128 episodes

Ever notice that everything you thought would make you happy ever after...didn’t?
 
Me too. Turns out Shaun Cassidy was NOT my soulmate, orgasms only last a few seconds, and happiness is an inside job.
 
As a psychologist, Buddhist teacher, sex therapist & author of Buddha’s Bedroom my mission is to kick you off the couch and into your unfolded life. But first, you gotta meet your elephant. So let’s go.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl Cheryl Fraser

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 93 Ratings

Ever notice that everything you thought would make you happy ever after...didn’t?
 
Me too. Turns out Shaun Cassidy was NOT my soulmate, orgasms only last a few seconds, and happiness is an inside job.
 
As a psychologist, Buddhist teacher, sex therapist & author of Buddha’s Bedroom my mission is to kick you off the couch and into your unfolded life. But first, you gotta meet your elephant. So let’s go.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Marriage 911: Roommates—No Passion

    Marriage 911: Roommates—No Passion

    This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! Sign up NOW for one of her Passion Masterclasses - choose the time that works best for you.

    You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd.

    Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you!

    Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 
    “The thrill is gone!”
    “I love my partner, but I'm not in love with them any more.” 
    “We’re no longer lovers—we’re merely roommates.” 

    If any of these relationship emergencies sound familiar, you’re in the right place.

    On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that your relationship isn’t over, even if it feels like all the spark has long fizzled out. The house, the kids, and the bills can all overwhelm your romance, but they don’t have to take priority over passion. 

    In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

    Falling out of love and into Marriage Incorporated is insidious (03:43)

    Make your love life your hobby (06:13)

    Great date nights don’t have to be fancy or expensive—but they are so important to schedule (08:28)

    Big change only happens when we take action (10:27)


    Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!

    Let’s Connect!  


    Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here 

    Youtube

    If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz


    Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram 

    • 12 min
    Marriage 911: After the Affair

    Marriage 911: After the Affair

    Register now for Dr. Cheryl’s FREE Relationship Reboot couples workshop on Zoom - Saturday April 13th 10-1 Pacific time HERE
    This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! If you want to be the first to know when registration opens make sure you get on the VIP waitlist HERE.
    You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd.
    Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you!
    Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 
    Dr. Cheryl, HELP! How can I ever get over the pain of my partner’s affair? 
    Believe it or not, it is possible to recover from a betrayal in your relationship. It may not be easy, but great relationships always revolve around intention.
    On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you everything you need to know about affairs—and what you and your partner can do in the aftermath to try and reestablish trust in your relationship. 
    In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

    There are sexual affairs and emotional affairs and they can be equally devastating (02:18)

    An emotional affair is when you're sharing intimate hopes and dreams with someone who's not your spouse and your spouse doesn’t know (03:29)

    All sympathy tends to go to the person who’s been cheated on, but we’re all just bozos on the bus who make mistakes (06:49)

    No one can earn our trust, they can only choose to act in a trustworthy manner (09:40)

     Very few things hurt as much as being betrayed, but there is hope (10:33)


    Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!
    Let’s Connect!  


    Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here 

    Youtube

    If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz


    Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 13 min
    Marriage 911: Verbal Abuse

    Marriage 911: Verbal Abuse

    This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! If you want to be the first to know when registration opens make sure you get on the VIP waitlist HERE.
    You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd.
    Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you!
    Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 
    So, you’ve just had a flooded argument… Even if you didn't resort to overt verbal abuse like yelling, swearing, or being especially cruel, you know that you said irrational things. But here’s the truth: It's not entirely your fault. When we’re dysregulated, we’re not rational. 
    On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse has the power to make us spiral—we go down the dark rabbit hole and end up rehashing every old wound, never seeming to get out of that same repeating argument. It isn’t always obvious but it does occur way too often—and it can absolutely destroy your relationship.
    In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

    Verbal abuse can be bickering, criticizing and nitpicking, and using controlling language (04:09)

    Giving your partner the silent treatment or a severe lack of communication can also feel abusive (04:37)

    Learning to self regulate our emotions is one of the most important things we can do for our relationships (06:58)

    Be kind to your friend… And if you snap, apologize! (07:38)


    Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!
    Let’s Connect!  


    Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here 

    Youtube

    If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz


    Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 10 min
    Marriage 911: Is Divorce the Answer?

    Marriage 911: Is Divorce the Answer?

    This month only! Dr. Cheryl is teaching some FREE relationship workshops! If you want to be the first to know when registration opens make sure you get on the VIP waitlist HERE.
    You’ll also hear about the 12 week Become Passion program—it kicks off May 3rd.
    Still not sure if Become Passion is right for you? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you!
    Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 
    Maybe you feel like it’s time for divorce, or you’ve fallen out of head-over-heels love, or maybe you’re even trying to recover from one of you stepping out on your relationship. Whatever it is,  every long term relationship runs into big obstacles… It’s who we are and what we do together to surmount those obstacles that really matters in the end. 
    On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about some of the biggest pain points a couple can have. That includes being on the edge of divorce, struggling with verbal abuse, attempting to recover from an affair, and that dreaded “I love you… but I'm not IN love with you, anymore” feeling.
    In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

    Feeling alone and lonely in a relationship is very common (04:44)

    Complacency can ruin a relationship (05:06)

    Sensuality and sexuality is a beautiful, powerful, important part of who we are as a couple (06:34)

    50% of second marriages fail because root problems aren’t being addressed (07:22)


    Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!
    Let’s Connect!  


    Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here 

    Youtube

    If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz


    Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 12 min
    Miserable? Time to Board a Different Train!: A Dharma Talk with Dr. Cheryl

    Miserable? Time to Board a Different Train!: A Dharma Talk with Dr. Cheryl

    “Dr. Cheryl, HELP! My life is absolutely miserable!”
    “Is micromanagement making me depressed?”
    “How can I stop myself from playing worst-case scenarios out in my mind?”
    Does it ever feel like your state of mind is completely out of your control? Like you're lost at Grand Central Station and you can’t find your way? Like you can’t read the signs and you’re wandering aimlessly, trying to board any old train you can find? Sometimes, as it turns out, you’ve unknowingly hopped aboard the Anger train, or the “I-Want-a-Divorce” train, or the “I-Don’t-Know-What-I'm-Going-to-Do-Next” train. 
    Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features part three of a talk I gave in December at a three day self compassion meditation and Buddhism retreat.
    Tune in and hear my teachings about how you are actually responsible for your mood and for your feelings. That means that if you're miserable, it’s time to get on a different train. 
    In This Episode, You Will Learn:

    It's exhausting to micromanage your life (06:22)

    Stop wanting things to be perfect all the time—it’s making you miserable (09:27)

    We don't know what’ll happen tomorrow… and whatever happens, we'll be okay (27:24)

    When you're reacting to other people's needs, you're never on balance (33:55)

    If you’re willing to experience loneliness, you can discover connection everywhere (40:50)

    Post physical reminders to show yourself compassion (46:43)


    Interested in finding out more about Dr. Cheryl’s Dharma teaching? Check out IslandDharma.com for more info. 
    Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.
    Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!
    Let’s Connect!  


    Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here 

    Youtube

    If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz


    Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 52 min
    You Don’t Have to Be Special to Be Loved: A Dharma Talk with Dr. Cheryl

    You Don’t Have to Be Special to Be Loved: A Dharma Talk with Dr. Cheryl

    “Dr. Cheryl, why am I always so harsh on myself?”
    “How can I learn to give myself grace?”
    “Why does it feel like I’m the only one given such a crappy lot?”
    Do you believe that you count, too? The more kindly and compassionately we treat ourselves, the more our hearts and our minds are freed up to be kinder and more compassionate to our partners. It allows us to build better relationships, be kinder to our work family, our home family, and be kinder to the world. 
    Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features part two of a talk I gave in December at a three day self compassion meditation and Buddhism retreat.
    Tune in and hear my teachings about what it is that moves us to care about ourselves, our relationships, our kindness, and our compassion… And I hope that will illuminate you to the idea that kindness begins at home.
    In This Episode, You Will Learn:

    You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your own love and affection (04:42)

    Compassion is not defined as “feel better” (09:37)

    Change because you care about yourself, not because you think you should (15:00)

    We forget that other people suffer too, which can make us feel very, very alone (18:29)

    In our culture, self esteem rests on a bit of a shaky foundation (29:52)

    The opposite of kindness is blame, criticism, lack of wisdom, self hatred, anger, guilt, shame… (41:21)


    Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.
    Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!
    Let’s Connect!  


    Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here 

    Youtube

    If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz


    Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 56 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
93 Ratings

93 Ratings

d schafer ,

Sex love and elephants

This is one of the best relationship podcast I have ever listened to. Thank you so much.

wgajr1 ,

Must listen podcast

Heard Dr. Fraser on another podcast and I’m so glad I did. So much great information presented is an accessible way. Definitely a must listen.

Pete & Lady ,

What a gift!

I found Dr. Cheryl on the Gottman Institute’s website, and how lucky am I to have found her!! Spot on with her advice and suggestions. So grateful you give us a podcast. Please keep it up!!

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