The Emergent Experience Podcast Monique Scott, Satoya Foster

S3 E1 | Exploring Your Core BeliefsWelcome to Season 3 Episode 1 of the Emergent Experience PodcastSynopsis: How your core beliefs shape the way you live your life.In this episode we discuss:Why is it important to know what your core beliefs are?What are your beliefs about what is good? What isn’t?How do you formulate your values?family/ finances/ health/ etc.Are you aware of your core values?Religion informing core values?Have we evaluated our embedded beliefs about being created in God’s image? This directly informs what we believe about ourselves and others.In what ways are your core beliefs forming you?What do your actions indicate about you and your core values?How to change or reframe negative core beliefs?Use the power of narrative. Read other people’s stories and process and see if you can find similarities in their story.Pay attention to your family dynamics.Practice consistency.See a therapist.Prompting Questions: Value AssessmentWhat motivates you and why?What makes you happy? What brings you joy?What brings you peace?What are the beliefs you have about who you are?Are these beliefs true?Do you feel worthy?Do you believe that you are enough?Are you able to make a separation between who you are and what you do?What is your belief or understanding about pain/emotional/physical discomfort/ undesirable circumstances?Do you trust yourself?Resources:Developing Balanced Core Beliefs:https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer%20Modules/Improving%20Self-Esteem/Improving%20Self-Esteem%20-%2008%20-%20Developing%20Balanced%20Core%20Beliefs.pdfEight Things That Happen When You Really Get to Know Yourself:https://joinblush.com/eight-things-that-happen-when-you-really-get-to-know-yourself/ Connect with us:Facebook :@theemergentexperienceTwitter: @theemergentexperienceInstagram: @theemergentexperienceEmail: hello@theemergentexperience.comMonique: www.moniquelscott.comSatoya: www.satoyafoster.comQuote:People travel to wonder at the heights of mountains, at huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.
-Saint Augustine

S3 E2 | Negative ThinkingWelcome to Season 3 Episode 2 of the Emergent Experience PodcastSynopsis: In this episode we discuss:What is negative thinking?Negative thinking is the inability to see positive results or positive spin on thoughts, events, anything in that matter. The individual will view the most negative or worse outcome in any situationHow does negative thinking differ from being realistic?Being realistic allows a person to analyze all possible outcomes and see the most likelihood of an option whereas a negative thinker will only see the most negative grotesque outcome.Don’t confuse constructive criticism with negativity.How to deal with the Debbie Downers in your lifeWhat to do if you are the Debbie Downer?Seek therapy.Practicing gratitude.Psychology Today:1. Negative RuminationRumination is a kind of negative thinking in which we get mentally stuck and keep spinning our wheels without making progress. Rumination can make you more and more anxious as you keep thinking of more and more negative outcomes that could possibly happen. If you feel lonely, you may think about being lonely forever, never meeting the right partner, never having kids, losing all your friends, and ending up alone in a ditch. Ruminating can also make you feel depressed. You may focus on how bad you feel, why you feel so bad, what you did wrong to get in this situation………… What to Do Instead: Pay attention to when your thinking starts to get repetitive or negative. When you notice rumination, make yourself break the cycle. Get up and do something else:Go for a walk or reach out to a friend (but don’t continue the rumination out loud by whining to them). Try to change your thinking to a problem-solving focus that is more deliberate and strategic. 2. OverthinkingOverthinking is when you go over and over different choices in your mind, trying to imagine every possible outcome and everything that could happen in the future, to make sure you make the perfect choice. Your focus is on avoiding mistakes and risk. The problem with overthinking is that it’s an attempt to control what isn’t controllable. What to Do Instead: Limit the time you spend thinking about a decision before acting. Give yourself a deadline to decide, even if it feels uncomfortable. Only allow yourself to research a few alternative options — not every one. Don’t be so hard on yourself: You are only human, and it’s not the end of the world if you make a mistake. You can learn from it. Overthinking results from anxiety, so practice stress-management techniques like yoga, running, nature walking, or meditating. 3. Cynical HostilityCynical hostility is a way of thinking and reacting that is characterized by angry mistrust of other people. You see other people as threats. They may cheat you, take advantage, let you down, deceive you, or otherwise cause you harm. Cynical hostility involves interpreting other people’s behavior in the worst ways.What to Do Instead: Try to get some distance from your judging thoughts. Notice when you begin to think distrustfully, and deliberately think of alternative ways of seeing the situation. What are some more benevolent or less toxic motives for people’s behavior? Learn to reserve judgment and look for the evidence before labeling people. Notice how your own behavior may be pushing people away or prompting them to react negatively to you. Related links:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201708/3-negative-thinking-patterns-avoid-what-do-insteadAdditional Resources:Negative Thinking: How to Transform Negative Thoughts and Self Talk into Positive Thinking:https://www.amazon.com/Negative-Thinking-Transform-Thoughts-Positive/dp/1492782637Connect with us:Facebook :@theemergentexperienceTwitter: @theemergentexperienceInstagram: @theemergentexperienceemail: hello@theemergentexperience.comMonique: www.moniquelscott.comSatoya: www.satoyafoster.comwww.practicingredemption.comQuote:“Some people grum

Topic: Admitting when you're wrong, why is it so hard?

Synopsis: Do you ever get that uncomfortable feeling in your chest, your throat or shoulders, when you've made a huge mistake and automatically become defensive? Are you able to admit when you're wrong?

Welcome to the 4th episode of this season!

In this episode we discuss:
How and when we were introduced to the act of wrongness
The importance of being wrong and failing, and the ability to learn
What does it mean to be wrong? What does it say about you?
Practicing the admission of being wrong
Books and resources can be utilized as help

Cognitive Dissonance -the stress we experience when we hold two contradictory thoughts, beliefs, opinions or attitudes. That uncomfortable feeling when all that you believed about yourself, you are nice, you are smart, you are fair, comes in question by an act YOU made.

There is a rigid way of thinking that can cause many of us to stunt our evolution/growth. There is also a huge factor that we can pass down these same behaviors to your children, and it can affect our relationships in general.

We tend to justify by looking for fault in others, to avoid admitting to something we did that may be off setting. Unfortunately this also will backfire with your relationships. Think about it, if someone is constantly NOT validating that they hurt you, or they made a mistake that affected you, at some point resentment builds, communication halts, and you just start to have a strong distake for that person. Is it work that?

Power and Control. A European study, found that people who refused to apologize had more self esteem and control than those who did. These relates to power and control. If I admit my wrong doing to the other person they now are at my emotional mercy do they forgive and spare my shame, or do they hold on and make me suffer in my shame. This is pretty deep! That means we become vulnerable for a period in time.

How do you change your behavior to learn from your mistakes?
Start questioning the reason for your discomfort during a time you make a mistake
Find safe people you can talk to about it, people who you know will not judge you, so you can practice this and get good feedback
Get familiar with your defence mechanisms, you know the ones you use to justify or reframe everything? Yea so learn and recognize that pattern so when you hear yourself doing it again, STOP
People are more forgiving than your think, also show strength in your imperfectness and are willing to change and accept faults!
Lastly, find a therapist who you can work on this, there may be something very deep rooted that you need to process and release.

Related links:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/22/smarter-living/why-its-so-hard-to-admit-youre-wrong.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201012/how-admit-youre-wrong

Connect with us:
Facebook :@theemergentexperience
Twitter: @theemergentexperience
Instagram: @theemergentexperience
Join the private FB Group

email: hello@theemergentexperience.com
Monique: www.moniquelscott.com
Satoya: www.satoyafoster.com

QUOTE:
It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character.

-Dale Turner

Topic: Black History

Synopsis: Black History Month is Every February and we share our thoughts and some of your listeners' thoughts about how it’s celebrated.

Questions: Black history month is coming to an end. Are you satisfied with how it was celebrated at work, home, school, or in your community? Black Black

Welcome to the Black History Episode for 2020

In this episode we discuss:

Our experience with black history
Should we have black history month? Some people think we shouldn’t
What our listeners thought
History of Black History

Harvard Trained Black historian Carter G Woodson announced that there will Negro History week this idea was birth in 1925 with his organization Association for the Study of Negro Life and History

He wanted to raise awareness on African American contributions to civilization
In 1976 it was acknowledged for an entire month

Kaye (anonymous)- shared that her daughter's school did a good job. They learned and sang songs related to black history and she dressed up as Sarah Mapps Douglass. Researched, presented, dressed as Sarah Douglas. Felt it was done tastefully

Tanysha_bellcurve (instagram) I am dissatisfied with how it’s celebrated at my job ... the only acknowledgement of anything black MLK and it's nothing how they do it... just a memo

as far as in my home
... well my mother is West Indian and always reminds me to "know who you are" " be true to yourself " ... so no it's not celebrated.
For the most part I celebrate by just reading articles or Something that pops up on my feed.

My community my African American friends celebrate, which I enjoy. Which is going to an all black poetry type of thing, welcomed by all, a black/sorority function, step dancing ... etc. you name it I am there.



Related links:

https://africanamericanhistorymonth.gov/about/

Connect with us:
Facebook :@theemergentexperience
Twitter: @theemergentexperience
Instagram: @theemergentexperience
Join the private FB Group

email: hello@theemergentexperience.com
Monique: www.moniquelscott.com
Satoya: www.satoyafoster.com
Music Credit: Circle Session (@thecirclesession)
QUOTE:

51st NAACP Image awards

"How many of us in this room have colleagues and partners and friends from other races, sexes, religions?, Well then, they want to break bread with you, right? They like you? Well then, this is their problem too. So when we're marching and protesting and posting about the Michael Brown Jr.s and the Atatiana Jeffersons of the world, tell your friends to pull up." -Rihanna
Emmys 2017
“I’m rooting for everybody black!” -Issa Rae

S3 E4 | Ask a therapist: What is therapy?

Welcome to Season 3 Episode 4 of the Emergent Experience Podcast
Synopsis: We always talk about seeking mental health professionals and not being shy about therapy to get the help you need. So today, we are talking Mental Health 101 with our guest, Dr. Audrey Brutus. Dr. Brutus was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY by parents who immigrated to the US from Haiti. She completed her MSeD and PsyD with a bilingual extension in Haitian-Creole. Currently, she is working as a regional Bilingual Special Education Specialist. She has a private practice and is a professor at Pace University. You can learn more about Dr. Brutus in the show notes and on our website at theemergentexperience.com, where you’ll find her info in the Psychology Today Directory.

In this episode we discuss the following questions:
What is therapy?
How many different kinds of therapies are available?
How does therapy promote healing?
How can therapy be used to help you reach your goals?
*What are the different mental health professionals available? What is the differences and the necessity for a psychiatrist vs a psychologist etc.
How does one choose a therapist and is there such a things as the “right therapist?
Is there any preparation necessary for a therapy session?
What does a typical therapy session look like?
How should a client participate in the therapeutic process?
How does a person know that therapy is working?
How long can one expect to be in therapy?

Dr. Audrey Brutus will provide great information and resources about the therapeutic experience, education, and beyond.

“Psychotherapy -- also called talk therapy, therapy, or counseling -- is a process focused on helping you heal and learn more constructive ways to deal with the problems or issues within your life. It can also be a supportive process when going through a difficult period or under increased stress, such as starting a new career or going through a divorce.
Generally psychotherapy is recommended whenever a person is grappling with a life, relationship or work issue or a specific mental health concern, and these issues are causing the individual a great deal of pain or upset for longer than a few days. There are exceptions to this general rule, but for the most part, there is no harm in going into therapy even if you're not entirely certain you would benefit from it”.-PsychCentral.com
About Dr. Brutus:
I was born and raised in Brooklyn by parents who immigrated to the United States from Haiti. I majored in psychology at Pace University and graduated cum laude with my Bachelor’s in Psychology. I remained at Pace where I earned admission into the School-Clinical Psychology PsyD program. During my five graduate school years, I completed my MSeD and PsyD with a bilingual extension in Haitian-Creole, focusing my doctoral project on researching the underutilization of mental health services among Haitian people.

In graduate school, I completed school and clinical internships. I also completed the Psychologist in Training program with the NYC Board of Education, which led to my first bilingual school psychologist position in Brooklyn, where I worked for 3 years before taking a bilingual school psychologist position in the behavior management program in Rockland county, where I worked for 7 years. During that time, I also opened my private practice and began teaching undergraduate psychology courses at Pace.

Recently, I have begun working as a regional Bilingual Special Education Specialist. I continue to have my private practice and is a professor at Pace University. In my private practice, I predominantly provide individual therapy to adults and special education testing for children, including bilingual Haitian-Creole evaluations.
Psychology Today Directory Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/audrey-brutus-nanuet-ny/139601.

Related links:
https://psychcentral.com/psychotherapy/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Addition

Our lives seem to be about everyone and everything else but where do our goals and dreams fit into this equation? We are Daughters, Wives, Mothers, Sisters, Friends, Business Owners, Employees, and Students. We want balance, financial stability, and fulfillment. Is it possible for us to have it all?