other. A space where you can both talk and find a way to help alleviate these feelings without disruptions is important. Making a list of what you each do and talk about what you can each do to give each other support that they need is a great way to get started.

Communicate how these things are making you feel, even if they are small, silly things, and specify how you would like them to help to reduce overwhelm, anger and guilt.


Topics covered
Socialized and gendered nature of modern society (2:17)

24 minutes with dad (13:17)

How to overcome the outdated way of thinking (19:09)

Good, calm, peaceful mom (26:24)

Drop guilt and remove overwhelm (30:56)

An amplification of early motherhood (41:50)

Final question (45:05)


Resources
You can download Anna's free "8 Steps to Your Peaceful Postpartum" eguide and view her postpartum support, parent mentoring and special events here: www.annacusack.com.au

Find her book "Mama, You're Not Broken: Unmasking the Unspoken Emotions of Modern Motherhood" on Amazon, Kindle and here: www.annacusack.com.au/book

You can also catch her on the "Anna Asks" podcast via your preferred podcast app, and connect on socials @annacusackpostpartum on Instagram and www.facebook.com/annacusackpostpartum
www.anchor.fm/annaasks/

Can you please also reference this in the show notes. I couldn’t recall the name of Dr Petra Bueskens and her work when discussing the example of Revolving Mothers in the episode:
Dr Petra Bueskens.
Modern Motherhood
and Women’s Dual Identity
es: Rewriting the Sexual Contract
Abingdon, Oxon; New York: Routledge, 2018

036 | Gigi Vera Vincent, Postpartum Doula
Gigi Vera Vincent is a postpartum doula, newborn care specialist, lactation educator, mother to three toddlers, including twins, and a wife to my high school sweetheart.

She empowers families, so once baby arrives, they can focus on resting and bonding instead of researching or stressing. She's here to streamline the newborn learning curve and guide birth parents, partners, and other family members. There isn’t ONE way to have and raise a little human. Gigi is here to assist parents as they find THEIR way so that they can thrive in the fourth trimester and beyond.

What is the Dobbs Decision?
Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, is a landmark decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in which the court held that the Constitution of the United States does not grant a right to abortion. This 2022 decision overturned the 1973 ruling of Roe v. Wade, which granted the right to have an abortion.

The ruling has the potential to undermine so many other cases that protect our right to privacy. Cases pertaining to gay rights, interracial marriage, access to birth control, LGBTQ rights etc. all have the potential to be threatened.


The Facts about Abortion
1/4 women will have an abortion by 45 years old. The majority are between the ages of 20-29, but there is a substantial percentage that are older, most are married and either already have one or multiple children.

92% are happening in the 1st trimester. The 7% happening later, are usually due to medical issue, spontaneous abortion, risk to baby or mother or a nonviable pregnancy, meaning the chance of the pregnancy resulting in a healthy, living baby is not possible. Ectopic pregnancies and failed intrauterine pregnancies are nonviable.

Who does the Dobbs Decision effect?
A lot of people feel that this will only really target those who want an abortion. But as new laws and restrictions on abortion are beginning to arise state-by-state, we are quickly discovering that is far from the truth.

There have already been cases where women have been incarcerated for having a miscarriage. Some states are trying to limit access to birth control. Browsing history, through apps and social media, have shared data with authorities from users who have search history or social posts pertaining to seeking abortion.

This is just the beginning, as we still don't know how this will effect medical emergencies due to miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, or couples seeking fertility treatments like IVF.


"The goal is not to protect life. The goal is to maintain control."
 

Tips to Prepare & Support
Stocking up on birth control and getting access to abortion pills, if your state allows, is a great way to be prepared for the worst. If your state is restricted, look into other state access. Browsing privacy is important, so researching how you can use the internet safely, as well as any apps pertaining to cycle tracking is another way to make sure your data is safe.

Learn from other communities and organizations that give information on how to respond to discrimination is essential. Look at the corporations and businesses where you spend your money. Do these places have the same values as you? Do they support causes you support? Where we choose to spend your money really has a big impact.

We are fighting each other for our own decisions and our own bodies. We should be fighting for policies that support our decisions, the freedom to live the life that we want.


Topics covered
Who is actually having abortions? (1:46)
What are your options with limited care states? (5:46)
Why data is so important in some states (8:59)
Access to standardized care that women actually need (14:07)
Support after an abortion (20:07)
The Dobbs decision (23:45)
Expanding your knowledge (29:16)
It's important to be prepared (35:00)
Battle between people who are choosing to break the mold (41:26)


Resources

Having a baby changes everything, especially your relationship with your partner. Here's how to save your relationship - and your sanity - once a little one is involved. Plus, Chelsea breaks down her top tips for clear, effective communication that can change everything.
 
Topics Covered:
A roadtrip is like motherhood (2:00)
The massive BUT in your new parent relationship (3:43)
What are the signs of resentment towards your partner (9:35)
Recommit to growing together (15:10)
Ways to stay connected to your partner (16:44)
This isn't gonna work, tips for early postpartum days (22:13)
How tender our relationships are after having a baby (26:01)
Words of encouragement for those in the trenches (27:44)
Final Question (34:05)