Why She Stayed

Grace Stuart

A podcast where we dive deep into what really goes on inside of domestic violence relationships that makes it so hard to simply "just leave". Through stories of survivors, and practical conversations with guests, I am going to put the microscope back on what the abuser is doing that causes us to become so trapped in the first place, and how each survivor was eventually freed. We will discuss what abusive relationships look like, sound like, and feel like for the purpose of educating and relating to one another in a much needed way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 19 hr ago

    Ep. 93: In Honor of Kymani: Aubree's Story | PART 1

    Everyone asks what happened the day Aubree’s husband shot her twice, murdered their nearly six-month-old son, Kymani, and then took his own life. But the deeper question is: What happened long before that day? In this episode of Why She Stayed, Aubree shares the story of the timespan leading up to the unimaginable tragedy that left her paralyzed and forever changed her life. While many people assume lethal domestic violence begins with physical abuse, Aubree’s story demonstrates something experts on coercive control have long understood: the pathway to extreme violence often begins with isolation, emotional abuse, and the gradual erosion of a person’s autonomy—not necessarily previous acts of physical assault. Aubree describes how her husband increasingly isolated her from the outside world, manipulated her decision-making through fear, and became consumed by conspiracy theories surrounding COVID-19. What initially appeared to be opinions or personal beliefs evolved into tools of control. His distrust of institutions, technology, and society became justification for limiting her independence, influencing where they lived, and keeping her increasingly disconnected from others. Throughout the conversation, we explore how paranoia, grandiose thinking, and fear-based narratives became mechanisms for coercive control, shaping nearly every aspect of their lives while making the abuse difficult to recognize for what it truly was. If you’ve ever wondered how relationships escalate to lethal violence without a history of physical assault, this conversation offers an important look at the patterns that too often go unseen. Aubree's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reclaiming.aubree/ Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of domestic violence, homicide, suicide, and the death of an infant. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep. 93: In Honor of Kymani: Aubree's Story | PART 1

  2. 28 Jul

    Ep 92 Abusers Don't Lose Control- They Deploy It: with Lindsay Stoker creator of The Control Code

    I sit down with Lindsay Stoker creator of The Control Code to unpack the most misunderstood aspects of coercive control and psychological abuse. One of the most powerful shifts in understanding abuse is learning to stop asking, “Was this incident abusive?” and instead asking, “What was this behavior designed to accomplish?” We discuss why the function of abusive behavior matters far more than the form it takes. In this conversation, we cover: Why abusers don’t lose control—they deploy it.Why coercive control is built through a million tiny threads that eventually become a rope.How abusers intentionally use "low-cost" methods of control that leave no bruises but dramatically reshape your behavior.How abusers get you to control yourself.Why the phrase “He never hit me” can keep survivors from recognizing an abusive relationship.How looking at abuse one incident at a time prevents you from seeing the system of control operating underneath it.Why abuse is like a pig wearing different colors of lipstick—the tactics change, but the function remains the same. If you’ve ever questioned your own experience because there wasn’t one “big enough” event, this episode is for you. Guest Links and Resources: Lindsay's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_control_code/ Lindsay's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_control_code Lindsay's SubStack: https://substack.com/@thecontrolcode Lindsay's Coercive Control Guides: https://linktr.ee/TheControlCode?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnCAZZI0BG0_X3rb4H7PS00yhJ3cAaZlTXiZ4Fi2zTweMMAbCGRy79jdMi_aQ_aem_lzeUgb-UjxBaVXAmpyJlaA Topics: coercive control, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, abusive relationships, manipulation, trauma, survivor education, relationship red flags, coercive control patterns, Lindsay Stoker, The Control Code. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep 92 Abusers Don't Lose Control- They Deploy It: with Lindsay Stoker creator of The Control Code

  3. 21 Jul

    Ep. 91: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Coercive Control

    If I could sit across from the woman I was back then, these are the 20 things I would tell her. In this episode of Why She Stayed, I reflect on my own experience of coercive control and share the lessons I wish someone had taught me while I was still living inside the confusion. In this episode, we unpack topics like: Why I found myself doing things that looked “sketchy” from the outside- like deleting text messages with friends and family- and how those behaviors were adaptations to coercive control.What an abuser is often trying to accomplish when he repeatedly says, “I would never hit a woman,” and why that statement can become part of a much larger manipulation strategy.How an abuser will say "this is just their personality" as a way to avoid accountability.Why constantly breaking up with you and pulling you back in is a powerful form of intermittent reinforcement that can create an addictive trauma bond.The hidden psychological dynamics that make intelligent, capable women stay in relationships they never imagined they’d tolerate.And 20 hard truths I wish I had understood years earlier. Whether you’re currently questioning your own relationship, trying to make sense of one you’ve already left, or supporting someone you love, this episode will help you understand coercive control in a way that goes far beyond the stereotypes of abuse. Grace's Instagram: @gracee__elizabethh Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep. 91: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Coercive Control

  4. 14 Jul

    Ep. 90: What if I'm Wrong About Everything?: Why AI Helps Survivors Feel Sane: Aimee Says

    What if you’re wrong about everything? It’s one of the most haunting questions survivors of coercive control ask themselves after years of psychological manipulation. In this episode of Why She Stayed, I sit down with Anne Wintemute, founder of AimeeSays, to unpack how blame-shifting rewires your thinking… and how abusers create the illusion of freedom, making you believe you can leave at any time while trapping you inside an invisible cage that’s nearly impossible to prove even to yourself. Learn more about AimeeSays here: ⁠www.AimeeSays.com Use code: GRACE for a discount on your Aimee subscription. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep. 90: What if I'm Wrong About Everything?: Why AI Helps Survivors Feel Sane: Aimee Says

  5. 7 Jul

    Ep.89: The Damage of Chronic Deception

    Brand new episode! This is a never-before-heard conversation. I’m joined by author Cora Leyderman, author of Meet Me at the Well, as she shares the story of her previous marriage to a pathological liar. While many people picture abuse as physical violence or obvious intimidation, Cora’s experience looked very different. Her husband’s primary tactics were relentless deception, psychological manipulation, and subtle patterns of control that left her questioning her own reality. If you’ve ever wondered whether emotional and psychological abuse can exist without physical violence, or if you’ve questioned your own experiences, this conversation offers insight and validation. Be sure to check out the links below to grab Cora’s book, Meet Me at the Well, and follow her on social media to learn more about her work and continue supporting her mission: Cora's Book: https://www.amazon.com/Meet-Me-Well-Coralia-Leyderman/dp/B0GDJF28ZZ Cora's Instagram: @1restoration_road Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep.89: The Damage of Chronic Deception

  6. 17 Mar

    Ep. 87: (Re-Release) Lundy Bancroft Interview: Why Does He Do That?

    This episode originally aired on May 13, 2025. Brand new episode will be released on Tuesday, March 24th. Lundy Bancroft is the author of the book "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" as well as many other books and has worked extensively in batterer intervention programs. He has over 30 years of experience working with abusive men and their families and is a leading voice in the field of domestic abuse and advocacy. For Lundy's books, recourses, and more visit his website at: https://lundybancroft.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep. 87: (Re-Release) Lundy Bancroft Interview: Why Does He Do That?

  7. 24 Feb

    Ep. 86: What If I Ruin His Life?- The Fear, the Grooming, and the People Who Said She'd Destroy Him.

    Lindsey shares the story of how her relationship slowly turned into something she didn’t recognize as abuse. What began as the gradual normalization of cheating became a pattern of psychological grooming. Over time, he reframed betrayal as “normal,” rewrote reality, and convinced her she was the one causing harm. He even faked medical emergencies- claiming she was causing him physical suffering from "stress" to keep her catering to him and feeling responsible for his well-being. Every conflict somehow became her fault. Every consequence felt like she was “ruining his life.” When the abuse escalated and arrest became a possibility, people around her warned, “What if you ruin his life?” — reinforcing the guilt he had already carefully planted. Lyndsey's IG: @lyndseyh6723 Her Podcast IG: @living.inthe.aftermath Where she serves on the board: @therefugeutah Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep. 86: What If I Ruin His Life?- The Fear, the Grooming, and the People Who Said She'd Destroy Him.

  8. 10 Feb

    Ep. 85: Twist, Blame, Repeat

    In this episode, Kelly shares her experience of being in a relationship where reality was constantly twisted. Her abuser was skilled at blame-shifting, making her feel like she was the problem for asking reasonable questions, having needs, or expecting basic respect. What made it even more confusing was how differently he showed up to the rest of the world. Friends, family, and acquaintances saw someone charming, easygoing, and well-liked. That contrast left Kelly feeling isolated, disoriented, and unsure of her own perception. This conversation is especially for anyone who is standing on the edge of a major commitment (like a wedding) and your gut is telling you something isn’t right, this episode may help you feel less alone, less dramatic, and more grounded in your truth. Sometimes the hardest thing isn’t leaving—it’s trusting yourself enough to believe what you already know. Guest Information: Kelly's Instagram- @the.kellymichelle Grace's Instagram: @gracee__elizabeth @whyshestayedpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Ep. 85: Twist, Blame, Repeat
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About

A podcast where we dive deep into what really goes on inside of domestic violence relationships that makes it so hard to simply "just leave". Through stories of survivors, and practical conversations with guests, I am going to put the microscope back on what the abuser is doing that causes us to become so trapped in the first place, and how each survivor was eventually freed. We will discuss what abusive relationships look like, sound like, and feel like for the purpose of educating and relating to one another in a much needed way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Grace Stuart
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    84
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Grace Stuart
  • Show Website
    Why She Stayed

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