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Happy new year! This episode is a relaxed start to the new year with a short chat about books and reading goals. I’ll share a couple of fiction books I’ve read over the break, why I’m *reducing* the number of books I’m planning to read in 2021 and why we need to get back to reading for fun in 2021 (and my anti-challenge #readforfunin21).

Let’s go!

Steph

 

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Other episodes you might like

Best books of 2020

How to build a reading habit

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REBROADCAST – over the December/January break I’m re-sharing two older episodes that are by far the most downloaded episodes of the podcast. If you missed them first time around, this is your perfect chance to catch up. Enjoy!

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About the Authors

Ichiro Kishimi was born in Kyoto, where he still lives, in 1956. He has aspired to become a philosopher since his days in high school. Since 1989, while specialising in Classical Western philosophy, with a special focus on Platonic philosophy, he has researched Adlerian psychology; he writes and lectures on the subject, and provides counselling for “youths” in psychiatric clinics as a certified counsellor and consultant for the Japanese Society of Adlerian Psychology.

Fumitake Koga, an award-winning professional writer and author, was born in 1973. He has released numerous bestselling works of business-related and general non-fiction. He encountered Adlerian psychology in his late twenties, and was deeply affected by its conventional wisdom-defying ideas.

Thereafter, Koga made numerous visits to Ichiro Kishimi in Kyoto, gleaned from him the essence of Adlerian psychology, and took down the notes for the classical “dialogue format” method of Greek philosophy that is used in this book

Source: https://www.allenandunwin.com/browse/books/general-books/self-help-practical/The-Courage-to-be-Disliked-Ichiro-Kishimi-and-Fumitake-Koga-9781760630492

About the Book

In this fable-style book, the core concepts of Adlerian psychology are explored and applied to everyday scenarios. It’s a huge bestseller in Asia, with over 3 million copies sold.

The book is all about being the person you really want to be – by being less concerned with the opinions of others, your doubts or your past experiences. As more and more people seem to be paralysed in the limbo-land between their truest self and assumptions of others, this book provides refreshing alternative mindset and views.

If you suffer with the need to please others, imposter syndrome, the joy-thief of comparison or a tendency to attribute your current situation to your previous experiences then this will provide a challenging and worthwhile perspective.

Buy the book from The Book Depository - https://www.bookdepository.com/The-Courage-to-be-Disliked/9781760630492/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Would you like to take better notes from the books you read?  Get your copy of Archley's beautiful book journal, the Book of Books here: https://www.archleys.com/?ref=JamVyS-U4mVR

 

BIG IDEA 1 (2:56) – Denying determinism.

This is the concept of denying trauma – even from awful life events – and recognising your have the choice on how to respond to it.  For instance, just because something bad happened to you it doesn’t mean that your life will be bad as a result of it. We often see this in our own lives, or those around us today, but by denying the idea of determinism, we realize that our past does not determine our future.

In some cases, we behave in a certain way to achieve a goal or live according to other people’s view. One of the biggest points shared in this book is that most of us lack the courage to be happy – because it requires change. This is why some people choose to live a miserable or unhappy life because being happy requires challenging changes.

BIG IDEA 2 (6:24) – Own your tasks.

Each one of us has our own tasks and we should not interfere with other people’s tasks. These three tasks are work, friendship and love. One of the most important ideas here is not looking for or seeking recognition from others – just focusing on your own tasks and our contribution to others/society.

If we need other people to interfere with us, recognize us or celebrate our achievement, we are worried about what other people think about

REBROADCAST - over the December/January break I'm re-sharing two older episodes that are by far the most downloaded episodes of the podcast. If you missed them first time around, this is your perfect chance to catch up. Enjoy!

Sign up to the bookmark newsletter:

https://mailchi.mp/1119b1358a84/thebookmark

 

About the Author

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership.

Brené’s TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 35 million views. Brené lives in Houston, Texas with her husband, Steve, and their children, Ellen and Charlie.

(Source: https://brenebrown.com/media-kit/)

About the Book

Dare to Lead is the fifth New York Times bestseller from Brene. In the book she digs into what it means to be human and how at work this fact is (too) often avoided. We regularly settle for comfort over courage and avoid the real conversations that make progress possible.

She builds on her previous work on empathy vs sympathy, shame vs guilt and vulnerability vs oversharing to bring them into a leadership and workplace context. Brene shares multiple examples of ‘tough crowds’ she’s worked with from those in military uniforms to those in corporate suits and made the concepts real to them in their organisations.

Because ultimately we’re all just people, people, people.

Buy the book from The Book Depository - https://www.bookdepository.com/Dare-to-Lead/9781785042140/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Would you like to take better notes from the books you read?  Get your copy of Archley's beautiful book journal, the Book of Books here: https://www.archleys.com/?ref=JamVyS-U4mVR

 

BIG IDEA 1 (2:32) –  Empathy connects us.

A vital part of empathy is curiosity. You don’t have to have to experienced the same exact scenario to be empathetic with someone. Everyone of us has experience so many emotions in our life , whether we are aware of it or not, we’ve all experienced loss, grief, embarrassment, shame or guilt.  Through curiosity we can connect with people.

Brene also makes a point that empathy is the antidote of shame because when we become empathetic, we remove shame.

BIG IDEA 2 (4:51) – Grounded confidence.

This is not being ‘big headed’ but knowing what you are capable of, come back to that, reflect and move forward. It is also self compassion; knowing you are enough and taking away the judgement of yourself. When you have the confidence to know how you feel in a certain situation, then you’ll be able to move forward.

Knowing and having confidence in your own values also helps you overcome challenging situations. It’s the awareness of these values that helps you decide how to react in certain situations. When teamed with curiosity and empathy, grounded confidence will help you have better conversations with those around you.

BIG IDEA 3 (6:12) – Rumbling with vulnerability.

This is about ’embracing the suck’ because there’s no courage without vulnerability. Brene’s work shows that vulnerability is not about gratuitous oversharing but about putting yourself out there in such a way the you may be subject to criticism or challenge.  Which might suck. Opening yourself that allows you to be brave by showing courage; and courage creates more courage.

Useful Links

Brene’s feedback checklist for more meaningful feedback conversations (and other downloads)

The Dar

Five best books for 2020

Range by David Epstein

Listen to the episode: Range by David Epstein: why you need to stop specialising

Buy the book: https://www.bookdepository.com/Range/9781509843503/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Listen to the episode: I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou: How powerful stories can change your life

Buy the book: https://www.bookdepository.com/I-Know-Why-Caged-Bird-Sings-Maya-Angelou/9780345514400/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

The Power of Ritual by Casper ter Kuile

Listen to the episode: The Power of Ritual by Casper ter Kuile: How wizards and gyms will make you more spiritual

Buy the book: https://www.bookdepository.com/I-Know-Why-Caged-Bird-Sings-Maya-Angelou/9780345514400/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Infinite Game by Simon Sinek

Listen to the episode: Infinite Game by Simon Sinek: Why playing to win will make you lose

Buy the book: https://www.bookdepository.com/The-Infinite-Game/9780241295595/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

Listen to the episode: What I talk about when I talk about running by Haruki Murakami: What you can learn about life from running

Buy the book: https://www.bookdepository.com/What-I-Talk-about-When-I-Talk-about-Running/9780307473394/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Five best podcasts for 2020

Tim Ferris

Listen to the podcast: https://tim.blog/podcast/

Two of my favourite episodes

Brian Koppelman on Making Art, Francis Ford Coppola, Building Momentum, and More (#424)

Daniel Ek, CEO of Spotify — Habits, Systems and Mental Models for Top Performance (#484)

Wind of Change

Listen to the series: https://crooked.com/podcast-series/wind-of-change/

Clever

Listen to the series: http://www.cleverpodcast.com/

Two of my favourite episodes

Ep. 77: Jessica Hische

Ep. 119: Lettering Artist Lauren Hom

Broken Record Podcast 

Listen to the series: https://brokenrecordpodcast.com/

One of my favourite episodes

TOM PETTY’S WILDFLOWERS II WITH ADRIA PETTY

Murder Ballads Podcast

Listen to the series: https://open.spotify.com/show/13uPg0t3QrwppCHTNQ3aRW

One of my favourite episodes

In The Pines

Five other good things I liked in 2020

Two cookbooks

Flavour by Yottam Ottolenghi

Buy the book: https://www.bookdepository.com/Ottolenghi-FLAVOUR-Yotam-Ottolenghi/9781785038938/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Falastin by Sami Tamimi and Tara Wrigley

Buy the book:  https://www.bookdepository.com/Falastin-Cookbook-Sami-Tamimi/9781785038723/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

One fiction book

Honeybee by Craig Silvey

Buy the book: https://www.bookdepository.com/Honeybee-Craig-Silvey/9781760877224/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Two random things that have got me through

Udemy

Les Mills On Demand

Music By: Is this hip hop by LightBeats

Let’s Connect

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/steph-clarke

Instagram: @stephsbizbookshelf

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Listen to the full speech here: https://fs.blog/2012/04/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/ 

 

About the Book: This is Water

In this rare peek into the personal life of the author of numerous bestselling novels, gain an understanding of David Foster Wallace and how he became the man that he was.

Only once did David Foster Wallace give a public talk on his views on life, during a commencement address given in 2005 at Kenyon College. The speech is reprinted for the first time in book form in This is Water. How does one keep from going through their comfortable, prosperous adult life unconsciously? How do we get ourselves out of the foreground of our thoughts and achieve compassion? The speech captures Wallace’s electric intellect as well as his grace in attention to others. After his death, it became a treasured piece of writing reprinted in The Wall Street Journal and the London Times, commented on endlessly in blogs, and emailed from friend to friend.

Writing with his one-of-a-kind blend of causal humor, exacting intellect, and practical philosophy, David Foster Wallace probes the challenges of daily living and offers advice that renews us with every reading.

Source: Amazon

About the Author

David Foster Wallace wrote the acclaimed novels Infinite Jest and The Broom of the System and the story collections Oblivion, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, and Girl With Curious Hair. His nonfiction includes the essay collections Consider the Lobster and A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, and the full-length work Everything and More.  He died in 2008.

Buy the book from The Book Depository - https://www.bookdepository.com/This-Is-Water-David-Foster-Wallace/9780316068222/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Would you like to take better notes from the books you read?  Get your copy of Archley's beautiful book journal, the Book of Books here: https://www.archleys.com/?ref=JamVyS-U4mVR

Source: Amazon

 

BIG IDEA 1 (4:23) – How to think

This is about the things in our life that we don’t often talk about. Liberal arts degrees are often surrounded by the cliche that they teach you ‘how to think not what to think’. David said that we first need to decide what to think about, therefore not being taught about how or what to think.

Closed-mindedness drives arrogance and leads to wrong ideas or thoughts. We get to choose what we pay attention to or what to think about, but too much time inside our head is a bad thing. Over analysing things is one of the bad things about liberal arts degree or any kind of higher education, because it often leads to over-intellectualising and getting stuck in your thoughts.

 

BIG IDEA 2 (6:36) – Things look and feel different to everyone. 

We need to ask more questions around why. Why do things look and feel different to everyone? Why is our experience in life different from what other people think and other people’s experience of life? We should also explore where we get our meaning from – the experiences or stories that lead us to believe one things over another.

David talks about how we are the center of our own world, everything we’ve ever experienced has us at the centre. When we start putting our life in the center of everyone else’s life, it’s a problem. We need to free ourselves from the thought that we are the center of the actual universe, despite what our experience tells us. We have to have compassion for what other’s reality might be.

 

BIG IDEA 3 (8:15) – It’s within your power

You get to decide. We have to learn to choose what gets our attention and what has meaning to us. We need to choose what we worship, whether it’s power, intellect, beauty or money. These things drive our behaviour and we will never feel satisfied or like we have enough of them, especiall

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About the Book The Practice

Creative work doesn’t come with a guarantee. But there is a pattern to who succeeds and who doesn’t. And engaging in the consistent practice of its pursuit is the best way forward.

Based on the breakthrough Akimbo workshop pioneered by legendary author Seth Godin, The Practice will help you get unstuck and find the courage to make and share creative work. Godin insists that writer’s block is a myth, that consistency is far more important than authenticity, and that experiencing the imposter syndrome is a sign that you’re a well-adjusted human. Most of all, he shows you what it takes to turn your passion from a private distraction to a productive contribution, the one you’ve been seeking to share all along.

With this book as your guide, you’ll learn to dance with your fear. To take the risks worth taking. And to embrace the empathy required to make work that contributes with authenticity and joy.

Source: https://www.amazon.com/

Buy the book from The Book Depository - https://www.bookdepository.com/The-Practice/9780593328972/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf

Would you like to take better notes from the books you read?  Get your copy of Archley's beautiful book journal, the Book of Books here: https://www.archleys.com/?ref=JamVyS-U4mVR

 

About the Author

Seth Godin is the author of nineteen international bestsellers that have been translated into over 35 languages, and have changed the way people think about marketing and work. For a long time, Unleashing the Ideavirus was the most popular ebook ever published, and Purple Cow is the bestselling marketing book of the decade.

He’s a recent inductee to the Marketing Hall of Fame, and also a member of the Direct Marketing Hall of Fame and (go figure), the Guerrilla Marketing Hall of Fame.

In addition to his writing and speaking, Seth was founder and CEO of Squidoo.com,. His blog (find it by typing “seth” into Google) is the most popular marketing blog in the world. Before his work as a writer and blogger, Godin was Vice President of Direct Marketing at Yahoo!, a job he got after selling them his pioneering 1990s online startup, Yoyodyne.

 

LINKS

Previous Seth Godin books covered on the podcast

Seth on Tim Ferriss talking about The Practice https://tim.blog/2020/10/26/seth-godin-the-practice/ 

Seth on Tim Ferriss talking about how how he manages his life, rules, principles and obsessions: https://tim.blog/2016/02/10/seth-godin/ 

 

BIG IDEA 1 (6:02) – Build a practice.

Build a practice of your work, and practice it everyday with the mindset of a professional. Practice it even when you don’t know what the result will be. Success or good results are not guaranteed but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work towards it on a daily basis. We need to show up. 

Seth doesn’t believe in writer’s block. He believes that inspiration doesn’t show up unless we do. We have to turn up professionally, take things seriously on a daily basis, and that momentum and practice will avoid us feeling stuck. We need to start with a problem that we need to solve and then find out what the answer is. Without having an assertion or point of view we won’t do anything. 

By putting creative work out on a schedule, things like writer’s block don’t have time to exist, because we are showing up.

BIG IDEA 2 (8:16) – Don’t be a hack.

It’s not just about empathy or deeply knowing your customer but knowing WHO you’re even aiming to create value for. Because if you aim for the masses, you lose your point of view, your authenticity and quickly become a hack.

So you need to know what market you’re in. You need to have a voice. You need to constantly ask who it is you’re creating for, and what will help your work become more appropriate for your