Savage Lovecast Dan Savage

Getting a haircut is boring! Unless. Unless your hairstylist strokes your neck, pulls your hair, talks dirty and asks if you want to fool around. 
A straight man was walking home at night when a drunk man hurled anti-gay insults at him. In a moment of improvised solidarity, the caller said he WAS gay. The drunk found some friends and chased the caller off. Now the caller wonders if what he did was wrong. His gay friend said it wasn't cool to pose as gay. What will Dan think?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Jason Roeder- former senior editor of the Onion, and author of "Griefstrike" which managed to make grief...hilarious. Now he's wading into the advice industry, with his column Bad Advice. You'll have to listen to find out if it lives up to its name. He and Dan talk about the etiquette of disclosing when you are playing the field on dating apps, whether after-care is to be expected of a friend with benefits, and a double standard in dating profile pics.  
And just in time for Pride Month, a woman wonders if it's ok for her to enter gay male spaces like International Mr. Leather and Folsom. She finds gay men sexy, especially when they are all decked out. But would she be welcome? 

206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love

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Dan takes on a couple of heavy calls this week- A woman learned that her ex-boyfriend of 8 years was convicted on child pornography charges. He will almost certainly go to prison. He was once her fiancé. Rough stuff. 
Then, Dan helps a woman make the heart-breaking choice between a single or a double mastectomy. 
Our guest this week is the sharp, hilarious comedian Jared Goldstein. He and Dan talk about how gay men reject long-haired homos, how straight men don't get "headaches," and definitively answer whether dreams get weirder and kinkier as we age. A little is on the Micro, the whole thing is on the Magnum. 
Finally, he's dating a woman who isn't quite over her ex. And her ex is the caller's boss. And the ex is a super-hot guy who hunts caribou. He was "like a drug" to his girlfriend. How can the caller ever hope to compete? 
Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

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Yikes! Her boyfriend's pre-teen son has been stealing her underwear. This very naughty lad lives with them half the time. How can she get this boundary violation out of her head? 
12 long years ago, he cheated on his wife. They got through it with therapy and endless processing. While watching TV with their kids (age 10 and 13) the subject of infidelity came up on the show, and his wife appeared upset. She was angry that he didn't pause the show and tell his kids that he had cheated on their mom. How can he work with her unresolved issues?
On the Magnum, we are delighted to bring back our favorite anal surgeon, Dr. Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical Dr. Goldstein has a new book out: "Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between." His take on sexual health and prioritizing pleasure is refreshing and rare. He and Dan talk about the health challenges transwomen face, and whether you can stretch out your ass in one fateful evening. 
A gay man has a bad track record with polyamory. Every time he gets together with a couple, trouble follows. Does it work for anyone? Ever? 

Q@Savage.Love          206-302-2064 

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A lesbian has befriended a married lesbian couple. She thinks they're both hot, and in various light-hearted conversations, they said they were open to group sex. But were they serious? Should the caller proposition them? 
When a woman was 17, she connected with a 24 year-old man, and began a fraught relationship full of sex, drama and sneaking around. She eventually cut things off, convinced that the age difference made it exploitative. He still tries to contact her now and again. How bad was this, and how can she get him out of her head? 
This weeks guest is comedian Rachel Feinstein. Her upcoming Netflix comedy special "Big Guy" is not to be missed. Now, let's talk about tea bagging. Sure, you know what it means. But who is the "tea-bagger?" The one with the mouth, or the one with the balls? Unsurprisingly, this conversation raises more questions than it answers. 
These two get super-real with each other, spelling out the stories of their first sexual encounters. Dan's first-time story has a detail that even shocked Nancy...you'll just have to listen. The first 8 minutes are on the Micro, and the whole raucous thing is on the Magnum. 
Finally, we all deal with grief in different ways. This poor man lost a dear friend, and consoles himself with frequent masturbation. Is this healthy? Is it ok? 


Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064


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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
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For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ has been viewed worldwide.
Dan and Diana talk about the necessity to gain legal protections for poly folks, separate from the spiritual concept of matrimony. They answer a question from a man considering donating his sperm to an ex. And hear Dan try to score some free legal advice. 

This is a short taste for the Micro listeners. To hear the full interview, become one of Dan's Magnum subs at Savage.Love.

Find Diana @DianaAdamsEsq

Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair?
A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? 
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her essay in the New York Times about the ubiquity of erotic choking among young people went viral, freaking parents out. She and Dan talk about the dangers (both physical and emotional) of choking and then move on to more pleasant subjects: Like the Madonna/whore complex! And wanting someone you cannot have. 
Lastly, a gay man has a wet & messy kink. Lube wrestling? Let's go! Pie in the face? Yes please! But even though his boyfriend is game, the caller still feels shame and has a hard time asking for the thing that turns him on the most. 


You know what turns us on? Your calls. Usually. 
Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 
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