667 episodes

Conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive! We explore the wisdom and skills of the relationship world's most passionate and brilliant minds. Through in-depth conversations with authors, counselors, psychologists, professors, doctors and specialists, each episode explores topics every relationship faces and offers conversation starters or actions you can take to propel your life and marriage into deeper and more meaningful directions.

Find all our shows at https://smr.fm

Sexy Marriage Radio Dr Corey Allan

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

Conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive! We explore the wisdom and skills of the relationship world's most passionate and brilliant minds. Through in-depth conversations with authors, counselors, psychologists, professors, doctors and specialists, each episode explores topics every relationship faces and offers conversation starters or actions you can take to propel your life and marriage into deeper and more meaningful directions.

Find all our shows at https://smr.fm

    Initiating Intimacy | Rachel Facio and Stacey Sherrell #667

    Initiating Intimacy | Rachel Facio and Stacey Sherrell #667

    In this conversation, I'm joined by Stacey Sherrell and Rachel Faccio from Decoding Couples.



    We have a great conversation about the transition from normal married life to intimacy, the importance of creating margin, and the different desire levels in a relationship.



    We also explore the role of initiation and rejection in sexual activity, as well as the significance of character and emotional intimacy. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of communication, playfulness, and understanding each other's desires and boundaries.



    Learn more about Decoding Couples here - https://www.decodingcouples.com/



    Takeaways



    Transitioning to intimacy requires communication and understanding of each other's desires and boundaries.

    Creating margin between different roles and responsibilities is crucial for a healthy sex life.

    Initiation and rejection play a significant role in sexual activity, and it is important to navigate these dynamics with empathy and understanding.

    Building emotional intimacy and connection is essential for a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    In the XTD content, we discuss the importance of initiation and communication in relationships.



    We each explore how initiation plays out in our own marriages and the challenges we face. We also discuss the power of intimacy school and the importance of understanding the difference between sex and sex with a partner.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 38 min
    Normal Marital Sadism #666

    Normal Marital Sadism #666

    In this episode, in recognition of this being episode 666, we go a bit dark and discuss the concept of normal marital sadism (a term coined by Dr David Schnarch), which refers to the intentional infliction of pain, cruelty, and hurt within a marriage.



    We explore various examples of normal marital sadism, such as poking fun at and embarrassing a spouse, lying to inflict pain, restricting the autonomy of your spouse, and manipulating them to establish compliance or gain dominance.



    Our conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing our own capacity for cruelty and the need to address it in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage.



    Takeaways



    Normal marital sadism refers to the intentional infliction of pain, cruelty, and hurt within a marriage.





    Examples of normal marital sadism include humiliating and demeaning others, lying to inflict pain, restricting the autonomy of others, and manipulating others to establish compliance or gain dominance.





    It is important to recognize our own capacity for cruelty and address it in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage.





    Denying the existence of normal marital sadism can lead to its prevalence and negative consequences in a relationship.



    On the Xtended Version ...



    What do we do about normal marital sadism? How do I address it? Get rid of it? Or, at the very least limit it's presence in my marriage?



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 39 min
    Attachment Styles and Cycles | Dr Laurie Watson #665

    Attachment Styles and Cycles | Dr Laurie Watson #665

    In this conversation, Dr Laurie Watson joins me as we discuss the dynamics of relationships and how they can impact sexual intimacy. We explore the misconceptions and expectations that couples often bring into therapy, as well as the triggers and defensive mechanisms that can lead to negative cycles.



    We also discuss the importance of recognizing patterns and understanding attachment styles in order to create healthier relationships. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the need for communication, empathy, and a willingness to work through challenges in order to cultivate a satisfying and fulfilling sexual connection.



    Learn more about Laurie here - https://www.foreplayrst.com/



    Takeaways



    Misconceptions and expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration in relationships.

    Triggers and defensive mechanisms can create negative cycles in relationships.

    Understanding attachment styles can help couples navigate challenges and create healthier relationships.

    Communication, empathy, and a willingness to work through challenges are essential for cultivating a satisfying sexual connection.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    In this XTD conversation, we provide an example of a couple's interaction and explore the emotional and physical reactions that can arise. We emphasize the importance of creating space for communication and understanding each other's needs. By expressing vulnerability and making plans, couples can overcome the negative cycle and improve their sexual experiences.



    Enjoy the show!



    Sponsors ...



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    • 28 min
    Yes, But … #664

    Yes, But … #664

    This week we discuss the impact of trauma on reactions and responses in marriage.





    An email from a listener points out she felt that trauma was not adequately addressed last week.





    We explore more how both partners are responsible for their reactions and responses, and that there is no hierarchy of pain. We also discuss the importance of regaining a sense of safety in the relationship and the need for both partners to work on themselves. 







    Takeaways



    Both partners are responsible for their reactions and responses in marriage.

    There is no hierarchy of pain in life and relationship.

    Regaining a sense of safety in the relationship is important, but it is not solely the responsibility of a partner.

    Recognizing and changing patterns is essential for personal growth and a healthier marriage.



    On the Xtended Version ...



    We continue to explore the idea of sexual polarity and look at aspects of masculine and feminine energies.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 40 min
    More Destructive: His Porn Or Her Reaction? #663

    More Destructive: His Porn Or Her Reaction? #663

    Today let's explore the impact of reactions and perceptions in relationships, specifically in the context of discovering pornography usage.





    There are lots of complexities with the aspects of honesty, trustworthiness, fear, and shame. Like how others perceive us, the importance of acknowledging others, the reactions to the discovery of pornography usage, motivations for lying, managing fear and shame, breaking the cycle of fear and reaction, recognizing the scripts we carry forward, and seeking professional help or self-reflection. To name a few.





    Listen to hear us explore them all.







    Takeaways



    Reactions and perceptions play a significant role in relationships.

    Honesty and trustworthiness are crucial in addressing the discovery of pornography usage.

    Fear and shame can fuel destructive reactions.

    Breaking the cycle of fear and reaction requires self-reflection and seeking professional help.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    Sexual polarity plays a large role in the energy found between husband and wife - particularly the sexual energy.



    What is it? How do I enhance it? Listen to find out.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 35 min
    Get Past Your Past | Jason VanRuler #662

    Get Past Your Past | Jason VanRuler #662

    In this conversation, I'm joined by Jason Van Ruler as we discuss the importance of addressing past wounds and traumas in order to move forward in life and relationships.





    We talk about the concept of scripts and how our past experiences shape the narratives we tell ourselves. 





    Learn more about Jason here - https://www.jasonvr.com/







    Takeaways



    Addressing past wounds and traumas is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships.

    Scripts, formed by past experiences, shape the way we perceive ourselves and others.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    Jason and I dive into the work of Dr. Schnarch and his theory of traumatic mind mapping, which examines the deeper layers of trauma and the motivations behind it.



    The conversation emphasizes the need to confront the dark side of ourselves and rewrite our narratives to chart a new course.



    Enjoy the show!



    Sponsors ...



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    • 28 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
1.2K Ratings

1.2K Ratings

Kirsten Sal ,

Sex-vangelist

Hey Corey and Pam, just wanted to thank you so much for the show and the resources that you share here. I’ve been listening for several years and I have realized that I am so very passionate about this topic and it’s one of my favorite things to talk about now with other women within the faith. What’s funny is in the middle of talking about it I’ll feel like maybe they think I’m being inappropriate but then in private those women will reach out to me looking for more resources. So just know that this is a very needed topic. Keep doing what you’re doing, keep sharing resources. I fully believe that Christian sex should be the best, most fun, most fulfilling sex. We have some work to do and I’m happy to be a part of sharing the good news!

New Castle pastor ,

Top notch content

I have been listening to the show for 9 1/2 years I Love the content that Dr. Alan produces. I am so glad its back under the old mantra of “Sexy Marriage radio” if it did not have that name I probably would have never listened for the first time all those years ago when Shannon was still the co host. It has helped me tremendously through the years. My wife and I are coming up on 10 year wedding anniversary June 14th of this year and we know we would not have the marriage we do without the conversations Dr. Alan and Pam have “started for us” on the show! Love, Love, Love the work you guys do! It’s great to be part of the nation.

8252ipod ,

The first few years are worth a listen the interns into a cash grab

I have listened to all of these podcast going back to the first episode. My opinion, the quality goes down when Corey brought in his wife. When it was two educated professional host, there was a lot of value and meat in each episode. Understand, wanting to release the other hosts to keep all the income in one household however, it really lost its mojo. Definitely worth your time to listen to the first few years until that change.
They are laced with ads, promotions for their own products, and only limited content, wanting you to pay a subscription, which is extremely expensive. Unfortunately, like many things associated with Christianity it starts out with a good heart, and then leads itself to greed.

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