How We Really Feel

Dr Sula
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  • MEDICINE

How We Really Feel is the podcast that takes an honest, evidence-based look at what it means to live in a body, especially when that body is doing something no test has fully explained, no appointment has had time to address, or no one has joined the dots on yet. Hosted by Dr Sula Windgassen, PhD, health psychologist, researcher, author of It's All In Your Body and specialist in chronic illness, burnout and the mind-body connection. Each episode brings together leading clinicians, researchers and people with deep lived experience to examine the whole picture: biological, psychological and social. Guests are chosen for their years of peer-reviewed research, frontline clinical practice or a rich lived experience of illness, injury and healing. Every episode is fact-checked by Dr Sula and the show researcher, a trainee health psychologist and PhD student. All studies and resources referenced are listed at howwereallyfeel.com so you can read further, question it and make it your own. Series one explores pelvic and bladder health. One of the least explored areas of health, especially from a holistic and integrated approach that incorporates mind and body and the human at the heart of symptoms. Episodes cover chronic UTI, bladder pain syndrome, the nervous system, pelvic pain, sex and intimacy after illness, and what it means to befriend a body that has fundamentally changed. Between guest episodes, Dr Sula shares her own therapeutic reflections: what stood out, what the evidence means in practice, and what might be worth sitting with or trying. How We Really Feel is for you if:  You're curious about how our biology, psychology and lived experience are woven together and what that means for how we healYou're a urologist, pelvic health physiotherapist, GP, health psychologist, gynaecologist or clinician with an interest in holistic, integrated and evidence-based careYou've ever felt like medicine ran out of answers before you did You're navigating bladder pain, pelvic pain, chronic UTIs, chronic illness or burnout and want to understand what's really going on beneath the surface New guest episodes released weekly on Mondays and reflective summary episodes with Dr Sula Windgassen on Thursdays. All resources at howwereallyfeel.com

Episodes

  1. 3 HRS AGO

    The Dark Place Between My Legs: Sex, Intimacy, and Illness

    When your body becomes something to manage rather than something to inhabit, intimacy tends to quietly disappear. Not all at once, but slowly, in the gaps where no one asks and you don't quite have the language to bring it up yourself. In this episode of How We Really Feel, Dr Sula Windgassen is joined by two of the most experienced psychosexual therapists working in the UK today: Kate Moyle, psychosexual therapist, author of The Science of Sex, host of The Sexual Wellness Sessions podcast, and regular BBC contributor  Lorraine Grover, nurse and psychosexual therapist with over two decades of specialist experience, with a particular focus on sexual wellbeing in the context of illness, including prostate cancer and bladder conditions. Together, they open up a conversation that is long overdue exploring the difference between sex and intimacy, why the healthcare system so rarely addresses either, and why the absence of that conversation does more damage than people realise. You'll come away understanding: Why your brain will always prioritise anxiety over arousal and what that means for intimacy when health is difficultHow social messages about what sex "should" look like quietly shape our ability to enjoy itWhat psychosexual therapy actually involves (it's far less daunting than you think)Why intimacy and sex are not the same thing  and why distinguishing them matters, especially when illness changes what's physically possibleThe practical tools Lorraine keeps in her toolbox and why they work This episode is relevant whether or not you identify as having sexual difficulties. Because the way we relate to sex is shaped long before illness enters the picture and understanding that is where the shift begins. Supported by Convatec Continence Care and the Me+ free emotional wellbeing support programme for intermittent catheter users. 🎙️ How We Really Feel is hosted by Dr Sula Windgassen, health psychologist, specialist psychotherapist and author of It's All In Your Body. Each episode explores the biology and humanity behind the mind-body connection for people navigating chronic illness, bladder and pelvic conditions, burnout and trauma and the clinicians who support them. This episode is supported by Convatec Continence Care and their Me+ Emotional Wellbeing programme - free holistic emotional wellbeing support for intermittent catheter users. 💙 Visit www.howwereallyfeel.com/in-partnership-with-convatec to access the Me+ Continence Care resources. More from: Lorraine Grover - https://lorrainegrover.com/ Kate Moyle - https://www.katemoyle.co.uk/ 📚 Show notes and additional resources: 👉 www.howwereallyfeel.com 📱 Instagram.com/the_health_psychologist_ Dr Sula Windgassen is author of It's All In Your Body 👉 https://amzn.eu/d/0c2J0j18

    1hr 18min

  2. 3 DAYS AGO ·  BONUS

    My Reflections on the Bladder, the Brain and Learning Pain following Episode 2

    Why do bladder symptoms keep going even after an infection has cleared? Why does pelvic pain change, shift and evolve, sometimes feeling like a UTI, sometimes not, but never quite going away? And if your tests are coming back normal, does that mean the pain isn't real? These are the questions Dr Sula Windgassen sits with in this solo reflection following her conversation with Professor of Urology Elise De and specialist pelvic health physiotherapist Jilly Bond. The line that stayed with her most: just because you've had pain for a decade doesn't mean you'll have it for another. Sula unpacks why that particularly resonated for her and why, for many people living with long-term bladder or pelvic symptoms, the brain has already stopped being able to imagine it being any other way. That's not a personal failing. It's exactly how a prediction-making nervous system is supposed to work. And recognising it is the first step to something shifting. This reflection also explores why internal pain is so hard to locate and describe and what that means for anyone who has ever struggled to explain their symptoms or felt dismissed because they couldn't quite articulate what was wrong. Sula draws on her own experience of repeated UTIs evolving into something harder to name, the way psychological threat layers onto physical symptoms, and why understanding the mechanism behind your pain - even without being able to fix everything that caused it - can genuinely open things up. She also points to Professor Elise De's comprehensive history-taking form from the episode as a practical tool worth exploring, with a gentle note for anyone who finds it overwhelming: you don't have to tackle everything at once. Honest. Personal. And quietly hopeful. This podcast is supported by Convatec Continence Care and their Me+ Emotional Wellbeing programme. Free holistic emotional wellbeing support for intermittent catheter users. Visit convatec.com to access the Me+ Continence Care resources. 📚 Show notes and resources from Episode 2: 👉 https://www.howwereallyfeel.com/episode-two-bladder-brain-connection 📩 Mind Body Science weekly emails : www.healthpsychologist.co.uk/subscribe 📱 Instagram: @the_health_psychologist_ 🎧 Full Episode 2- Breaking the Seal: The Bladder, Pelvic Floor and Brain Connection: 👉 https://pod.link/1895564493/episode/ZTJmYWY3NjMtYjIxZC00NzNhLWI1OTEtOWQ3MWE4OWU4NjY4?view=apps&sort=popularity  Dr Sula Windgassen is author of It's All In Your Body 👉 https://amzn.eu/d/0c2J0j18

    17 min

  3. 3 MAY

    Breaking the Seal: The Bladder, Pelvic Floor and Brain Connection

    Your bladder doesn't work alone. It never did. It's in constant conversation with your pelvic floor, your autonomic nervous system and your brain. When that conversation becomes dysregulated, the mind body connection in pelvic pain becomes impossible to ignore, and surprisingly hard to treat without understanding it. In this episode Dr Sula goes deeper into the science of pelvic and bladder symptoms with two specialists who between them hold an unusually complete picture: Jilly Bond, specialist pelvic health physiotherapist, Masters-qualified in pelvic pain, currently completing her PhD exploring sensorimotor distortions in women with persistent pelvic pain, and a recognised voice in pelvic health education internationally. And Dr Elise De, Professor of Urology, OBGYN and Neurology at Albany Medical Center, world authority on pelvic pain and neuro-urology, and author of clinical guidelines for the American Urological Association. This conversation moves into territory that Episode 1 opened the door to and walks through it. If you've ever wondered why symptoms persist even when tests are clear, why pain seems to travel and shift around the pelvis, or why stress and pelvic symptoms seem so frustratingly intertwined, this episode builds the picture piece by piece. The bladder-brain connection unpacked. How your autonomic nervous system drives overactive bladder symptoms, pelvic floor tension and chronic pelvic pain, and why treating the bladder alone often isn't enoughWhen the pelvis becomes a whole-system problem. The science of organ crosstalk, central sensitisation and why pelvic pain that has spread beyond one area needs a different treatment approachFinding your way through a complex system: Practical, honest guidance on advocating for yourself in healthcare settings where pelvic pain is still frequently misunderstood, and what genuinely good multidisciplinary care looks like Whether you're years into a diagnosis, still searching for answers, or a clinician wanting to understand the fuller picture of what your patients are experiencing, this episode offers real clarity on one of the most under-explored areas of women's bladder health. Even long-standing pelvic pain and bladder dysfunction can improve. As Dr Elise De says: “Just because you've had pain for a decade doesn't mean you'll have it for another"  You can find references and resources mentioned in this podcast here. You can follow Dr Sula Windgassen here https://www.instagram.com/the_health_psychologist_ 📖 Show notes & resources: https://www.howwereallyfeel.com/episode-two 📩 Newsletter: www.healthpsychologist.co.uk/subscribe 🔗 Jilly Bond: https://www.jillybond.com/ 🔗 Dr Elise De - Facing Pelvic Pain: https://www.facingpelvicpain.org/

    1hr 49min

  4. 30 APR ·  BONUS

    My reflections on bladder, stress and the mind body connection following episode 1

    This is a short solo reflection from Dr Sula Windgassen on what stayed with her after the first episode of How We Really Feel in conversation with consultant urologist Sachin Malde and pelvic health physiotherapist Clare Bourne about bladder symptoms, recurrent urinary tract infections and the mind body connection in chronic illness. 💡 IN THIS REFLECTION: ✅ Why hope itself can feel threatening and why learning to tolerate that uncertainty is one of the most important things you can do on a chronic illness journey✅ Why a negative UTI test is not the end of the road. How curiosity, self-advocacy and perseverance can open up options that a tick-box system never will✅ Why your reported symptoms are often the most reliable measure of what's going on and what it means to hear a consultant urologist say that out loud✅ The psychobiological loop:  How feeling unwell feeds uncertainty, which feeds physiological stress, which feeds symptoms  and how recognising it can help break it✅ How bodily self-trust erodes when you've been dismissed and what rebuilding it actually looks like in practice✅ Why a pelvic health physiotherapist might prescribe pleasure, connection and friendship alongside physical rehabilitation  🎙️ DR SULA ALSO REFLECTS ON: Her own understanding of multi-sensory integration: How the brain combines physical signals with memories, knowledge and social messages to determine what you're feeling. Why being dismissed by the healthcare system doesn't just affect your confidence but your symptom experience itself. If you haven't yet listened to the full episode 'I Can Feel It In My Waters: Bladder Symptoms, Stress and Chronic UTI' this reflection works as a companion to it and you can listen to it here. 📩 Sign up for founding member perks https://www.healthpsychologist.co.uk/howwereallyfeelpodcast 📱 Instagram.com/the_health_psychologist_

    13 min

  5. 26 APR

    I can feel it in my waters: Bladder symptoms, stress and chronic urinary tract infections

    If you've ever been told your tests are normal but you know something isn't right, this episode is for you. Dr Sula is joined by Sachin Malde, Consultant Urologist specialising in bladder pain, chronic UTIs and incontinence, and Clare Bourne, specialist pelvic health physiotherapist, author of Strong Foundations and expert in complex pelvic presentations. Two of the most thoughtful clinicians working in this space. Together, they unpick why recurrent urinary tract infections are so commonly missed, misunderstood and mismanaged and what's actually going on in your body when symptoms refuse to budge. Dr Sula shares her own experience of unexplained bladder symptoms that spiralled during a period of major life stress, exploring the role of the mind body connection and clarifying why these very real psychobiological processes doesn’t mean symptoms are all in your head.  Here's some of what you'll take away: Why a negative test doesn't mean nothing is wrong: Understanding the real limitations of dipstick testing and why your symptoms deserve a closer lookHow your nervous system keeps the pain going. The science behind why what started your UTI might not be what's maintaining it, and what pelvic health physiotherapy can do about itSmall habits with a big impact. Practical, low-pressure shifts in how you drink, move and think about your bladder that can genuinely make a difference Whether you're navigating chronic bladder symptoms yourself, supporting someone who is, or working clinically with people in pelvic pain, this episode will help you feel less alone, better informed, and clearer on what to do next. For more Sachin & Clare: Sachin Malde https://www.londonurologist.net/ LinkedIN https://www.linkedin.com/in/sachin-malde-a3a35530/ Clare Bourne https://www.clare-bourne.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/clarebournephysio Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@clarebournephysio You can access references and resources discussed in this episode, fact checked and collated afterwards by our show researcher and trainee health psychologist here https://www.howwereallyfeel.com/episode-one

    1hr 18min
  • 5 Episodes

About

How We Really Feel is the podcast that takes an honest, evidence-based look at what it means to live in a body, especially when that body is doing something no test has fully explained, no appointment has had time to address, or no one has joined the dots on yet. Hosted by Dr Sula Windgassen, PhD, health psychologist, researcher, author of It's All In Your Body and specialist in chronic illness, burnout and the mind-body connection. Each episode brings together leading clinicians, researchers and people with deep lived experience to examine the whole picture: biological, psychological and social. Guests are chosen for their years of peer-reviewed research, frontline clinical practice or a rich lived experience of illness, injury and healing. Every episode is fact-checked by Dr Sula and the show researcher, a trainee health psychologist and PhD student. All studies and resources referenced are listed at howwereallyfeel.com so you can read further, question it and make it your own. Series one explores pelvic and bladder health. One of the least explored areas of health, especially from a holistic and integrated approach that incorporates mind and body and the human at the heart of symptoms. Episodes cover chronic UTI, bladder pain syndrome, the nervous system, pelvic pain, sex and intimacy after illness, and what it means to befriend a body that has fundamentally changed. Between guest episodes, Dr Sula shares her own therapeutic reflections: what stood out, what the evidence means in practice, and what might be worth sitting with or trying. How We Really Feel is for you if:  You're curious about how our biology, psychology and lived experience are woven together and what that means for how we healYou're a urologist, pelvic health physiotherapist, GP, health psychologist, gynaecologist or clinician with an interest in holistic, integrated and evidence-based careYou've ever felt like medicine ran out of answers before you did You're navigating bladder pain, pelvic pain, chronic UTIs, chronic illness or burnout and want to understand what's really going on beneath the surface New guest episodes released weekly on Mondays and reflective summary episodes with Dr Sula Windgassen on Thursdays. All resources at howwereallyfeel.com

Information

  • Creator
    Dr Sula
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    5
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Dr Sula

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