In this episode of Men Like Me, Dan sits down with Dr Mike Rosebush for a deeply personal conversation about sexuality, faith, secrecy, identity, and what it was like to spend decades inside conservative Christianity while privately coming to terms with being gay. Mike shares his journey from Air Force commander and Vice President of Focus on the Family in the United States to eventually coming out later in life after the death of his wife of 41 years. He speaks openly about living in a mixed-orientation marriage, the fear of rejection, the pressure to suppress his sexuality, and the internal split that developed between his public life and his private reality. This conversation explores the emotional cost of hiding, the experience of depression and suicidal thinking, the impact of conversion therapy, and the deep loneliness many closeted men experience — particularly within religious environments where honesty can feel unsafe. Mike also reflects on his changing beliefs around Christianity, his movement toward a more progressive faith, the tension this created within his family and career, and the process of rebuilding his life in his 60s. Along the way, the conversation touches on masculinity, shame, marriage, belonging, love, and the universal human longing to be accepted as we are. This is not a debate episode or a culture war conversation. It’s a deeply human discussion about identity, secrecy, spirituality, and what happens to men when they feel unable to speak honestly about their inner lives. Chapters 00:00 – Introducing Dr Mike Rosebush00:43 – Marriage, Family, and Realising He Was Gay01:51 – Telling His Wife03:16 – Being a Gay Christian05:00 – Discovering His Sexuality in the Air Force07:41 – Focus on the Family and Living Closeted08:42 – The First Time He Told Another Person10:16 – Coming Out at Focus on the Family11:25 – Becoming a Counselling Psychologist13:02 – Working with Closeted Gay Christian Men14:21 – Conversion Therapy and Shame16:37 – Living a Double Life17:05 – Depression and Suicidal Thoughts18:12 – His Wife’s Cancer and Death19:33 – Coming Out Publicly Later in Life20:04 – Family Reactions and Acceptance21:04 – Moving Toward Progressive Christianity22:06 – Meeting His Husband24:38 – Marriage and Finding Love Again25:07 – What He Would Say to Other Men26:53 – Final Reflections Keywords gay Christian, conservative Christianity, Focus on the Family, sexuality, masculinity, identity, shame, secrecy, mixed-orientation marriage, depression, conversion therapy, men’s mental health, spirituality, progressive Christianity, emotional honesty, relationships, suicide, healing, belonging, transformation Get full access to The Centre for Men & Families at cfmf.substack.com/subscribe
