There was something Jeffrey said during this conversation that stopped me. When we've been sick before, we've always expected to get better. A cold. An infection. An operation. Something happens, we recover, and eventually we get our old life back. Until one day... we don't. I knew exactly what he meant. Dr Jeffrey Bone knows what it is to have a body suddenly change the rules. After becoming incredibly unwell, Jeffrey eventually discovered that exposure to black mould in his workplace had triggered Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome and uncovered an underlying immune disorder, Common Variable Immune Deficiency. But this conversation became about so much more than what happened to Jeffrey medically. We talked about what happens to you when your body changes. The grief of trying desperately to get back to the person you were. The loneliness of experiencing something nobody else can actually feel. The frustration of not being believed. The strange things people say because they don't know what else to say. And that uncomfortable question many of us eventually have to face: If I can't do everything I used to do... am I still as valuable? Jeffrey and I have very different stories, but there were moments throughout this conversation when I found myself thinking, yes... you understand. And somewhere amongst all of the hard stuff, we found ourselves talking about curiosity. Not enormous life-changing things. Sometimes it's a fountain. A barbecue. A bathtub that needs fixing. Or, in my case after talking to Jeffrey, looking at the inside of my oven and wondering whether perhaps that could become my next little project! Because when there are enormous things happening inside our bodies that we cannot control, perhaps there is something incredibly powerful about finding one small thing that we can. One problem. One action. One little piece of life that still belongs to us. We also talk about medical systems, chronic illness, identity, relationships, existential psychology, hope, joy, being present with someone who is suffering and why people with chronic illness don't necessarily need you to fix anything. Sometimes we just need you to sit beside us. Listen. Care. And remember that underneath everything our bodies are doing... we are still here. Jeffrey finishes this conversation with a beautiful thought from Ram Dass: We're all just walking each other home. Perhaps that's enough. • Jeffrey's experience of black mould exposure and Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome • Common Variable Immune Deficiency and finally getting answers • What happens when your old life isn't coming back • The loneliness of invisible and chronic illness • Medical dismissal and the exhaustion of trying to be believed • Grieving the person you used to be • Separating our worth from productivity • Why acceptance isn't the same as giving up • Curiosity as a way of finding your way forward • Finding small things we can control when our bodies feel uncontrollable • What people with chronic illness actually need from the people around them • Why action can help restore a sense of agency • Hope, meaning and finding life amongst limitation • Helping each other walk home About Dr Jeffrey Bone Dr Jeffrey Bone is a psychologist, chronic illness coach, author and host of To The Bone: Conversations on Pain, Illness, and Meaning. Drawing on both professional knowledge and lived experience, Jeffrey supports people navigating chronic illness, pain, uncertainty and the enormous identity changes that can come with them. Find Jeffrey at drbone.live Keywords: chronic illness, Dr Jeffrey Bone, chronic illness podcast, invisible illness, Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome, CIRS, black mould,mould exposure, Common Variable Immune Deficiency, chronic pain, brain fog, chronic fatigue, medical dismissal, medical gaslighting, chronic illness identity, grief, acceptance, self worth, living with chronic illness, Suddenly Different podcast
