671 episodes

Conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive! We explore the wisdom and skills of the relationship world's most passionate and brilliant minds. Through in-depth conversations with authors, counselors, psychologists, professors, doctors and specialists, each episode explores topics every relationship faces and offers conversation starters or actions you can take to propel your life and marriage into deeper and more meaningful directions.

Find all our shows at https://smr.fm

Sexy Marriage Radio Dr Corey and Pam Allan

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

Conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive! We explore the wisdom and skills of the relationship world's most passionate and brilliant minds. Through in-depth conversations with authors, counselors, psychologists, professors, doctors and specialists, each episode explores topics every relationship faces and offers conversation starters or actions you can take to propel your life and marriage into deeper and more meaningful directions.

Find all our shows at https://smr.fm

    The Idea Of Sex | Dr Marty Klein #671

    The Idea Of Sex | Dr Marty Klein #671

    In this conversation, Dr. Marty Klein joins me and discusses the importance of reframing the conversation around sex and challenging our ideas about sexuality.



    We emphasize that sex is not just a behavior, but an idea, and that our ideas about sex shape our experiences. He highlights the need for individuals to have a sense of agency and the ability to shape their own sexual experiences.



    We also address common conceptions people have about sex, such as the belief that it should be a continuous, seamless connection, and the exceptionalism around sexuality. He encourages a more realistic and accepting view of sexuality, where not every sexual encounter needs to be transcendent or perfect.



    We also talk about how foreplay is about getting mentally and emotionally tuned into the sexual experience. It's important to leave behind the cares of the day and focus on the connection with your partner.



    Plus, as we age, our bodies change, and it's important to adapt and explore new ways of pleasure. 



    Learn more about Dr Klein here - https://www.martyklein.com/



    Takeaways



    Sex is not just a behavior, but an idea that shapes our experiences.

    It is important to challenge and examine our ideas about sexuality.

    Having a sense of agency and the ability to shape our own sexual experiences is crucial.

    Not every sexual encounter needs to be perfect or transcendent; a more realistic and accepting view of sexuality is needed. Foreplay is about mentally and emotionally preparing for sex.

    Planning and scheduling sex can be beneficial for busy adults.

    As we age, our bodies change, and it's important to adapt and explore new ways of pleasure.

    Knowing what you want in sex is just as important as knowing what you don't want.

    Sexuality is a local experience, not an express one.

    Communication, experimentation, and understanding your own desires are key in a satisfying sexual experience.





    Enjoy the show!



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    • 44 min
    Jealousy and Insecurity | Shanenn Bryant #670

    Jealousy and Insecurity | Shanenn Bryant #670

    This week let's talk about jealousy. Shanenn Bryant joins me for a conversation about overcoming jealousy in relationships.



    Shanenn shares her personal journey with jealousy and how she discovered that she was not alone in experiencing these feelings. She explains that jealousy is often rooted in past experiences and a lack of self-worth. 



    The conversation provides practical steps for moving forward and overcoming jealousy, including identifying and changing insecure habits. We also discuss the difference between fear and intuition.



    Learn more about Shanenn here https://www.topselfpodcast.com/









    Takeaways



    Jealousy is a common emotion that can be rooted in past experiences and a lack of self-worth.

    Overcoming jealousy requires self-awareness and a willingness to change insecure habits.

    Differentiating between fear and intuition is crucial in addressing jealousy.

    Open communication and trust are essential for building healthy relationships.



    On the Xtended Version ...



    In the XTD content, Pam and I discuss how the topic of jealousy and insecurity has played out in our life, as well as what can be done about it. 



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 38 min
    Want To Be Wanted But Don’t Want To Want #669

    Want To Be Wanted But Don’t Want To Want #669

    In this episode, we dive into how marriage is simple but difficult, and emphasize the importance of honest conversations.



    Then we move into the main focus of the episode -- an email from a husband who feels that his wife wants to be wanted but doesn't want to want.



    There are complexities of desire discrepancy and sexual frustration in every marriage. So waht do we do with them?



    We also touch on the vulnerability and shame associated with discussing sexuality and the deeper parts of our lives.



    Takeaways



    Marriage is simple but difficult, and it requires honest conversations and a willingness to face challenges.

    Desire discrepancy and sexual frustration can be common issues in marriage, and it's important to have open and honest communication about these topics.

    Vulnerability and shame can play a role in the dynamics of marriage, and it's important to create a safe space for discussing sensitive topics.

    Resilience and overcoming resentment in marriage require facing negative thoughts and feelings, addressing traumas, and implementing boundaries.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    There are 2 common attitudes people approach marriage and relationships with - an attitude of entitlement or an attitude of exposure.



    We explore them and how they play out in life today.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 28 min
    Procrastination and Resistance | Tripp Lanier #668

    Procrastination and Resistance | Tripp Lanier #668

    In this conversation, Tripp Lanier joins me as we discuss the importance of self-reflection, understanding self, and overcoming resistance.



    We explore the impact of scripts, narratives, and parts in our lives and the need to integrate different aspects of ourselves. Our conversation also dives into the balance between love and boundaries in relationships and the power of acceptance and forgiveness.



    We wrap up by discussing the importance of taking personal responsibility for our happiness and finding a balance between meeting external expectations and honoring our true selves.



    Learn more about Tripp here - https://www.tripplanier.com/







    Takeaways



    Self-reflection and understanding are key to personal growth and overcoming resistance.

    Integrating different aspects of ourselves leads to wholeness and a deeper sense of self.

    Balancing love and boundaries in relationships is essential for maintaining an open heart.

    Acceptance and forgiveness, both of self and others, are powerful tools for healing and growth.

    Taking personal responsibility for our happiness allows us to create fulfilling relationships and lives.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 44 min
    Initiating Intimacy | Rachel Facio and Stacey Sherrell #667

    Initiating Intimacy | Rachel Facio and Stacey Sherrell #667

    In this conversation, I'm joined by Stacey Sherrell and Rachel Faccio from Decoding Couples.



    We have a great conversation about the transition from normal married life to intimacy, the importance of creating margin, and the different desire levels in a relationship.



    We also explore the role of initiation and rejection in sexual activity, as well as the significance of character and emotional intimacy. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of communication, playfulness, and understanding each other's desires and boundaries.



    Learn more about Decoding Couples here - https://www.decodingcouples.com/



    Takeaways



    Transitioning to intimacy requires communication and understanding of each other's desires and boundaries.

    Creating margin between different roles and responsibilities is crucial for a healthy sex life.

    Initiation and rejection play a significant role in sexual activity, and it is important to navigate these dynamics with empathy and understanding.

    Building emotional intimacy and connection is essential for a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    In the XTD content, we discuss the importance of initiation and communication in relationships.



    We each explore how initiation plays out in our own marriages and the challenges we face. We also discuss the power of intimacy school and the importance of understanding the difference between sex and sex with a partner.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 38 min
    Normal Marital Sadism #666

    Normal Marital Sadism #666

    In this episode, in recognition of this being episode 666, we go a bit dark and discuss the concept of normal marital sadism (a term coined by Dr David Schnarch), which refers to the intentional infliction of pain, cruelty, and hurt within a marriage.



    We explore various examples of normal marital sadism, such as poking fun at and embarrassing a spouse, lying to inflict pain, restricting the autonomy of your spouse, and manipulating them to establish compliance or gain dominance.



    Our conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing our own capacity for cruelty and the need to address it in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage.



    Takeaways



    Normal marital sadism refers to the intentional infliction of pain, cruelty, and hurt within a marriage.





    Examples of normal marital sadism include humiliating and demeaning others, lying to inflict pain, restricting the autonomy of others, and manipulating others to establish compliance or gain dominance.





    It is important to recognize our own capacity for cruelty and address it in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage.





    Denying the existence of normal marital sadism can lead to its prevalence and negative consequences in a relationship.



    On the Xtended Version ...



    What do we do about normal marital sadism? How do I address it? Get rid of it? Or, at the very least limit it's presence in my marriage?



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 39 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
1.2K Ratings

1.2K Ratings

Kirsten Sal ,

Sex-vangelist

Hey Corey and Pam, just wanted to thank you so much for the show and the resources that you share here. I’ve been listening for several years and I have realized that I am so very passionate about this topic and it’s one of my favorite things to talk about now with other women within the faith. What’s funny is in the middle of talking about it I’ll feel like maybe they think I’m being inappropriate but then in private those women will reach out to me looking for more resources. So just know that this is a very needed topic. Keep doing what you’re doing, keep sharing resources. I fully believe that Christian sex should be the best, most fun, most fulfilling sex. We have some work to do and I’m happy to be a part of sharing the good news!

New Castle pastor ,

Top notch content

I have been listening to the show for 9 1/2 years I Love the content that Dr. Alan produces. I am so glad its back under the old mantra of “Sexy Marriage radio” if it did not have that name I probably would have never listened for the first time all those years ago when Shannon was still the co host. It has helped me tremendously through the years. My wife and I are coming up on 10 year wedding anniversary June 14th of this year and we know we would not have the marriage we do without the conversations Dr. Alan and Pam have “started for us” on the show! Love, Love, Love the work you guys do! It’s great to be part of the nation.

8252ipod ,

The first few years are worth a listen the interns into a cash grab

I have listened to all of these podcast going back to the first episode. My opinion, the quality goes down when Corey brought in his wife. When it was two educated professional host, there was a lot of value and meat in each episode. Understand, wanting to release the other hosts to keep all the income in one household however, it really lost its mojo. Definitely worth your time to listen to the first few years until that change.
They are laced with ads, promotions for their own products, and only limited content, wanting you to pay a subscription, which is extremely expensive. Unfortunately, like many things associated with Christianity it starts out with a good heart, and then leads itself to greed.

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