11 episodes

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

CØCKPUNCH Tim Ferriss

    • Fiction
    • 4.4 • 17 Ratings

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

    #10: The Oracles of the Edge

    #10: The Oracles of the Edge

    “To be seen by source, you must first learn to see. To learn to see, you must first learn to notice.”

    — The Decree of Dagrún, Scroll Three

    “True power has one wellspring: true names.”

    — The Decree of Ǫlrún, Scroll One

    There are no easy paths to the Oracles of the Edge. That is by design.

    On the 10th day of the 10th month of the 10th year of life, each boy in Varlata is called to travel. The Pilgrimage of Osa predates the name Varlata. It predates all of our memories. Perhaps it has always been.

    A lad of ten and a half years may be on the cusp of physical maturity, but body alone doesn’t make a man. For that, he needs his true name. And for this, he must journey to the Oracles for the Anointing...

    ***

    The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

    • 10 min
    #9: House Namorha

    #9: House Namorha

    “Pleasures delayed are pleasures unmade.”

    — Namorhan line from the song “The 9 Pleasures of the 7 Seas”

    “Man is violence and violence is man. Therefore, the key question is ‘How can we be the best stewards of violence instead of its worst victims?’”

    — Fleet Admiral Gossamer of House Namorha

    The origins of House Namorha are murky. Once again, it depends on who does the telling. This is particularly true with pirates...

    ***

    The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

    • 10 min
    #8: House Kaimur

    #8: House Kaimur

    “Be the vessel that awaits the sacred. Empty yourself so that you may be filled. Seek the light and become the spark of creation.”

    — Oumelion Recital

    “Befriend the shadows so that you may stare into the sun. To see the unseen, allow yourself to disappear. The greatest ambitions need no audience.”

    — Dalomai Recital

    House Kaimur could be the most feared House in the realm, but it isn’t a simple matter. Magic seldom is...

    ***

    The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

    • 13 min
    #7: House Mnemos

    #7: House Mnemos

    “Believe in Mokshanti, for he believes in you. Bow before Mokshanti, for he stands before you.”

    — Morning prayer of House Mnemos

    “Belief without action leads to impotence. Action without belief leads to regret. Belief with action leads to freedom.”

    — The Law of Francippus

    Members of House Mnemos sometimes refer to themselves as the Missionaries of Mokshanti. Outsiders mostly call them clerics.

    Clerics fill the people of the realm with both hope and terror, for they are the harbingers of resurrection...

    ***

    The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

    • 8 min
    #6: House Jaqua

    #6: House Jaqua

    “Kare bo aquato, kare bo oriboro.” (Life unexamined, life unlived)

    — Jaqua festival chant from the Midsummer Burning

    “Take out the garbage, or the Jaqua will take you instead!”

    — Common warning to misbehaving children in Varlata

    House Jaqua is practically a contradiction in terms.

    The other Greater Houses use the term for simplicity and in official communication, but the people of Jaqua refer to themselves as the “Jak-wan,” or “Children of the Vine”...

    ***

    The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

    • 6 min
    #5: House Amekawa

    #5: House Amekawa

    “Dragons don’t bark.”

    — Warning inscription on the mainland archway of the Bridge of Ten  

    There is only one clear way to and from House Amekawa: The Odoroki-Bashi.

    This brilliant red bridge starts at the northern edge of the island stronghold of Amekawa, and it slowly arches up to the southern high-cliff entrance point of the Free Trade Zone, roughly 750 feet above the crashing waves below. The Odoroki-Bashi is more commonly known as the Bridge of Ten Terrors, or the Bridge of Ten, as it became known…

    ***

    The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

    • 15 min

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5
17 Ratings

17 Ratings

12jake12 ,

Amazing podcast

This is an amazing podcast. I am a 12 year old boy and I’ve never heard anything better.

Josh.Porter ,

Wonderfully Absurd

One of my first fiction podcasts and I’m hooked!

BigAudio78 ,

Riveting

I'm hooked after 2 episodes. Getting serious Games of Thrones vibes from this project...

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