The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
Self-Awareness: 95% Of People Think They Are, But Only 15% Actually Are - Unveiling Emotional Intelligence
Research shows that 95% of adults believe they are self-aware, yet only 10-15% actually are. Where do you fit into this equation? Tony delves into the world of emotional intelligence, and how your emotions shape your reactions, and how that can negatively or positively impact your relationships. From personal anecdotes, including a delayed flight and a lucid dreaming experience, Tony illustrates the importance of self-awareness and emotional management. The episode comprehensively explores emotional intelligence, highlighting its impact on personal relationships, leadership, and self-perception. Tony discusses the four critical components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, emphasizing the foundational role of self-awareness in recognizing emotional triggers and responding thoughtfully in challenging situations.This episode goes beyond theory, intertwining personal stories, client experiences, and research findings to reveal the transformative power of emotional intelligence in both personal and professional settings. Tony invites listeners to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth, emphasizing continuous self-reflection and intentional efforts to enhance emotional intelligence. He also touches on the influence of emotional intelligence in leadership and workplace dynamics, underscoring its value in effective team collaboration and conflict resolution. With a focus on empathy and effective emotion management, Tony's insights serve as a compelling call to action, encouraging individuals to cultivate these skills for improved well-being and success in an increasingly complex and interconnected world.Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
It’s a Me Thing, Dang It! - Strengthening Parent-Child Relationships From Changing Their Diapers to (Hopefully!) Them Changing Yours
Have you ever wished for a better relationship with your parents? As a parent, do you worry that how you're raising your kids now might make them feel disconnected from you as adults? Where does one start laying the foundation to ensure a healthy parent-child relationship into adulthood? Today, Tony delves deep into these pressing questions, offering insightful answers and practical guidance.Tony discusses the intricate dynamics between parents and their adult children. We explore themes of non-judgmental observation, the crucial role of patience and consistent effort, the art of practicing acceptance, and the importance of self-compassion in mending and strengthening these relationships. Tony sheds light on the common pitfalls of making judgments and assumptions, urging parents to empathize with their children's experiences without imposing their perspectives. The episode emphasizes the parent's role as the primary agent of change, highlighting that while we cannot erase the past, we can certainly start a new, more hopeful chapter. ‘We can't erase the past, but it's okay to start a new chapter, one where growth is possible, and the relationship can find a new form,’ Tony notes, encapsulating the message of hope and resilience.Listeners will discover actionable steps for parents, including the power of self-reflection, acknowledging past hurts, reaching out consistently without pressure, and nurturing self-compassion and patience. The episode also discusses the therapeutic approach of writing a letter to acknowledge a child's experiences to promote understanding and healing. This conversation is about repairing relationships and transforming them through empathy, understanding, and a committed, patient journey toward healing and growth. Tune in for an enlightening exploration of how to nurture and heal the complex yet beautiful connections between parents and their adult children, making this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to deepen and improve these essential relationships in their life.Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Processing the Unthinkable: Hours After Lewiston, Maine Neighborhood Mass Murder
Last Wednesday evening, October 25, 2023, Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Joshua Shea traded text messages as they often do on Wednesday to discuss whether or not they were going to meet virtually early Thursday morning as they continue to work on various projects around their best-selling book, “He’s a Porn Addict Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.” The text conversations took an abrupt turn as Josh was alerted by an emergency broadcast on his phone and through social media that 40-year-old Maine National Guard reservist Robert Card went on two shooting rampages, killing 18 people and wounding 13 with the second only a mile away from Shea's home in Lewiston, Maine. Several days later, Josh and Tony get together to attempt to navigate the complex emotional landscape of discussing such a horrifying event, underscoring the importance of approaching the subject with the utmost sensitivity, empathy, and respect. Tony and Josh dive deep into Shea's personal experiences during the incident and its aftermath. As a former news reporter, Shea candidly shares the surreal emotional and psychological journey he took, contrasting his past experiences running towards crises as part of his job to now sheltering at home in fear and uncertainty. Shea reveals the emotional rollercoaster he's been on: from survivor guilt and concern for his family's safety to the struggles of processing such an immense tragedy, including what the future looks like when an event that we hear about unfortunately far too often actually happens in an area that you know so well. The conversation touches on the psychological toll of collective traumatic experiences, like 9/11 and the COVID-19 pandemic, and the long-lasting effects they have on individuals and entire communities.The episode wraps up with insightful conversations around coping mechanisms and the critical importance of mental health support in the wake of traumatic events. This episode serves as a sobering but necessary dialogue on the unpredictable nature of life and the importance of mental and emotional preparedness while understanding that everybody has their own experience and that there truly is no “correct” way to grieve. It's an episode that invites the audience not just to hear but to listen, reflect, and possibly find solace in shared human experiences.Please visit Tony's linktree to find out more about his various other projects or to sign up for his mailing list to get the latest on courses, podcasts, and more https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)
When Therapy/Coaching Does More Harm Than Good - The Destructive Nature of Shame and Blame
Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA) Tony dives into the destructive nature of shame-based therapy, refuting its effectiveness and ethical standing. You'll hear firsthand accounts of the damage shame-based approaches can cause, all the while raising the question: How should therapists truly be helping their clients?In the second half, the episode shifts towards de-stigmatizing 'porn addiction,' urging listeners to understand it as more of an unhealthy coping mechanism and why strength-based approaches to improving one's life with the acceptance that it is THEIR life work and a therapist, life coach, or religious leader making it about THEMSELVES will only further exacerbate the problem. Tony talks about evidence-based therapeutic strategies like acceptance and commitment therapy that operate from a place of compassion, not shame. By doing so, individuals are empowered with the tools and emotional freedom to reshape their coping mechanisms, ultimately leading to more fulfilling lives. Please subscribe to Tony's YouTube Channel here https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast)and you can find this video with Descript’s “eye contact” feature enabled here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s) Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik (https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik)Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ (https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/) as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ (https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/%C2%A0)To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchSubscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.
Worry Less, Live More: How to Hit the Happiness Jackpot by Letting Go
Have you ever wondered why chasing happiness often leaves you feeling unfulfilled? Or why your need for control seems to be controlling you? Tony answers these questions and more as he dives into the complexities of happiness, control, and commitment through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He challenges the common notion that happiness is all about feeling good and explores a richer, more meaningful definition of happiness that aligns with our core values. He also tackles the human need for control and certainty, discussing how letting go and embracing uncertainty can be liberating, allowing us to focus on what truly matters.And if you’ve ever wondered about whether or not a little bit of worrying is helping, or if you’ve questioned if commitment is more than just sticking to a plan, Tony offers insight that will bring more clarity as well as provide you with a few steps to help get you unstuck. We dive deep into commitment, emphasizing that it's not always about feeling good but about taking consistent, value-based actions—even when it's tough. The episode also addresses the pitfalls of worrying and ruminating, offering a fresh perspective on problem-solving that aligns with our values. We introduce the idea of self-differentiation, explaining how it allows us to maintain emotional and intellectual independence while fully engaging with the world around us. Ever catch yourself reminiscing about the early days of your relationship when everything felt fresh and exciting? Let's be honest, over time, routines set in, and we often find ourselves on relationship auto-pilot. But what if you could shake things up and rediscover that joy? The Unlock the Power of Intimacy Summit is your golden ticket. Best of all, it’s FREE. I am participating as a presenter and host of other marriage and intimacy experts.This is FOUR days of incredible insight for free, starting Monday, October 9th.We will uncover tools and strategies to deepen your connection, elevate your relationship skillset, and reignite your passion. I will go deep into my “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” (and much more!).https://tonyoverbay.us16.list-manage.com/track/click?u=83ba492f9e6161cdbe0a39671&id=415b315c40&e=14037a4779 (https://tonyoverbay.us16.list-manage.com/track/click?u=83ba492f9e6161cdbe0a39671&id=415b315c40&e=14037a4779)Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik (https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik)Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ (https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/) as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ (https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/%C2%A0)
Wounded by Words? Healing the Scars of Internal Negativity
Dive deep with Tony as he unravels the origins and implications of our "inner critic." From the evolutionary roots that kept our ancestors safe from predators to the modern-day societal...