SUDO Show 75, “I Don’t Know How to Make Coffee,” is a full‑on April Fools special where “business meets Linux” takes a back seat to pranks, retro war stories, and questionable life choices. Bill, Neal, and Noel start with open source airplanes, HDMI‑to‑floppy adapters, and whether airplane wings actually flap, then quickly descend into cargo‑class containers, VM‑matrix jokes, and vintage Linux desktop pain with FVWM95 and XFree86. From decaf‑only coffee stunts, BashRC logout traps, PC speaker torture, and ping‑flooded LAN parties to PACMAN.BAT in the school lab, Gentoo use‑flag accidents, OpenStack root‑password “oops” moments, and a threat to invent Fedora.js, they share their most devious tech and non‑tech pranks. Along the way, they talk MSP coffee culture, two‑pots‑a‑day network engineering, Kubernetes as “all YAML,” and close by reminding you not to try any of this at work—no matter how good that April Fools itch feels. Show Links: FVWM95 – https://fvwm95.sourceforge.net/ ReactOS – https://reactos.org/ Kata Containers – https://katacontainers.io podman – https://podman.io Chapters: 00:00:00 Intro – Off the Rails April Fools 00:00:55 Open Source Airplanes and HDMI-to-Floppy 00:01:50 Do Airplane Wings Flap? 00:04:28 Cargo Class and the VM Matrix 00:05:22 Best Tech and Non-Tech Pranks 00:08:49 FVWM95, XFree86, and Fake Windows Desktops 00:14:22 ReactOS and Retro Linux Adventures 00:15:01 Going Vintage in the Future 00:18:09 Bill’s Decaf Coffee and BashRC Pranks 00:19:56 PC Speaker Torture and Random Beeps 00:20:58 Old-School LAN Parties 00:23:05 Ping-Flood LAN Parties and ZipSlack 00:24:21 PSA System Rollback – April Fools 00:25:58 Noel’s PACMAN.BAT and Lab Ban 00:32:02 Linux ISOs and School Network Quotas 00:35:07 Office Built from Old Optiplex Cases 00:39:28 First Home PCs and Gateway Cow Boxes 00:42:06 Serial Mice Still in Production 00:42:56 Gentoo Use Flags and history 00:46:22 OpenStack Cluster and Lost Root Password 00:48:41 Ranking Pranks and Coffee + Desktop Combo 00:50:45 Noel Hates Coffee 00:52:26 MSP Coffee Culture and “I Don’t Know How to Make Coffee” 00:55:51 Weaponized Iced Coffee 00:58:52 /30 Subnets per Phone and Two Pots of Coffee 01:01:10 No Rails 01:02:06 May Your BBQ Sauce Be Watery 01:03:36 Kubernetes Is All YAML 01:04:04 Fedora.js 01:04:57 Disclaimer – Do Not Try This at Work 01:06:01 Ball Pits, Ball.js, and Bouncy Balls 01:07:29 Outro – Where Business Meets Terrible Jokes Connect with the Hosts: Bill - @ctlinux on Mastodon Neal - @neal@social.gompa.me on Mastodon Noel - https://github.com/noelmiller