About this episode Has our devotion to work and hustle become the UnAmerican Dream? Some of the hardest-working people I know are in sales, marketing, consulting, and entrepreneurship. We often hear stories about how hustle, grit, and sacrifice led to success. But there is another side to that story. The constant pursuit of professional success can leave damaged relationships, poor health, anxiety, loneliness, and personal wreckage behind it. I know because I lived some of that story myself. Shortly after building and selling a successful company, my 17-year marriage ended. My pursuit of business success had left my health and relationships in serious need of attention. I had to redefine the kind of life I wanted to live. I had to make different choices. I had to set better boundaries. That is why this conversation with my friend Carlos Hidalgo matters so much to me. Carlos is author of The UnAmerican Dream. In this episode, we talk about entrepreneurship, sales and marketing burnout, family, work devotion, hustle culture, and why Carlos believes work-life boundaries are more useful than work-life balance. This conversation is for sellers, marketers, entrepreneurs, consultants, and leaders who feel pressure to always be on. The question is not whether work matters. The question is whether work has taken a place it was never meant to hold. About Carlos Hidalgo Carlos Hidalgo has worked in B2B marketing, sales, demand generation, and customer experience for more than 25 years. In 2005, he co-founded ANNUITAS, a demand generation agency. He later stepped away from the company and started a new business focused on customer experience, VisumCX. Carlos is the author of Driving Demand and The UnAmerican Dream, a more personal book about redefining success, restoring relationships, and establishing healthier boundaries around work. Connect with Carlos: @cahidalgo on X/Twitter Carlos Hidalgo on LinkedIn Carlos Hildalgo Co The UnAmerican Dream book website Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Carlos Hidalgo 01:08 Why Carlos wrote The UnAmerican Dream 02:56 Why he walked away from the company he co-founded 05:00 What gets in the way of life, liberty, and happiness 07:59 Why Carlos rejects work-life balance 11:01 How to set work-life boundaries 16:47 Why hustle culture is destructive 22:15 Designing your job around the life you want A few things worth taking away Walking away from an unhealthy version of success usually is not a single moment. For Carlos, it was a 10-month process. Work-life balance may be the wrong goal. Balance is fragile. Boundaries are more durable because they protect what you value. Boundaries should not be built alone. Carlos built his with his wife and invited trusted people to help him see what he could not see. If you say you value family, health, faith, friendship, rest, or fitness, your calendar should show it. Hustle culture turns constant availability into identity. That damages people and relationships. Sales and marketing leaders are often overwhelmed because the system rewards being always on. Leaders create pressure even when they do not intend to. A late-night email from a boss can silently tell the team they are expected to respond. People need permission to turn off if you want them to bring their best work. You can design your career, job, or business around the kind of life you want. But first you have to define that life. A few lines that stuck with me “We have made work our God.” — Carlos Hidalgo “I don’t believe in work-life balance.” — Carlos Hidalgo “For me, the idea of boundaries is they are more permanent.” — Carlos Hidalgo “Define what you value, and then say, ‘What are the things that I’m letting get in the way of those things?’” — Carlos Hidalgo “There is a story on the other side of every hustle story.” — Carlos Hidalgo “Life is short. I want to make sure I’m here for it.” — Elle Woulfe, quoted by Carlos Hidalgo Resources mentioned The UnAmerican Dream book website The UnAmerican Dream by Carlos Hidalgo Carlos Hidalgo’s LinkedIn post on leaving ANNUITAS VisumCX Claire Potter on LinkedIn Elle Woulfe on LinkedIn PathFactory Alexis Ohanian on hustle porn You may also like New research: Empathy and solving buying problems Growing B2B Sales with Trust and Empathy Why customer advocacy should be at the heart of your marketing Listen and subscribe If you found this episode helpful, subscribe to the B2B Roundtable Podcast wherever you listen. Full transcript Brian Carroll: Hey Carlos. Really glad to have you here on the show. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about your background? Carlos Hidalgo: Yeah. Hey Brian. Always a pleasure to talk to you. I have been in B2B marketing and sales for over 20 years. I think right now it’s about 25 years, which is hard to believe. I’ve been both client-side, and then in 2005, I co-founded an agency. That agency is still running. I left that agency at the end of 2016, beginning of 2017, to start another business. So you could say I’m a bit of an entrepreneur. I love creating things. Now I work with B2B companies in the whole area of customer experience under the new brand VisumCX, and then just wrote my second book. First book was on demand generation, so if you ever have insomnia, go for it. You can read that. But this book was The UnAmerican Dream, which is more my story and a whole lot more personal than the first one. Brian Carroll: I wanted to ask you about that. Can you tell the story about why you wrote this book, The UnAmerican Dream, and why now? Carlos Hidalgo: Yeah, great question. When I left ANNUITAS, which was the first company that I had co-founded and started, I put a post on LinkedIn about why I was leaving. It was more to get back to what I should have been doing in the first place, which was cultivating those meaningful relationships, especially with my children and marriage. I was struck by the number of calls and emails I got from fellow entrepreneurs and fellow business leaders who were saying, “So, how did you do this? What steps did you take because I am at my wit’s end? I’m never seeing my family,” or “My marriage is falling apart,” or insert whatever they were going through. I was really surprised. Wow, this is not just me going through this. So that’s the why. But the why now is the idea of that book came to me over those two years. It was over two years ago. But I needed to work on me first. I had to get some things straight in me. In the introduction, I believe I say I first had the idea in 2016. When I told somebody the title, they said, “It sounds like an angry book.” I believe if I had written it then, it would have been an angry book because I had a lot of things that I had to work through and deconstruct some things that I had held to be true which weren’t true. So I needed to wait. Waiting, I believe, made it a much more authentic book, a much more vulnerable book, but not an angry book in any way. Walking away from the UnAmerican Dream Brian Carroll: As I was listening to you, and I’m going to ask the same question you got asked by many people on LinkedIn. How did you walk away from this UnAmerican Dream, and what do you mean by that? Carlos Hidalgo: Yeah. Wow. How I did it? From the outside, it probably seemed like, oh, he woke up one day and was like, “I’m done.” It was a 10-month process for me. I really wrestled with the decision. And you know, Brian, you’ve started businesses. You’re an entrepreneur yourself. When you start something from scratch and you put everything you have into it, the term I hear often is, “This is my baby.” I wanted to make sure that, first and foremost, I had come to a place where I’m like, “I’ve got to do everything I can to get back those relationships that I had neglected for so long.” So I tried to do that within the context of the first business. That took me 10 months. I kept wrestling with what should I do and how should I do it? It was a conversation with a colleague in the lobby of the Westin who encouraged me. He said, “You know what you need to do. You just need the courage to do it.” I called Suzanne, my wife, at that point a few hours later and said, “I’m leaving.” When it came down to it, I really just pulled the ripcord because I didn’t have a big buyout waiting. I didn’t have this big hoard of cash in the savings account where I could run for months and months. It was a risk. It was scary. It was like, “Okay, so what am I going to do now?” But everything panned out, and everything worked out. I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was the best professional decision I ever made. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness Brian Carroll: Well, Carlos, for our listeners, it will come through. You and I are good friends. I was just thinking about you as an entrepreneur and as I know you. Entrepreneurship is in your blood. It’s part of your history, part of your family history. As I was reading the book, you wrote about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. What’s getting in the way of that? Carlos Hidalgo: Wow, so much is getting in the way of that. I think first and foremost is we as Americans are on this treadmill and this pace, and we have made work our God. We work more than any other group, any other nationality in the world. So just think about that. I just read a stat last week where 32% of Millennials will not take more than a four-night vacation because of work. Seventy percent of the population says, “I don’t have work-life balance.” I was in Nashville this last weekend, and the people we stayed with, he’s like, “I didn’t take all my vacation. I can’t.” I think part of what’s getting in the way of our happiness is we’re slaves to our jobs, we’re slaves to our career, we’re slaves to our businesses, and that’s a choice that we have