Judgment, Not Judgmental | Parenting Tools + Conversations That Support Moms in Raising Their Family... Their Way

Rachel Lefebvre & Rosie Whinnery
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Shamey parenting energy is not welcome here. Judgment, Not Judgmental is the podcast for moms who know what they're doing and still — very much — lose it. Not solely venting, and not solely expert advice. More like if those two had a baby? It’s two parents choosing curiosity over criticism, celebrating what’s working, laughing through what’s not, and giving you something small and usable you can actually try this week (because yes… we do know what we’re talking about). Hosted by Rachel — parenting strategist from the child welfare world with an MSW and girl mom of two — and Rosie — PA with a psych background and boy mom of two — it’s the show where two best friends talk about all the things happening in their homes, their heads, and their hearts… without pretending to have it all figured out. We believe in judgment — the kind you use to make decisions, set boundaries, and protect your peace. Moms need that. Kids need that. And we’re human — of course we have opinions. What we don’t do is judgmental — the shamey, side-eye, mean-girl-higher-than-thou energy. We know everyone has a different take on feeding, sleeping, working, discipline, meltdowns, screen time, childcare — all of it. It's fine. But we’re also not here to co-sign every parenting moment just because it was hard. If something is coming at your kid’s expense, we’re gonna talk about it. Not to call you out — but because YOU don’t feel good stuck in that place, and neither do they. You can lose it sometimes, but you don’t have to live there. Each episode feels like the thing you wish you had time for: getting out of the house, sitting across from your friend, unloading, re-thinking, and re-entering your day feeling better. Except you don’t have to plan childcare or put on real pants. Let this be the version of friend time that acts like a shot of caffeine, when what you really need is sleep. We get into: → The why behind the hard moments — your kids, your partner, your reactions → The pressure and opinions moms are drowning in, → The tiny, emotionally intelligent shifts that make the day feel lighter. If you know what you're doing, you’re losing it anyway, and you’re just trying to love parenting as much as you’re meant to — so are we. Pull up a chair. We saved you a seat.

Episodes

  1. What to Say Instead of “What’s Wrong?”, Moving with Toddlers & The Tangents from Hiatus

    5 MAY

    What to Say Instead of “What’s Wrong?”, Moving with Toddlers & The Tangents from Hiatus

    Rachel and Rosie come back from a hiatus with moving chaos, flooded basements, tornado warnings, and a moment that ends in a dog bed surrounded by two giant dogs wondering why everyone needs to touch you at the exact same time—plus about twenty tangents (including literal math) that somehow still end up looping back around?? 🔍 WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IN THIS EPISODE → packing up your entire house while still living in it with kids, animals, and zero personal space → a toddler melting down over sleeves… that turns out to be about wanting her sister → “I don’t like where you put my bed” and what that actually means during a move → the moment everything stacks—noise, touch, questions—and you hit your limit → sitting in a dog bed because it’s the only place no one else is → why asking “what’s wrong?” usually gets you nowhere in a meltdown → what happens when you stop asking questions and just say what you think is going on → how fast a small moment turns into snapping at your partner when you’re already overwhelmed Nothing is technically *wrong* it’s just *a lot *. It’s: - transitions - noise - competing needs - you’re overstimulated af - and toddlers trying to communicate things they don’t fully understand yet This episode helps you slow it down just enough to see: what’s is the behavior GIVING the person? that’s not negotiable — but how it happens is. That’s how you respond in a way that supports your child’s emotional regulation **and** your own. 🔥 TAKEAWAYS - A toddler tantrum is usually not about the thing they’re upset about—it’s often about a transition, a change, or something that didn’t match their expectation - When everything feels overwhelming (for you), it’s usually overstimulation—not just “too many things,” but not having space to process any of it - Naming what you think is happening (“you wanted your sister,” “you didn’t like your room changing”) works better than asking questions in the middle of a meltdown - Trying to fix or redirect too quickly can actually make emotional regulation harder—for both of you - A lot of parenting moments aren’t behavior problems—they’re communication problems happening in real time 🔗 LINKS & MENTIONS - The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld - Dolly Parton Imagination Library (imaginationlibrary.com) 🤍 CONNECT WITH US Instagram: → @judgment_not_judgmental → @regulatingwithrachel If this episode felt like your life: Send it to the friend you voice note when everything feels like too much. Or DM us. We’re really glad you’re here.

    44 min
  2. “I Did the Hard Thing Because I’m a Parent”: One Last Thing vs. A 46-Minute Bath

    18 MAR

    “I Did the Hard Thing Because I’m a Parent”: One Last Thing vs. A 46-Minute Bath

    Rachel and Rosie record this episode for the third time at 9:36pm. They talk about kids who take choking hazards very seriously, getting stuck in the kitchen with three animals and a baby grabbing your pants, and the audacity of being interrupted mid-thought.   🔗 LINKS & MENTIONS → Rachel’s Instagram: @regulatingwithrachel  → January 9th post: “One Last Thing” concept  → Allegra Cohen – Micro Joy Algorithm TED Talk  → What To Do With Your Baby Every Day by Rachel Lefebvre     → Paperback on Amazon     → PDF + ASL posters   🤍 CONNECT WITH US → Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental If this episode felt like a conversation you got *anything* from at all:     → Share it with a friend who’s in the thick of toddler (or big kid… or grown up?) transition troubles     → Send us a DM with your “one last thing” wins (first try or 14th)     → Leave a review so we can keep having more of these conversations We’re really building this with you, not just for you.

    57 min
  3. “I Feel Like Nobody Is Taking Care of Me”: Disney World & The Mom Olympics

    24 FEB

    “I Feel Like Nobody Is Taking Care of Me”: Disney World & The Mom Olympics

    This episode starts as a Disney vacation recap and turns into a conversation about recalibrating expectations, repairing with your kids, saying yes on purpose, and the Olympic-level skills moms use every single day without getting a medal for any of it.   What We’re Talking About in This Episode → what happens when your princess kid doesn’t like the princesses → “just take a picture” → the difference between your expectations and their experience → a 3-year-old saying, “I feel like nobody is taking care of me right now” → what it looks like when emotional regulation actually works in a chaotic environment → the skill of letting fun win → the art of the pivot → how “losing it” doesn’t always look like yelling → and the invisible Olympic sports moms are competing in daily This episode is really about what happens when reality doesn’t match the picture in your head — whether that’s a vacation, a grocery run, a playdate, or a random Tuesday when everyone’s sick.   🏅 Let Us Brag: What’s one mom thing you do that deserves an Olympic gold medal? The answers did not disappoint.   Links & Mentions His & Hers (Netflix) The Traitors The Lincoln Lawyer The Olympics (obviously) Duolingo   Connect With Us Podcast: Judgment, Not Judgmental Instagram (Podcast): @judgment_not_judgmental Rachel: @regulatingwithrachel → PLUS: What To Do With Your Baby Every Day book by Rachel Lefebvre   DM us your gold-medal mom skill. We’re collecting them.   If this episode made you laugh or feel seen, subscribe and leave a review on Apple or Spotify — it genuinely helps more parents find the show. We’re really glad you’re here.

    52 min
  4. Showing Up for Your Kids Without Ignoring What’s on Your Heart

    2 FEB

    Showing Up for Your Kids Without Ignoring What’s on Your Heart

    In this episode, we talk about what it actually looks like to parent when the world feels like it’s on fire — not in theory, but in real time. We talk about the mental tug-of-war between staying informed and staying functional. About trying to show up for our kids while our brains are half somewhere else. About why “just ignoring it” doesn’t work — and why living in constant doom doesn’t either. This conversation goes the usual way — oscillating between grief, anger, fear, and empathy — and then we talk about cleaning sprays, screen time, sourdough, Disney movies, and honey toast. Not because those things fix anything, but because they’re part of how we keep going.   We share what’s helping us regulate *right now*: – Finding anchors when our nervous systems are shot – Letting routines bend without breaking – Using stories, movies, and nostalgia to talk about big ideas with little kids – Why it’s okay for kids to see our emotions — and where the line actually is – How partners often regulate differently, and why that can be a strength – The difference between using tools (screens, routines, distractions) versus relying on them – Why advocacy, care, and “doing something” don’t look the same for everyone   This isn’t about having the perfect response to hard things. It’s about finding reliable ways to stay connected to yourself, your kids, and your values — even when the conditions change. If you’ve been feeling half-present, emotionally fried, or unsure how to hold all of this *and* still parent — this episode is for you.   📣 Stay Connected Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental Rachel: @regulatingwithrachel If your mind went off into a million directions here like ours did with this conversation please join the convo, subscribe and leave a review — it helps us keep building this space, and helps the show get better. Xo, chat next time!

    44 min
  5. Puss in Boots Explains How to Achieve Parenting Goals Better Than Most Experts

    15 JAN

    Puss in Boots Explains How to Achieve Parenting Goals Better Than Most Experts

    Rachel turns parenting goals into a Shrek-universe map and makes Rosie answer uncomfortable (but useful) questions (down below! ↓) about why it doesn’t feel like a straightforward field of flowers right now. This episode is about auditing your parenting terrain without turning it into a boring, clinical mess—and why the goal isn’t “no obstacles,” it’s fewer emotional threats at once. If getting on track with your goals feels harder to navigate than it should, this will help you see why.   The big idea: You can’t make a meaningful change if you don’t know what you’re working with first. And when feelings and fears have less control over the map, the terrain gets easier.   The Map Questions We Use in the Episode: → “Who do you want on your team, and who is competing for their own wish and making it harder to get to yours?” → “If you had to describe your map in one word right now, what would it be?” → “When does your map start to feel harder to navigate?” → “Where does your map actually feel easiest right now?” And the question that ties it all together: → “Why do you think your map looks the way it does right now?”
(Season of life, sleep, support, expectations, energy, transitions.)   The Actual Takeaway You don’t need a new goal. You need a clearer map. When fear, pressure, or old expectations stop running the terrain, movement gets easier—even if nothing changes overnight.   📣 Stay Connected DM us your “map” — words, visuals, voice notes, all of it. We love seeing how this lands. Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental Rachel: @regulatingwithrachel   And if this episode helped you think differently, subscribe and leave a review. It helps us keep building this space — and helps the show get better. Xo, chat next time!

    57 min
  6. 7 Questions to Turn Holiday Exhaustion Into Momentum for YOUR Family in the New Year

    6 JAN

    7 Questions to Turn Holiday Exhaustion Into Momentum for YOUR Family in the New Year

    The holidays leave a lot of information behind — if we don’t ignore it.   In this episode, we talk through 7 questions we ask after the chaos settles to figure out what actually worked for our family… and what we don’t want to carry forward next time. Not to overanalyze — but to make things easier the next go around. Think of it like this: the exhaustion is data. And if we use it before it fades, it can shape better traditions, clearer expectations, and fewer “why do we do this every year?” moments.   If you’re in that post-holiday fog but feel like there’s something worth keeping (or changing), this one’s for you.   📣 Connect With Us Rachel on Instagram: @regulatingwithrachel Podcast Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental If this episode resonated, subscribe and leave a review — it helps more moms find the show and helps us keep making it better. We’re really glad you’re here.

    58 min
  7. Bonding with Mom Friends Without Making It Weird (Especially If You Don’t Know Where to Start)

    17/12/2025

    Bonding with Mom Friends Without Making It Weird (Especially If You Don’t Know Where to Start)

    In this episode, we talk about something that comes up all the time in our DMs and real-life conversations: mom friends. How to find them, why they matter so much, and why it can feel surprisingly vulnerable (and awkward) to even try. This conversation goes exactly where real mom conversations go — a little all over the place. We talk about library story hours, swim lessons, group chats that quietly change your postpartum experience, and the friendships that don’t look like a “group” but still end up being everything you need in a season. We also talk honestly about how weird it can feel to put yourself out there as an adult, how becoming a mom shifts the way you think about friendship, and why not every mom friend has to be your best friend to still matter. If you’ve ever left an interaction thinking, “That felt really nice… should I have asked for her number?” — this episode is for you.   ✨ What We End Up Talking About → Why making mom friends feels more vulnerable than we expected → What “finding your mom group” actually looks like in real life (and why it’s usually not one tight circle) → How everyday places — story hour, swim lessons, school pickup — become connection points → Why texts can be lifesaving, even if you never hang out in person → Having different friends for different needs (and letting that be okay) → Getting past the awkward “are we friends now?” moment → Differences in risk tolerance, judgment, and letting kids be kids when moms get together   🧠 The Thing We Keep Coming Back To: You don’t need more friends.
 You need connection that fits the season you’re in. Some mom friends are for advice.
Some are for venting.
Some are for sending pictures at 2am.
 Some are just for a really good conversation once a week. And a lot of the time, it starts smaller and simpler than we think. 💛 A Gentle Reminder: You’re not bad at making friends. And you don’t have to wait until you find the “perfect” group to feel less alone. Sometimes it really does start with:
“How old is yours?”   📣 Connect With Us Rachel on Instagram: @regulatingwithrachel The podcast on Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental   If this episode resonated, subscribe and leave a review — it helps more moms find the show and helps us keep making it better. We’re really glad you’re here!!!

    52 min
  8. The Mental Load of the Holidays & The Big "Should We Have More Kids?" Conversation

    09/12/2025

    The Mental Load of the Holidays & The Big "Should We Have More Kids?" Conversation

    Welcome to the very first episode of Judgment, Not Judgmental — the candid podcast where Rosie and Rachel talk about the things moms usually only talk about in the comfort of their best friend’s presence.   In this debut conversation, your hosts dive straight into the two biggest themes dominating their lives right now: → the invisible mental load of the holidays and → the emotional, complicated “Should we have more kids?” conversation. They also open up about postpartum experiences, spiritual dreams that shaped their pregnancies, and navigating family gatherings with toddlers and babies. Grab a warm drink (and possibly a snack hidden from your kids) and settle in for an honest, comforting girl chat.   The TL;DR: → The invisible mental load moms carry during the holidays → How pregnancy dreams and spiritual moments influenced their families → Postpartum preeclampsia and healing from difficult pregnancies → The pressure — internal and external — around having more kids → Traveling and hosting during the holidays with little ones → Managing expectations with partners before family gatherings → Why their friendship is a safe, grounding space in motherhood   Episode Highlights → Rachel’s vivid dreams that seemed to predict the births of all her children → A psychic reading that said she’d have four kids (!?) → Rosie’s experience with postpartum preeclampsia and recovery → Honest reflection on wanting more kids… and honestly, not knowing → Their go-to communication trick that keeps holiday chaos manageable   We’ll Never Leave You Without A Use-Today Nugget: Before any holiday gathering:
check in with your partner in the car on the way there. Anything you already know is likely to go awry... make sure one of you isn't "it is what it is" while the other is... the opposite. Clarify expectations, roles, and what your kids might need — it prevents stress and keeps you a united team.   📣 Connect With Us You’re part of this trio—so we want to hear YOUR takes. → Are you ready for the holiday mental load? Been unsure about having more kids? Tell us about your pregnancy dreams.   SAY HI to Rachel on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/regulatingwithrachel/ Email us → judgementnotjudgemental@gmail.com   If this episode resonated with you, hit subscribe and leave a review — it helps more moms find the show and helps us keep getting better for you. 💛

    33 min
  • 8 Episodes

About

Shamey parenting energy is not welcome here. Judgment, Not Judgmental is the podcast for moms who know what they're doing and still — very much — lose it. Not solely venting, and not solely expert advice. More like if those two had a baby? It’s two parents choosing curiosity over criticism, celebrating what’s working, laughing through what’s not, and giving you something small and usable you can actually try this week (because yes… we do know what we’re talking about). Hosted by Rachel — parenting strategist from the child welfare world with an MSW and girl mom of two — and Rosie — PA with a psych background and boy mom of two — it’s the show where two best friends talk about all the things happening in their homes, their heads, and their hearts… without pretending to have it all figured out. We believe in judgment — the kind you use to make decisions, set boundaries, and protect your peace. Moms need that. Kids need that. And we’re human — of course we have opinions. What we don’t do is judgmental — the shamey, side-eye, mean-girl-higher-than-thou energy. We know everyone has a different take on feeding, sleeping, working, discipline, meltdowns, screen time, childcare — all of it. It's fine. But we’re also not here to co-sign every parenting moment just because it was hard. If something is coming at your kid’s expense, we’re gonna talk about it. Not to call you out — but because YOU don’t feel good stuck in that place, and neither do they. You can lose it sometimes, but you don’t have to live there. Each episode feels like the thing you wish you had time for: getting out of the house, sitting across from your friend, unloading, re-thinking, and re-entering your day feeling better. Except you don’t have to plan childcare or put on real pants. Let this be the version of friend time that acts like a shot of caffeine, when what you really need is sleep. We get into: → The why behind the hard moments — your kids, your partner, your reactions → The pressure and opinions moms are drowning in, → The tiny, emotionally intelligent shifts that make the day feel lighter. If you know what you're doing, you’re losing it anyway, and you’re just trying to love parenting as much as you’re meant to — so are we. Pull up a chair. We saved you a seat.

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