The Good Mood Show with Matt O'Neill The Good Mood Show

How do you choose happiness even in the most frustrating moments? 

In this episode, happiness expert Joe Kavanagh describes an exercise you can use in any challenging situation to brighten your mood. Throughout the conversation Joe and Matt dive into topics such as the ego's need to be right, the concept of shifting perspectives, embracing a positive mindset, and choosing happiness. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 


The ego’s need to be right


Embracing a positive mindset


The concept of shifting perspectives


Choosing peace over ego


Why listening is the key to happiness



[04:54] The Ego's Need to Be Right

The ego tends to assert the notion of being right and others being wrong. This urge to validate one's beliefs stems from a desire to prove oneself superior. The fear of losing value or worthiness compels individuals to cling to this idea. In childhood, mistakes were acceptable, and there was no concept of right or wrong. However, as we grow older, societal expectations begin to influence us, making us feel inadequate and unworthy. We start to believe that our worth is tied to being right, and we must continually prove ourselves to be valuable. 

[16:23] The Concept of Shifting Perspectives

Material possessions, societal pressure to conform, and attachment to money can create an illusion of happiness, which is a con game. The discussion emphasizes that true happiness comes from being in the present moment and choosing to be happy. The conversation also touches upon how a calamitous event that may seem like a significant loss to the ego could be a massive gain for the soul with a shift in perspective. The speaker shares their personal experience of a big calamity in Q4 of last year and how it led to massive awakenings when they shifted their perspective.

[23:05] Choosing Peace Over Ego

In moments when someone cuts you off in traffic, you face a decision. You have a moment between the urge to respond impulsively and the opportunity to choose a peaceful response. The ego may want to assert itself and prove something, but it's up to you to make a conscious choice.

[25:43] Why Listening is the Key to Happiness

The secret to happiness lies in listening. We all have an innate desire to be heard, seen and understood. When we truly listen to others, they feel validated and uplifted. The key is not just to focus on our own happiness, but also to make those around us feel better. As the saying goes, "a rising sea raises all ships". By elevating others, we elevate ourselves. So let's strive to bring everyone up a little bit and create a rising tide of positivity and happiness.

Notable quotes:

[11:37] We started out with nothing. This could be a failure, we end up with nothing. But if you don't try, it's not going to happen. [11:44]

[14:44] Be in the present. And that's where I was going wrong. I was always living for the future, thinking things would get better. [14:53]

[26:05] It starts by making others feel better, because when they feel better, you feel better. [26:10]

Resources Mentioned: 

Kavanagh Appraisal Company

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About the Guest 

Joe Kavanagh is the owner of Kavanagh Appraisal Company. Having been in the real estate space for 35 years, Joe takes all of his life and business experiences as he fulfills his purpose as a business coach, a mentor, and a trainer. He spent all this time learning how to be successful, and now, he is pouring it into the next group of people that are coming up.

This very important episode teaches you how to get out of despair and find joy again. This is a blueprint for getting out of the darkness and back into the light.  

Hopelessness is a heavy emotion that can lead to self-destructive behaviors. It is crucial to learn how to overcome this mood, not only for yourself, but also to be able to help loved ones who may be struggling. 

In this episode, Matt teaches the lessons from his own battle with hopelessness and the exact method to get out of it. Learn how to conquer hopelessness and embrace the positivity within.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 


How to get out of hopelessness


The power of asking for help


You have more control than you’re admitting


Living in a higher state is a choice


Start focusing on love



[01:51] How to Get Out of Helplessness: 

Allowing oneself to succumb to hopelessness can lead to destructive behavior such as excessive drinking and drug use, which can be seen as a subconscious desire to end one's life. As someone who has battled both, I have experienced firsthand the danger of turning to drugs and alcohol during moments of hopelessness. Rather than exacerbating an already difficult situation, it is essential to learn healthy ways to cope with and overcome these emotions.

[09:31] The Power of Asking for Help

It's crucial to seize the helping hand that reaches out to us, even if it means answering a phone call. That hand could be our lifeline. When feeling lost and hopeless, we may find ourselves pushing away those who are trying to help because it's not in the way we expected. We may wait for a specific person to provide the help we seek, but sometimes someone entirely different extends us precisely what we've been praying for, albeit in an unexpected manner.

[22:10] You Have More Control Than You Realize

You have far more control than you may be admitting to yourself. Maybe you feel like you've tried everything in your power and given it your all, yet you still come up short. It's important to remember that this feeling is not necessarily true. It's impossible to test every option and do everything, given the vast array of choices available in the world. You always have options and choices at your disposal, even if you haven't taken advantage of them yet.

 

Notable quotes:

[01:51] If you don't learn how to get out of hopelessness, it can destroy you.  [01:56]

[09:31] “We have to grab the hand that's reaching out to help us. Maybe we need to pick up the phone. And that's our rope." [09:37]

[22:31] There's so much choice in this world, that you've never done at all. You've never tried it all. You're never without options or choices. [22:38] 

Resources Mentioned: 

Download this week’s free resource instantly when you sign up for The Good Mood Show newsletter here! 

Or, reach out on our contact page at GoodMoodShow.com/Contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

We all have recurring thoughts. Which thoughts are currently tattooed on your mind?

Doug Dickerson shares how to tattoo your mind with positivity. Learn valuable takeaways such as guarding self-talk, making 1% daily improvements, believing in yourself, cultivating a growth mindset, and minding the influences you allow in your life.

Get ready to tattoo your mind in a good way. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 


Guard your self-talk


Make 1% improvement every day 


The importance of believing in yourself


The power of ‘not yet’ 


Cultivating a growth mindset


Minding the influences you allow in your life



[04:12] The Power of Positive Self-Talk

Often, we unconsciously adopt beliefs and belief systems imposed on us by others. These beliefs stem from our personal stories, upbringing, and societal conditioning, and they can shape our thoughts and define our lives. Our thought patterns have a profound impact on our well-being and success. We must remain vigilant of our self-talk and the conversations we have with ourselves, as they shape our outlook on life. 

Negative thoughts can easily creep into our minds, but we have the power to control them. We need to cultivate positive self-talk, even when there isn't someone else to lift us up. We can choose to encourage ourselves with uplifting thoughts, empowering beliefs, and positive affirmations that propel us toward our goals. Regardless of the labels that society or others may place upon us, we have the power to define and shape our own lives through our self-talk.

[10:39]  1% Daily Improvement

Consistently making a 1% improvement every day has the potential to bring about life-changing results. This concept is highlighted in James Clear's book Atomic Habits, which emphasizes the significance of small, incremental progress. By changing one's mindset and committing to adding value to oneself and others through 1% improvement daily, we can greatly impact our lives and those around us over time. Additionally, an article was recently discovered, further exploring this topic.

[22:05] The Power of Not Yet

The idea of "not yet" is to shift the way we think about things we don't understand or haven't mastered yet. Rather than saying, "I just don't get it," we say, "I don't understand it yet." It's a small change, but it can make a huge difference. By acknowledging that we haven't grasped something yet, but we will eventually, we approach learning with a growth mindset. It's all about being positive and believing in our ability to learn. Even if we don't understand something today, we remind ourselves that we haven't learned it yet, but we will. It's a powerful way to keep ourselves motivated and driven to succeed.

Notable quotes:

[36:25] "You have to do what you have to do to preserve and protect that wellspring of life that's within you and preserve it for your family as well." [36:35]

[04:48] "The thoughts that we entertain have a way of defining us." [04:55] 

[06:13] "We can tattoo our mind with positive thoughts” [06:25] 

Resources Mentioned: 

https://www.dougdickerson.net

Leadership Lessons for Mr. Bates

Atomic Habits by James Clear

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Or, reach out on our contact page at GoodMoodShow.com/Contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest 

Doug Dickerson is the author of leadership books including Leaders Without Borders and It Only Takes a Minute. Doug Dickerson has been speaking to audiences in the U.S. and overseas for more than 30 years. Doug is a certified John Maxwell leadership, speaker, trainer, and coach. He loves leadership and leaning into organizations to help them grow in their leadership.

If you’ve ever struggled to maintain boundaries in your personal and professional life, you’re not alone. Dr. Miriam Zylberglait, renowned expert on the topic of boundaries and self care urges you to understand that boundaries are not for others, but rather for your own protection. 

In this episode, she shares insights from her book, The 3G Cycle of Life, and offers practical tips for setting boundaries. Miriam also provides an exercise to help identify if your personal and professional lives are in alignment. 

By prioritizing your self-care and learning to say no, you can transform your life and achieve greater satisfaction and fulfillment.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 


The importance of boundaries


Putting yourself first so you can help other people


Why you need to set boundaries


Learning to say no


Focusing on values and purpose


The power of saying yes



[08:19] Putting Yourself First to Help Others

It's true, self-care and setting boundaries are essential for serving others. Have you ever taken a moment to really look at yourself in the mirror and feel completely content with what you're doing? It's a beautiful feeling, but it can be challenging to maintain. Sometimes, it's easy to lose sight of yourself and start blending into life, taking on the colors of those around you like a chameleon. But, amidst all of this, it's crucial to still have boundaries. You need to define what is and isn't acceptable for your own well-being, to ensure that you aren't compromising yourself for the sake of others. Remember, prioritizing your own care is not selfish, but rather, it's a way to serve others from a place of strength and stability.

[14:37] Setting Boundaries

It's important to understand that boundaries are not for others but for your own protection. Don't think that they are related to satisfying or helping others, but instead, consider them as a way to take care of yourself. You need to make it clear to yourself that this is your way of protecting yourself and keep this mindset embedded in your brain and heart. This is indeed the first step towards self-care and transformation. Learn to be okay with saying no. Some people's feelings could get hurt, especially when you've always said yes. When you say yes to something, then you say no to everything else.

[22:55] Focusing on Your Values and Purpose

If you want to align your actions with your purpose and values, it may require some sacrifices in your schedule. You might have to think about what you need to cut out in the coming week and make some adjustments accordingly. Perhaps you can reduce the time spent on watching TV or doing something less important. But there may be something special or significant that you cannot miss, and should prioritize. Use that as your barometer to gauge the importance of various commitments and make decisions accordingly. 

 

Notable quotes:

[11:37] Think about the last time that you recognized yourself in front of the mirror, and you are doing what you want. [11:43]

[14:09] When we fail to set boundaries, we just live for others, and not for ourselves. [14:21] 

[14:37] You need to understand that boundaries are not for others….The only reason why you set the boundaries is to protect yourself. [14:52]

Resources Mentioned: 

The 3G Cycle of Life

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Or, reach out on our contact page at GoodMoodShow.com/Contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest 

Dr. Miriam Zylberglait is a triple Board Certified Physician in Internal Medicine, Geriatrics, and Obesity Medicine with extensive clinical and academic experience. Dr. Z is interested in the areas of well-being, burnout, mental health, and leadership development.

Leadership potential exists within all of us, waiting to be unlocked. It starts with leading today well. Identify the role you must master today and the mindset and actions towards fulfilling that role. This can help you show up powerfully and fulfill your sense of duty for the day.

Listen in as Matt engages in a conversation with Vin Infante, a specialist in achieving positive moods with a mission to impact one billion lives. Vin also unveils the "five aspects to self-mastery" exercise.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 


How to get out of the victim mindset


Identifying your relevant role for the day


How pain becomes your potential


Happiness as a choice


The five aspects of self-mastery



[03:40] How to Get Out of The Victim Mindset

Getting out of the victim mindset requires a level of self-awareness and accountability. Admitting that we have control over our lives and the ability to make positive changes is essential in overcoming victimhood. The “victim” state says that life is happening to me, not for me. But if you want life to happen for you, then you need to take ownership and responsibility over all things in life. We must acknowledge our role in the situations we find ourselves in and take responsibility for our actions and reactions. This includes being honest about our challenges and seeking help when necessary. With a positive mindset, a willingness to take action, and a commitment to personal growth, we can overcome the victim mindset and start living a more fulfilling life.

[14:21] Identifying Your Relevant Role for the Day

To maximize your potential for success, it's important to identify what role is most relevant to your day. By recognizing your obligations, such as a business meeting or being present as a parent, you can better tailor your mindset and actions towards fulfilling that role. This can help you show up powerfully in the chosen role and commit to fulfilling your sense of duty for the day. Whether you want to spend time with your family, partner, or parents, identifying your intended role for the day sets you up for how you should show up and fulfill that role. By spending time developing it, you'll better understand what makes a role powerful and strong, increasing your chances of success on any given day.

[31:25] The Five Aspects of Self-Mastery

To have control over your life, focus on the five aspects of self-mastery that you can control, including thoughts, feelings/emotions, behaviors, actions, and language. As you start with one of these aspects and gain control over it, it will lead to more control over the others. This increases your influence over your life and potentially others. Although there are many things outside of these five aspects that you cannot control, the good news is that nobody else has autonomy over them either. By having control over the five aspects of self-mastery, you have full autonomy over them, giving you 100% control in this area.

Notable quotes:

[15:08] Identifying what you're supposed to do with your day will set you up for how you should show up. [15:13]

[32:53] The only five things you can control are your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviors, your actions, and your language. [33:09]

[33:29] There's a lot more things you can't control than what you can. However, the benefit, even though it's only five things... nobody has the autonomy over this. [33:41] 

Resources Mentioned: 

www.vincentinfante.life 

Download this week’s free resource instantly when you sign up for The Good Mood Show newsletter here! 

Or, reach out on our contact page at GoodMoodShow.com/Contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest 

Vin Infante is a Master Mindset Coach & Psychotherapist with a passion for cultivating lasting change and maximizing results. A former New York firefighter, Vin now has over 13 years of experience in coaching people as a psychotherapist on their min

Lisa Burbage had a highly successful career until the stress and anxiety caught up with her and she got really, really sick. She believes God blessed her with cancer because it was what she needed to slow down and re-evaluate her lifestyle. She then founded Wellness Five, a boutique training and consulting firm that teaches all of us all how to live healthier, happier lives. 

Listen in as Lisa and Matt talk about needing to be perfect, and how that unrealistic expectation can be implanted in us by a parental figure at a young age. Lisa describes how the need to be perfect also created eating disorders in her teen and college years and then, how she was finally able to break free.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 


Lisa’s experience dealing with eating disorders


The creation of Wellness Five


The need for social connection


The “upward spiral”


Breaking down your goals into bite-sized pieces



[04:32] A Holistic Approach to Health

All of these chronic diseases, cancer, Type II diabetes, heart disease, autoimmune, and the list goes on – all of them are preventable. A new research shows that only five to 10% is genetic. The rest is our lifestyle. 

In creating Wellness Five, Lisa didn't want to focus just on the physical side of health because there are a lot of other factors that contribute to a person’s health, not just exercise and nutrition. There is a need to be healthy emotionally and mentally healthy as well. 

Prior to the pandemic, most wellness programs were focused on Fitbit challenges and healthy snacks in the break room. But then the pandemic hit and everyone was isolated. We became lonely, and we realized the need for social connection.

[33:38] Try This Goal-Setting Exercise!

Set your goal, then forget about it. Then think about what you need to do every day to move forward – not to reach the goal, just to move forward. Have something that you're reaching for but then forget about it, and just focus on what you're doing today. And if you fall off the next day, fine. Just get back on as soon as you can.

A lot of people set goals and end up giving up because they set insurmountable goals. The trick is to break your goal down into bite-sized pieces. For instance, if you’re looking to lose weight and the goal is to lose 30 pounds, just think about what you can do today, and only focus on that day. Writing down what you need to do for one day is also very helpful because it prevents decision fatigue.

Notable quotes:



[18:32] We all have an inner voice, a guardian angel… that’s telling us to pay attention. [18:41]

[21:50] How you feel, emotionally, mentally and physically... they're also intertwined. You can't really separate one from the other. That's the key. [22:00]

[22:06] If you eat better, you do feel better. But if you still have low self-esteem, is eating better going to change that? [22:15]

[33:43] Set your goal, then forget about it and think about what you need to do every day to move forward – not to reach the goal, just to move forward. [33:56]

Resources Mentioned: 

Email: lisa@wellnessfive.com 

Wellness Five

Download this week’s free resource instantly when you sign up for The Good Mood Show newsletter here! 

Or, reach out on our contact page at GoodMoodShow.com/Contact and we will email you a copy of any free resource you request.

About the Guest 

Lisa Burbage is a board-certified health and wellness coach who focuses on helping people feel more connected and happier. She coaches many CEOs and C-suite executives and companies in the corporate world for more health and wellness.