106 episodes

*Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019*


Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Welcome To Patchwork Christian, Dion and Josh

    • Comedy
    • 4.8 • 348 Ratings

*Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019*


Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

    What’s The Furthest You’d Walk To An Event?

    What’s The Furthest You’d Walk To An Event?

    Turns out that Dion hates a meandering walk but Christian and Josh love to go for a trot - conversation ensues. We find out our limits for how far we're willing to walk and under what conditions. Christian also reveals something shocking about his feet.


    We also take a trip to the tuck shop and reminisce about our old tuck shop orders and most likely what we'd order now as adults.


    Josh gives us an update on the Turtle saga for those who followed that story on our instagram.


    With very special guests 'Patchword of the day', 'Time to Think' and 'Really Good'.


    Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 32 min
    Patch #92 - How Should You Pass The Time Whilst Waiting For A Food Delivery?

    Patch #92 - How Should You Pass The Time Whilst Waiting For A Food Delivery?

    We discuss if it's ok to simply hang up a phone call while it's ringing, or if you should let it ring out to be polite. Christian thinks that under no circumstance can you hang up and he takes us through his '4 ring classification system'. We also delve into what kind of activities are permitted to be undertaken while waiting for your food delivery to arrive. Dion apparently loves to do a bit of a backyard prune!


    Josh also delivers the second part of his story about Kamahl. This installment details what it's like trying to use modern technology with an 87 year old singer.


    With very special guests 'Oh Wow', 'Never Scene It' and 'Really Good'.


    Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 32 min
    Patch #91 - How I Became Friends With Kamahl

    Patch #91 - How I Became Friends With Kamahl

    Christian picks a bone with Josh's tuneless whistling. We discuss what we've been up to since lockdown has lifted here in Melbourne. Number one post lockdown activity on Dion's list was a hair cut - is that weird? I rekon it's a bit weird. Christian is desperate to get into a store and sit on a couch as he seeks to furnish his new place and Josh just wants to do the boring thing of 'socialising' - what a commie bastard!


    Josh also regales us with the story of how he became friends with Kamahl. Kamahl has had a very interesting life and has some wild stories to tell, can't wait to share them with you!


    With very special guests 'Zoo Crew' and a different twist on 'Really Good'.


    Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 33 min
    Patch #90 - Are You Ever The First Person To Clap?

    Patch #90 - Are You Ever The First Person To Clap?

    How confident are you in being that first person to put their hands together at the end of a performance? It's a big risk, what if you get it wrong? They'll boo you out of the theatre, probably. We also critique those pointless empty gestures like pretending to pick something up that's fallen over when you have absolutely no intetion at all to follow through. Why would you bend over like a chump when someone else will, and by faking it you still get credit for trying. Just don't pause and hover halfway down like Dion's friend did.


    We also get a quick 'sausage in glass jar' update and Josh picks a bone with Christian's policy on washing glassware.


    With very special guests 'Mad Lifts' and 'Really Good'.


    Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 35 min
    Patch #89 - Should You Peel The Foil Entirely Off A Dip?

    Patch #89 - Should You Peel The Foil Entirely Off A Dip?

    We talk animal shelters, flat tyres and delivery estimate etiquette. Josh clumisly wades into dog eugenics while Christian can't stop talking about sexy dogs.


    We also go deep on dip. Should the foil stay or go once the seal has been broken? We just can't decide, what do you rekon? We also discover that Dion has shocking sour cream application technique.


    With very special guests 'Wheel of Fortune Cookie' and 'Really Good'.


    Josh's 'Game Boys' Melbourne Fringe show 'Hey Hey It's Lockdown' is on 8pm Friday 8th and 15th.
    Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. 
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 36 min
    Patch #88 - What Turns A Catch-Up Into A Night Out?

    Patch #88 - What Turns A Catch-Up Into A Night Out?

    "The boys are back in town, the boys are back in towwwnnnn." *sung to the tune of "Boys Are Back In Town".


    While we've been hating our lives in lockdown, Dion's been gardening and ruminating on what could've been if he'd ever got a job at Bunnings. We give some advice to a Patreon in need whose housemate is taking way too much credit for recommending she try oat milk. We also tackle the age old question of what is required for an evening to be considered a 'night out' rather than just a catch-up. Heavy weight stuff in this one.


    With very special guests 'Sound Check' and 'Really Good'.


    Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. 
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 37 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
348 Ratings

348 Ratings

jmpat ,

Must-listen comedy

Such a funny show. The guys dissect the minutiae of every day life in the most hilarious way.

Phoebe.m.k ,

Love this podcast

Im not one to listen to podcasts… but I keep up with this one every week! Always a good laugh

gemma_m_m ,

Do you know what’s really good?

This podcast 😎

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