202 episodes

A podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.

You Can't Do That Never Not Media

    • Sport
    • 5.0 • 12 Ratings

A podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.

    #190: Takes Two To Scam-Tango

    #190: Takes Two To Scam-Tango

    "The pathos is upped." Check in on the playoffs' first round with Kelly, Eva, and Rave! Lots to contend with so far, including Kuzy gaslighting the Canes with a veneer of respectability, Caps messiness (fond), Canucks messiness (anxious), and sweet Mitchell Marner's exquisite suffering. This episode was recorded on April 27, 2024.

    • 1 hr
    Bonus #32: Playoffs Bracketeering [TEASER]

    Bonus #32: Playoffs Bracketeering [TEASER]

    It's the return of a YCDT tradition: Rave, Eva, and Kelly assess the Stanley Cup Playoffs round one matchups to determine the non-hockey games these teams should actually be playing based on their shared auras, histories, and hopes. To hear the rest of this bonus segment, support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat

    • 38 min
    #189: Goalie Existentialism

    #189: Goalie Existentialism

    "Wienerpeg our way to the top." The Caps are teetering on the precipice of doing something SO hilarious. You may listen to this episode after their fate has been sealed - if so, please enjoy this snapshot of Eva, Rave, and Kelly's mental and emotional state in the before times. Also on the ol' outline this week: uncrunchable Nicke, calm collected Cooley, the Yotes' no good very bad ownership, and an ode to scholar-author Lexi LaFleur Brown. This episode was recorded on April 14, 2024.

    • 1 hr 15 min
    #188: Bobbleheist

    #188: Bobbleheist

    "He meant what he yelled." Our Washington Capitals remain too stupid to realize that they are dead and Kelly, Rave, and Eva are delighted! What a time we're all having! Topics for discussion include TJ's 1000th, the Pens' existential dread, Kuzy's new nest, Torts' hissy fit, the Larkin-less Red Wings, and a funky little Pittsburgh mystery. This episode was recorded on March 17, 2024.

    • 1 hr 19 min
    #187: Swaddle The Bruiser

    #187: Swaddle The Bruiser

    "Who to the core." Much occurred while this pod was fighting off illness, so Rave, Kelly, and Eva roll up their sleeves to tackle an agenda that includes the half-life of cocaine, Ted's big fail, Auston's golf...pod?, the Tampa yakuza, and the brief but appreciated heroism of Anthony Manthony. And in the distance, the trade deadline looms... This episode was recorded on March 3, 2024.

    • 1 hr 23 min
    #186: Longing To Shroom

    #186: Longing To Shroom

    "We have sparkling water money on the line." There's a lot about this year's All Star weekend for Eva, Kelly, and Rave to analyze, including Brock Boeser's "Favorite Boy" award, Kuch's boos, Michael Buble's drug experience, and...those player portraits. You know the ones. Also: Ovi's got his groove back; odes to discontinued jerseys; and an update from Kelly's Canucks corner. This episode was recorded on February 11, 2024.

    • 1 hr 27 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
12 Ratings

12 Ratings

ZoeElizabeth42 ,

The Best Part of the Week 🏒🔮🏒

This podcast taught me to embrace chaos and fun while also having the added bonus of keeping my Pens-Fan Attitude in check. As an Australian, every facet of hockey is a new labyrinth to fight through, and every week this podcast guides me to the centre and shows that the Minotaur was just a dirtbag boy in a SnapBack this whole time. It brings me so much joy. Love the whole crew and love every single episode. Thanks hockey coven 🔮🏒🔮

Joverie ,

Hockey coven are the only true podcasters

Despite committing the heinous sin of being Caps fans, the hockey coven cover every essential hockey item known to humanity, including shameboats, actually understandable explanations about hockey terms and the deeply enjoyable complete rejection of stats in any form. This podcast emanates such a fun chaotic good vibe that it will have you beginning to perhaps realise that murder cat Nicklas Backstrom is your real life patronus. 10/10 can not recommend enough.

bt spaceman ,

thanks for good content

some folks have good onions on that ice knife sport i like it

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