Proxy with Yowei Shaw

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It’s the knot you can’t untangle — a problem so specific, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who gets it? On Proxy, we investigate niche emotional conundrums by finding someone who's lived something close enough — and following the conversation that unfolds. It’s not therapy. It’s emotional investigative journalism™️. Hosted by Yowei Shaw, former co-host and producer of Invisibilia. Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one. Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com If you’re new, try: Bisexual Wife Guy, Yowei Can't Speak Bro, or Nicole Can't Stop Being Aggro. 

  1. Yaroslava Can't Go Home

    21/10/2025

    Yaroslava Can't Go Home

    The case of the teenager who can't go home. Yaroslava was 16 when she woke up in Ukraine to the sound of explosions and had to flee her town in Ukraine.  Now Yara is 19, living in New York, studying digital marketing, arranging flowers, and doing better. But her grandma is still back home. Her friends are scattered. And every time Yara starts to enjoy her life here, she feels guilty for not being back home.  In this episode, Yowei hosts a proxy conversation between Yaroslava and Sariyah Abuzant, a filmmaker from Palestine who also had to make a life far from the place she loves. Together, they investigate displacement, guilt, long-distance friendship, and the small ways we keep home alive after we leave. From the episode:  — Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work: www.dignitybeyondborders.org, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybeyondborders — Yaroslava — on Instagram: @yasiiaaaa — Sariyah Abuzant — watch her film FordDat:https://vimeo.com/1101397354?fl=pl&fe=sh — Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work: www.dignitybeyondborders.org Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybeyondborders — Yaroslava — on Instagram: @yasiiaaaa — Sariyah Abuzant — watch her film FordDat: https://vimeo.com/1101397354 New to Proxy? New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life, for another story about when the road not taken won’t leave you alone For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

    42 min
  2. An Estrangement Mystery

    30/09/2025

    An Estrangement Mystery

    An Emotions Beat episode about the reasons that keep going missing.  In  family estrangement, there's a strange pattern that shows up again and again: adult children say they've explained why they need distance, while parents say they have no idea what went wrong.  So where do the reasons go?  In part 2 of our estrangement series, reporter Kim Nederveen Pieterse talks with two therapists who work on opposite sides of family estrangement: Becca Bland, who is estranged from her own parents and now helps families navigate this, and Joshua Coleman, who became an expert on estranged parents after reconciling with his own daughter. Together, they unpack the explanations estranged families reach for — narcissistic parents, oversensitive kids, broken communication —  and what it takes for a parent to stop defending their version of events long enough to hear their child's pain.  From the episode:  — Becca Bland — follow her work with families and people surviving estrangement: www.beccabland.com — Joshua Coleman — read New Rules of Estrangement, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and learn more: www.drjoshuacoleman.com — Kim Nederveen Pieterse — listen to more of her reporting: www.kimnp.org New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Brian Can't Stop Fact-Checking His Mother-in-Law for another story about family, love, and trying to be heard. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

    41 min
  3. Alex and the Impossible Ask

    09/09/2025

    Alex and the Impossible Ask

    The case of two podcasters who hated asking for money. Alex Goldman used to host Reply All. Yowei used to host Invisibilia. Now they both make independent podcasts — Alex with Hyperfixed, Yowei with Proxy — which means they now have to ask listeners for money all the time.  The problem, is they hate doing this.  In this episode, Yowei and Alex investigate the the great emotional conundrum of independent media: can you ask people to support your work without feeling sleazy, annoying, pathetic, egotistical, or like a scared telemarketer? With help from fundraising expert Haley Bash and one very honest listener, they investigate transparency, shame, listener backlash, gooey brownies, and why telling people what you need might be less embarrassing than letting the thing you love disappear. From the episode:  — Alex Goldman — host of the podcast Hyperfixed: www.hyperfixedpod.com — Haley Bash — founder of Donor Organizer Hub, a support network for people fundraising for under-resource causes: www.donororganizerhub.org — The Accidental Fundraiser — Haley's step-by-step guide to raising money for your cause New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for another story about trying to keep making art when the old way stops working.  For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

    56 min
  4. Sandy and the Silence

    26/08/2025

    Sandy and the Silence

    An Emotions Beat investigation about what silence sounds like when your rights are under attack.  After Trump’s reelection, Sandy Ernest Allen watched attacks on trans rights escalate — and waited for more cis people to say something. Check in. Show up. Make noise. But mostly, he heard silence. Then Sandy did something counterintuitive. Instead of asking why people didn’t care, he asked cis people what made them start caring about trans rights. Hundereds of people answered. In this episode, Yowei and Sandy investigate what’s hiding inside the silence: overwhelm, shame, fear of saying the wrong thing or looking performative, and the dangerous assumption that someone else will handle it. And Sandy makes the case for allyship that is loud, imperfect, and badly needed. From the episode:  — Sandy Ernest Allen — writes the newsletter What's Helping Today:  www.sandyernestallen.com — "To Cis People Who Feel Despair" — Sandy's guide to supporting trans people — The post on Bluesky: @sandyernestallen — Support Sandy's writing: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallen  New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro for another story about what it takes to keep caring when the world is horrifying.  For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

    32 min
  5. How to Cope with Now

    12/08/2025

    How to Cope with Now

    An Emotions Beat episode about how to keep caring without falling apart. Anya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings.  In this episode, Yowei talks with Anya about what she's learned from scientists, activists, psychologists, and thinkers about how to live through crises upon crises. Together, they investigate compassion fatigue, psychic numbing, fear, denial, burnout, joy, collective action, and why coping with now doesn't mean looking away — it means moving through the hard feelings to keep taking action. From the episode: — Anya Kamenetz — writer of the newsletter The Golden Hour — We Are the Great Turning — a podcast she produced with eco-spiritual teacher Joanna Macy, about love, courage, and connection in the climate crisis New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming and it starts to take over how you feel For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

    37 min
  6. Brian Can't Stop Fact-checking His Mother-In-Law

    17/06/2025

    Brian Can't Stop Fact-checking His Mother-In-Law

    The case of the reporter who can't stop fact-checking his mother-in-law. Brian’s mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s and lives with his family. He loves her. He knows she can’t help misremembering things. And still, when she says something that isn’t true, he corrects her.  In this episode, Yowei connects Brian with Claudia Drossell, a psychologist who works with caregivers of people with dementia. Together, they investigate the emotional reality of caregiving: grief, resentment, shame, and how to accept his anger so he can protect the time his family has left.  From the episode:  — Brian Reed — host of the podcast Question Everything — on Instagram @brihreed, X @BriHReed — Claudia Drossel — psychology p rofessor at Eastern Michigan University — caregiving resources mentioned in this episode New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or.Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs for another story about love, caregiving, and resentment. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

    52 min
  7. Is it time to break up the band?

    03/06/2025

    Is it time to break up the band?

    The case of the bandmates who can't finish their record and don't know why. Evan and Chris are best friends, bandmates, and creative partners. Years ago, their band The Superweaks was on the verge of breaking out. Then Evan's brother Corey — the band's bassist — died suddenly, and the band never recovered.  Now they have a record that's almost done. Just a few vocals left. But it's been stuck for years, tangled in grief, burnout, ADHD, resentment, lack of leadership, and silence.  In this episode, Yowei connects Evan and Chris with Ryan Dusick, founding drummer of Maroon 5 turned therapist, to investigate what happens when a band is also a friendship, a dream, a workplace, and a family system — and what it takes to get unstuck.  From the episode:  — The Superweaks — listen to their single "Blindside" and The Superweaks Superweekly Supercast episode where Yowei stumbles into the case — on Instagram @thesuperweaks — Ryan Dusick — author of Harder to Breathe: A Memoir of Making Maroon, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery, and host of The Harder To Breathe podcast — on Instagram @ryan_michael_dusick — The Music Industry Therapist Collective: www.musicindustrytherapists.com New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for another story about friendship and miscommunication.  For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

    56 min
  8. The Utility of Self-Delusion (and Big Show Update)

    19/03/2025 ·  BONUS

    The Utility of Self-Delusion (and Big Show Update)

    Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project? From the episode:  — Useful Delusions: The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain by Shankar Vedantam — Radiotopia from PRX New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy, one of the clearest examples of what this show does, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a funny investigation into male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation.

    18 min
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It’s the knot you can’t untangle — a problem so specific, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who gets it? On Proxy, we investigate niche emotional conundrums by finding someone who's lived something close enough — and following the conversation that unfolds. It’s not therapy. It’s emotional investigative journalism™️. Hosted by Yowei Shaw, former co-host and producer of Invisibilia. Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one. Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com If you’re new, try: Bisexual Wife Guy, Yowei Can't Speak Bro, or Nicole Can't Stop Being Aggro. 

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