Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties lost queer spaces

One of the things that I get asked a lot when people find out that I do this show is 'well, why are queer spaces important? bars and clubs close all the time, why should we care about them just because they're queer?'.



And there are lots of answers to that, but the one that I keep coming back to is that they aren't just businesses - they're community hubs, they're late-night befriending services, and they are places where people get to explore and push themselves.



And it was wonderful to be reminded of all of that in this week's conversation (which is our first ever episode focussed on a lost space in New Zealand!).

I got to talk to Edward Cowley, who you may know by his drag alter-ego Buckwheat, about The Staircase, a legendary space (or, spaces, rather, as it moved to a few different venues over its time) in Auckland where Edward first started going when he was underage and before homosexuality was even legal in the country.



It was here that he first found his tribe, started drag, and shook his thing on the dancefloor.

In fact, he has such an affinity to the space that he even went on to be a co-owner - and, as co-owner he made sure that the space was more than just a business, but a community hub.



Follow me

Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/queerqueerword⁠



Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Follow my guest

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/buckwheat_drag_diva

It's time to talk all about the fine art of ho-ing.

And who is going to guide us through this very important lesson?

Why, it's Mehgan Sapphire, host of the Sapphire's Earplay podcast.

Mehgan joined me to talk about her lost space, The Lexington, a San Franciscan lesbian bar that she went to when she was just a little baby gay in her college days.

Along the way we discuss late night hook ups, the road to polyamory, and, of course, the importance of good hygiene...

And once you've listened to this conversation make sure you also download this week's episode of Mehgan's show, Sapphire's Earplay, as we did a swap-a-roo and I am the guest on the latest episode!



Follow me

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/queerqueerword



Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠



Follow my guest

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/msradiosapphire/

San Francisco in the 80s.

If you know anything about queer history then you may already know that that wasn't the most joyous of times.

And, yet, despite that... despite all that was happening in the world - heightened homophobia, and the really real fear of contracting HIV - people got on with their lives and they found and made joy.

And that is exactly what happened for promoter and party producer Daniel Nardicio, who arrived there as a young man escaping small-town Ohio.

For him San Francisco represents a period of self-discovery and self-actualisation, and there are lots of joyous memories from that time when he was finding his feet and his voice.

We caught up to talk about his early days in the city, wiling away the hours at the lost space Cafe Flore with his best friend (who you may know as the cabaret superstar Justin Vivian Bond).

It was a place where they could nurse a coffee, read books, and occasionally snoop through other people's diaries (but you’ll have to listen to the episode to find out more about that).

Follow me

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠



Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠



Follow my guest

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_danielnardicio/

Website: ⁠https://www.danielsbigideas.com/

One of the constant gifts of doing this show is the reminder of how privileged those of us who get to grow old are. 

It’s easy to forget this in a world saturated with messages glorifying youth, but youth isn't always that great (sure, I still have crippling social anxiety, but I'm MUCH better at masking it now!). 

So, getting the chance to talk to people who say, "I'm so glad I'm not the person I was at 20, 30, 40," is refreshing. 

They still love the person they were, but they aren't in a hurry to go back to that time.

This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with the artist and photographer Holly Revell. 

Holly spent much of their 20s and 30s as a self-described "f*g hag", always ready to party surrounded by a gaggle of gays. 

But, now, looking back, they appreciate that part of their life but recognise they've outgrown the person they were.

We initially came together to talk about London's Black Cap, but our conversation went in many different directions. 

You know it just goes that way sometimes, right?

Follow me

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Follow my guest

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/hollyrevellphotography⁠

Website: https://www.hollyrevell.co.uk/

I don't know about you, but I really like the idea of being referred to as a gay elder at some point in the future.

The only part about it that worries me is that I hope I'm not expected to suddenly be wise or level-headed or clever or anything...

And though this week's guest, Eric Marcus from the Making Gay History podcast, might not like being referred to as a gay elder, he's certainly got the credentials to bear this title.

You probably already know about the Making Gay History podcast, but just in case you didn't it's an oral history podcast that explores different parts of queer history, like the AIDS crisis or growing up gay in the 70s.

In fact, the new season is celebrating the 55th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising, by exploring the myth of what that's become, and sharing stories from people who were actually there. 

But, anyway, before he was a podcast host and before he was a gay geezer he was a baby gay in New York City.

And it was here that he had an adventure or two on the dancefloors of the gay bars in Manhattan. One of which was the wonderfully named Ice Palace, which we discuss in this conversation.

Follow me

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠



Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠



Follow my guest

Making Gay History Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/makinggayhistorypodcast/

Making Gay History Website: https://makinggayhistory.org/



Some of the topics we cover:


Queer spaces and their impact on personal growth.
Sexuality, identity, and coming out in the 1970s and 1980s.
Sexual experiences and encounters in the 1970s.
Manhattan, and its many gay clubs.
Long-distance relationship experiences and crushes.
Self-esteem, attractiveness, and relationships.

I think what's so magical about a place like London is the promise of what the city represents rather than what it can actually meaningfully offer people...

And, that might sound like a strange distinction, but for me London was always the place that I was going to run away to in order to become the person that I was meant to be. And it was here that I was going to live out my dreams and have every success in the world.

And, in some ways it didn't matter that all of those things didn't happen to me, because the magic of the city still drew me to it.

For many it still holds this promise.

In fact, it was this way for this week's guest, the artist Recognition.

London gave him this vast city where he was anonymous and able to play around with his own concept of who he was.

He did that through dating apps (of course), but also through queer sports clubs, and the many bars and nightclubs in the city.

In our chat we talk about age-gap relationships, dark rooms, and taking your shirt off on the dancefloor of the lost space XXL...



Follow me

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠



Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠



Follow my guest

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/recognition.art/

Website: https://www.recognition-art.com/