Over It And On With It Christine Hassler

Steven Chandler is one of my coaching mentors. Being his client over 10 years ago dramatically improved my success. The  “MindShift” he offers frees people from unnecessary pessimism and puts them back in touch with the source of their enthusiasm for work and life.

 
Although Steve Chandler graduated from the University of Arizona with a degree in Creative Writing and Political Science, and spent four years in the military studying language and psychological warfare; he credits his own life experiences with failure as the most valuable tools for helping others. Steve’s audiences are inspired by stories of his “low points” – it gives them hope, because they realize that they are not nearly as bad off as he was – they figure if Steve can transform his life, so can they!

 
Steve Chandler is now the author of 30 books that have been translated into over 25 languages. His personal success coaching, public speaking and business consulting have been used by CEOs, top professionals, major universities, and over 30 Fortune 500 companies. He has twice won the national Audio of the Year award from King Features Syndicate. A popular guest on TV and radio talk shows, Steve Chandler has recently been called "the most powerful public speaker in America today."
   
Steve is also a master coach that has helped train hundreds of coaches to transform many lives and businesses. He created the Coaching Prosperity School to assist coaches to build a strong practice and create great clients www.CoachingProsperitySchool.com
 
You can learn more at https://www.stevechandler.com/index.html

This episode is about when we just can’t seem to get back to feeling ourselves. Today’s caller, Monica, has been injured by trauma over the last several years. She feels stuck and can’t seem to recharge. She asks for guidance on how to get over it and on with it.
 
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode393]
 
When we are not feeling like ourselves. It can be frightening. We need to remind ourselves that even though we don't feel like ourselves at the moment, we know who we are. When we have been through a lot of trauma, just because it’s over doesn’t mean it’s over.
 
Time does not heal all wounds when it comes to trauma. Our nervous system gets unregulated. We get depleted. Our brain gets all scrambled. We get put into survival mode, and it is hard to connect to creativity, to other people, and sometimes to spirituality. When we are completely depleted and in survival mode, there are things that happen in our brains that make it impossible to do it. But, at the same time, we have conditioning that tells us we should be able to get over things.
 
But, whether it is trauma or transition, there is an in-between state when we want to get back to how we used to be but oftentimes there is a newer version of ourselves post-trauma, post-transition, that we don’t know yet. That is a beautiful new version of ourselves. We need to give ourselves the grace, compassion, passion, support, and time to get there.
 
Christine is hosting her Signature Women’s Retreat on October 10‒13, 2023 in San Diego, CA. To take advantage of the early bird special and reserve your spot, go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat.
 
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you had a rough couple of years and even though the storms are over you still feel that you can’t get over it?
Are you in a place in life where you’re not really depressed but you’re just not yourself?
Have you been through a lot of trauma, or difficult times and you can’t seem to shake it? Have you ever considered that you may have PTSD? 
 
Monica's Question:
Monica has had a difficult few years. She feels she has nothing left to give and wants to get over it and on with it.
 
Monica’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Several people in her life took their own lives.
She was in a motorcycle accident.
She owns her own business.
She goes from crisis mode to crisis mode.
She has been in survival mode for a long time.
She judges herself for not being able to move on.
She may have PTSD.
She self-isolates at times and needs to recharge.
She doesn’t understand why she feels the way she does.
She feels stuck.
 
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Realize there is nothing wrong with her.
Look for a trauma-trained practitioner that can help with nervous system trauma, such as EMDR.
Do things that nourish her, like a massage, and replenish herself.
 
Takeaways:
If you are suffering from PTSD or PTSI, reach out for help. Recovery is not something you should do alone.
 
Sponsor:
Cured Nutrition — What a difference a good night’s sleep makes. And, CBN Nighttime Oil with sleep support properties makes a good night’s sleep possible. Other Cured products include RISE, and ZEN to balance out well-being. Go to CuredNutrition.com/OVERIT to get 20% off your entire order.
 
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Christine on Facebook
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristinHassler on Twitter
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
 

We cover a lot of ground about mental health, emotional processing and feeling comfortable with ALL our emotions.  Alex Wills, MD, is a board-certified psychiatrist. He is a graduate of the Sackler School of Medicine and completed his residency and fellowship training in Hawaii with additional training from Columbia University. He is the owner of Perma Mental Health, a private psychiatric practice with offices across Idaho. Alex’s clinical days are spent using the
 
Radical Emotional Acceptance method to help patients heal from issues ranging from past traumas to interpersonal struggles in their marriages. Give a F*ck, Actually is based on that experience. Learn more at www.RadicalEmotionalAcceptance.com
 
The breathing website mentioned is: https://xhalr.com/

This episode is about busting through limiting beliefs to get down to love and truth. Today’s caller, Andrew, finds himself at a challenging crossroads in his marriage. He would like to know how to be supportive of his wife after her recent cancer diagnosis without becoming a doormat.
 
There are many common, limiting beliefs when it comes to love and romance. One belief is the success of a relationship is based on the time it lasts. So, if there is a breakup or divorce, the relationship was considered a failure. Or, if you love someone, you must love them unconditionally and stay with them, for better or for worse, no matter what. Another limiting belief is, the purpose of a romantic relationship is to find THE one who completes you.
 
Diagnoses can be an opportunity for deep healing and transformation. Sometimes, what is for the highest good is not always the easiest or most obvious choice. It basically comes down to love and truth. People in a relationship can be growing at different speeds, but still along the same path.
 
Remember, spirituality is not tolerating people treating us the way they want to treat us. Love and truth go together. Self-honoring choices are often for the highest good of all, and that is the ultimate high road. We can love, encourage, support, and be an example for people, but we cannot save anyone else, that is up to them.
 
Would you like to raise your wealth consciousness? Another Group Coaching Call is coming. In it, we talk about money and prosperity. It is only $20 to join in on Tues. March 21st, 2023 at 7:30 pm CST. Don’t worry if you cannot make it live, it will be recorded. I will include a guided meditation and group coaching questions. Go to christinehassler.com/group to sign up.
 
Consider/Ask Yourself:
What soul lessons are you currently learning from your relationship or relationship status?
Are you making your relationship with yourself or your higher power a priority?
Are any of your relationships at a point where you are growing in a different direction from each other?
Do you wonder if being there for someone else in a supportive way is putting your own needs at risk?
What is the difference between having a spiritual orientation to your relationship, and doing a spiritual bypass and becoming a bit of a doormat?
 
Andrew's Question:
Andrew’s relationship is experiencing trials and tribulations. He would like to know how to spiritually cope with his wife’s recent thyroid cancer diagnosis.
 
Andrew's Key Insights and Ahas:
His wife’s hormones have been elevated due to a thyroid problem.
He feels spirituality calling him.
It’s not his responsibility to save his wife.
He has recently started a spiritual practice.
He doesn’t believe his wife is a willing participant in the relationship.
His current lesson may not yet be resolved.
It is now up to him to re-parent himself.
 
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Write his wife a letter to share what feels about her and how the diagnosis may be a wake-up call to stay committed to working on their relationship. Also, let her know he cannot do it alone.
Hug his wife every day.
Take 100% responsibility for his 50%.
 
Takeaways:
Look back at your romantic relationships to see what lessons you have learned. Write down how each partner has been a soul mate.
Nurture a relationship with a higher power.
Do something intentional and devotional every day for someone you care about.
If there is a difficult conversation you need to have, write a letter and either read the letter to the person or give it to them.
 
Sponsor:
Cured Nutrition — What a difference a good night’s sleep makes. And, CBN Nighttime Oil with sleep support properties makes a good night’s sleep possible. Other Cured products include RISE, and ZEN to balance out well-being. Go to CuredNutrition.com/OVERIT to get 20% off your entire order.
 
Resources:
Christine Hass

This is a very important conversation about how all of our devices both help and hinder our lives. Gloria Mark studies the impact of digital media on people's lives: their attention spans, multitasking, distraction, mood and behavior when they use their computers and smartphones. She also studies the future of work, and how remote work impacts how we use our devices. Dr Mark is Chancellor’s Professor ofInformatics at the University of California, Irvine and has been a visiting senior researcher at Microsoft Research since 2012.  She received her PhD from Columbia University in psychology. She regularly publishes in the top conferences and journals in her field. She was inducted into the ACM SIGCHI Academy in 2017 recognizing leaders in the field of human-computer interaction. She has presented her work at SXSW and the AspenIdeas Festival, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Wall StreetJournal, NPR, The Atlantic, the BBC, and many others.

This episode is about shifting your external world while making internal changes. Today’s caller, Jenn, has been through transformational changes and believes she is confused about her work as a relationship coach. Anyone who is on the growth path will relate to this call in some way.
 
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode391]
 
As we uncover and heal our issues, either in relationships or in the physical, we shift our vibration. Our energetic selves change, which creates a shift in what we’re attracted to and what we attract. Dis-ease and/or toxic relationships are heavy in energetic weight. As we heal, clear, and forgive, it shifts our vibration and creates changes in our outside world. Some changes happen naturally and some just give us an unsettling feeling about something not being right.
 
As we shift consciousness, our identity shifts and as it does it can feel confusing because our external life is not congruent with our internal life.
 
Just because you don’t have clarity about something or something doesn’t feel as fulfilling as it used to, doesn’t mean you are confused. You are in a time of change and transformation. For something to transform, it must go through a period of chaos and uncertainty. Don’t rush to figure it out — allow it to be revealed.
 
Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? Find out more about the Be the Queen program, which began on February 28, 2023. It includes an in-person one-day retreat in San Diego on October 12, 2023, and the self-paced evergreen course at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or email Jill@christinehassler.com.
 
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Is there some aspect of your life that doesn’t feel right, or just feels off?
Have you healed a relationship or physical issue that has catalyzed wanting to make changes in other aspects of your life?
Can you relate to being a chameleon to stay safe? Are you a people pleaser?
Are you scared of being vulnerable or being seen?
 
Jenn’s Question:
Jenn feels she has lost her inspiration and passion for her business. She wants to gain clarity about her coaching business.
 
Jenn’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She had a falling out with her mother.
She was physically ill.
She internalizes her mother’s issues.
She was a people pleaser and chameleon around her mother.
She has always been there for others.
Her relationship coaching feels shallow to her now.
She’s committed to getting out of her head.
 
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Bring more of her own voice into her business.
Don’t underestimate the value she brings to her clients.
Consider the way the people she appreciates share their stories.
Share more of her emotional depths.
 
Takeaways:
Get Expectation Hangover if you don’t have it already, and in the spiritual section do the lesson quest exercise under the role of the seeker.
Take an inventory of your external life. Does it match your internal life?
How can you be more vulnerable and honest? Think of the ways you are a people pleaser or play small. How can you step into a deeper level of authenticity?
Where are you telling yourself you are confused when you are not? Can you allow yourself to be in uncertainty?
 
Resources:
Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Inner Circle Membership Community
@ChristinHassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com
Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life, by Christine Hassler