Ask Christopher West

Theology of the Body Institute
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Since the early 90's, author and speaker Christopher West has devoted his life to spreading John Paul II's revolutionary teaching on human life, love, and sexuality: The Theology of the Body. His beloved wife Wendy, mother of their five children, has served as his confidante, friend, and support through these long years of ministry. In this podcast, Christopher and Wendy combine their wisdom to tackle the toughest questions dealing with vocation, sexuality, marriage, and the Catholic faith.

  1. 3 days ago

    Were We Really Married That First Night?, My Boyfriend's Secret Lust Broke My Heart, and Should Boys Still Be Circumcised? | ACW391

    Questions answered this episode: Suppose a couple marries in the Catholic Church but mutually agrees to use contraception initially, intending to have children later. On their wedding night, they engage in marital relations. After seven years, they stop using contraception and have two children. In this situation, would their marriage be considered consummated from the wedding night, even though they were not open to life then, or would consummation occur later when they open themselves to having children? Additionally, if they return to using contraception after their second child, how does this affect the understanding of their marriage's consummation and integrity?My heart aches because I’ve struggled with my body image since youth, fueled by social media and boys rating girls. I don't have those drastic curvy proportions guys find ideal, and I feared I’d never be a man’s first choice. When I met my boyfriend, he made me feel like the only girl in the world, and I finally started loving my body. However, I recently found out he was hiding secret lustful habits. I’m shocked and my past pain is back. How can I ever feel beautiful or get married now? I just want to wear loose clothing and make my body disappear.Is it still important for boys to be circumcised now that Jesus has come to establish the new law? I've heard arguments for both sides, and I'm confused. THE TRUTH AND THE LIE book pre-order Magnifica Humanitas Forum *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ Good News About Sex & Marriage THEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK)

    56 min

  2. 22 Jun

    Pre-wedding playfulness feels like pressure, How can a man be called bride?, and Processing my father’s suicide. | ACW390

    Questions answered this episode: I’m engaged and will be married in August 2026. My fiancé and I both have sexual pasts, but we have waited and are continuing to wait to have sex for the first time in marriage. This has been very difficult. My fiancé has gotten frustrated with my response when he is trying to be playfully sexy. I don't want to venture too far down that path as it has gotten us too close to sex in the past. However, he fears that if I'm not open to being playful now, I won't be in marriage either. Truthfully, I don't think I understand what kind of playfulness is appropriate in marriage, and I'm starting to feel pressure to live up to some fantasy when we get married.I've been wrestling with one thing you said about gender and how only men can be priests. The context, from what I recall, was that only men can be priests because the priest is the groom, or is acting as Christ in the mass, who is the groom. That makes the congregation the bride. If women can't be priests because they are women, how can a man be a bride in the congregation?Five years ago, my dad committed suicide. The experience left me in shock, and I still feel that shock today. At the time, I felt the need to be strong for my mom and sister, holding everything together. Now, I sense God is inviting me to revisit this wound and allow myself to grieve more deeply. However, I find it very difficult to access my emotions; I want to cry, but I can't. Recently, through learning more about TOB, I've found myself struggling to understand how to interpret what happened, especially in relation to the dignity of the body and suffering. Theology of the Body and Art: The Way of Beauty Course Course Schedule for other courses Litanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry Crete Scripture For Your Inner Outcasts Podcast --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 📩 Submit your question here! ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ --- 🎟️ Event Schedule 📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule 🏔️ Pilgrimages 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

    1hr 10min
  3. Dark fantasies threaten marriage, Did Jesus have a body before birth?, and Vaginismus fears | ACW389

    15 Jun

    Dark fantasies threaten marriage, Did Jesus have a body before birth?, and Vaginismus fears | ACW389

    Questions answered this episode: Hi Christopher and Wendy, this is Matt. I wrote previously regarding a season of deep relational pain and sexual brokenness in our marriage. First, we have to share a miracle. The sacrifice you suggested—asking the global community to fast for our healing—brought a new wine of healing and self-giving love that seemed impossible. We're now in a golden hour of intense reconnection. However, as this fire wakes up, we've discovered deeper roots of lustful fantasies. We're committed to total transparency to avoid past secrecy, but we're struggling with the prudence of sharing. How do we navigate total transparency without that sharing becoming over-arousal or fueling the concupiscence we're trying to purify? We aren't sure how to face our desires without being taken by them.My question is about something that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm thinking about transfiguration. If Jesus has always been part of the salvation plan, and always exists, was the true bodily reality of Jesus what the apostles saw that day at the transfiguration? It makes me wonder, did Jesus have a bodily nature before the incarnation and entering into history? How? Or did his complete and true nature begin at that moment in history? Am I understanding it wrong?I'm in my 20s and about to get engaged to a wonderful man. We've been working through your Love and Responsibility series together, which has been a blessing. However, I struggle with vaginismus, mainly traced back to a traumatic experience at the doctor's office when I was 14. I'm starting physical therapy soon, but this is a major place of fear for my future marriage. How do we talk about this appropriately before marriage and work through it together? What advice would you have for us in dealing with this woundedness? How do I heal physically and spiritually to cultivate openness towards the Lord's love and my future spouse? Theology of the Body and Art: The Way of Beauty Course Course Schedule for other courses Love & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd

    1hr 13min

  4. 8 Jun

    Is Latin Mass superior?, He wants me in revealing clothes, and Coming back to Church risks my marriage. | ACW388

    Questions answered this episode: I just wondered about Latin Masses in the Catholic Church. I live in the United States, and no one speaks Latin here, so I wondered what the draw is to go to Latin Masses. It feels like in Catholic circles those who go to Latin Masses are considered more Catholic. If God made our bodies and speaks to us through our bodies, shouldn't it be more helpful to go to a mass that we can understand using our sense of hearing? Or am I just not as far along in my faith life as those who appreciate Latin Mass?My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're both Catholic, but my husband doesn't think I look beautiful unless I wear tight, revealing clothes. We struggle a lot when he suggests I wear something with a lower neckline or that's skin tight. I'm not comfortable wearing stuff like that, but he feels that I'm not trying to be beautiful for him, even if I wear nice, slightly more modest clothes. How can I love my husband and not be hurt by his wanting me to wear more revealing clothes? And how can we find a middle ground here?My wife and I were married outside the Catholic Church. For the past eight years, I've not practiced my faith. However, as of late, I have had a deep and real call back to the church. In some way, my wife was blindsided by this decision, and not thrilled. I've taken a step back from re-entering the church out of fear of conflict between my wife and me. This has made for some serious challenges in our marriage. Is it sinful for us to come together in our nuptial embrace outside of the church where I've found the truth to be? Is our marriage invalid for this same reason? Resources: TOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026 Course Schedule for other courses Pierced by Beauty: Encountering God In the Flesh Mexico Retreat Love & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd Good News About Sex & Marriage Our Bodies Tells God's Story Book --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 📩 Submit your question here! ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ --- 🎟️ Event Schedule 📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule 🏔️ Pilgrimages 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

    56 min

  5. 25 May

    Eight miscarriages echo Mary's grief, Is polygyny Biblical?, and When period cramps prompt masculine wishes. | ACW386

    Questions answered this episode: I hope you can help connect the dots with something stirring in my heart. In your Marian mystery course, you discussed when the Bible mentions Jerusalem, it's ultimately a reference to Mary, and how a woman opening herself to conception participates in Mary's Fiat. Since then, I've suffered eight miscarriages. On Palm Sunday, hearing Jesus was entering Jerusalem, I felt intense pain. Given the Jerusalem-Mary connection, I thought of my children whose innocent bodies faced death in my womb, reflecting on Mary holding her innocent Son's body. Are these connections appropriate? If Jerusalem represents Mary, why did Jesus enter there to die? How do we connect this to the hope of resurrected life?I've recently come across a couple conservative Protestant guys, one a pastor, arguing in favor of polygamy—specifically, polygyny. It got me thinking about why we no longer practice this. They're not arguing to make it standard, but rather to allow it as one of three moral options for some people, alongside celibacy or traditional monogamous marriage. One argument they made is that God never changes. Since saints in the Old Testament practiced this, they argue it is not intrinsically sinful like homosexuality. I realize polygamy can lend itself to a lot of abuse. But, could there be situations where it could be a legitimate God honoring option? If not, why not and is polygamy sinful?I'm a 31-year-old single woman. Is it sinful to wonder what it would be like to be a man? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a woman. However, it's easy to get frustrated dealing with a monthly period, pain, and PMS. Half of each month feels thrown out of whack, and sometimes I think it would be easier to be a man. I don't want to change my body or gender; I just get frustrated. A friend said these difficulties make us stronger—is she onto something? I pray thanking God for how I was made, but I don't feel all that thankful. Do you have advice? Resources: Slovakia & Slovenia Event Mike Mangione, director of events contact: events@tobinstitute.org TOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026 --- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ --- Submit you question here! --- 🎟️ Event Schedule 📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule 🏔️ Pilgrimages 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

    1hr 6min

  6. 18 May

    Enduring gossip of a former partner’s promiscuity, Losing physical affection after enforcing a strict kissing boundary, and Shifting from same-sex desires to fantasies. | ACW385

    Questions answered this episode: In my previous relationship, we were trying to abstain from sex. I knew he was watching porn and working on that too. A week after breaking up, he started sleeping with someone else and since has been sleeping with many people. Word that I don't care to hear spreads quickly in a small town. I'm trying to identify the lie from the enemy in this. Right now, I just know that it hurts very deeply. I'm also trying to find the truth in all this pain.My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Early on, we discussed physical boundaries. I shared that kissing with the intention of increasing arousal crosses a line for me, while he felt anything short of sex was acceptable. A few times I've pulled away because the kissing becomes too arousing. This causes him to shut down and get hurt, feeling he has done something wrong. Now, his response is to show barely any physical affection. How can I navigate this in a way that honors our boundaries without hurting him or falling into lust? I'm a 27-year-old man who has struggled with same-sex attraction my entire life. In recent years, I've gained control over my desires through inner healing, dedicating time to embracing my masculine identity and building good male friendships. Listening to your podcast, I realized navigating my disoriented attractions is not about repressing my eros out of shame, but asking God for more—that He might help me see the true beauty in all things, even women. I sometimes entertain fantasies of women, seeking companionship and human connection. I enjoy these because they seem more ordered than my desires for the same sex. I'm not sure if this is what it means to expand my eros. Resources: TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026 Course Schedule Good News About Sex & Marriage Love & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd Sexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube Video Fill These Hearts THEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK) ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ John Paul II Healing Center Events Desert Stream Ministries Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ --- Submit you question here! --- 🎟️ Event Schedule 📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule 🏔️ Pilgrimages 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

    1hr 4min

  7. 27 Apr

    Healing Sexual Performance Wounds, Wearing “Sexy” Attire in Marriage & How Find God’s Gaze | ACW382

    Questions answered this episode: I have a question about Second Chronicles, chapter seven, verse fourteen, which says: 'If my people, who are called by my name, humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' My question is: how do we seek God’s face? I hear it all the time, but I’m not sure exactly how to do it. Is it through adoration, reading scripture, or sitting silently in His presence?"My wife and I have been married for 11 years with six children. Before we met, she had a four-year romantic relationship that was not chastened. Through the Lord’s work, we lived a call to chastity in our engagement and marriage. While there has been healing from her past wounds, we realize more is needed. When we married, my wife was shocked that she had less desire for sex than in her previous relationship. We also struggle for her to reach climax, which wasn't a problem then. This leaves me feeling unworthy, incapable, and unloved, despite her deep love for me. We’ve tried applying Theology of the Body to our struggle, but we don’t know how.Can you talk about lingerie or cute short dresses only used within the privacy of a husband and wife in Catholic teaching? I always thought about it as something beautiful that looks good and that I would love to wear, but not outside—something that my husband could enjoy between us privately. I’m worried it is not good to wear anything ‘sexy’ or short, flattering on the body, and clearly inviting even for your husband. I don’t know if this is scrupulosity or fear that it will be bad for our marriage, for him, or for me. For context, I’m not married yet but soon will be and I’m preparing excitedly. Resources: Nacho Libre Video TOB1 Course Course Schedule Lingerie Podcast Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ --- Submit you question here! --- 🎟️ Event Schedule 📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule 🏔️ Pilgrimages 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

    1hr 6min

  8. 20 Apr

    Finding Beauty in a Drooling Pope, the Sexual Desire of a Single Woman, and a Widow's Exhausting Loneliness. | ACW381

    Questions answered this episode: As a teacher of Theology of the Body, I was presented with a picture of Pope John Paul II by a former student. Before seeing it, I hoped for an image of his younger, energetic self—skiing, hiking, or writing. However, it was a close-up of him as an elderly man, hunched in a chair. I felt a wave of disappointment, realizing I struggle to see the beauty in the entirety of life and the aging body. I know I have healing to do in my heart; how do I begin to see the whole life cycle as a gift?As a single woman, is it wrong to have sexual desires? I don’t think about men lustfully; it’s more of a deep ache to be loved, married, and have sex. At random times, I wish I had someone to hold, caress, and embrace in the marital act. My body also shows physical signs of arousal, especially during certain times in my cycle—perhaps God’s way of giving me a foretaste of the New Jerusalem. I’ve tried offering my desires to God in prayer, but I still feel this ache in my heart and body. I am 60 years old and have been a widow for eight years. My husband and I were looking forward to a new chapter of intimacy after our children moved out, but then he died. In my anger and grief, I invited a deviant sexual spirit upon myself, feeling it was ridiculous to live without sex or marriage at my age. Though I have since repented, I feel heartbroken and betrayed by God. I feel I was created to be a wife, yet I am exhausted from being alone with no mate in sight. I simply want to know: why?--- Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. --- 🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠ 📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠ ⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠ --- Submit you question here! --- 🎟️ Event Schedule 📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule 🏔️ Pilgrimages 🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠ *If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠ Resources: ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠Love & Responsibility YouTube Series

    52 min
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About

Since the early 90's, author and speaker Christopher West has devoted his life to spreading John Paul II's revolutionary teaching on human life, love, and sexuality: The Theology of the Body. His beloved wife Wendy, mother of their five children, has served as his confidante, friend, and support through these long years of ministry. In this podcast, Christopher and Wendy combine their wisdom to tackle the toughest questions dealing with vocation, sexuality, marriage, and the Catholic faith.

Information

  • Creator
    Theology of the Body Institute
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    392
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Theology of the Body Institute
  • Show Website
    Ask Christopher West

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