Pondoff's Anonymous

Pondoff's Anonymous
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Pondoff’s Anonymous is the unfiltered recovery podcast that says the quiet part out loud. Hosted by Chris Pondoff, Jeff Allen, and Zoë Mendenall, it’s real talk about addiction, recovery, and everything between. Each episode dives into relapse, trauma, shame, and the hard f*cking work of getting better. Honest, raw, and laced with gallows humor, because sometimes the only way through pain is to laugh at it.

  1. S3E10 The Weight of Shame with Julie Wiseman

    1 DAY AGO

    S3E10 The Weight of Shame with Julie Wiseman

    Content Note: This episode contains discussion of suicide, addiction, and mental health. Julie Wiseman with her friend (also) Julie Thanks to our sponsors: McKelvey Insurance Group http://mckelveyins.com LightSource http://FindYourLightSource.com In this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris and Zoë sit down with Julie Wiseman, joined by her friend Dee, for a deeply honest conversation about grief, learning differences, addiction, and the long shadow of shame. Julie shares the story of her son Nick, from early struggles with dyslexia and anxiety to the deeper mental health and substance use battles that followed, and the devastating reality of losing him to suicide. Along the way, the conversation opens up into something even bigger… parenting fear, the pressure kids carry, the gaps in support for teens and families, and the kind of community that can help people feel less alone. Julie talks about creating Nick’s Beautiful Angels, Zoë reflects on her own experience with dyslexia and ADHD, and the group keeps coming back to a simple truth… isolation makes everything worse, and honest connection matters. Chapters: 00:00 Navigating Personal Challenges 02:51 Understanding Learning Differences 12:15 The Impact of ADHD and Dyslexia 20:51 Social Connections and Communication 32:06 The Role of Support Systems 40:19 Exploring Addiction and Recovery 49:48 The Importance of Open Conversations 59:48 Coping with Isolation and Pressure 01:09:49 Finding Joy in Everyday Life 01:19:33 The Journey of Self-Discovery 01:29:00 Fear, Setbacks, and Turning Points 01:39:00 Living With Panic and Uncertainty 01:47:11 The Weight of the Last Text 01:57:00 Grief in Daily Life 02:05:00 Courage, Community, and Keep Going 02:13:20 Landing the Plane

    2h 16m
  2. S3E9 Lyndsey Jacob

    16 MAR

    S3E9 Lyndsey Jacob

    In this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris sits down with Lyndsey Jacob, Kyle Jacob, and Zoë for an honest conversation about addiction, recovery, trauma, ADHD, marriage, family, sobriety, and healing. Lyndsey shares what it was like to live in denial while knowing things could not keep going the way they were. She talks about cocaine use, alcohol, secrecy, survival mode, shame, and the fear of facing life without substances. This episode explores the turning points that led her toward honesty, treatment, and recovery. Chris, Lyndsey, Kyle, and Zoë also talk about the impact addiction has on marriage, trust, family, finances, motherhood, and identity. They unpack how childhood experiences, trauma, and ADHD can shape adult behavior and self-perception, and how deeper issues can stay hidden underneath addiction for years. This conversation also gets into support systems, accountability, stigma, and the role of community in recovery. Kyle shares what it was like to walk through this as a husband, and the episode offers a real look at what healing can require from everyone involved. It is messy, personal, honest, and hopeful. If you are interested in addiction recovery, sobriety, trauma healing, mental health, ADHD, relationships, or real stories of change, this episode is for you. Timestamps 00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships01:11 Personal Reflections on Life and Challenges02:34 The Importance of Connection and Community06:00 Navigating Personal Struggles and Support Systems09:29 The Journey of Recovery and Realizations12:43 Understanding Addiction and Its Complexities16:14 The Role of Family and Relationships in Recovery19:10 Childhood Experiences and Their Impact on Adulthood25:46 Unpacking Trauma and ADHD27:11 The Turning Point: Coming Clean to Family28:19 The Importance of Support in Recovery32:01 Facing the Reality of Addiction36:00 Unpacking Trauma and Honesty48:59 The Journey of Self-Discovery52:03 Understanding Different Addictive Behaviors58:12 Navigating Substance Use and Social Norms59:58 The Journey of a Single Mother01:02:55 Love, Loss, and New Beginnings01:05:58 The Highs and Lows of Addiction01:09:52 The Cost of Addiction on Finances and Relationships01:24:31 The Impact of Addiction on Family Dynamics01:27:12 Breaking the Stigma of Addiction01:30:49 Accountability and Personal Growth in Recovery01:32:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing01:39:07 Understanding the Nature of Addiction01:41:01 The Role of Community in Recovery01:52:00 Finding Purpose in Recovery01:56:08 Embracing Authenticity and Connection Sponsors McKelvey Insurance Grouphttps://mckelveyins.com LightSource Psychotherapyhttps://findyourlightsource.com

    1hr 60min
  3. Fentanyl Killed My Son at a Sleepover | A Mother's Fight for Justice with Tiffany Foster

    9 MAR

    Fentanyl Killed My Son at a Sleepover | A Mother's Fight for Justice with Tiffany Foster

    Fentanyl Killed My Son at a Sleepover | A Mother's Fight for Justice Tiffany Foster's son Zack was 13 when he died from fentanyl poisoning at a friend's sleepover. He wasn't an addict. It was his first time. Eight days after his birthday, he was gone. Tiffany shares Zack's story -- his childhood, the night of August 28th, four years of legal battles, and the advocacy work she does now. If you're a parent, someone in recovery, or anyone who loves a young person, this one is for you. Fentanyl doesn't discriminate. Two milligrams -- the tip of a pencil -- is lethal. Zack had 44. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 -- Introduction to the Journey03:36 -- The Impact of Loss and Grief12:29 -- Understanding Zack's Childhood and Development24:32 -- Navigating Adolescence and Early Experimentation36:00 -- The Tragic Night and Its Consequences38:48 -- Navigating Parental Concerns42:05 -- The Night of the Incident44:28 -- The Shocking News51:50 -- Understanding the Overdose54:24 -- The Aftermath and Legal Proceedings01:01:32 -- The Trials and Sentencing01:19:12 -- Judicial System Insights and Parole Eligibility01:22:28 -- Navigating Grief and the Impact of Trials01:26:05 -- The Verdict: A Moment of Relief01:30:21 -- Joining the Fight Against Addiction01:33:08 -- Early Prevention and Education on Substance Use01:41:43 -- Hidden in Plain View: Raising Awareness01:48:11 -- Knowledge is Power: Engaging Parents in Prevention01:50:15 -- Creating Awareness Through Personal Stories01:52:53 -- The Importance of Authenticity in Communication01:56:05 -- Navigating Grief and Addiction02:01:40 -- The Journey of Recovery and Support02:05:51 -- The Role of Community in Healing02:10:37 -- Continuing the Conversation on Addiction ABOUT ZACK Born August 21, 2008. Outgoing, loving, never met a stranger. He loved horror movies, video games, soccer, and Halloween, and had a personality big enough to fill any room. He was eight days past his 13th birthday when he died. His toxicology came back with 44 milligrams of fentanyl -- a lethal dose is 2 to 5 milligrams, an amount that fits on the tip of a pencil. THE LEGAL OUTCOME Three adults were charged. Andrew Amalong: convicted, 40 years concurrent. Thomas Noonan -- whose biological daughter had died from fentanyl three weeks before Zack -- convicted, 45 years consecutive with a repeat offender enhancement. Jury deliberations: 90 minutes and 30 minutes respectively. Final sentencing: August 2025. WHAT EVERY PARENT NEEDS TO HEAR Fentanyl is in marijuana, counterfeit pills, and things no one expects. Two milligrams is lethal.Zack was not an addict. This was his first time. One try can be fatal now.Talk to your kids early -- the fear that the conversation invites experimentation is wrong.Know where your kids sleep. Vet the household, not just whether a parent is home.Fentanyl poisoning does not care about grades, zip codes, or family stability.ADDICTION IS REAL Tiffany is a board member of Addiction Is Real, a St. Louis nonprofit focused on early substance use prevention and education. Their Hidden in Plain View program is a bedroom display with 70+ warning signs and stash items parents wouldn't recognize. They're building permanent mobile trailer displays -- needed by April 2026. Free parent toolkit at addictionisreal.org. SPONSORS Light Source PsychotherapyMcKelvey Insurance Group | 618-623-0080 CONNECT pondoffsanonymous.com Pondoff's Anonymous | Chris Pandoff, Zoe Mendenall, Jeff Allen | Illinois Recovery Center | Music: McCall -- "Anti-Hero"

    2h 19m
  4. “We Is Stronger Than Me” with Ryan Canaday & Karie McMullen

    2 MAR

    “We Is Stronger Than Me” with Ryan Canaday & Karie McMullen

    “We Is Stronger Than Me” with Ryan Canaday & Karie McMullenPondoff’s Anonymous Ryan Canaday and Karie McMullen from FREE Recovery Community in Denver join us for a raw, thoughtful conversation about addiction, faith, grief, and the power of community. This episode explores what happens when recovery shifts from isolation to connection. We talk about shame, anger at God, burnout in ministry spaces, losing people to addiction, and the kind of spiritual community that makes room for doubt instead of punishing it. At the center of this episode is one simple but powerful idea: “we” is stronger than “me.” About FREE Recovery Community FREE Recovery Community (Denver, CO) https://www.freerecoverycommunity.com A spiritually grounded recovery community focused on connection, belonging, and breaking shame through honest conversation. Time Stamps 00:00 – Introduction to the journey 03:12 – Transformative moments in recovery 08:55 – Faith, community, and what actually helps people heal 12:54 – Doubt, anger at God, and staying spiritually honest 17:47 – Addiction and family systems 22:48 – Desperation, surrender, and what finally shifts 30:32 – “We” is stronger than “me” 35:03 – The illusion of anonymity and the power of shame 59:53 – How FREE Recovery Community started 01:05:56 – Grief, funerals, and the urgency of the work 01:30:31 – Representation and belonging in spiritual spaces 02:00:56 – Baptism and redemptionConnect with Pondoff’s Anonymous https://www.pondoffsanonymous.com Sponsors McKelvey Insurance Group https://www.mckelveyins.com LightSource Psychotherapy (Belleville, IL) https://www.findyourlightsource.com

    2h 11m
  5. Grief, Phish, Fentanyl & Truth with Theresa Solsten

    23 FEB

    Grief, Phish, Fentanyl & Truth with Theresa Solsten

    🔥 Pondoff’s Anonymous – Show Notes 🎙️ Episode Title: Grief, Phish, Fentanyl & Truth 🎧 Guest: Theresa Solsten Who this episode is for: - Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol - Families grieving someone lost to overdose — or what we’re calling it now: poisoning - Anyone carrying shame in silence - Men who’ve never been told they’re allowed to feel - Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life - Phish fans and the Phish-curious --- Theresa is back. And this one goes deep. Eight years ago, her sister Michelle died from fentanyl poisoning. Not a moral failure. Not a statistic. A poisoning. We talk about why language matters. Why “overdose” carries stigma. Why “poisoning” tells the truth. Most people who die from fentanyl never intended to die. They thought they were buying something else. They were wrong — and it cost them everything. Theresa shares: - Discovering her sister was using - Taking her to her first meeting - Clean time that ended quietly - The secrecy addicts build out of fear - The isolation of grieving someone society still judges “People choose isolation because they’re trying to feel safe.” That line hits. Addiction isn’t just self-destruction. It’s fear. Shame. Survival wiring that stopped working. We also talk about: - Therapy as preventative maintenance - Why support systems matter before crisis hits - Why men need emotional safe spaces - The “doorknob confession” phenomenon - How to challenge the thoughts that keep you stuck And yes — we talk about Phish. Because grief and joy coexist. You can carry loss and still debate your favorite live jam. You can mourn your sister and still show up to the show. Somewhere between cutting hair and holding space for clients unloading their lives, Theresa feels a pull toward something bigger in the recovery space. Behavioral health was her first love. Grief made it personal. Michelle’s story didn’t end when she died. It lives on every time it’s told. If you’ve ever: - Loved an addict - Been the addict - Lost someone and struggled to say it out loud - Sat in your car before work trying to steady yourself This episode is for you. Full transcript here: :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0} Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

    2h 4m
  6. Pondoff's Anonymous introduces Needed to Hear That with Chaz and Pondoff

    16 FEB

    Pondoff's Anonymous introduces Needed to Hear That with Chaz and Pondoff

    Pondoff’s Anonymous is on a one week break, but we didn’t want to leave you hanging… So today we’re sharing an episode of our newer show, *Needed to Hear That*. This one is a do not miss. If you’ve ever connected with what we try to do here, honest conversations, recovery, mental health, and the stuff people usually don’t say out loud, this podcast is absolutely for you. Subscribe to *Needed to Hear That* so you don’t miss the next one.

    1hr 33min
  7. When Addiction Stops Being Fun | Cocaine, Meth, Prison & Recovery with Triple X

    9 FEB

    When Addiction Stops Being Fun | Cocaine, Meth, Prison & Recovery with Triple X

    Who this episode is for:Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol who still think they’re in controlPeople living double lives and calling it “functional”Anyone carrying childhood trauma they’ve never dealt withFamilies trying to love someone who keeps self-destructingAnyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and told themselves it was ambition This episode is not clean.It’s not polished.And it sure as hell isn’t motivational fluff. This is a full, unfiltered autopsy of addiction. Chris Pondoff and Zoe Mendenall sit down with Triple X — addict in recovery, speaker, author, and recovery advocate — and let him tell the whole story. Not the safe version. Not the highlight reel. The real one. From growing up poor with emotional abuse and abandonment…to chasing validation, power, money, and belonging…to cocaine, meth, large-scale dealing, paranoia, prison, relapse, and finally rebuilding a life with structure and purpose. This conversation tears apart the myth of the “functional addict” and exposes how addiction often starts as a solution — until it becomes the cage you can’t escape. Triple X walks through it all:When cocaine felt like confidence.When money felt like control.When the pager never stopped buzzing.When the helicopter light hit the apartment.When fun turned into fear.When meth changed everything.When prison became inevitable.When recovery finally demanded structure, discipline, and boundaries. There’s no glamor here.Just ego, trauma, chaos, consequences — and the long road back. You’ll hear about:Childhood emotional abuse and abandonmentTrauma as the root, not the excuseWhy structure is non-negotiable in recoveryCocaine, meth, and the escalation trapThe business side of addiction and how it growsLiving two lives and being exhausted by bothArrest, plea deals, prison, and consequencesRelapse, shame, and getting back upBuilding a new life through discipline and purpose This episode doesn’t ask for sympathy.It demands honesty. If you’re listening and thinking, “I’m not that bad,”you should probably keep listening. GUEST:Triple X — addict in recovery, speaker, author, and recovery advocate BOOK:Becoming the Change by Triple X SOCIAL MEDIA:TikTok: @be_the_change_recovery BUSINESS:Muther MushroomWebsite: https://muthermushroom.com/(Launching in the coming weeks) EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships05:54 Personal Stories and Connections12:03 Childhood Trauma and Its Impact22:03 Radical Inclusion in Recovery28:57 The Illusion of Control: Functional Addiction35:40 The Highs and Lows of Cocaine Use43:15 The Business of Addiction: From Small to Large Scale52:47 The Turning Point: From Fun to Fear58:35 The Introduction to Methamphetamine01:04:32 Family Dynamics and Addiction01:22:30 Turning Point: From Struggle to Success01:30:01 The Exhaustion of Dual Lives01:39:59 The Inevitable Fall: Facing Consequences01:50:00 The Arrest: A Life Unraveled02:01:10 Plea Bargaining and Sentencing02:12:23 Post-Prison Life and Business Ventures02:19:23 Relapse and Recovery Journey02:30:04 The Struggle with Addiction02:35:44 The Turning Point: A Wake-Up Call02:42:18 The Power of Positive Reinforcement02:48:32 Building a New Life: Recovery and Business Nothing about recovery is pretty.But it’s real.And it’s possible. Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

    2h 57m
  8. Gut Instincts and Second Chances with Sam Lander

    2 FEB

    Gut Instincts and Second Chances with Sam Lander

    Who this episode is for:Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol.Anyone rebuilding after wreckage—physical, emotional, legal.People whose guts are wrecked and spirits even worse.Ex-party people trying to become whole humans.Fitness freaks, trauma healers, and closet sugar junkies.Anyone who's ever made a mess of their life and needed to start over—again. Sam Lander has lived a few lifetimes in one. This episode goes hard into her journey—from synchronized swimmer and college partier to LA chaos and courtrooms to spiritual awakening and gut healing. She’s seen it all and now helps others feel better in their bodies and lives through science-backed, soul-conscious wellness work. Sam opens up about the rollercoaster of addiction, relapse, rehab, and recovery—not once, but over years of painful unraveling and healing. She talks about the pink cloud of early sobriety, how the body holds trauma, and what it really means to rebuild after everything falls apart. And she doesn’t just talk it—she lives it. Today, she runs a full-scale health and wellness practice that dives deep into gut health, hormones, and the mind-body connection. She’ll teach you how to run labs on yourself, heal your insides, and maybe even laugh while shitting in a box. Real talk. This is an episode about survival, reinvention, and finally figuring out what the hell makes you feel alive—and feel good. Work with Sam and get your gut right at:https://seefitpt.com Follow her on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/seefitliving TIME STAMPS:00:00 Navigating Distractions and Reactions05:08 Healthy Eating and Lifestyle Changes11:57 Sober Living and Its Challenges17:57 Personal Stories and Life Lessons24:05 The Impact of Substance Use30:12 Reflections on Recovery and Growth36:02 Life in Los Angeles and Career Paths42:01 Facing Consequences and Legal Issues46:28 Navigating Personal Struggles49:30 The Journey of Recovery52:23 Finding Strength in Vulnerability54:39 Life Lessons from Adversity56:42 The Impact of Relationships on Recovery01:00:50 Health and Wellness Insights01:02:19 The Role of Nutrition in Recovery01:06:33 Understanding Mental Health Challenges01:10:32 The Importance of Support Systems01:15:31 Reflections on Growth and Change Sponsored by🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com

    1hr 41min
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About

Pondoff’s Anonymous is the unfiltered recovery podcast that says the quiet part out loud. Hosted by Chris Pondoff, Jeff Allen, and Zoë Mendenall, it’s real talk about addiction, recovery, and everything between. Each episode dives into relapse, trauma, shame, and the hard f*cking work of getting better. Honest, raw, and laced with gallows humor, because sometimes the only way through pain is to laugh at it.

Information

  • Channel
    Pondoff's Anonymous
  • Creator
    Chris Pondoff, Jeff Allen, Zoë Mendenall
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    71
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chris Pondoff, Jeff Allen, Zoë Mendenall
  • Show Website
    Pondoff's Anonymous

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