The Coach and The Therapist Vanessa & Jacob Christenson

In this episode, we explore the common challenge of feeling overwhelmed due to an abundance of tasks and obligations. We discuss the power of subtraction, emphasizing the removal of unnecessary commitments from one's schedule. Practical examples, such as unsubscribing from irrelevant emails, deleting unused apps, and decluttering unused belongings, highlight the effectiveness of this approach. The key lies in replacing subtracted tasks with activities that bring genuine value, such as learning new skills or spending time in nature.

[2:30] Individuals grappling with overwhelming responsibilities often unknowingly assume specific roles, evident in their precise language use and heightened anxiety with any deviation from self-imposed rules. In therapy, we label this as anxiety, delving into fears that reveal deeper concerns, like the belief that involvement in the Parent-Teacher organization is crucial for a child's success and the fear of failure and destitution.

[4:05] Intriguingly, individuals adhering to unspoken roles often remain oblivious to the negative scenarios they conjure. We encourage exploring layers beyond surface-level responses, uncovering hidden thought processes that contribute to the complexity of problem-solving in their minds. Understanding these layers provides clarity on why overwhelm persists.

[5:28] Uncovering the depth behind initial responses is crucial. A revealing experience involves exploring fears, where the fear of embarrassment may be rooted in a broader concern, such as the worry that others won't like them. Recognizing these underlying factors helps reshape behavior and disengage from unnecessary activities.

[6:51] Addressing concerns, I consistently guide individuals down two avenues: challenging the belief that situations are as bad as perceived and empowering them to handle challenges. This dual approach fosters resilience and adaptability, crucial elements in overcoming perceived difficulties.

[8:25] Overwhelm encompasses various emotions, and resisting them intensifies the feeling. Acceptance and acknowledgment empower individuals to handle emotions, while avoidance perpetuates a cycle of relentless thoughts contributing to overwhelm.

[10:22] While removing distractions is crucial, overwhelmed individuals often focus on their to-do list. The initial step is subtracting activities that don't significantly impact others, especially during alone time. Examining personal time usage, such as news consumption or social media scrolling, is essential.

[12:45] Cutting out processed sugars positively impacts emotional well-being. Breaking the cycle of relying on sugar for stress relief saves time and improves overall health, enhancing one's ability to appreciate the sweetness in healthier foods.

[16:23] Subtracting negative judgment, both towards oneself and others, is a valuable practice. Observing and assuming the best about others is a starting point, with the additional challenge of recognizing and releasing negative self-talk. This shift fosters a compassionate perspective, promoting emotional well-being.

[21:05] Our discussion on adding and subtracting revolves around identifying tasks that contribute to overwhelm and negative self-talk. We explore ways to cut down on unnecessary obligations and cultivate a compassionate inner dialogue. Differentiating between what truly adds value and what can be let go of is crucial in navigating overwhelming situations.

Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her ⁠website⁠.

Learn more about therapy at ⁠Covenant Family Solutions⁠.

Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Welcome to the Coach and the Therapist podcast, where we explore life's challenges through two distinct perspectives. Each week, we tackle issues like anxiety, depression, and weight loss, drawing on our diverse backgrounds and expertise.

[1:15] Overcoming the transition from inertia to action involves recognizing two common approaches: the all-or-nothing mentality and the gradual method. The all-or-nothing mindset often leads to challenges in sustaining change, while the gradual approach, despite taking longer, yields consistent positive outcomes. Both face initial hurdles, emphasizing the importance of a structured progression through recognition, uncertainty, decision-making, and adaptation for sustainable results.

[4:50] Identifying obstacles to starting and preventing relapse amid stress involves breaking tasks into simpler steps. For example, starting with just getting the lawnmower out can minimize overwhelm and provide a manageable starting point. Acknowledging the human tendency to avoid discomfort, coaching sessions focus on understanding internal dialogues, instilling confidence by breaking down processes, and emphasizing the challenge lies in the starting phase.

[12:00] Continuous research without action can be counterproductive. Clients often get overwhelmed by numerous approaches, creating dilemmas and internal conflicts that lead to avoidance. Encouraging small, manageable steps is crucial. Writing down tasks and identifying core results provide clarity and a starting point for progress.

[15:25] Breaking aspirations into manageable components begins with starting small. Shifting focus from all tasks to accomplishing a few initiates natural progression. Even small steps, like mowing one stripe, can create momentum and ignite the drive to finish the entire task, leveraging psychological principles.

[18:34] Handling skepticism about the impact of small tasks involves setting manageable blocks and recognizing existing efforts. Tailored approaches avoid sudden leaps, focusing on gradual adjustments aligned with current behaviors. Acknowledging past successes and encouraging immediate action are essential, with a focus on celebrating achievements and embracing imperfection.

[24:08] Identifying straightforward next steps involves leveraging past successes and taking immediate action. Encouraging individuals to consider what they can do today toward their goal, celebrating even small successes, aligns with the journey-focused approach. Recognizing achievements, no matter how small, contributes to sustained motivation.

Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her⁠ ⁠website⁠⁠. 

Learn more about therapy at⁠ ⁠Covenant Family Solutions⁠⁠. 

Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at ⁠thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com.

"They ought to treat me better", "my house must be clean before I have guests", "I should eat better". We all have "should statements" in our lives, but are they really healthy for us to be thinking? In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob tackle the thought process that goes on in our heads when we think we ought to do something or be something else. Listen in to learn the why, the what, and the how of changing your outlook on your responsibilities. 

Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website.
Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions.
Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Everyone has wrestled with a problem and everyone has struggled with an issue before, but what's the difference? In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob define and expand on what it means to tackle our problems. Listen in to learn a new way to look at your challenges and take them on at a new angle. 

Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website.
Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions.
Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Most of us have heard the term "burnout" before, but not all of us understand how it happens. In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob talk about burnout, how it happens, and how to avoid it. Listen in to learn all the big and small things you can change to keep yourself running at your best, all the time. 

Sign up for Vanessa's webinar here
Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website.
Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions.
Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Most of us have heard of FOMO, also known as the fear of missing out. In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob talk about how FOMO can be damaging to us or hold us back from success. Listen to learn how some of your "FOMO"s might not be serving you. One might say, "You won't want to MISS this episode!" 

Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website.
Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions.
Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com