Pondoff's Anonymous

Chris Pondoff, Zoë Mendenall

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Pondoff’s Anonymous is the unfiltered recovery podcast that says the quiet part out loud. Hosted by Chris Pondoff and Zoë Mendenall, it’s real talk about addiction, recovery, and everything between. Each episode dives into relapse, trauma, shame, and the hard f*cking work of getting better. Honest, raw, and laced with gallows humor, because sometimes the only way through pain is to laugh at it.

6 days ago

Pondoff's Anonymous Season 3 Episode 27: "I'm Gonna Hurt You Before You Hurt Me" with Michael Fowler

Michael Fowler joins Pondoff’s Anonymous to tell a story that starts with childhood trauma, addiction and years of keeping people at arm’s length and eventually leads him into treatment, recovery and a career helping other people find their own way out.Michael opens up about experiencing trauma at a young age and how it helped build the walls he carried into adulthood. In treatment, sharing that part of his story led another man to reveal something he had never told anyone before. That moment gave Michael his first glimpse of something bigger: maybe the parts of his life he had spent hiding could actually be used to help somebody else.He talks candidly about alcoholism, drugs, failed relationships, infidelity, run-ins with the law and the destructive belief that if he hurt people first, they couldn't hurt him. Recovery eventually forced him to do something very different—lower the walls, feel the pain when things went wrong and stop numbing every uncomfortable emotion.The conversation also explores Michael's evolving relationship with faith. After initially wanting nothing to do with the "God stuff" in recovery, his idea of a higher power gradually evolved from the people in the rooms to a personal relationship with Christ.And because this is Pondoff’s Anonymous, somehow all of that exists alongside restaurant hookup culture, cocaine, bowling, getting tased, The Sopranos, questionable golf-course stories and an alarming amount of discussion that probably shouldn't appear in an episode description.It's a conversation about what happens when the things you once tried hardest to hide become the exact things that allow you to connect with—and help—someone else.
3 Aug

Pondoff's Anonymous Season 3 Episode 26: "The Groceries That Saved My Life" featuring Ricky Stewart

This week, Chris, KG, and Zoë sit down with Ricky Stewart, Director of Hilljack House and former Illinois Recovery Center case manager, for an honest conversation about addiction, identity, and the long road to recovery.Ricky shares what it was like growing up as the youngest of five—and an identical twin—in a home that looked stable from the outside but was filled with chaos behind closed doors. He opens up about his introduction to heroin, thirty treatment centers, relapse after four years of sobriety, and the moments that nearly convinced him to give up.The conversation explores sober living, fatherhood, pornography addiction, mental health, shame, grace, sponsorship, and the people who kept showing up even when Ricky couldn't answer the door. It's a powerful reminder that recovery isn't about becoming perfect—it's about staying connected when everything inside you tells you to isolate.There are plenty of laughs mixed in, because that's how life works. Even in the middle of the hardest stories, hope has a way of finding its way into the room.
27 July

"Bring Me The Pebble, Not The Mountain" featuing Erin Johnston of Addiction Is Real

This week, Chris, KG, and Erin Johnston of Addiction Is Real sit down for a conversation that challenges the way we think about addiction, recovery, and mental health. From the realities of detox and the fentanyl crisis to youth mental health, suicide prevention, Narcan, and supporting families in crisis, Erin shares what she's learned after years of working alongside people whose lives have been forever changed by substance use. But this isn't just a conversation about statistics—it's about people, compassion, and the small moments that can change the course of someone's life. The discussion also explores grace, faith, parenting, community, grief, and why creating a space where people feel seen may be one of the most powerful forms of prevention we have. As always, there are plenty of laughs mixed in along the way, proving that even the heaviest conversations can leave you with hope. If you've ever wondered how to better support someone who's struggling—or simply become a better human being—this episode is for you.
20 July

"I Thought Everyone Drank Like That" featuring Morgan Coyner

This week, Chris, Zoë, and KG welcome Morgan Coyner for one of the funniest—and most vulnerable—conversations of the season. Morgan opens up about growing up with a mother battling mental illness and addiction, finding alcohol at an early age, becoming a high-achieving alcoholic through college, and eventually discovering a life she never thought was possible in recovery. Along the way, the conversation bounces from Four Lokos, fraternity parties, and NASCAR bets to Virginia Tech, faith, forgiveness, family, and what it really means to heal from childhood trauma. As always with Pondoff's Anonymous, the laughs come just as often as the tears. Whether they're joking about purity culture, arguing over music, or unpacking the complicated relationship between love and addiction, this episode is a reminder that recovery isn't just surviving your story—it's learning to tell it with honesty, hope, and maybe a few inappropriate jokes along the way.
15 July · Bonus

Pondoff's Anonymous Best of Season 3

Pondoff's Anonymous had the week off while Chris gallivanted around his homeland in Italy.So for this week, please enjoy this Pondoff's Anonymous Best of Season 3.Featuring conversations with Marcus "Buff" Bagwell, Michael Wellington, Kira Andersen, Ryan Canaday, and many more, this best of episode is filled with stories of recovery, triumph, success, heartache, and every other human emotion you can think of.Each of these stories are unique in their own way, but they all have one thing in common: they prove that no matter what you're dealing with, whether it be addiction, loss, mental health issues, or anything else, you don't have to do it alone. If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out to us here at Pondoff's Anonymous.
6 July

"I Stabbed Him 13 Times" with Cole Shea

Some people hit rock bottom in a single moment. For others, it's thousands of small decisions that slowly pull them further away from the life they were meant to live. On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, Cole Shea shares the winding road that led from a turbulent childhood and high school football dreams to heroin addiction, prison, and eventually a decade of sobriety. Growing up surrounded by addiction, violence, and instability, Cole explains how loyalty to family often collided with the boundaries that others tried to set for him—and how those choices shaped the course of his life. Cole opens up about surviving Type 1 diabetes while incarcerated, navigating years of active addiction alongside family members, the reality of prison life, and the moment he realized he couldn't keep outrunning the consequences of his decisions. Along the way, the conversation explores trauma, accountability, recovery, and the difference between simply surviving and genuinely learning how to live. Whether you've lived this story yourself or loved someone who has, Cole's honesty is a testament to the idea that your past doesn't have to write the rest of your story.
29 June

"I Can Tell You Every Way To Not Get Sober"

This week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, Tony Martin joins the show to share a recovery journey that starts in a small town in Jefferson County and winds through family trauma, addiction, divorce, jail cells, treatment centers, Oxford House, and ultimately a life dedicated to helping others find recovery.Growing up with a mother battling severe mental illness, Tony learned early what it felt like to live in survival mode. After finally escaping a chaotic home environment as a teenager, drugs quickly became more than a way to have fun—they became a way to feel safe, accepted, and connected. What began with marijuana eventually evolved into years of methamphetamine use, heavy drinking, failed relationships, and a growing inability to imagine life without substances.Along the way, Tony reflects on the people who believed in him when he couldn't believe in himself, from his grandmother and teachers to family members who never stopped hoping he'd find another way. He shares stories that are hilarious, heartbreaking, and at times unbelievable—including military enlistment mishaps, bartending at Red Lobster, blackout drinking, and the many rationalizations addiction convinced him were perfectly reasonable.Most importantly, this episode explores what happens when someone who spent years trying to escape pain finally decides to face it. Today, Tony is helping others navigate recovery through Oxford House and nonprofit work, using every lesson from his past to serve people who are walking the same road he once did.This is a conversation about trauma, resilience, second chances, and the reality that recovery is about far more than simply putting down a drink or a drug._____________________Illinois Recovery Center:⁠ https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com/⁠Find us on Facebook, Instagram, & YouTube.⁠https://www.facebook.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@pondoffsanonymous
22 June

"Don't Worry, Mom. I'm OK" with Chrissy Shields

On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, we sit down with Chrissy Shields and her sons, Arty Berreman and Jake Shields, to share the life and legacy of AJ Berreman. Through laughter, tears, and incredible honesty, the Berreman family opens up about AJ's battle with addiction, bipolar disorder, treatment, recovery attempts, and the difficult reality of loving someone through a disease that affects the entire family.From hockey rinks and family dinners to rehab centers and heartbreaking phone calls, this conversation explores the moments that shaped AJ's life, the challenges his family faced, and the lessons they've learned in the years since his passing. Chrissy shares what it was like to watch her son struggle, the hope that kept her going, and the dream that finally brought her peace.This isn't just a story about addiction. It's a story about family, resilience, grief, faith, forgiveness, and the impact one person can have long after they're gone.Today, AJ's legacy lives on through the people who loved him, the lives touched by his story, and the annual golf tournament held in his honor.❤️ In memory of AJ Berriman.

Pondoff’s Anonymous is the unfiltered recovery podcast that says the quiet part out loud. Hosted by Chris Pondoff and Zoë Mendenall, it’s real talk about addiction, recovery, and everything between. Each episode dives into relapse, trauma, shame, and the hard f*cking work of getting better. Honest, raw, and laced with gallows humor, because sometimes the only way through pain is to laugh at it.

Creator

Chris Pondoff, Zoë Mendenall
Years Active

2019 - 2026
Episodes

89
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Chris Pondoff, Zoë Mendenall
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