Tomorrow is Not Today

Kingsley Colley

Talking about business, family, life, purpose and building habits to create the life you want. Deeply personal, emotive and powerful interviews with amazing people who have discovered and are living the REAL meaning of success. People who have the mindset of living a life that is bigger than them, creating a legacy and leaving the world in a better place.

  1. Why Good Girls Choose Abusers

    1 DAY AGO

    Why Good Girls Choose Abusers

    On the Tomorrow Is Not Today Podcast, Kingsley interviews Caroline Clarke, an ex-police officer and trauma therapist who works with women worldwide who sense something is wrong in their lives or relationships but lack language for it.  Clarke explains how early childhood (0–7) encodes a “blueprint” of people-pleasing and self-abandonment that can attract controlling partners, and shares vivid memories of protecting her mother during alcohol-fueled violence, creating hypervigilance and silence.  She describes how the body stores trauma, recounting a panic response en route to a knife-point hostage call that later connected to a forgotten childhood knife incident, and discusses fight/flight/freeze, breathing, shaking, and asking “How old am I?”  She outlines boundaries, red flags, emotional/coercive control, and rebuilding self-trust, plus her No More Silence foundation, her book Breaking the Good Girl Code, and her Miss Australia Legacy International mission. 00:00 Childhood Terror Memory 01:31 Meet Caroline Clark 02:44 Breaking the Good Girl Code 04:22 Blueprints From Early Years 06:46 Three Year Old Protector 11:03 Narcissistic Control And Survival 14:00 Body Keeps The Score 15:12 Police Panic And Flashback 19:27 Grounding In The Moment 21:30 Fight Flight Freeze Explained 24:25 Anger Triggers In Public 26:41 Deescalation And Trauma Roles 29:50 Bravery And Police Insights 33:06 Freeze Versus Fight Patterns 35:13 Fight or Freeze Patterns 36:01 Gender Roles and Conditioning 36:49 Breaking Relationship Blueprints 39:26 Her Story Emotional Abuse 40:54 Empty Fridge Analogy 43:09 Breadcrumb Cycles and Promises 47:59 Red Flags and Loneliness 50:48 Rebuilding Self Trust 52:44 Boundaries in Dating 56:51 Reparenting the Inner Child 59:05 Parenting Through Trauma 01:02:55 No More Silence Mission 01:05:50 Legacy and Where to Find Her

    1hr 9min
  2. She lost her daugher to s**cide. Here's how she survived

    3 MAY

    She lost her daugher to s**cide. Here's how she survived

    This episode of Tomorrows Not Today podcast, Eslana Lower, a Gold Coast nurse, midwife, mother, business owner, and author, shares the story of losing her 15-year-old daughter Riley to suicide on Nov 17, 2022, after Riley jumped from their 33rd-floor balcony while Eslana and Riley’s sisters were home.  Eslana found her and describes the aftermath, including trauma, anger, and learning to “say yes” to grief and life.  She explains how childhood abuse and neglect shaped her, how parenting taught her, and why vulnerability is strength, emphasising conscious communication to avoid shame.  Eslana discusses resilience “born of gratitude,” the danger of self-isolation, and the need for connection and specialised support. She describes factors behind Riley’s death, including Snapchat-based bullying and alleged grooming by an older supervisor, and shares how her surviving daughters are thriving, finding community through youth group and church.  She promotes her book, “Resilience After Great Loss: Learning to Live and Grieve Simultaneously,” and offers copies to those who can’t afford it. 00:00 Riley Lost 01:11 Podcast Welcome 02:14 Vulnerability Strength 03:32 Childhood Trauma 06:18 Raising Open Kids 09:05 Parenting Lessons 12:05 Midwife Mindset Work 14:58 Purpose After Loss 17:12 The Day She Died 19:25 Saying Yes to Grief 20:58 Not a Victim 26:10 Resilience and Gratitude 31:13 Choices in Darkness 37:51 Connection Over Isolation 41:47 Help Through Technology 43:02 Conscious Parenting Shift 46:12 Fear Fight Or Flight 49:21 Bullying Grooming Story 56:04 Grief Kindness Lessons 01:00:10 Thriving After Loss 01:10:32 Girls Find Community 01:17:03 Book Legacy Closing

    1hr 25min
  3. Success Was Killing Her Slowly

    26 APR

    Success Was Killing Her Slowly

    What happens when success leaves you empty, angry, and barely holding your marriage together? In this episode of Tomorrow's Not Today, host Kingsley Colley sits down with Mariana Lennert — Brazilian-born feminine leadership mentor, entrepreneur, and founder of Empower Her — now based in Australia after a life-changing move 19 years ago. Mariana opens up about leaving a law career that no longer aligned with her soul, navigating motherhood as a single mum in a foreign country, building multiple businesses — and still hitting rock bottom with depression, panic attacks, an eating disorder, and a marriage on the brink of collapse. This is a raw, honest conversation about what it really takes to heal, lead, and live with purpose. In this episode you'll discover: Why high-achieving women often mask deep pain behind outward successHow childhood safety patterns fuel control, resentment, and relationship breakdownThe LSD experience in Brazil that convinced Mariana she was "here for something"Why small, courageous actions — not giant leaps — create lasting transformationHow to follow signs, build intentional legacy, and lead from authentic powerListen now if you're ready to stop surviving and start leading. Timestamps: 00:00 Breakup and New Start 01:08 Meet Mariana Lennert 03:02 From Brazil to Australia 04:25 Law Career Wake Up 06:56 Learning English Fast 08:05 Motherhood and New Marriage 10:30 Success but Depressed 13:51 Control and Resentment 17:07 Childhood Roots of Control 21:43 Healing and Asking Help 25:26 Turning Pain into Purpose 28:20 Helping Women Change 31:16 Courage Over Fear 32:59 Start Small Actions 35:10 Brazil Family Breakdown 36:55 Highway Wake Up Call 40:29 Purpose After Survival 44:21 Small Kindness Big Impact 48:36 Saying Yes To Signs 51:05 Service Over Self Doubt 53:58 Legacy And Leadership 55:44 Connect And Next Steps 56:26 Final Thanks And Wrap

    57 min
  4. She Shouldn’t Be Here… But She Is

    19 APR

    She Shouldn’t Be Here… But She Is

    On the Tomorrow’s Not Today podcast, Kingsley interviews Sally Jones about her lived experience of child abuse, complex PTSD, addiction risks, and the ongoing work of healing, and how she turned that trauma into a child protection education program after 20 years as a teacher.  She describes gaps in school-based prevention, lack of repetition, unsustainable one-off visits, and outdated “stranger danger” messaging and argues kids need skills for real-life encounters with perpetrators, who may be family, peers, or anyone.  Grounded in attachment theory, her online, interactive program teaches grooming behaviours, boundaries, and self-trust by noticing body signals, and includes “champions” (trusted adults) plus an in-program “switch” that alerts a designated school contact to support mandatory reporting. The conversation also addresses adult recognition of abuse, trauma’s effects on relationships and emotional regulation, imposter syndrome, and seeking professional help and trusted support. 00:00 Trigger Warning and Reality 01:29 Podcast Welcome and Purpose 03:04 Why Schools Need Better Protection 04:57 Attachment Theory and Safety 06:21 Her Story Childhood Trauma 08:15 Nursing Forensics and PTSD 11:26 Choosing Change Drugs and Alcohol 15:12 Moving to Australia and Healing 16:55 Program Teaches Grooming and Boundaries 19:35 Champions and The Safety Switch 23:23 Trauma Informed Schools and Policy 24:37 Adults Healing and Recognition 28:03 Living With Trauma Daily 29:00 Trauma Never Leaves 30:55 Choosing Your Next Step 31:25 One Small Action Daily 32:05 Legacy And Overwhelm 33:26 Beating Imposter Syndrome 36:07 Trauma Informed Practice 37:40 Tenacity And Setbacks 39:25 Retraumatization And Memories 40:26 Reach Out For Help 44:20 Masking And Fear 49:13 Understanding And Body Memory 51:54 Create Life And Legacy

    53 min
  5. She Survived the Unspeakable

    11 APR

    She Survived the Unspeakable

    On the Tomorrow’s Not Today podcast, Kingsley interviews Kerrie Atherton—wife, mother, grandmother, jazz musician, mental health advocate, addiction counsellor, author, podcaster, board director with Mentoring Men Australia, and ambassador for Fearless PTSD—about how childhood trauma and addiction shaped her purpose. Kerrie describes growing up with alcoholism, bipolar disorder in her mother, early traumatic events, bullying by a teacher, sexual assault by a pedophile, later rape, substance misuse, suicidality, and a near-fatal overdose. At 18, after planning to end her life and hearing a voice telling her not to, she returned to Alcoholics Anonymous and has been sober for 44 years. She discusses acceptance, delusion/denial in addiction, “54” negative consequences across love, livelihood, liver, and law, and the need for families to detach without enabling. She founded Stories of Hope events, published three books featuring nearly 50 speakers, hosts Inspirational Humans, and offers coaching for burned-out leaders. 00:00 Abuse and Fear 01:12 Meet Kerry Atherton 02:31 Many Hats and Mission 04:49 Family Addiction Roots 08:02 Childhood Trauma Begins 10:05 Assault and No Justice 11:48 Bullying and Breakdown 12:50 Alcohol as Escape 17:10 Spiral Toward Rock Bottom 22:20 Turning Point to AA 25:25 Recovery and New Purpose 30:26 Acceptance and Practical Steps 32:07 Pain Drives Change 33:57 Rock Bottom Varies 34:22 The 54 Consequences 36:09 Four Ls Warning Signs 39:00 Delusion And Denial 40:21 High Functioning Secrets 43:13 Helping Loved Ones 44:27 Detach With Love 48:19 Tough Love Boundaries 52:17 Stories Of Hope Mission 56:40 Leaders Under Pressure 01:02:17 Programs And Resources 01:04:15 Redefining Success

    1hr 7min
  6. Prison should have ended me

    15 FEB

    Prison should have ended me

    On The Tomorrow Is Not Today podcast, Kingsley interviews his longtime friend Patrick, an Ohio-based husband, father of four, artist, pastor, and entrepreneur who has travelled widely doing prison outreach. Patrick recounts growing up in a broken home after his father left when he was about five, moving from Denver to inner-city Cleveland and into poverty, and later going to Colorado to find his father only to encounter severe abuse, alcoholism, drugs, and violence.  Feeling unseen, he lashed out and returned to Cleveland angrier, quickly entering crime and substance use. At 16 he was arrested on five counts of kidnapping, aggravated robbery with a gun, and a home invasion, facing a minimum of 45 years, and while incarcerated learned his brother Larry—who had not been in trouble—was stabbed to death; his best friend was stabbed in the heart and survived but remains blind and paralysed.  The killer avoided prison, had political connections, was given the knife back in court, and later became a police officer, prompting Patrick to plan revenge until he heard a voice in his cell telling him it would not honor his brother. Patrick describes choosing forgiveness—also forgiving himself—through an intense spiritual experience in solitary confinement and later through therapy focused on healing his inner child. He explains he avoided adult court after telling the judge the truth, accepting responsibility, and apologising to victims; the judge kept him in the juvenile system, reducing potential time to about four and a half years. In prison he pursued education and skills, then was released with a condition he return to Colorado, where he connected with a supportive church community (where he met Kingsley) that helped him rebuild his life. Patrick says his purpose is tied to his deepest wounds and describes creating businesses (coffee shops and construction) that employ only people coming out of prison or drug treatment, citing an 87% success rate and emphasising that many incarcerated people have unresolved childhood trauma.  He shares an example of “Big Al,” a large, institutionalised former violent offender who had never had a birthday celebrated; after Patrick and an Australian team threw him a surprise birthday and symbolically burned his prison items, Al’s life changed and he has not returned to prison or harmed anyone in over 10 years. The episode closes with Patrick’s guidance on legacy: recognise your inherent worth and the brevity of life, find what makes you feel alive, and use your gifts for something bigger than yourself that benefits others. 00:00 Wounded to Purpose: The Pain That Shaped My Calling 01:14 Welcome to the Podcast + Meet Patrick (Husband, Dad, Pastor, Entrepreneur) 03:14 Childhood in a Broken Home: Poverty, Identity, and Growing Up Unseen 06:54 Colorado Reality Check: Alcoholism, Abuse, and the Dream Dad That Wasn’t 09:18 Lashing Out for Attention: The Gun Incident and Fleeing Back to Cleveland 14:36 Street Life Spiral: Drugs, Violence, and the Arrest at 16 16:18 Tragedy Behind Bars: Brother’s Murder, Injustice, and the Pull of Revenge 19:05 The Turning Point: Hearing God, Choosing Fuel Over Fire, and Learning Forgiveness 25:06 Forgiving Yourself First: Grace, Therapy, and Healing the Inner Child 33:42 Redefining Success: Purpose, Legacy, and the ‘Hard Worker’ Funeral Warning 36:22 More Than Nice Stuff: Legacy, Purpose & Serving Others 38:54 How Patrick Got Out Early: Owning the Truth in Court 41:38 Prison as a Training Ground: Turning Pain Into Growth 42:37 Back to Colorado: Doubters, Fresh Start & Finding Community 47:56 The Power of Presence: Hospitality That Changes Lives 50:35 Purpose From Pain: Building Second-Chance Businesses 53:51 Big Al’s Story: Being Seen for the First Time 01:04:31 Final Takeaways: Worth, Brevity of Life & Living Without Regret

    1hr 8min

About

Talking about business, family, life, purpose and building habits to create the life you want. Deeply personal, emotive and powerful interviews with amazing people who have discovered and are living the REAL meaning of success. People who have the mindset of living a life that is bigger than them, creating a legacy and leaving the world in a better place.

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